第1章
洪武八年，应天府
“ye，kuaipao！bixiapaijinjunlaizhuaninle。”
“shenme，zheizaolaotouzifengleba？xiaoyebujiudiandangleneipoyantai，huanledianyinzihuahua，zhiyubu？”
“kanlaizhinengxiacizailaipinjianyishule，ai～”
budengdunangwan，shaonianbushedewangleyanjiaofangsibianyaokuaibuliuzou。
“dianxia，gangneitiaojiekandaojinjunle，ninzaibupaokuaidian，dengbeidaihuigong，yougaixiabulaichuangle！”
yishangfanwenyankanzhexiaozheduishaoniandiaokandao。
“niganxiaoxiaoye，dengyeyoukonglezaibaofuni！”
shaonianciyaliezuiehenhendao，daoyebulihui，congcongtaozou。
“ye，ninhaishixiancongbixiadeshoulitaodiaoba！hahahaha”
zhiyushaoniankouzhongdebaofu，shangfandaoyebudangzhen。huoshishuo，zhenggeyingtianfubaixingdouzhidaozheishaonian。
shaonianzishidangjindaminghongwuchaodedierhuangziqinwangzhushuang，suishichangchangzuoxieshireshengshangfanu，danshidaibaixingshenhao，youzhehuanghouniangniangderenai。
erxianzaidezhushuang，buzaishishishushangneiweibaonvehuangdandeqinwang，shi21shijiyigetaichuandeshechuniuma。
zicongchuanyuehou，zhushuangzheisijiumeishenmeanquangan，ertayezhilvelejiexielishi，youbuzenmedongkeji。
weici，zhushuangqiulehaoduonianchuanyuezhebibeixitong，jigudongyupeidiguoxue、shuaiguoma、luoguohu、shengguobing、zhetengzhuyuanzhangdengdeng。
zheixiefeiyisuosidexingwei，ranglaozhuyijiazigengshichongnizhushuang——wuta，
duigurenlaishuo，zheixiexingweixiangjideleyizheng
俗称：大傻子
haozaizhushuangzhetengmeijinianjiufangqile，chuguozhujiarenniangtailizidaidexingjundazhangdetianfu，yejiuzhishengxianeizhanglianbucuole，junyapanan，maolveshengyanzuyidiudiu。
～
“niang，jiuwo！wodieneilaotouziyaozouwo，bujiushunzouletayigeyantaime！ninkuaiguanguannijianeiwei，butingninhuajiubierangtashangnindeta！”
zhushuanggangpaodaokunninggongmenkou，jiukaishirangrangqilai，wanquanmeizhuyidianneichuqumahuanghouduoleyigeren
——朱元璋
laozhutingzhetadehaoererbuzhediaodehua，gangbeimahuanghouyaxiaquduizhushuangdenuqicengcengdewangchumao。
shuliandetuoxiaxiezinazaishoulibianbihua，bianyaoyaqiechidao：
“nizi！jizanguixia！！”
mahuanghou，duizijizheishaerziyeshiyinaomenheixian，landezaiquanzuzhuyuanzhang。
zhushuangdunshijianshaleyan，zhenxiangpaohuiqujigangcaihulieliedezijiliangdazuibazi。
‘rangnizuiqian，pashiyaowanduzile，zenmejiusonghuoshangmenle，ai。’
zhushuangyouyuandewangxiangmuhou，zenmejiubulanzhedianziji。
xinliniantaozhe，daoyeshunshiguixia，buguohaihuanxiangzhehuyoulaozhu，pei，zijiu，yushiyibenzhengjingdao：
“die，wocuole，buguoerziwoshiyouyuanyinde。”
“haierzheibushixiangxiaojingxiaojingninheniangme，buguofushangyoumeishenmeqian，meibanfachucixiace。zheibu，jiniangmaidegaodian，jidienimaideshaobing，doushinimenaichide。”
zhushuangshuozhebiandishanglesuoweidexiaojing，haizhabazheyanjing，youheiheideshanxiaozhe，kaomaimengqiqiutaoguoyidunduda。
zhishi，laozhuzhengzhengkanzhezijishoulisuoweideshaobing，
嗯？
很好，
好得很呐！
taniangde，jiushikuaibeigoukenguoshengxiadewanyi！
buzhidaodehaiyiweizangengouqianglaidechishi；
再看给他娘亲的，
shanghaodegaodian，haidoushitaniangde，pei，taniangaichide。
越想，火气越大。
yushiheizhelianyaoyawendao：
“zenme？yikuaishanghaodeyantaijiunenghuanlaizheiwanyi？haishigebeigoukenguodeshaobing？”
“die，woshuojingzhongwujiaguiledian，erqieneishaobingbenlaijiuneibanmoyang，bushiwochi，pei，bushigoukende，ninxinbu？”
zhushuangshanshanshuozhe，biankanzhezhuyuanzhangdelianse，bianqiaoqiaowangdianwainuozheshenzi。
“hehe，zankanqilaihenxiangshazime？haohuyou？”
“可不～”
zhushuangshunzuiyingdao，gangshuochukoucaifajuebudui。“die，wozhishishunzuile，yaobuxinxin？zheicijueduizhende！wofashi！！”
“he，xiaotuzaizi，kanda！”zhuzhongbanazhexie，jiuchongshanglaiyaozouzheinizi。
“niang！ninbiekanle，jiuminga！”yankanyaoaizou，lianmangqishenbatuijiuyaowangdianwaipao。
“重八，你～”
“haiganpao？meizi，jintiannibieguan，zanfeiyaohaohaoshoushishoushizheinizi！lairen，bazheinizijilanxia！”
mahuanghoubailezheifuziliangyiyan，zhuanshenqupiandianjimoutuzaizinawaishangyao，buzailihui。
yankantaijiangongnvduzhuledamen，mahuanghouyeqishenlikai。
zhushuangyeshidunshishayan，zhihaorenzai，douguaijingehuanglibuzhun。
haidaji？wopei！jinghuyouxiaoye！
zhuanshenkanleyanmanyouyouzoulai，lianshangsixiaofeixiaodezhuyuanzhang。
zhushuangsuijidunxiasuochengyituan，shuozhe：
“爹，别打脸呗！”
“zenmebupaole？ng？”
“guandaolaozihougonglaileshiba？”
“tounanilaozidongxiduoshaocile？haigannachiguodeshaobinghuyounidie。”
“haiganpaoqujiaofangsi？”
“nitnd，zenmebushangtian？”
bianshuolaozhubianzouleqilai，shunjianmourenkaishiaoaocanjiaoqilai，jiushitingzhejiuxiangxiao。
“niang！wotingjianwodiegangmanile！”
“啊～啊～”
“die，niguofenlee，bushibudalianme？”
“呕～”
zhushuanglianseshunjiantieqingxiaoxindunangzhe：
“nizheidexieweiyetaidale，niangzenmenengshouleni？”
......
shashijian，dianneiyipianjijing，meipiankeduanlianshentideshengyin、jiangde‘gaoge’zouxianglemeimiaodelezhang。
“zhuzhongba！nizaiganneimezhongdawoerzishishi！！daliangxiaxingle，meiwanleshiba？”
mahuanghoujicongcongcongpiandianganhui，tingdaoguaierzidecanjiao，dunshiduilaozhunudao。
“meizi，nigangbushimeitingjian，zheituzaiziduitadiemeidameixiaode，haiganxianqitalaozi！”
laozhutingjianzheinuhoushengyeshibuganzaiyoudongzuo，weiquduihuanghoushuozhe。
“neiyebuxing，neishiwoerzi，yaodanidaniqitaerziqu。”
“die，biedale，erdiyeshiwuxinde！”taiziqichuanyuyudepaolaishuozhe。
zhubiaotingwenzijineierdiyourefuhuangnuhuo，yeshiganmangpaoxiazhengwu，congdonggongyilupaolai，xianglanxiafuhuangdeduda。
“nimeiqianle，zhaodagea，youtounadiededongxi，niyani···jinshizhaozou。”
zhubiaoshuozhe，fuqiletangzaidishangdezhushuang。
“heihei，zheibushibuxiangjidagetianmafanme？kuangqie，wozheipicaorouhoude，buaishi。”zhushuangjiandagelaile，xipixiaoliandeshuozhe。
“erqie，laotouziyoubuhuidasiwo，youshapade。”jiezheyouxiaoshengdunangdao。
zhubiaoyeshiwunai，zijizheierdicongxiaodaodabuzhidaoreleduoshaocihuo，haipianpianaiwangfuhuangqiangkoushangzhuang。
yeshiduokuilenianghezijiduolanzhelexie，buranduoshaocidadoubugouzoude。
zhuyuanzhangkanzhezijiameiziyishuangfengmounudeng，youtingjianzijidehaobiaoer，yijinlaizhiguanxintadehaodidi，sihaobuguanxinzijidiebeiqichengshayang。
dunshiqibudayichulai，queyoubuganfazuo，zhinengyayaoqiechidengzhezheituzaizi。
“niang，dage，laotouziyouxiangzouwo！”zhushuangkanjianlaozhuneiyaoyaqiechideyangzi，lingguangyishandashenghandao。
laozhutingwenyeshiqidexiangtuxue，henhendekanzhezheinizia。
shuolaizijiyeshinamen，zheierziduitanianghexiongdijiemeidoushijihao，jiushigesanchawudenengqidetayayangyang。
“zhuzhongba！”“die！”