第三章 都是文盲的锅

guigendaodi,doushiwenmangdeguo。

liangrenchuzhongkaishitongban,quezaixiaoxuejiudaguozhaomian,mianqiangsuandeshangzhumazhuma。

zheidouyilaiyutamenzhudezheige“huayuanxiaoqu”,huayuanxiaoqulizhudedaduoshiguojiajiguanrenyuan。wangchengdemuqinshifengfudeshangsi,buguosuanbudezhishu。tongzaiyigexiaoqu,fumuhuxiangrenshi,yinianzhongzongyoujicishangshuzhaizaodefenglinlinyujianledoumaoliugoudewangcheng。zaichelibeishudewangchengkanjianlediaozhemianbaokuangbendefenglinlin。

ketamenyijiucongmeishuoguoyijuhua,zhidaoshangchuzhongdediyitian,errenzaitongyigebanmenkouyingmianzhuangshang,fenglinlinlengleyixiayipaidatui,zhizhewangchengdajiao“nininini!”

“wojiaowangcheng。”shuowan,wangchengzhuanshenxianyibuzoujinjiaoshi。

“woshifenglinlin。”fenglinlinfangfoshitaxiangyuguzhi,zilaishudigouzhuwangchengdejian。“zheimeqiaoayigeban”

“haixingba。”wangchengmeituikaifenglinlin,yemeizuoqitafanying。

anfenglinlindehuashuo,shisansuidewangchengjiushigezhongerbing。diyicijiandaotadeshihou,zhuaideerwubawande,daohoulai,haibushiguaiguaigenzaitapiguhoutou。

fengchengchengbuzhidaodeshi,shisanshisishiwusuizhenggechuzhongjieduandewangchengdoushigezhongerbing,chulefenglinlinsheidoubudali,chulefenglinlinsheidoubunengpeng,neijiushiyigesuoxiaobandebadaozongcai,zhengyigelengxuekuge。naiheliandanertianfu,shenhouconglaibuquezhuiqiuzhe。

suiranzaidiyitianliangrenhuxiangjieshaoguole,kefenglinlindenaozi,diertianjiubawangchengdemingzijidiudaolenaohou。fenglinlindedanaojiegouyeshiqite,tajuedezaiwenyicitaidiuren,jiuyizhimeizaiwen,yeyizhimeixiangqilai,yizhi“gemengemen”dejiaozhe。

zhidaofenglinlinyouyitianfazuoyebener,piaoleyiyanjiukaishijiao“wangxingnaerni,wangxingzuonaerni。”

zuihounaoleyitongxiaohua,fenglinlinmeixiumeizao,fanerzhihoujiuyizhibawangchengjiaozuowangxing。wangchengchuhuyiliaodimoxule,kezhiyoufenglinlinyigerenganzheimejiao。

houlailiangrenshangletongyisuogaozhong,suibuzaiyigebandanguanxicongmeiduanguo。

“jiangzhen,wangxing。neiyishengjueduishigeshuaige,yaowoyouqian,tiantianguahaoquchenmimeise,jiushipaiduitaizhemorenle。”fenglinlinzhouzhoubitou,fangfohainengwenjianyiyuandexiaodushuiweier。

“nidehaoyishengbukenengtiantianjinizuozhen。”wangchengtixingta。

fenglinlinchajuewangchengdefanyingyouxieqiguai,momingdiyouxiexinxu,buzirandichekaihuati“eiwangxingshujiayaobuyaoyiqiquxueche。”

“buqu。”wangchengcongxiaodadaojujuebeirenyixianggancuicongbutuonidaishui,tacongzidongshoumaijilitaochuyiguankeledijifenglinlin。

keleguanshangxiangshixunsujieleyicengshuang,youhuachengshuizhupilipalawangxiadiao,bingdefenglinlinyoutengyoushuang,“bukexueche,wobafeirangwoxuanyiyang,jiaqixuexishibukenengde,zheibeizidoubukenengde”

“ng。”wangchengyingleyisheng,dingzheshoulidekeleguanfadai。fenglinlinzhidaoshitayixianghuashao,bianziguzidijixutucaoqilai。

“nizhidaowomenbandelaolitouyouduojizeima......”fenglinlinzheigeren,haoxiangtianshenghelaoshizheizhongzhiyerenderenqichangbuhe,shuangfangshimizhineijiunenghuxiangjiancedaoeryinqibuliangfanying。tazaodahaolefugao,zhunbeihewangchenghaohaotucaotucaozheigepohaitayiniandexiaolaotou,sheizhigangkaileyigetou,bianbeiwangchengturandaduandutiao。

“nixiangquhaibianma?”wangchengturanwen。

“zenme,”fenglinlinjiannandibayongshanghoutoudehuayanlexiaqu,qiannusidebakeleguanniebianlejingzhundirengjinlajitong,“qingwoqulvyou?”

“去不去?”

“dangranqule,jiaoshanghaoxu?”

“xing,mingtianbadian,”wangchengturantingxiajiaobuwangzhefenglinlin,“jintianwoyoushixianhuiqule。”fenglinlinyigemeiliushen,zouchuliangsanmicaifaxianrenmeile。huitoukan,wangchenggulinglingdizhanzailubian,hunhuangdeludengbawangchengdeyingziladehenzhang,xiandeyouxiejiliao。fenglinlinxinlimeiyoulaideyijiu,xiangkaojinwangchengjiusuanjingjingdizhanzaitapangbianyehao,kewangchengshuo,“wozoule。”

fenglinlinzhanzaiyuandizhanglezhangzui,turanjuedezheiyikedewangchengshirucidenanyijiejin。“hao。”

wangchengzhuanshen,xiayimiaoquetingjianfenglinlinxianggeshaziyiyangzaibeihouchaotadahan“woshuowangxing,nihaizhenxiangpaoxiawoyigerenliua。”

......

fenglinlinbieleyixiawu,lengshirenzhumeijiayishengweixin,yizhidaowanshangshuijueqian,gumozheyishengzaizenmemangzheishihouyegaixiexiele。

ng?fenglinlindiankaidatu,yishengdetouxiangshiyigebaidiheizidemaobi“zheng”zi。neicangjingyoulidezijichongjinyandi,rangfenglinlinbujinweiyishengdezhengqilinranergandaozicanxinghui。

kanlekanzijitouxiangshangziyaliezuidexiongmaotou,fenglinlinhualeyimiaosikaoleyixiayaobuyaogaogeyishengqinglvtouxiang。

tadouxianghaole,jiuyigemaobizi“zhi”,heyishengdeheqilaijiushi“zhengzhi”,yikuaichuxianjianzhineijiushiqichongxiaohandidangrenxin,wanruojianglinrenjiandezhengyishizhe。

budui,fenglinlinzhuannianyixiang,“zhi”zheigezihetadeqizhibufu,buxiangyangbuxiangyang。zongbunengxie“wan”ba,neihaijiaoshaqingtou,fenglinlinnaozilihusiluanxiangzhe,shunshoujiangyanzhengxinxigaicheng“fenglin”jiufalechuqu。

yishengyinggaihaijidetaba,fenglinlinbuquedingdixiangzhe,cao,fachengfenglinle,fenglinlinmengranfanyingguolai。

zheidaobuguaifenglinlin,handiezidemingzizongxiandewenwankeaiyixie,xinxin、lingling、tingtingzhurucileidadoushinvxingdemingzi。

jiashangfenglinlinxiaoshihouzhangdepoweiqingxiu,jiefanglinjujianmiandouhuikuayiju,zheixiaoguniangzhangdezhenguai,xiaoxuebanshanghuaixinyandenanshengyegenzaihoutouzhijiao“linmeimeilinmeimei”。xushizheigeyuanyin,fenglinlindaxiaoxingzijiugewaideye。

daohoulai,fenglinlinjieshaodeshihousuoxingjiubadierge“lin”ziqule。

kezheixieyishengyoubuzhidao,yishenghuibuhuizhijiebatajule,fenglinlinaonaodifangeshen,juqishoujifadai。

“ying——”shoujituranjiaochendidoudongyixia,fenglinlinjingdeshouyisong,rutongbanzhuanyiyangdeshouji“pa”dezazailianshang。

tengtengtengteng,fenglinlintongkudiwuzhubiliangshashimaochulejidishengliyanshui。

“?”duifangfalaiyigewenhao。

zheiyetaijianjieledian,fenglinlinfufei,huilegedetuomaoshiyidexiongmaotou。

yishengguixing?yishengdanshenma?yishengxiuxilema?woshijintiandiaoxinideneigeyangouwanqi。cao,tagaishuosha?

taikeqixinlibieniutaiqinmiyouxiandefenglinlinjikenannai,zhenzhuobantian,fenglinlinhuidao,

“hahahahahahahahayishenghahahahahahahahawoshijintianxiawunindehuanzhefenglinlinhahahahahahage。”

……