第一章废物女婿
青市综合医院内。
“nikuaidianxingbuxing，rangniqugenwokanwoba，zenmejiuzheimenanni？ninengbunengnanrenyidian，chengshuyidian！”
jiangchencangbaidelianshangduoleyisiwunai：“muli，wobingmeiyoubuxianglai，zhishijintian......”
ruoshifangzaipingchang，tabuyonglajiulaile，danshijinriyizaotatingdaoyuemudadianhua，tidaotajintianyitianhuizaiyiyuan。
yuemubenjiuduitazheigezhuixubudaijian，ruguoyudaodingranshaobulemafan！
“jintianzenmele？nitiantianzaijialiwusuoshishi，laikankanbahaiyaoxuanrizima？”sumulizhoumei，mengdisakaijiangchen，muguangbingleng。
“bushi，wo......”jiangchenhuahaimeiluo，yidaojianlishengyinzhouranchuanlai！
“jiangchen？sheirangnizheigeyezhonglaiyiyuande？”
neishengyinyixiang，sumulidengshiyileng，dunshilianseyouxiejiangying：“ma？ninjintianbushizaigongsi......”
“啪！”
sumuligangkaikou，yuanchudenvrenzhouranzoujin，yibazhanghenhendeshuaizaijiangchendelianshang！
jiangchenbenjiuxuruo，beidadewanghouyiqing，xianxianzhanzhu。yingshengshengyaoleyikoushejian，meirangzijishiqulizhihaishou。
“ma！niganma！”sumulimeixiangdaonvrenshuodongshoujiudongshou！
“zheiermeinishuohuadefen，jiwobizui！”nvrengaoangzhetoulu，biyidedingzhejiangchen，lenglengdekaikou：“qingxinglema？”
“woshibushijinishuoguo，meiyouwodeyunxu，sizaijialiyebunengchumen！”
nvren，bianshijiangchendeyuemu，sumulidemuqin，liangmeiju。
zaitashenhou，haizhanzheyigemianrongbaijing，junqiaowubideqingnian，tahuanhuanzoushangqian，yiliankanrenaodeyangzi。
jiangchenshuangquanjinwo，yanzhongyouxuesichongchi，tazhengyaokaikoushuohua。sumuliquemengdilazhutadegebo：“ma，shiwolazhetalaide，hetameiyouguanxi......”
jiangchenhunshenyizhen，yanzhongdexuesishunjiantunqu。
“nijiwobizui！tayigegoudouburudeyezhong，jinsujiamenjiushiwuwosujiamenting！nihaititashuohua？”
“manibunengzheimeshuohua！”sumulizhoumei，“jiangchentashigeren！”
“shigeren？shigerenjiuyinggaitingdedongrenhua！dongdechumenshijiwosujiarenlianshangmohei，dongdedaizaijialisihourenjiushitademing！”
liangmeijunuhechusheng，kanjiangchendeyanshen，hekanlajiwuer。
“ayishuodemeicuo，youxierenzhenshibuzhidaozijijijinjiliang，shenweifeiwu，jiuyinggaiyoufeiwudejuewu！”baichenyinanzihuanhuankaikou，lengxiaodedingzhejiangchen。
jiangchenliansebingleng，mengdikanxiangnanzi。dannanzisishimeiyoukandaojiangchendeyanshen，jixukaikou。
“zaojiutingshuomulidaxuebiyejiujiehundeshiqing，meixiangdaojiehunduixiangjingranshigefeiwu。”nanzishuozhe，shiwangdekanxiangsumuli。
“muli，zheiyangderen，zenmejinixingfu？zhiyaonixianzailikaita，wolikeyingqunijinmen！”nanzishuozhe，taishoumoleyibasumulidezhangfa。
“fengziqiaoqingnizizhong！”sumulidengshitiaojiao。
jiangchenyelianseyihan，shangqianyibuqubofengziqiaodeshou。
liangmeijuquemengdishangqianyibu，yibatuikaijiangchen：“nixiangganshenme？nizhidaoziqiaoshisheima？nigefeiwu，jiziqiaotixiedoubupei！”
jiangchenwenyanbukezhixindekanxiangliangmeiju，shiliyanyebuzhiyudaozheizhongchengduba？jianzhibukeliyu！
“haiyounimuli！jiwohaohaoshuohua！”liangmeijuyuqiqiangying。
zhuanerkanxiangfengziqiaodeshihou，likexiaohehedao：“mulitabijiaobaoshou，nvhaizima，ziqiaobiejieyi。”
“wodangranbuhuijieyi，zuoweinanrenjueduibuhuiduizijidenvrenshengqi。”fengziqiaowenroudekanzhesumuli。
“woyinweitingshuoniyounan，likecongguowaihuilai，zhengqiaopengdaoleayi，bianlaikankanshushuruhele，meixiangdaozaizheiliyudaoleni。”
fengziqiaoyifupianpiangongzideyangzi，danneiyishuangkanzhesumulideyanshen，quewochuobukan！
sumulikeshidangchudaxuezhongsuoyounanshengdenvshen。
yuanben，fengziqiaodasuanbiyejiubasumulijishoule，sheizhidaobeijiangchenjiezuxiandeng！
dantahoulairangrensidixiachadao，sumulidaorujinhaishigechu。
dezhiruci，fengziqiaoshizaibide，tayidingyaorangsumuli，chengweitadesiyouwu！
xiangdaoci，fengziqiaoshangqianyibu，chushoujiuzhuazhusumulidexianxianyushou：“muli......”
sumulimengdituihouhaishimeiyouduokai。
“nifangkaita！”jiangchendangjiyibushangqian，quezaixiayike，beiliangmeijuyibatuikai！
“fangkaisheia！meikandaoziqiaozaihewonvertanhuama？budongdeshenmejiaobixianma？haibugun！”
避嫌？
jiangchenrenwukeren，yigunuqishangyong：“woshimulidezhangfu！nirangwobixian？”
“zhangfu？”liangmeijuchixiao，“neiyebuguoshizanshidebale！jiunizheibingyangzishenti，lianyigetaijiandouburu！”
“gongzuodoumeiyou！jialimangyidianbangbushang，jiuzhidaobaichibaihe！”
“xianzaijializheizhongqingkuang，nikankanni，liangepidoufangbuchulai！”
jiangchentingdemiansetieqing，dantaquewufafanbo。
rujinsulaoyezichuguoliaoyang，sujiadaluan，yuefutangzaibingchuangshangrenshibuzhi，jixuzhiliao，sujialaodachenhuodajie，bimulimaidiaoshoulideguquan......
liangmeijujixusihou：“wogaosunijiangchen，dangchunishilaoyeziqiangsaijimulide，xianzailaoyezibingzhong，womenjiniganchuqu，yemeirenzhidao！”
“nigunle，woliangmeijudenvxujiushiziqiao，nibubixiansheibixian？”
“ma！nizaishuoshenme！”sumulizhenjingdekanzheliangmeiju。
“muli，ayishuodemeicuo，wozheicilai，chulebangmang，haizhunbeiletiqindeshiqing，zhiyaoniyuanyiheneifeiwulihun，wolikeyingquniguomen！”fengziqiaoxingfenbuyi。
“bukeneng！wosidoubukenenglihun！”sumulinuhe，zhuaizhejiangchen，zhuanshenchaozhewaimianzouqu！
“sumuli！nijiwozhanzhu！ziqiaocainengbangnibaduguonanguan，niyaokanzhenibaqusima！”liangmeijuqifenbuyi！
“wobuhuikanzhewobasi，danwoyebuhuiqulihun！nizuihaosilezheitiaoxin！”sumulishengyinyouxiesiya。
zhuanshenlazhejiangchenzouchuyiyuandalou，tonghongdeyanzhongmanshileishui。
jiangchenkandexinzangnanshou：“muli，nifangxin，yidinghuimeishiwokeyibangmang，woyi......”
sumuliyidun，wunaiyixiao，taitouyishimanlianleihen：“ni？jiangchen，nizixiaowufuwumu，weiyideyeyeyijingqushi。”
“nineiyinxingkalidecunkuan，yanghuonizijidoukunnan。”
“womenxianzaidejumian，meiyouliangbaiwanwufawanhui，ninengbangshenme？nihuiquba，jintianshiwobudui，bugailazhenilaiyiyuan，haiyoutiwomanijidaogeqian。”
sumulizhuanshenlikai，mianrongyouxiemamu。
tayijingjieshoule，tayouyigeyiwushichudezhangfu。biedenvrenkeyiyikaode，zaitazheili，queshiyigexuyaotalaibaohude。
何其可笑？