第1章奔丧
minjianchangshuodemojinxiaowei、tufuzi、chuanshanjia、tupaozi、dixiandeng，jieshizhidaomuzei，zoudeshiyinyangliangjiedeyoumingdao，gandeshibaorenzufendequedegoudang，weideshimojinxunqishengguanfacai。kezheifencaibingbushirenrennengranzhi，gumuzhongcongbuquesharendejiguan，bijiguangengkepadeshigumuzhongneixiekexueyongyuanwufajieshideguiyishier。
neiniandeqiutian，wohuicunbensang，hehaoxiongdixiaowei、kaoguxueboshiliudi，kaishileyilianchuanliqiguiyi、feiyisuosidegumutanxianzhilv。
&
wojiaoliuyang，zujiwanbeiyigemingyuexiaozhoucundecunluo，1986niannongli7yue15rishengren，yourenshuoneitianershiguijie，chushengdehaiziyinqidoubijiaozhong，shiyijiafubianjiwoquleyige“yang”zichongsha。
huoxushiwominggetaiyin，chusanshi，jiafujiamuzaiyichangchehuoshiguzhongxiangjiqushi。chuzhongbiyehouwobiansuizhecunliderenlenanfangdagong，zaigongdishanghunjiyinianyouyu，ganshangdongjizhengbing，bianhuixiangruwu，zaixinanmoujunquzuolesanniandatoubing，tuiyihouzhanzhuandaolehangzhou，zaiyizuodashadangleduoniandebaoanduizhang。
2015nian，wo29sui，yishiwucheng，wuchewufangwunvren。
zheiyiniandeguoqing，wojiedaolecunlidayeyedalaidedianhua，shuolaozunainaiguoshile，yushiwoqianlibensang，mabutingtideganwangneigeshuxiyoumoshengdejiaxiang。
zuoshangcongxianlikaiwangzhenlidexiaobache，wonachushoujijixiridehaoyouliuweidalegedianhua，rangtaqimotuochedaozhenlijiewo。
guashangdianhuahou，wangzhechechuangwaiyijingyirengaodeyumidi，xinzhonggankaiwanqian。
zicongbamaqushi，shiduonianguoqule，wohaoxiangzhihuilailesansici，zheigecengjingdegutufangfobianweileyixiang。
cikedewo，haibuzhidaozheiyitanghuicunbensang，fashenglexuduoshiliaoweiji、feiyisuosideshier。gaibianlewo、haoxiongdiliuwei、kaogunvboshiliudisangerenyishengdemingyun。
xianlidaozhenliyouhaojishili，dianbodexiaobacheqimayaokai40duofenzhongcainengdaoda，wuliaodewo，congbeibaolitaochuleyibenwuzifengmiandegushu，dakaifeiye，shangshu“mizang”erzi。
shuodaocigushu，yaozhuisudaowunianqian。
wunianqiancunlixiulu，wojialaozhaizaiguihuashang，zheibengushushidangshiwohuiquzhenglilaozhaishi，congyeyeshengqianshuizhedechuangdixiadeqiangbijiacenglizhaodaode，yongjicengyoububaoguozhe，jishinianguoquyijiubaocunwanhao。
mizanggushuzhongdewenzidoushifantizi，woxuelibugao，zhinengkandongqiqibaba，limianjizaideshiqingwukanyu、yinyangfengshui、xunlongdianxuezhishu，haiyouyixiegechaogedaidemizangfengsu、gumujiguan、zongzishibiandeng。
xiaoshihouzaicunlitinglaozunainaishuoqiguowodejiazulishi，wodetaiyeyeliuzhangqingshiwanqingdejuzi，houzaixianyazuozhubu，xinhaigemingzhihoujiuhuilexiang，kailejiansishujiaoshuyuren。
minguo7nian，cunlifalehonglao，suihoubianshijiwen，silehaoxieren，taiyeyechadiansizaineichangwenyizhong，xingdeyiyoufangdaoshiluguo，yongpianfangjiutayiming。
qihoutaiyeyebianyizhigenzheneiweidaoshixingzoujianghu，youlitianxia，shiduonianhoucaihuidaocunli，qulegebicunyigexingtiandeguafu，zaishilibaxiangjirenduanduanfengshuiyinzhai，shidangdiyoumingdeyinshi。
woshouzhongdezheiben《mizang》gushuyinggaijiushitaiyeyeneishihouchuanxialaide，houlaiyinweishehuifengqideyuanyin，youjinglilewuchanjiejishiniandagemingdexili，dajiazhixinkexuebuxinguishen，zuchuandezheimenguanshanwangqi、yinyangbaozhaideshouyijiuduanzaijiafuneiyidai。
fankai《mizang》gushukanleyihuier，buzhibujuedaolezhenshang，woshouqigushu，xialeche，yigeheiheizhuangzhuangdejiahuozhengyikaozaihongsedelingmumotuochebianxiaoyingyingdewangzhewo，kanzheneijiahuoqianchoudezuilian，worenbuzhufanlefanbaiyan。
neisihuranduanhedao：“tianwanggaidihu！”
woyijing，diudiaoshouzhongzhuangzhejijianyifudexinglibao，baikaijiashi，dao：“baotazhenheyao！”
zhuangxiaohuoshangqianjinjindewozhewodeshou，jidongdedao：“shinianshengsiliangmangmang，xiongdixiangfengleiqianxing！”
wojiekoudao：“tarifengyunzaiqishi，bingjianxieshoushangzhanchang！”
zhuangxiaohuonaguoyipingtaheleyibandekuangquanshui，dao：“xiongdi，zaixiazuijinshoutoujieju，weiyouzheipingjiuweinijiefengxichen！”
wotuiguokuangquanshui，dao：“zuocheyiriye，bangguangjishuiwentishangweijiejue，zheibanpingshuinixianzijiliuzheba，daiwocesuoxian！”
cirenbianshiliuwei，xiaomingjiaoxiaowei，shiwochiboheipi、guangzhe**zhangdadepaozexiongdi，jiashangwodayeyedenverliudi，womensangeshizuihaodehuoban，cengshicunlidesanjianke。
xiaoshihouyiqifangyang，yiqiyongniaohuoniba，yiqishangxue，yiqidajia，yiqiaida，yiqichuanghuo，yiqiaifa。
chuzhongbiyehou，yinweijiafujiamudouguoshile，wobiangencunlirenqunanfangjianzhugongdidagong，houlaiqudanglebing，liuweiyuliudizeshijixudushushenzao。
liuweigaokaokaoleliangbaifen，qulejixiaoxuechushi，taxianzaiheiheipangpang，kanlaizheidianshaodegongfubidingyousuozaoyi。
zhiyulingyiweiershitongbanliudi，taderenshengdaoluyuwo、liuweidedoubuyiyang。
gaokaoliudigaoleliubaiduofen，shiwomenxiandenvzhuangyuan，jinruleguorenyanzhongdezuigaoxuefubeijingqinghuadaxue。
siniandebenkeduwan，kaoshangleyan，ranhoushidubo……
woshuozheimeduoguanyuliudideshier，zhuyaoshiyinwei，wocongxiaojiuduitayoufeifenzhixiang。
对，我暗恋着她。
cunliwojiadelaozhaiyinweixiuludeyuanyinbeichaile，zheijinianwoyemeiyouhuilai，hexiaoweihaoxienianmeijian，rujinxiangjianbumianyizhenxixu，dunshizhaodaoleershidejiyi！
xiaoweiqizhemotuochezaizhewoxiangxiaozhoucundefangxiangshiqu，qidesudubukuai，lushanghetashuoleyihuierhua。
xiaoweihewoyiyang，zhijinhaidanshen，quniancunlisangujitaxiangguoyigeduixiang，doudaotanhunlunjiadedibu，xiaoweiweicihaitaojinjiacaigaileliangcengxiaoyanglou。buguozhenaiduomonan，liangrenzuizhonghaishifenleshou。
henkuai，xiaoweijiuqizhemotuochezaizhewolaidaolecunkou，fangyankanqu，yiqiandeqingzhuanwafangjihudoubujianle，daochudoushiliangsancengdexiaoyanglou，wodouyoudianbuganquedingzheilicengshiwozhangdadedifang。
xinxiang，cunlizheijinianfazhandedaoshitingkuaideya。
huidaocunli，diyijianshijiushiqulaozunainaidelingjiuqianketouyingxiao、dianzhishaoxiang。
yinglexiaofuhou，qishenquzhanyangbingguanlilaozunainaideyirong。
ranshaozhiqianlazhudecibiqiweichongchizhezhenggelingtang，fangzhizhezailingjiuliangbianyongzhihudejintongyunv，jirenyizhongyinsendeganjue，rangrenxintourenbuzhuyouxiefamao。
wozoudaolingjiuqian，kanxiangletangzaibingguanlishenchuanhualishouyi、shenshanggaizhedahongbeizidelaozunainai。
laozunainaicangbaidepifu，yugaizaishenshangdehongsebeiruxingchengqiangliedeshijuefancha，wodexingedengleyixia，huanghujian，wojingfangfokandaolelaozunainaikugaomianrongshangneiyishuangjinbideshuangmoumengranzhengkai，ruyaoyidehuyan，sanfachuyoulvdeguangmang，zhengyiyizhongguiyideyanshendingzhewo，manshizhouwendezuijiao，hailuchuleyisiguaiyidexiaoyi。
wonaodaiyihong，toupifama，zhiganjueshentiruzaodianjiyibanbushoukongzhi。
zenmeyemeiyouxiangdao，guoshiliangtiandelaozunainai，zaimifengdebingguanli，jingduizhewoxiao，jiuxiangshixiaoshihoulaozunainaizongshizhuzhelongtouguaizhangzhanzailiujiacitangqian，duizhefangxuedehuijiadehaiziweixiaoshenshoudazhaohu。
zailaozunainaiguiyideyanshenxiaoyizhong，wodejingshenjianjianhuanghu，buzijuedemanmanshenshoumozaibingguanshang。
jiuzaizheishi，jianbangshanghuranbeirenzhongzhongdepaileyixia，suijierbiantingdaoxiaoweishuxideshengyin。
“liuyang，niganmani，zoulazoula！”
woshenzidazhen，shunjianhuiguoshenlai，tiaojianfansheyibandesuohuileshou，dingyanyikan，laozunainaiyijiushiananjingjingdetangzaibingguanlingjiuli，shuangyanjinbi，biaoqinganxiang。
“gangcainandaoshiwodehuanjue？”
woxinzhongshaoding，buyoudechuaiceqilai。
shihuanjuehaishilaozunainaideyinhunjianwohuilaikanta，yushixianshenjianwo，woyeshizaishuobuhao，jianlingjiuqiandexiaoweiyulaozunainaidejiweikusangdexiaozixiansundoumeiyoufanying，yinggaizhiyouwogangcaikandaolelaozunainaideyiyang，huoxushilaozunainaizhishilujiwokanjiande。
wochuanlejikoucuqi，pingfujuliedexintiao，yebuzhishilingtangliranshaoyuanbaozhiqianqiweideyuanyin，haishiyinweixinzhongfachu，yihuoshiganleshijigexiaoshidecheshenxinpibei，fanzhengcikewoyoudianfanwei，xiangyaooutu。
heyiqunzailingtangkukutitidelaozunainaidexiaozixiansunshuolejijuhua，juedeqifenlingtanglideshizaiyayi，bianlazhexiaoweizouchulelingtang。
chulaihou，xiongmenzuooudeganjuelikehaozhuan，gangzoujibu，zhenghaoyudaolezhihuijiatingzhuangxiaohuomangshierdedazhi。
dazhi，shiwomenzheibiannongcunyigezhicheng，danfanshihongbaidashi，douyouyigejiatingrenyuanlaizonglingquanju，bianshidazhi。
zhuchilaozunainaisangshidedazhi，anzhaobeifenlaishuowodejiaotayishengsishu，kandaowohexiaoweiconglingtanglizouchulai，dazhicongdoulitaochuliangbaoshikuaiqiandehuangshanyansaijiwomen，dao：“liuyanghuilaijiuhao，henduorengumozhemingtiancainengdaojia，minggeerjiukaimen，jintianzhuduoshiyijiuyaokaonimenjigedaxiaohuozile。”
wohaimeiyoushuohua，narenshouduandexiaoweilikepaizhexiongfudao：“sishu，nijiubaxinfangzaiduzileba，laozunainaideshierzaozaiduonianqian，gaizhunbeidedouzhunbeile，youshenmeyaowomenbangshoudejinguanshuobianshila，woheliuyangbiedemeiyou，yishenmanlihaishiyoude。”
dazhidiantou，zhizhebuyuanchutingkaodejilianghuoche，dao：“lingtangbuzhideqiqibaba，nimenzhaojigeren，jintianbatiepengzidaqilaijiuchengle。”
wohexiaoweiyiting，dunshishaleyan。
zheidaobushiwolan，ershianzhaoxiangsu，baishinaishizuidadeshiqing，bijiehunhongshidouda，xuyaokailiushuixi。
womencunyoushifujinyoumingdedacun，sanbaiduohurenjia，dandanliushuixijiuyaokaisantian，xuyaoersanshizhuo。anzhaozheiguimo，qimayeyaodalianggejudadeliushuixitiepeng。
xiaoweidunshifanlefanbaiyan，dao：“sishu，nizheitiepengzainalizudea？budoushichuzuderenfuzedajiandeme？”
sishuzhongzhongdechuailexiaoweiyijiao，meihaoqidedao：“zainisanshujiazude，nizheichouxiaozihaixiangtoulanya，quququ，ganhuoqu。”
wohexiaoweidiaozhexiangyan，youyijuwuyijudeliaozhe，bangzhejiangyigengentieguantaixialaifangzaikongdishang，zhiyudajiandehuoer，wohexiaoweijiubangbushangtaidademang，zhuanmenyourendajian。
chouzheyan，wosuikoudewendao：“xiaowei，liudihuibuhuihuilai？”
xiaoweidiantoudao：“xiaogushi29nianqianlaozunainaizaigujingbianjianhuilaide，kendinghuihuilaide。duile，tingshuoxiaoguxianzaidoushiwazufendezhuanjiale。”
wopeileyisheng，dao：“nizhenmeiwenhua，neijiaowazufenme？neijiaokaogu！shiyimendaxuewen！”
xiaoweidao：“duiduidui，haoxiangjiushikaogu，xiaoguxianzaihaishiboshihouni。”
“boshihou？shayisi？zenmehuizaiboshihoumian？kanlaizheicijiandaota，wodepipingtajiju，rangtajinkuaikaogeboshiqianxueweichulai。”
xiaoweihahadaxiao，dao：“nihaishuowomeiwenhua，nizijimeiwenhuadoubuchengrenya？boshihoukebushixuewei，ershiyizhonggongzuojingli，tezhihuodeboshixueweihou，zaigaodengyuanxiaohuoyanjiujigoucongshikexueyanjiudegongzuozhiwu，yibanshizaiboshihouliudongzhanhuoboshihoukeyangongzuozhanjinxingyanjiuderenyuan。”
wojingruotianren，chayidekanzhexiaoweideyiqianchoudelian。
qidao：“nishenmeshihounengcongzuilizhuaichuzheimeyidaduankangkaichencidejiaguwenle？zheihaishiworenshideneigetancaihaose、buxuewushudexiaoweixiongdime？”
xiaoweiheiheidao：“guoniandeshihou，xiaoguhuilai，wotingshuotashiboshihoule，yerangtabiezongshiqujurenhou，youjihuiyewangqianmianfazhanfazhan，zheiduanjiaguwenjiushitadangshifanzhebaiyanduiwoshuode，woxianzaidouhaimeiyougaoqingchuzheiduanhuadeyisini。”
wohuangrandawu，yuanlaishiliudishuode，haiyiweijinianbujian，xiaoweizheisiwenhuashuipingjianzhangni，kanlaishiwoduoxinle。