第1章

“zhuazeia!youbiantaitoukuchazila!”

didoumoutiaojieshang,jianjiaohuapozhangkong,zeimeishuyandeweisuonanconghutonglichongchulai。

yigelaotaitaizaihoumiankuangzhui。

shenzhiyudunzailubian,zhenghaokandaozheiyimu。

tazhangkaiyingtaodakou,tundiaozuihouyikoubaozi,taishouyipaijianshangdexiaohongniao。

“嘻嘻,上!”

yidaohongguanghuaguo,xiaohongniaozhankaichibang,zhibenweisuonanerqu。

weisuonanhenkuaiwuzhelian,fachucanjiao。

“aaabiezhuole,wodeyanjing!”

shenzhiyuxiliuyikousuannai,mantuntunzouguoqu,taituizhaozhetade**jiushiyijiao。

nanren‘putong’yishengpazaidishang,menyakediaoliangke。

shenzhiyubatashouzhongdehongkuchazhuaiguolai。

houmiandelaotaitaizhenghaogandao。

“dama,zheishinideba?”shenzhiyubahongkuchadijita。

laotaitaiqichuanyuyudediantou:“dui、dui,shiwode。xiaoguniangxiexienia。”

shenzhiyuxiaolexiao,muguangzaitalianshangyizhuan,huranwen:“dama,ninvershibushihuaiyunle?”

老太太一愣。

“你怎么知道?”

taguinvhuaiyunyijingbageyue,kuaishengle。

shenzhiyulianseweining:“niyanweidaihong,meixinfanhei,shuomingjialirenyudaolemafan。ninverzaijiahualeyijiaotaiqidadong,yijingbeisongquyiyuanle。nikuaiqukankanba。”

老太太:?

什么鬼?

tashizaizhoutajiaguinvma?

laotaitaiborandanu:“nizheiyatouzenmeshuohuade?!”

“jiushi!zenmeshuohuade!”yidaonanshengcongshenhouchuanguolai。

yigeranzhehuangmaodenianqingrenbuzhiheshicoudaozheibian。

tashoulinazhe**gan,jiangshoujijingtouwangshenzhiyulianshangyidui。

“zhibojiandebaobaomenkuailaikan,zheiyougegaofengjianmixindepianzi!”

沈知鱼转头看过来。

shashijian,taneizhangpiaoliangmingmeidelian,haowuzhelandechuxianzaihuangmaodezhibojian。

zhibojiandanmushunjianzengliangyibei。

【wa!zenmehuiyourenzhangzheimehaokan?】

【tongxinjishou,zheimepiaoliangdemeizigandianshenmebuhao,jingranzuopianzi!】

【chenshao,chaichuanta!rangtajianshiyixianididouhaomenfuerdaidelihai!】

chenshaoyangyebeishenzhiyudeyangmaojingyandaole。

tazhanglezhangzui,zhengyaoshuohua。

shenzhiyuquehuitouduilaotaitaidao:“nikeyibuxiangxinwo,danwojianyinimashangjininverdagedianhua。”

老太太满脸不信。

quezaizheishi,tadoulideshoujihuranxiangleqilai。

来电显示——女婿。

laotaitaixinlimomingde‘gedeng’yixia。

tafeikuaijietongdianhua,haimeidengkaikou,nvxujiaojidekushengchuanleguolai。

“ma,tiantianzaijiashuaidaojianhongle,yishengshuokenenghuizaochan,ninkuailaididousanyuan!”

laotaitaidenaodaishunjian‘weng’yishengzhale。

tabukezhixindekanxiangshenzhiyu:“woguinv、woguinvjianhongle……”

陈少扬:?!

shenzhiyutanlekouqi,zaibaolitaotaotao,taochuyigehushenfu。

“bietaidanxin。kanzaiwoliangyiqizhuaguozeidefenshang,zheigehushenfusongni。rangninvertieshenpeidaidaoshengchan,tahehaizidouhuipingande。”

laotaitaidunshirutongtingdaoletianlai,yibazhuazhutadeshou。

“xiaogu……bubu,dashi!dashininshuodeshizhendema?wonverzhennengpinganshengchan?”

沈知鱼点点头。

laotaitailikeshuangshoujieguohushenfu,ruhuozhibao。

“xiexiedashi!xiexiedashi!dashiwoxianquyiyuanle,dashizaijian!”

laotaitaidianjinver,nazhepinganfukuaisulikai。

zheiyixia,jieshangzhishengxiashenzhiyuhehuangmaochenshaoyanglianggeren。

沈知鱼看了他一眼。

“看什么看!”

chenshaoyanggengzhebozi,yuqihenxiong,“gangcaideshikendingshiqiaohe。nizheizhongpianziwojianduole,shuoshenme‘niyouxueguangzhizai,vwowubaizhunidedaochengxian’,quandoushiyiyangdetaolu!”

shenzhiyuzuijiaochoulechou,shixianzaitalianshangyizhuan。

chenshaoyangbeidingdehunshenbuzizai。

“kanshenmekan!nandaowoshuodebudui……”

“nidequeyouxueguangzhizai。”shenzhiyukaikou。

chenshaoyangyizheng:“shenme?”

shenzhiyumeihuida,baheguangdesuannaibeidiujinlajitong,taishouyizhao。

“嘻嘻,走了。”

xiaohongniaobaweisuonanzhuodemanlianxue,xinmanyizudefeilehuilai。

“xixilaila,xixilaila!”

tatingzaishenzhiyujiantou,pushanliangxiachibang,heidouyankanxiangchenshaoyang。

“erhuo,xueguangzhizai!wanqiuge!meijiuge!xixi**dengsige!”

xiaohongniaoyizhangzui,jiurangchenshaoyangxueyabiaoshengdaoliangbaiba。

taluqixiuzi:“heiwoshuoni——”

“给你两个忠告,”

shenzhiyudaduantadehua,qingshengkaikou,“jinwanhuijiashichesubuyaochaoguobashimai。haiyou,buyaozounipingshizoudeneitiaolu。”

hualuo,zhangfaqingyang,renzhayanjianbianmeilezongying。

——

chenshaoyangzhibodaobangwancaifancheng。

tajiazhujingjiao,lushang,tayibiankaicheyibiangenzhibojianlidefensitucao。

“shuowoyouxueguangzhizai,haiburangwochesuchaoguobashimai。benshaoyewozheishipaoche!jiazhiqibaiwan!chedenghaixiangzuan!zheimeniubideche,bashimaitapeima?”

zhibojiandefensifenfenshuobupei。

chenshaoyangshuaileshuaihuangmao,hengxiaoyisheng。

“neipianziburangwochaosu,wopianchao!shaoyewomingyingdehen,caibuxintaneiyitao!”

shuoba,tayicaiyoumen,jiangchekaishangpingrilizoudeneitiaodao。

cishixiyangyijingluoshan,yesejiannong。

sizhoudeludengzhujianbianshao。

hunandeguangxianmengbilechenshaoyangdeshixian。

tameiyouzhuyidaolumianshangsamanleqiyou。

dengkaidaoyigedawandaoshi,fangxiangpanyida,shuliandewanleyigepiaoyi。

吱——!

luntaifachubutongxunchangdejianruibaoming。

lumianshangdeqiyoudadajiangdileluntaidemocali。

zaipiaoyidailaidejudaguanxingxia,hongsepaocherutongyituanshikongdehuoyan,‘shua’yixiashuaixianglubiandehulan。

砰——的一声巨响。

chetouzhuangshangshizhu,fangxiangpanshunjiandanchuanquanqinang,chenshaoyangdenaodaiwangshangyizhuang。

晕了。

——

likaineitiaojiehou,shenzhiyuyongdoulijinshengdeliangqiankuaiqian,qushangchangmailebuzhinengshouji。

tacongxiaowufuwumu,beishifujiandaotianyuanpaidepodaoguanyangda。

daoguanlisuiranqiong,danshifuduitahenhao。

chulexiaoshihououerhaojitianwangjijitaweifan。

ouershuiguotoumeijitahuanniaobu。

ouershuidetaisibahaizaiqiangbaozhongdetachuaixiachuang……zhiwai,daduoshushijianduitadouhenhao。

嗯,非常好。

raner,jiuzaiyigeyueqian,tashifuliangyanyibi,liangjiaoyideng,xiaquheyanluowangxiaqile。

linzouqian,taqixiweiruodedingzhushenzhiyu,rangtalaididouxunzhaomenpaidiushideshenqi。

tongshi,tahaijitaliuleyidabicaichan。

caichanjiuzangzai、zangzai……

laotouzizanglehaobantian,huameishuowan,duanqile。

shenzhiyuqideshiyuyanzhongjiantui,pingshiyidunwutiroubaozi,neijitianzhinengchisiti。

“maiwanshoujijiuzhishengerbaikuaiqianle,haoqionga。”

tazhanzaishangchangmenkou,fachupinqiongdetanxi,“suanle,xianzhaogexiaolvdianzhuxia,ranhouxiangbanfazhuanqianba。”

hualuo,shangchanggebihutonglihuranchuanchujidaoqilidejianjiaosheng。

“jiuminga!shaguile!kuaipaokuaipao,zaibupaojiuyaozaisiyicila!”

jizhiguiguikulanghaodeconghutonglicuanchulai。

guidekushenghencier,putongrentingbudao,shenzhiyuquebeichaodenaoguaziwengwengde。

她收起手机走过去。

“出什么事了?”

zhengzaijianjiaodeguijiandaota,bufayidun:“ei?ninengkandaowomen?”

shenzhiyu:“woshitianshi。”

“哦天师啊,”

guimanlebanpai,caifanyingguolai,“aaaaatianshi!shitianshi!”

guizuipatianshi,likesayaziwangwaitao。

ketaodaoyiban,tayouturanfanhuilai,kuaisushuodao,“hutongliyougenanrenhunmile,mantiandeziqi,haotamaheren!aaaatianshinikuaijiaojiuhuche,woxianpaole!”

shuowan,guihuosutaoli,shengpabeishenzhiyuzhuadao。

shenzhiyuwuyudechoulechouzuijiao,taijiaozoujinhutong。

dandandeziqizaihutongzhongmiman,suizheyibubuzoujin,ziqizhujianbiannong,yinyunzhengpianyese。

“wolegelaotiannai——”tarenbuzhudaoxiyikouliangqi,“yuhuangdaditoutaile?zenmehuiyouzheimenongdeziqi?!”