chulejiudianhou，yingzhedangtoudelieri，caoyanzhangbujinmilemiyan。
taochushoujikanleyanshijian。
“2016nian，wozheishiyixiazihuidaoleqinianqianlea。”
gankaileyisheng，zhengbuzhidaogaiganshenmedeshihou，shoujituranxiangleqilai。
kanzhelaidianxianshishangxiezhe‘mushangdaren’sigezi，caoyanzhangbujinluchuxiaolai。
anzhaoxitongzhihouchuanlaidexinxi，tabujinnianqingleqisui，yuanshengjiatingyeyidianmeibian。
yaoshuoyoushenmebutongdehua，kenengyejiushidianshijuliderenwuluanrule。
qishixiangxiangyedui，nuodadeshijie，duoxiedianshijushangderenwu，sihugenbenjiuyingxiangbuleshenme。
接起电话。
“喂，妈。”
“chouxiaozinidaodifangmeiyou，wokegaosunia，renjiaxiaoguniangjipiaoliangxinggeyouhao，niyaoshiganfanggezi，xiaoxinlaoniangbani**dakaihua！”
相亲？
tadunshiyileng，suihouyaranshixiao。
zaishangdaxuezhiqian，fumushiqiandingningwanzhufuyidingbuyaotanlianai，meitiangenfangzeiyiyangfangzheta。
kezicongshangledaxuezhihou，taidulimajiulailegedazhuanbian，butinganshizhekeyizhaogenvpengyoule。
daxuebiyezhihoujiugengshicuizhetazhaoduixiangranhoujiehun，tamenhaochenzhehainianqingbangmangdaidaihaizi。
tingshuotameizhaoduixiang，xiangqinzheigexiangmuziranshishaobulede。
jide‘shangbeizi’tahaimeiwangouni，nahuiqucanjiashenmexiangqina，fuyandeshuoyougeanziyaomang，jiuzhijiejijujuele。
现在嘛....
jiranmeishi，neijiuqukankanbei，qimabunengranglaomananzuobushi。
“wokegaosuni，doushizhigenzhidideren，niyaoshiganjiwoshuayaoezi，xiaoxinlaonianghuilaidazhelenidetui！”
mushangdarenkouzhongdeshaowenayicaoyanzhangzhidao，shimushangdarendehaoguimijianpaiyou，pingshiguanxiqindehen，jingchangdaojializuoke，taziranshirenshide。
“xingxingxing，manijiufangxinba，wokendinghaohaoxiang。”
caoyanzhangnengshuoshenmeni，mushangdarenzaishangtouyazhe，youyoushaowenayidemianzi。
xiawu，yijiakafeitingli，yigechuanzhemisezhangqun，shencaiyaotiaodenvrenzoulejinlai。
ze，zheinvrentingpiaolianga，youqishencai，***detingyouguimo。
ruguodafendehua，shifenmanfensuan，qima9fen。
guanjianshiqizhi，wenrouxianshu，queyoudaizheyigurouhedejianyi。
“zheidagailvshigexianhuidenvren。”zaikandaotadeyichanei，caoyanzhangxinlijiuyouledingyi。
jiuzaitahaizaixinshangzhedeshihou，nvrenkandaoleta，zaitadeduimianzuolexialai。
“nihao，nijiushishaowenayijieshaodexiangqinduixiangba，wojiaogujia。”
顾佳？
yitingmingzi，caoyanzhangdunshifanyingguolaishisheile，zheibushisanshieryilidecongming、shanliangyoushangjindegujiama！
ruguoshiyiqian，takendingbuhuiwangdianshijufangmianxiang，danzaizhidaodianshijuluanrudeshihou，tajiushibuxiangwangzheifangmianxiangyebukenengle。
tadeduixiangbuyinggaishixuhuanshanma？
“nihao，wojiaocaoyanzhang，shi.......”
haimeidengcaoyanzhangshuowan，gujiajiudaduandao：“buhaoyisia，youxiehuawohaishiyaoshuoqingchude，woqishiyouduixiangle，danwobamatamenbutongyi。”
“jintianlaini，jiushizouyigexingshi，suoyi......baoqian。”
“yuanlaishizheiyanga，meishimeishi，qishiwoyeshibeijialibilaide。”caoyanzhangxiaolexiao，“buguo，buzhidaoshifounengqingnibangwogemang。”
“nishuo。”gujiameixiangdaoduifangyeshibeibiwunaicailaixiangqinde。
“henjiandan，womennengbunenghegeying，ranhouzaijiagehaoyou。”paduifangwuhui，caoyanzhangjimangjieshidao：“zheishiweileyingfufumu，bijingniyezhidao，yaoshiwomatamenzhidaomeicheng，zhihoukendingyouderangwoquxiangqinle，woshizhendebeiwobamajicuipale。”
“dangran，ruguoniyoushenmebufangbiandehuajiudangwomeishuo。”
“zhei.......yexingba。”gujiaxianglexiangzhihou，haishitongyilecaoyanzhangdeyaoqiu：“buguowoyeyougetiaojian，wobangleni，nishibushiyedebangbangwo？”
“zheiyang，zanmenhuxiangbangmang，wobangniyingfunifumu，nibangwoyingfuwofumu，zheiyangruhe。”
tagentananpengyoushicongdaxuejiukaishilianai，danyinweinanpengyoushicongxiaodifanglaide，meiquanmeishiyoumeiqiande，lianbendihukoudoubusuan，suoyitafumujuedegenbenjiupeibushanggujia，yizhijiubutongyitamenzaiyiqi。
zheiciguolaixiangqin，tayeshibeitabamajibideshizaimeibanfalecailaiyingfuyixia。
ruguonengyourengentahuxiangdayanhu，sihuqueshishigebucuodezhuyi。
“dangranmeiwentile，nibangwowobangni，feichanggongping。”taochushouji：“laiwomenxianjiageweixin，ranhouzaipaigezhaopian。”
jialezhihou，caoyanzhangzuodaoletadebianshang，shoufangzailetadejianbangshang。
gangfangshangqu，gujiajiulianmangqishenduokai，wennudao：“niganma！”
caoyanzhangyilianwugu：“dangranshipaizhaole，buranniyiweiganma？zongbunengzanmenjiupaigeputongdezhaopianjiunengpianguoshuangfangfumuba？”
“zaishuole，jiudagejianbang，youmeibiede，nimeibiyaofanyingzheimedaba？”
“wozhei......”gujiayusai，suiranjinjinzhishidajianbang，danwanyiyaoshirangnanpengyoukandaole......
“nishiyoushenmegulvma？”
“yebusuanshigulvba，zhuyaowonanpengyouba，ta......zenmeshuoni......”
caoyanzhanghuangran：“dongle，nishishuoninanpengyoubijiaoxiaoxinyan，suoyikenengjieshoubulezheifangmiandeshiqingshiba。”
“keshiniwanquankeyixiangentashuoqingchua，jiudagejianbangyangexieryi，buzhiyuchishenmecuba？”
huashizheimeshuomeicuo，danzijinanpengyoutazijiqingchu，xuhuanshanshineizhongfeichangjuyouzhanyouyu，bingqieyouxiedananzizhuyideren，yaoshirangtakandaoleshaoweiqinmixiedezhaopian，zhibudinghuihusiluanxiang。
jiantahaishiyifuyouyouyuyudeyangzi，caoyanzhangxiaozhebaishoudao：“haobahaoba，neijiusuanleba，benlaiyebushishenmedashi。”
yaoshuoduigujiameishenmexinsineishibukenengde，butongyuyingshidangzhong，xianshidegujiabujinshencaigaotiao，erqiegaiyouguimodedifangneishizhendeyidiandoubuxiao，mingxianshineizhongbuyongdanxinyihouhaizinaishuide。
gaoyanzhi、gaoshencai，xinggehaihao，xianqiliangmudianfan，tayoubushiheshangtaijian，zenmekenengxinlimeidiannanrendexiangfani。
danshuodaodi，yebuguojiushigedianshijunvzhueryi，xianshizhongbitapiaoliang、shencaihaodeyidadui，tahaizhenmeibiyaotianzhelianwangshangcou。
xianbushuoxitongdecunzai，jiusuanzhishidanchundeyouzheqinianzhongshengyoushideta，weilaiyehuiyipiantantu。
舔一个女主？
那也太LOW了吧。