第五章到底谁有病
lijikaideyaoqiu，rangsiyanyishenghexiexiaoxiedouchileyijing。
siyanyishengdao：“nixianzaizheiyangdeqingkuang，haibuwending，zuoweiyisheng，woshibujianyinichuyuande。”
lijikaiyaotoudao：“keshiwozhuyuanyezhishibaoshouzhiliao，changguiyongyao，wanquanbunenggenzhibingzao。erqieniyejianchahenduobianle，zhidaowoshentigexiangjidoushilianghaode，yuqirangwozaizheierlangfeishijian，nihaiburunayaojiwo，rangwohuijiaanshifuyong！”
siyanyishengbuzhigaizenmefanbotadehua，yinweitashuodedoushishishi，zhuyuanzhendejinjinzhinengbaoshouzhiliao。chufeiyoushoushudejihui，keshiyiyuandetiaojianyushuiping，meiyouzheigechufei！
lijikaijixuzhunzhunshanyoudedao：“yexufuyaoyiduanshijianhou，wonaoganlidexuezhongjiuzixingxishoule，buzaiyaposhenjing，ranhouwojiubayiqiedoujiqilaileni！”
siyanyishengdao：“zheiyangdejilvshihenxiaode，jibenbukeneng！”
lijikaidao：“jilvqueshihenxiao，kewoyuanbenjiumeiyoujilvhuozhea！”
四眼医生：“……”
lijikaichengkendao：“yisheng，qingpizhunwochuyuan！”
siyanyishengyaotoudao：“wobunengpizhun，yinweinizheiyangdeqingkuangwoyaoshipizhunchuyuan，neichuleshenmewenti，wobixufuzerende。”
lijikaitaiduqiangyingdedao：“neiwozhinengqiangxingchuyuanle！”
zhuyuan，bingbushizuolao，bingrenshikeyizixingchuyuande，danshiyaojingguoshouxu，xuyaobingrenqianzibaozheng，yiyuancaihuiyunxubingrenlikai。
siyanyishengwanquanmeiyoulijikaidebanfa，yinweizheigerensuiranshiyile，keshisuozhangwodeyixuezhishiwanquanburuoyuta，lianchuyuanhouyaochishenmeyao，chiduoshao，chiduojiu，shenmeshihoufuchadouyiqingerchu，suoyizuizhongwunaiderangtaqianzibaozheng，ranhoucaijiangjiesuandanjujiaojixiexiaoxie！
xiexiaoxiezhunbeiqubanchuyuanshouxuzhiqian，renbuzhuyouhuidaobingfang，“neigeshei……”
lijikaidao：“nikeyizanshijiaowolijikai！”
xiexiaoxiekuxiaodao：“kezheibingbushinidemingzia，shiwoluanqide。”
lijikaidao：“meiguanxi，wotingxihuanzheigemingzide，jikaijikai，jizhukaixindeshiqing，wangdiaoneixiebuyukuaidecengjing。”
xiexiaoxiewunaidedao：“haoba，lijikai，niquedingzhendeyaochuyuanma？”
“shide！”lijikaidiantoudao：“liuzaiyiyuanduiwodebingqingbingmeiyoushenmebangzhu。”
xiexiaoxiedanyoudedao：“keshinixiandezheiyangdeqingkuang……”
lijikaiburongzhiyidedao：“woyijingjuedingle。”
xiexiaoxiekanxiangta，faxiantadeyanshenjiandingyouzhizhe，wanquanmeiyoushangliangdeyudi，zhihaoqujitabanchuyuanshouxu。
huilaideshihou，faxiantajingranyouchuanhuilezhuyuanqiandeneishenpolanyifu，tajiubuyouzhoumeidao：“nizenmeyoubazheishenyifuchuanshangle？duozanga！”
lijikaidao：“yaoburanzenmeban？yiyuanyebuhuirangwochuanzhebinghaofuchuyuanba！”
xiexiaoxiexiangxiangyeshi，wunaidedao：“haoba，yihuierchuquhouwojinimaitaoyifu。”
lijikaidezuichundongledong，buguozuizhongmeiyoubahuashuochulai，buguanyiqiandetashishenmeyangderen，kexianzaidetabingbuxihuanbierendelianminyukuizeng！
rangxiexiaoxietitataoleneimeduozhuyuanzhiliaofeiyong，tayijingfeichangguoyibuqule，xiangzheyaozenmezhengqianhaijitani！
chuleyiyuandamenhou，liangrenmomodebingjianchaoqianzou，buguohuafengshifenguiyi！
yigeqingchunshishang、guangxianjinglidejipinmeinvheyigechuandepopolanlan，hailalatatadenanrenzouzaiyiqi，jinjinzhishishijueshangjiujirenqiangliedefancha，suoyiyilushangbushaorenduitamencemuershi，zhizhidiandiandeyilunfenfen。
xiexiaoxiemeiyouzhuyidaopangrendemuguang，tazaixiangzhezijidexinshi，queqiedeshuoshizaixiangzheruheanpailijikai。
rangtaquzhujiudian？bu，tadeyiliaofeiyongyijingtaokongletadeqianbao，tashizaimeinenglizaifudantabiedekaixiaole！
neibatadaihuizijidejia？gengbuxing，suiranshuolijikaixianzaihaishigebingren，kehaodaitahaishigenanren。takeshiyigerendujude，nannvgongchuyishi，nvhaibiyousunshini！
neidaodigaizenmeban，jiuzheiyangrengxiatabuguanma？talianzijishisheidoubuzhidao，ziranyemeiyoukequdedifang，nanbuchengyourangtahuidaojieshangquliulang？
ruguobugentafenkai，neiyouzenmeban，nandaozijijiuzheiyangyizhidaizhetama？
zhendedaizhetadehua，zijiyaobuyaoshenghuo，yaobuyaogongzuo，yaobuyaozhaonanpengyou，yaobuyaojiehunshengwazuzhixingfujiatingle？
zhengzaitadanyouduoduo，jiujiebuyizhiji，lijikaiqueturantinglexialai，“xiexiaoxie，nijiwoliuyigedianhuahaoma！”
xiexiaoxieyihuodewen：“niyaoganma？”
lijikaidao：“womenjiuzaizheilifenshouba，dengwodeqingkuanghaoxiele，wohuilianxini，bazhuyuandefeiyonghaijini。”
buzhidaozenmede，xiexiaoxiedeqingxuturanjiujidongle，dashengdedao：“nishuofenshoujiufenshoua！nikaolvguowodeganshouma？”
ciyanyichu，zhouweidunshiyipianhuaran！
这一对竟然是情侣？
xianzaineigelatadeyaosidenanrenjingrantichulefenshou，keneigemeidegentianxiansidenvhaijingranbutongyi？
shizheinandenaoziyoubing，haishinvdenaoziyoubingni？youhuoshizheigeshehuiyoubingni？
meizhi，likaitaba！wotoudianpingcheyangni！！
lijikaijianrenmenfenfentingxialaiweiguan，zheijiujiangxiexiaoxieladaoyibiandao：“xiexiaoxie，nixianbiejidong。”
xiexiaoxiedengzheta，gaosongdexiongburengranqifubuding，xianranqingxurengranhenjidong。
zhishitaweishenmezheimejidongni？yinweibeilijikaidehuachuozhonglexinzhongxianshihaidaizheyinandeyimian，suoyinaoxiuchengnu？
lijikaishifentanchengdedao：“wodeshiyizheng，bingbushiyinweijiunierzaochengde。zaijiunizhiqian，wojiuxiangbuqilaizijishisheile，wozhisuoyihuichushoujiuni，zhishiyinweinihanlelijikai，woyiweilijikaijiushiwodemingzi，nigenwoyouguanxi！yaoburanwoyebuhuiguannide。”
xiexiaoxiedao：“wo……”
“nixiantingwobahuashuowan！”lijikaijixudao：“wosuiranjiuleni，keshinibawosongjinleyiyuan，haiweiwotaolezhuyuanfei，shenzhiyouzaibingchuangqianzhaoguwo，yijingsuanshirenzhiyijin，bubizaiganjuekuijiushenmede，womenyijingchepingle，suoyiwozaizheilifenshouba！”
renxinhuanrenxin，nizhenwojiuzhen，weicengqingpinnanzuoren，bujingdajiyongtianzhen，chengshubuguoshanyuyinzang，cangsangzhishiwuleiyoushang！ruguolijikaibushuozheixietuixinzhifudehua，ershijiucilaishangchanshangtadehua，tahuoxuhuiqianyanbaijidexiangyaobaituotade！
zhishinvrendoushiganxingduoyulixingdedongwu，tadezheiyifanhua，chedijizhongletadeneixin！
nanren，zuinannengkeguidebushishuaiqi，bushicaihua，ershizhencheng！dangran，ruguoqianmianliangyangyeyoudehuajiugenghaole。
“lijikai，keyilundaowoshuolema？”
lijikaidao：“nishuo！”
xiexiaoxiedao：“suirannibuzhidaozijishishei，woyetongyangbuzhidao，kewoyijingkanchulaile，nishigehenyouguqidenanren，buyuanyirangbierentongqing，gengbuyuanyijieshoubierendeshishe，danyoudeshihou，guqishibunengdangfanchide，dazhangfubixudenengqunengshencaixing，nixianzaigenbenmeiyouluojiaodedifang，yemeiyourenshideren，weiyiyigesuanshirenshinideren，neijiushiwo！”
lijikaidao：“wo……”
xiexiaoxiemuguangxilidezhishizhetadao：“nichengrenwoshuodeshishishima？”
lijikaiwunaidediantou，“ng！”
xiexiaoxiedao：“nichulerenshiwo，nihaijiuguowo。neimejiurangwobangniyiciba！”
lijikaiyihuodedao：“nizenmebangwo？”
xiexiaoxiedao：“wozanshixianguanzheni！”
李记开：“呃？”
xiexiaoxiedao：“dangran，wojuebuhuiguanniyibeizide，woyemeiyouneimedadenengnai！zheiyangba，zainimeiyougenghaodequchuzhiqian，woxianguanzheni！”
lijikaikuxiaodao：“nizheiyoushihebini？”
xiexiaoxiexiaodejiweicanlandao：“wojinjinzhishixiangyaoyigexinanbale。huoxunirenweiwozheiyangshuoyoudianjiaoqing，keshiwozhangdezheimepiaoliang，jiaoqingyidianzenmele？youdiangongzhubingyouzenmele？”
lijikaibeinongdewuyule！
gongzhubingdechengyinwufeiliangzhong：bushizhangdechoujiushiqiong！keshineixiezhangdeyoupiaoliangyouyouqiandeni？biedoule，neijiushigongzhu！
xiexiaoxiejiantabuzhisheng，zheijiupaibandao：“neijiuzheiyangyukuaidejuedingle？”
lijikaihenkeguandedao：“xiexiaoxie，nizheishizaizitaokuchini！”
xiexiaoxiemeilizheihua，fandaoshengpatafanhuiside：“jirannibufandui，neiwojiudangnidayingle！”
lijikaidao：“suibianniba！”
xiexiaoxiezuoyoukanlekan，faxiancebianyouyigechaoshi，“nizaizheilidengwoyixia，wojinqumaidiandongxi！”
lijikaidao：“haoba！”
xiexiaoxieyuanbenshixiangdaishangtayiqijinqude，ketayaomaideshinvrenmeigeyueyaoyongdedongxi，shizaibuhaoyisidaizheta，keshilinjinquzhiqianhaishiyouxiebufangxindedao：“nibuhuichenzhejinquzhihoujiutoutouliuzouba？”
lijikaizhilezhizijidao：“nijuedewoxianzaizheigeyangzi，nengqunaerni？”
xiexiaoxiehaiziqideshenchuxiaomuzhidao：“buxing，zanmendelagou，niyaoshiliule，nijiushixiaogou！”
lijikaitixiaojiefei，wunaidegentalalelagou。
xiexiaoxiezheicaizhongyuzoujinlechaoshi，buguohaishiyibusanhuitoudekanta，sihuzhendeshengpatapaole。
lijikaimeiyoupao，tajiudaizaichaoshimenkou，zaicisikaoqineijigefeichangzhexuedewenti：woshishei？wocongnalilai？woyaodaonaliqu？
jieguomeidengtaxiangmingbai，xiexiaoxieyijingconglimianchulaile，shoulilinzhedadaixiaodai！
“re！”tajiangjigedadaizidijita，“zheixiejinitizhe！”
lijikaijieguolaideshihou，shunshikanleyan，faxianlimianquandoushinanshideyifuxiewa，yihuodewendao：“jininanpengyoumaide？”
sheizhidaoxiexiaoxieyijiaojiutileguolai，chenguaidedao：“zhanwobianyini？”
李记开道：“呃？”
xiexiaoxiedao：“quandoushijinimaide！”
lijikaidao：“a！？”
xiexiaoxiezhizhetashenshangpopolanlandeyifudao：“nanbuchengniyizhichuanzhezheishena！”
lijikaihuangran，ganjidekantayiyan，xianglexianghouzheijiuzaishenshangxunzhaoqilai，zhaoleyizhenhoujiuzhaodaolezhiqianzuofanyizhenglaideyiqiankuaiqian，zheijiudijitadao：“zheigejini！”
kanzhediguolaidechaopiao，xiexiaoxieyihuodedao：“ninalaideqian？”
lijikaidao：“neitianzaiyudaonizhiqian，wodaleyixiagongde。”
xiexiaoxiedaposhaguowendaodidedao：“dashenmegong？”
lijikaizheijiubazijiqukechuanfanyideshiqing，gentashuoleyibian。
xiexiaoxietingwanzhihou，muguangdingdingdekanzheta，shenqingshifenfuza，bantiancaimenmendedao：“lijikai，nishiyizhiqiandaodishigeshenmeyangderenni？”
lijikaikuxiaodao：“woyaoshizhidaojiuhaole。”