第一章搞黄相亲
“songyouyou，nidingzhesongjiadaxiaojiedemingtouzheimexienian，shigaibuchangwole。”
“zhiyaonibanchenglezheijianshi，wojiugenbamashuotongyinishangdaxue，burangnijiajijiangbingneigezaolaotouzi。”
erpanghuidangzhesongranshuodeneixiehua，songyouyouyaoleyaochun，dakaiyilaguanmengdiguanlehaojikoujiu，zheicaijiandingdituimenzoulejinqu。
——zhiyaobangsongrangaozalexiangqin，rangduifangdaxiaoyaogensongjialianyindeniantou，songranjiuhuibangtagenbamaqiuqingle。
songdonglinjisongranwuselegetahenkanhaodenanren，zhishitabuzhidaosongranyoutoutoutanlianaigenbenjiubuyuanyi。
rujincaiyouzheiyimeimeidingtijiejiechulaigaozaxiangqinzheiyichu。
tayuanbenbuxiangcanyuzheijianshi，zicongdangniantabeichachulaibingfeishisongjiahaizi，erzhenzhengdesongjiaqianjinsongranhuilaizhihou，tazaisongjiajiuhaowudiweikeyan。
songrangengshishitaweiyanzhongding，chuchuzhendui。
tazaisongjiajinxiaoshenwei，zhixiangganjinshangdaxueyuanlizheigejiaguohaozijideshenghuo。
kesongdonglinquebingbuxiangtajixudushu，xiangjiangtasongqujijiangbingneigewushiduosuidelaonanrendangxuxian。
她不要！
她不想嫁人！
taxiangdushu，yongyoushuyuzijiderensheng。
songrangentashuozhiyaotabangmanggaozalexiangqin，tajiubangzijigenfumuqiuqing，rangtajixushangdaxue。
weilezheigemude，tajintianyidingyaogaozaxiangqin！
songranshuozhaojiechuandeshiyijianheisexizhuang，daizheyanjing，kanqilaijiutingzhuangde。
songyouyousaoshileyiquankafeitingderen，zuihoumubiaosuozailezuozaichuanghubianshangdenanrenshenshang。
heisexizhuangdazhelingdai，daizhejinsibianyanjing！
就是他了！
jiuzhuangxiongrendan，songyouyoushenhuxiyikouqi，jingzhidabuzouguoqu。
yipiguzuozainanrenduimian。
dalaladishuangtuifenkaizuozhe，huanbaozhexiongkaozaiyibeishang，henbukeqi，“buhaoyisia，lushangyoudianduche，meidenghenjiuba？”
shuowan，tayibanaguonanrenmianqiandekafeiguluguluhelejikou，“kesiwole，hediannidebujieyiba。”
neixintahaojiao，zheinanrenhedeshishenmedongxi？zhongyaoma，zenmezheimeku？
tabiaomianzhengchang，hewantahaiyongshoumolemozui。
biaoxiandeyaoyouduoculujiuyouduoculu。
meiyounanrenxihuanculubuaiganjingdenvren，tajiubuxinzheiyanghaigaobuzaxiangqin。
takanzheduimiandenanren，zheicaizhuyiyanqiannanrenshuaidejingren，lengjundeqichangyuzhouweiderengegeburu。
gujiuyeyishenheisexizhuang，shuangtuidiejiaokansisuiyiqueyouxiandejinguigaoleng。
neizhangjunmeidelianshangmeiyouyisixiaoyi，cikeshensuidiyanmoudandandizhushizhesongyouyou。
很危险！
songyouyoutouyunyundehouzhihoujue，keshibugaizuodeyijingdouzuole。kuangqietajintianlaizheilijiushigaozaxiangqinde。
xiangdaoci，talimayouyingqiledian。
taguyichezhesangmen，“e，wangjigennijieshaole。woshisongran，jintianlaigennixiangqinde。”
shuowan，zhouweiderenbumandichaotakanguolai，tayouxiexinxudijiangdileyudiao。
tashangxiadaliangletayifan，“gennishuoxiawodeyaoqiu，wodeweilailaogongbixudechongzhewo，meigeyuejiwosanshiwanshenghuofei，bunengguanzhewo，shenmedouyaorangzhewo，haidetingwodehua，gongzikadeshangjiao。”
nanrenzuitaoyanbaijindenvren，tabuxinzheiyanghaibunenghetuita。
“jiuzhei？”gujiuyebeituranchuxiandenvrenzhengdeyouxiemimang，tingwantadehuaturanmingbaile。
zheigenvrenpashirencuoleren。
haiyifuguzuoculudeyangzi，mingmingneishuangpiaohubudingdeqingmouyijingxieluletadebuan。
tadeshouzhizaixigaishangqiaoleqiao，wanweidikanzheta。
turanyouyigedadandexiangfa，gancuijiangjijiuji，zhenghaojueleneixierendexinsi。
“xing，wokeyidayingnidetiaojian。zouba。”
“zou，zouquna？”songyouyouhaimeilaidejihuiweinanrendeshengdiaoduomiren，jiubeitaliaoliaoshuyuzhengmengle。
“去登记结婚。”