第一章废物女婿
“xiaohuozi，wobuweinanni，daochejingwubai，buqizhishaodeyiqianer，jintianyudaonisuanwodaomei，nijiwoyiqianwu，zheishierjiusuanzheimejiele。”
“我没钱。”
qintiankanzhemianqiandebaoma，lianshangdexiaorongxiandeshifenwunai。
weileduoxiaohaizi，takongzhizhedianchewangzuocekao，meixiangdao，zuihouquecengdaolerenjiadechezishang。
renjiazhengchangxingshi，zijiyitouzhaleshangqu，napashuopotian，tayebuzhanli。
“找你朋友借。”
“我也没有朋友。”
qintianmianqiangxiaolexiao，zicongwusuilijia，ershinianlai，nengsuandeshangtapengyoude，haizhenmeiyou。
wenyan，baomachezhuyouxienaonu，“jiehunlemei？jinijialirendadianhua，rangtamensongqianguolai。”
家里人？
ruzhuizhoujiawunian，zijigenpurenyoushenmeliangyang，ruguobeitamenzhidaozijichuanglehuo，pashishaobuleyidunlengchaorefeng，yihouderizili，youhuiduoyigebeirenchixiaodebabingba？
kanzhechemenshangbazhangdadeposunchu，qintianyaojinleya，zijichuangdehuo，zhongjiuyaoyouzijichengdan，chixiaobianchixiaoba，fanzhengzaojiuxiguanle。
zaitabochuhaomadeqianyike，yizhishouturananzailedianhuashang。
“zheishiyiwankuaiqian，nazheqian，gun！”
“pa”deyisheng，houhoudeyidierenminbizadaoleyinqinggaishang。
“zenmeshuohuani，gaodejiugensheichazheiyiwan......”
“啪”！
又是一叠。
baomachezhuhengleyisheng，xunsuqidongchezilikai。
jibianbukan，qintianyezhidaolaizheshishei，jingchengqinjia，haizhenshihaokuochuodeshoubi。
qintiantouludichui，wanyaofuqidaozaidishangdedianche，“zheiqian，wohuihaijinimende。”
“shaoye，ninzhidaode，womenzaiyidegenbenbushiqian。”
liuzheluosaihuzinanrenyankuangtonghong，zhuazheqintiandeshoubeisisibukensashou。
jingchengqinjiaweiyidejichengren，queyinweibudaoliangqiankuaiqianbeirenbichengzheigemoyang，zheixiaoxiruoshichuanhuiqu，tahaizenmejiaodai？
“shaoye，laofurenyeyouzijidekuzhong，haiwangninnenglijie！”
nanrenkukouquanshuo，qintianshitacongxiaokanzhezhangdade，kandaorujindeqintian，tadexinli，jianzhixiangbeirenyongdaozicileshubian。
“lijie？sheilijiewo？”
shenxiyikouqi，kanzhezheiweiduizijizuihaodelaoren，qintiannulishizijideqingxupingding，“woyebuweinanni，huiqugaosuta，dengdaotasile，wohuijitashangyizhuxiang，danjincieryi！”
taishoushuaituonanren，qintianfuzhetongyangposundediandongche，chaozheyuanchuzouqu。
guazaichebashangdelihe，hualetababaikuaiqian，erzheiqian，shitazuzuzanleyiniande，zhishimeixiangdao，gangconglipindianchulaijiuyudaolezheiyangdeshi。
musongqintianlikai，laorenzhongzhongtanlekouqi，“dongxidouzhunbeihaolema？”
“douzhunbeihaole。”houmianyourenyingsheng。
laorenweiweidiantou，“zaidengyigexiaoshi！”
qintianbuxinghuidaozhoujiadayuanmenkoushi，yijingshiyigexiaoshihou。
yuanyuande，qintianjiukandaolezhanzaidamenkoudenvren，zhangfapijian，shencaigaotiao，duobubudingdejudongzuyibiaomingtacishidexinqing。
“laopo，wohuilaila！”
zhouyanran，qintianmingyishangdeqizi，zhoujiadejinfenghuang，zaitajiehunzhiqian，baozhouchengshengxingyijuhua，sheiyaonengqulezhouyanran，houbanbeizizuozaijialishuqianjiuxingle。
ranhou，zhoujiaduolegeshangmennvxu，zheijuhuajiuzaiyemeirentiguo。
“别乱叫！”
henhendengleqintianyiyan，zhouyanranduoxiahezi，zhuanshenchaoyuanlipaoqu，dadadegaogenxieqiaodideshengyinqingcuiyueer，“nimaideshenmedongxi？”
“fangxin，jueduibuhuirangnishiwangde。”
wenyan，zhouyanranyaoyaoya，daxiaochaikaikankandexiangfa。
yanhuiyijingkaishi，shijianshanglaibuji，suiranzheigefeiwusannianlaiwusuoshishi，dandayingzijideshiqingconglaimeirangzijishiwangguo，jiuzaixiangxintayicihaole。
“dengxiazainainaiyanhuishang，niqianwanbieluankaikou，qitaqinqidouzai，jiusuantingdaoshenme，yejiworenzhe。”zhouyanranbuzimanlejifen，bufangxindezhufuleyiju，“haiyou，qianwanjide，biezaizhaoreqiyang。”
qintiansonglesongjian，“conglaidoushitazhaowodemafan。”
sannianlai，beirengezhongzhaocha，qintianzaojiuyijingxiguanle。
xingkuidaxiaocongfuliyuanzhangdadeta，zaojiulianjiuleyishenkuzhongzuoledebenshi。
liangrenyiluxiaopao，henkuaibianlaidaoketingmenqian。
linjinmenshi，zhouyanranzhuzulvshunlehuxi，pangbianqintianyouyangxueyang，chenshizhenglezhengshenshangdeditanhuoyifu。
“yanranlailea？zenmezheimewancaidao？”
“meikandaoyanranshoulidelihema？kendingshijinainaizhunbeideliwu。”
zhouyanranyijinmen，lijiyouzhoujiaqinqidazhaohu，changmiandunshirenaoqilai，zhiyuqintian，zhongrenxiguanxingjiangqihulve。
qintianbuyiweiran，zheiyangdeyanhuiduitaeryan，zhishitianbaoduzidechangsuo。
danlinzidaleshenmeniaodouyou，zhoujiadezhongduoqinqizhong，zongyouneimejigekanqintianbushunyande。
biru，zhouyanrantidaoguode，zhouqiyang。
zhouqiyangshizhouyanrandetangge，zhengerbajingdedixizidi，meicijianmian，zonghuilinzheqintianyidunlengchaorefeng，juqintiansuozhi，zheijiniantayudaodemafanzhong，shiciliyouliucidoushichuzitadeshoubi。
“feiwu，nijinainaizhunbeideshenmeliwu？”zhouqiyanglehehedekanzhezhouyanranshoulidehezi，buguobazhangdaxiao，moyanghaisuanzhongguizhongju，dankanmoyangzhibulejigeqian，“gaibuhuishilubianmaideba？”
“neidaobushi。”qintianyaotoudao：“lipindianmaide。”
dongxidequeshiqintianjingtiaoxixuande，buguocailiyouxian，genzhiwujiashangbaidegeshiyangdeliwuziranbibude。
“lipindian？”zhouqiyangwenyanhahadaxiao，shouzhizheqintian，“ninaozimeiwentiba？jizhounainaiguoshengri，niqulipindianmailiwu？zenmeshuobudezhaogejinxing，mailiangjianshanghaodejinqi？”
qintianxiaoerbuyu，tajibianshuozaiduo，zhouqiyangyezongnengzhaohuafanjita，genghekuang，zhouyanranyijinggentatixingguo，jintianwanshangbuyaoremafan。
guobuqiran，zhouqiyangwanquanmeiyoufangguoqintiandeyisi。
“kandaomeiyou，zheishoutao。”
pailepaibaizaizuixianyanweizhideyigetouminghezi，zhouqiyangdeyishuodao：“wozhuanmenzhaorendingzhide，chunjindazao，jiushijiuwan。”
“zhenbucuo。”qintiandianlediantou，zaiwuerhua。
shaoshuoduochi，tianbaoduzijiuliu，zheijiushiqintianjiexialaidedasuan。
zhanzaipangbiandezhouyanranliansegewainankan，jiusuantazaikanbuguanqintian，ketamenliangzhijiandeguanxiquezuobudejia，genghekuangjintianqintianhentingtadehua，wanquanmeiyoureshideyisi。
zhouqiyangyierzaizaiersandezhaomafan，jibianqintianwusuowei，zhouyanranxinliquemaochuyiguhuoqi。
“qiyang，jintianshijinainaiguoshou，bushiweilerangnixuanyaode。”
zheihuayichukou，buzhiqintian，jiulianzhouqiyangdoulengleyixia。
wairenbuzhidao，danzhoujiarendouhenqingchu，zhouyanranheqintianmingyishangshifuqi，shijishangquehemoshengrenmeishenmeliangyang。
jushuoliangrenjiehunsannian，shenzhidoumeitongguochuang，zhaoxianzaizheiqingkuanglaikan，sihushishihechuanwenlveyouchuru？
“xiaoran，nizheihuashuodekejiubuduile。”
zhouqiyangshoulianxiaorong，zhengsedao：“zhounainaiguoshou，yiniancaiyici，zheishihounibuxiaojinglaorenjia，haidasuanshenmeshihouxiaojing？”
budengzhouyanranjieshi，zhouqiyangjixudao：“woyedeshuoniliangju，zheifeiwubaimingshichiruanfandezhu，tameiqian，nidianfuyixieyexinga？e，wodaoshiwangle，zheiyangdeliwu，nimenpangxi，yenabuchulai。”
zhouyanranyinyajinyao，banjubianjiedehuadoushuobuchulai，pangximeijiameiniandeshenghuofeibuguojishiwanzuoyou，zheiyangdeliwu，tazhennabuchulai。
dingzhezhouyanrankanleyihuier，qintianturanqishen。
zhouqiyangjianzhuang，renbuzhuchixiaodao：“zenme，tingbuxiaqule？”
zhongmukuikuizhixia，qintianhuanbuzoudaotouminghezigenqian，“nigangcaishuozheichunjindeshoutaohualejiushijiuwandingzhi？”
“ganshenme？penghuailenipeideqima？”
qintianpielepiezui，“xianzaishichangshangchunjinjiagedagaizaiyikesanbaiershiyuanzuoyou，zheiyangsuanxialaidehua，jiushijiuwannengmaixiasanqianqiankezuoyoudehuangjin，zhehexialaiyejiushiliujinduo，suiranwomeijianguoliujindehuangjinduoda，danwojianguoliujindexiguaa。”
qintianshenshoubihualeyixia，youzhizhetouminghezilineigeshouxindaxiaodetaozishuodao：“shiwoxiahaishinimenkanbuchulai？zheitaozinengyouliujinzhong？”