第一章你不得好死！
binhushi，yijiazhongcanting。
gufeiroukanzhemianqiandenanzi，zhenggerenjianzhijingdaile。
zhei，jiushilaomasuoshuodeneiweiyeayideerzima，laomajuranrangzijigenzheimeyigerenxiangqin，youmeiyougaocuo？
zijishibushitajiaohuafeideshihousongde？
yanqiandezheigenanzi，chuanzheshizaiposudeyoudianguofen，junlvsedewaiyixideweiweiyouxiefanhuang，xiashenshiyitiaodagaibajiushiniandaideniuziku，yishuanglianjiadebaisehuilixie，yingshixidebianchenglehuangse。
gufeiroukanzheduifangzheifuqipadezaoxing，leidewaijiaolinen，baituo，xianzaidoushenmeniandaile，nigenwoxianggeqin，chuandegenjiaohuaziside，hanchensheini。
nijiusuanjialitiaojianbuhao，jiunengbunengshaoweizhaoguxiawodemianzi，maiyishenhaodiandexingtou？
buguo，gufeirouyebudebuchengren，zheirenkanzhesuiranyoudianhansuan，danshengzaiyangmaoqingxiuganjing，tebieshiduifangdeyanjing，canruoxingchen，ganjingdefangfoliangkuaibiyu。
“nijiushichulima？”gufeirourenzhubatuijiuzoudechongdong，yingzhetoupiwendao。
“shiwo。”chulicikeyeyoudianjidong，zheicitashoufumuzhiminglaichenglixiangqin，meixiangdao，duifangjuranshizheiyangyiweimaomeiyouyouqizhidenvren。
tachuanzheyitaocaijiandetidesuihuataoqun，xiuzhangdeshuangtui，guozheyishuangyourendeheisi，zhuangrongjingzhi，qingchunfeiyang。
zhangzhangdeheifapisanzaijianbangshang，yizhangfenliandaizhejiankangdehongrun，hongchunbaoman，jifuruyu，shencaifeichangbang。
zheizhongjipinmeinv，keyuanyuanbushicunlideneixiecungunengbide。
“nizhangdezhenpiaoliang，mianmianqiangqiangnengpeideshangwo。”chuliyilianzhenchengdekanzheduifang，zuihoushenzhizhijiezhanqileshenlai，“bieshuole，womenxianzaijiuqulingzhengba。nikan，woshenfenzheng、hukoubendoudailaile。”
“lingzheng......”gufeirouyitouheixian，nanadekanzhetashoulideshenfenzhenghehukouben，zheishenmerena，zijizheicaigentadiyicijianmianni，huahaimeilaidejishuoshangjiju，juranjiulazhezijiquchezheng？
这也太扯谈了吧！
erqie，tagangcaishuoshenme？
zijimianmianqiangqiangpeideshangta？
wopei，niyebuqiaoqiaonineifudexing，taofandeyebinichuandehaoba。
jiupingni，yenengpeideshangbenguniang？
benlaiduitadediyiyinxiangbingbusuancha，danxianzai，gufeirouxinlihenniwai，niqiongyejiubale，haizheimekuangwang，jianzhishiwuyaokejiule。
“nizheifubiaoqingshishenmeyisi？”kandaogufeirouzhouqilemeitou，chulidengqiyanjingdao：“nikanbushangwoshibushi？nizhibuzhidao，zaiwomencunli，xiangjiajiwodenvren，meiyouyiqian，yeyoubabai，wodoujijujuele。womencunguandenver，haikuzhenaozheyaojiwoshenghouzini。”
“pu！”gufeirourenjunbujin，xinxiangjiunizheiyang，haiyounvrenxiangyaojiajini，biezuomengle。
buguotaxindishanliang，burenxindajichuli，taqiongchengzheifuyangzi，yijinggoukeliandele，chuichuiniugujiyeshixiangzaizijimianqianzhengjifenmianziba。
“chuli，nikan，wodaihuihaiyoudianshi，shibushi......“gufeiroukanlekanshoubiao，zuochuyifuweinandeyangzi，yisiyijinghenmingxianle，jintiandexiangqindaociweizhi。
“niyoushenmeshi，wobangniquzuoba。”chulizixindexiaozhe，“zheishishangjiumeiyouwochulizuobuledeshiqing，shangjiutianlanyue，xiawuyangzhuobie，duiwolaishuo，doushiweibuzudaodexiaoshi。banwanshi，zanmenmashangqulingzheng！”
“我晕。”
gufeiroudanshoufue，zhijuedenaodaifanyun，zenmechelaichequ，youchedaolelingzhengdeshiqingle，gentaliaotian，zenmejiuzheimefeijingni，guanjiantahaishilaomaguimideerzi，lianjuzhonghuadoubunengshuo。
“bushiduodadeshiqing，jiubuyongmafannile。”gufeirounaizhexingzidao：“tianseyijingbuzaole，nihaishizaodianzuochehuinidecunziba，wandianjiuganbushangchele。”
“wobuhuiqule。”chulibanzhelian，yilianyansudeshuodao：“zheicichulai，woxiangjialichengnuoguo，ruguoqubudaoni，jiuyongyuanbuhuiqu。”
“......”
gufeirouyitouheixian，xinxiang，yaoshizheiyangdehua，neiniyibeizidoubuyonghuiqule，benguniangsuishuobingbushishenmetiaotizhiren，danzenmeyebuhuikanshangnizheizhongrende。
zheiyangxiangzhe，tayizhanglianyeshilengdanlexialai，“neisuiniba，woyaozoule。”
“等一下！”
gufeirouchediyanfanle，xinxiangzheirenhaiyouwanmeiwanle，nandaohaixiangduizijisichanlandabucheng，“nihaixiangganshenme？”
“你不得好死！”
“ni，nimaren！”gufeirouzhengle。
tameixiangdao，zijizhibuguoshibuxianggentaduoliaoxiaqu，zheirenjiubaolulebenxing，dangchangchukouchengzang，rumaziji，zheirenhaiyouyidiannanrendefengduma，jianzhijiushidipiliumang。
“niyaoshiganzouchuzheigemen，nijintianyidingbudehaosi！”chulizhidiyoushengdao。
gufeiroushenxileyikouqi，lenglengdeshuodao：“zheikeshifazhishehui，nixiangganshenme，nishixiangweixiewoma？”
“weixie？woshenmeshihouweixienile？”chulibujiedao：“wozhibuguozaichenshuyijianshishia，niyintangfahei，minggongxueaoxian，zheishidazaizhixiang，zhiyaochulezheigemen，kendingyouzaihuofasheng，erqieshibudehaosidecanliezaihuo。”
gufeirouzenmehuixiangxintazheizhonghuzhoudeguihua，lenglengdexiaodao：“meixiangdaonihaihuikanxiangni。”
“kanxiangsuanshenme，wogangcaishuoguo，zheishijieshangjiumeiyouwochulibuhuideshiqing。”chulibuwudeyideshuodao：“dangnianzaibudui，shouguandouzhaowokanguoxiangni。”
tingtayuechuiyuelipule，gufeirourenbuzhufanlegebaiyan，landezailita，laidaojutaijielezhang，jingzhichaomenwaizouqu。
“nishibushixiangsia，wodouyijinggaosunibunengxianzaichumenle。”chuliyibalanzaitashenqian，“nimenchenglidenvrenshibushinaodaidouquegenjin，wolaomagaibuhuishixianghaiwo，rangwogengenaozibuzhengchangdeshanvrenxiangqinba？”
“woshanimeia。”gufeirouchadianzhuakuang，zheishishangzenmehuiyouzheizhongqipa，yiqiandeneixienanren，nagezaizijimianqianbushiguiguijuju，limaoyoujia，baochizheshenshifengdu，xiangjinbanfadexiangzaizijimianqianliuxiahaoyinxiang。
kezheiren，wanquanbuantaoluchupai，chukouchengzang，yidiandoubuzunzhongziji，gufeiroudouyouxiehouhuilaigentaxiangqinle。
tayimiaozhongdoubuxiangzaikandaozheigeren，jiakuaijiaobuchaowaimianzouqu。
zuoshangzijideyilianghongsebaoma，gangfadongchezi，pengdeyisheng，qichezhouranfashenglebaozha，dunshihuoguangchongtian，zhenggeqichedoudanleqilai。
dianguangshihuojian，gufeiroumimihuhudeyouzheyisiniantou，shenshanghaoxiangbeiyiguliangliangdeqixibaoguozhule，xiayike，zhenggerenbianwanquanshiqulezhijue。