第5章
jianghaofunainaihuidaojiahou，jialiyipianlangjie，kandetaxinlizhimaohuo，kendingyoushiwuqinghezhangqianqianzheiduiaiqiandaodegounannvdaojialiqifutanainai。
tazuishangmeishuo，danxinliquejilexialai，banainaifudaochuangshangtangxia，tazhaolegeliyoujiulikailejia，tayaoqumaidianyaocaiaozhixianfumenjizaideyufugao。
buguochumenqian，tacongxianfumendechuanchengjiyizhong，zhaodaoleyizhongjibieyu‘tinghuafu’yiyangdefulu，jiaozuo‘dalifu’，jizaishuo，shiyongcifuzhe，duanshijianneihuibiandelidawuqiong，kanbixiongmengyeshou。weibimianwuqingdairenzhaoshangmenlaibaofu，tabixuyaotiqianzhunbeihaoduozhongyingfushouduan。
yilianhuizhileliangzhang‘dalifu’，jianghaoleidemantoudahan，dantianneidejinselingqigengshixiaohaoyikong，tameiyouxiuxi，ershituozhepileideshentilikailejia。
gangchumen，jianghaozhengcazheetoushangdehanshui，yiliangheisedemaibahebiancongyuanchushilai，jigezhayanjianyigejichatingzailetademianqian。
jianghaoweiweiyijing，xinxiangwuqingdebaofujuranlaidezheimekuai？
tameiyouduoxiang，lijibashoushenjinkoudai，moleyizhang‘dalifu’zuanzaishouzhong，takanbujiancheliyouduoshaoren，jinshenqijian，tazhengzhunbeishiyong‘dalifu’deshihou，jieguochemendakaile，yiweimeidaolingrenzhixidenvrencongcheshangxialai。
tajuemeiderongyan，baixiruniunaiyibandejifu，wanmeidaojizhideshencai，zaidapeishangshishanggaodangdexiushenbaiyiqun，bujinrangjianghaoduiqingguoqingcheng、guosetianxiang、chenyuluoyandengyixieyuanbenmohudecihuiyouleyigefeichangqingxiderenzhi。
tayiqianjuedezhangqianqianjiushishijieshangzuipiaoliangdenvren。
keshiheyanqianzheigenvrenbiqilai，budui，shuangfangmeiyoukebixing，zhangqianqianshuyufanfusuzi，eryanqianzheigenvrengengxiangshiconghuazhongzouchulaidexiannv，weiyimeizhongbuzudedifangjiushitashenshangneigubinglengdeqixi，jishimianduimianbushuohua，yehuijirenyizhongyaoyuandejuligan。
jianghaodaliangleliangyan，tachengrenzijibeizheigenvrenderongmaoheqizhijingdaole，buguoxinlidaoshimeishenmexiangfa，jianbushiwuqingdairenlaibaofu，tasongkaishoulide‘dalifu’，ranhoujiuzhunbeizou，sheizhijingguonvrenshenbiandeshihou，quebeinvrenshenshoulanlexialai。
zheigenvrenjiushilingshuang，wangminqianzaicheshangmeixialai，tamenbenlaiqujianyuzhaojianghao，buguoqudaodeshihoujianyuzhangshuojianghaochuyule，yinweiwangminqianzhiqianteyidiaochaguojianghao，zhidaojianghaojiadedizhi，suoyibianzhijiecongjianyuzhaodaozheili，ganghaojiupengdaozhunbeichumendejianghao。
“nihao，youshima？”jianghaoyihuodewendao。
“nijiushijianghao？”lingshuanglengdandewendao。
“dui，woshijianghao。”jianghaodiandiantou。
tahenqiguai，zijibingburenshiyanqianzheigenvren，tashizenmezhidaozijidemingzide？
lingshuangzeshiyiyanbufadedaliangzhejianghao。
cheneidewangminqiancishizhengjuzheshoujidakaileluzhi，yinyinyouxiexingfendexiaoshengdao：“jiemei，biegenzheizhongshehuibaileifeihuaa，zhijiebahunshuzazaitalianshang，ranhoudashenggaosuta，nizheizhong**genbenpeibushangwolingshuang...”
wangminqianxiangbazheijingcaideyimuluxialai，wuliaodeshihounachulaihuiweiyixiahaishitingbucuode。
jieguojiuzaizheigeshihou，lingshuangjingzhizhixiangqiandaoleguoqu。
zhanzaiduimiandejianghaojianzhuang，xiayishidejiuwanghoutui，xinxiangzijizheishiyudaomeinvpengcile？
danchuyuneixindeshanliang，tazuizhonghaishishangqianbaozhulenvren。
shashijian，yizhenfenxiangpubierlai，lingjianghaoshaoweiyouxiexinhuang，chulezhangqianqian，tacongxiaodaodahaiconglaimeibaoguodiergenvren。
“nimeishiba？”jianghaowendao。
lingshuangdonglexiazuichun，mingxianxiangshuohua，danqueyigezidoushuobuchukou，zheirangjianghaoyouxiebuzhisuocuo，zheishicheshangdewangminqianfaxianlebuduijing，taganjinxiachekanleyiyanlingshuang，jianlingshuangliansefeichangnankan，bianzhejidewendao：“jiemei，ni...shibushifabingle？”
lingshuanghuidabule，yinweitaganggangyunguoqule。
“jiemeibiepa，wozheijiusongniquwanrentang。”
wangminqianzhidaolingshuangbingfashisizhijiangyingwufadongdan，tachangshizhebalingshuangbaoqilai，dantayigenvrennayouzheimedaliqi？jianjianghaochuzhebudong，taqibudayichulai，nudao：“**fan，nizenmexianggemutouyiyangzhanzhebudong？kuaigenwoyiqibaotashangchea。”
“wozaizhongshenyici，wobushi**fan。”jianghaohenbushuangdedengleyiyanwangminqian，buguotahaishibangmangbawangminqiandejiemeibaoshangleche。
sheizhigangshangche，wangminqianjiuxianggefengpoziyiyangbutingdatadeshou，zuilimadao：“nizheigeshehuibailei，rangnibanggemang，nidezhuaziwangnamoni？”
jianghaozheicaizhuyidaoyuanlaishizijigangcaibaozheigenvrenshangchedeshihou，youshoubujingyipengdaolenvrendexiong。
“wojinggaoni，zaiganluanmo，wobanideshoukanle！”
wangminqianzhejisonglingshuangquwanrentangkanbing，suoyimeiyoushijianhejianghaojijiao，jinggaoyijuhoujiumashangqidongchezi。
“dengdeng，wohaimeixiache，woganshijian...”。
“xiagepiche，wojiemeizheigebingyimiaozhongdoubunengdanwu，nijiwoguaiguaidezhaoguhaowojiemei，tayoushenmeqingkuanglimagaosuwo，tingdaomeiyou？”wangminqianyibianmengcaiyoumen，yibianyongminglingdekouwenshuodao。
jianghaohentaoyanwangminqianshuohuadeyuqihegaogaozaishangdetaidu，yushitameiyoujiehua，erqiexianzaizheizhongchesu，qiangxingxiacheyebuxianshi，tazhihaobamuguangyidaonvrenshenshang。
gangcaitatingdaowangminqiantidao‘bingfa’lianggezi，zaikanzheigenvrensizhijiangying，youturanshuobulehua，haiyunleguoqu，bingqiecongshizhizhongzheigenvrenlianshangdebiaoqingdoumeiyourenhebianhua，tadenaohaizhongturanfuxianchujigezi。
歌舞伎面部综合症！
jinjiezhe，zheigebingdexiangguanxinxibianruchaoshuiyibanyonglai。
zheishiyizhongshijianjiqixishaodehanjianbing，huanzhetianshengbaixi、wuguanjingmei、zidaiyanzhuang，shuoshishangdidechongeryidianyebukuazhang，yihandeshi，huanshangzheizhonghanjianbingderensuiranyongyouzhequanshijiezuipiaoliangdemiankong，quezhiyouduanduanjiniandeshouming，zuizhongdejiejushibianchengzhiwuren，zaiganshoubudaotongkudeqingkuangxiasiqu。
quanqiumeiyouzhihaozheizhongbingdexianli，suoyizheishiyigebuzhizhizheng，danxianfumenquezhenghaoyouzhiliaocibingdefangfa。
suirantaburenshizheigenvren，danzaimingzhizijinengjiudeqingkuangxia，ruguoxuanzejiansibujiudehua，taguobulezijixinlineiguan。
shaozuochiyihou，tabianjuedingjiuzheigenvren...