我捡了一块玉
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【yi!wojiushuoba,jianguoyihoubuxuchengjingdoushijiade!】
更有网友怒评
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01
【ladiesandgentlemen,thisisanurgentannouncement.
nvshimen,xianshengmen,xianzaifayitiaojinjitonggao。】
【achinesejadesculpturehasgonemissingfromthebritishmuseum.......
dayinbowuguanneishizongleyikuailaizizhongguodeyudiao.........】
......
shoujihejietoudedaguangbolitongshifachuleheshazhuyibandejinjigaoshi,chaoderenerduofahuang。
shuadaozheitiaobobaoshi,wohaizailundunjietoumanwumudedicitywalk。
无所谓,我会出手。
wozhijiejizheitiaoremenbobaodianlegezan,jianzhuanfaweixinqunfengkuanganshuang。
【zundujiadu!jiarenmensheidonga,wojuedetoudongxizheirenruguoshiyoujunneitazhenpeixiangtaimiao!】
qunyoutongyangyifentianyingdimaopaohuiying
【woxuanbu,tajiushiwojintiandedianzizhacaile,che,zheiqunyangrenqiangdaozaogaisile!】
yi,zhishuxiongyi,zhenshiyijuyouyadehuaxiahua。
jiuzaiwohaichenjinzaizheixianyanbaodelizhishijizhongshi,mianqianqueturanweiduleyiqunjiroufadadeyangren**。
danshiyikanjiubushishenmehaoren,sheijiahaorendaojianduizhewoa!
kanzheduifanglingtouguojitongyongdeganrenshoushi,womingbailetamendemude,danshizhongjiuzuibinaozikuaileyibu。
【jieqiankeyi,womenzhongguoyougechuantongshidishuizhiendangyongquanxiangbao,wojienimenyimaoshi,qingnimendaoshihouhaiyibai。】
zaiyishengyouyadefackguohou,wocongcongrongdecitywalkbianchengleshenhougenyiqun**,jinghuangshicuodezaijietoushucuan。
haoqiaobuqiao,zaishucuandeguochengzhongwokanjianguaijiaochuyouyigebaisebumingwutiyeyijingrendesudujinghuangshicuodichaowozheibianpaolai。
【啊!】
【哎呀!】
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yikanjianwojiujinjindibaozhe,shenmehuayebushuo,wulunwoshuoshenmeleyebusongshou。
henkuaishenhoude**tiantuanjiuzhuilaile,wozhenjuedejintianshicheledanlechumenmeikanhuangli。
【a!!!】youshiyishengcanjiao,zhibuguoshi**tiantuande。
wozhengkaiyanjingqiaoleyiyan,shigangcaineiweibaiyinvhaijinjindihuzaiwoshenqian。
henqiguai,neixiegexiaolaowaihaoxiangkanbujiantayiyang,wuzhejiaoyilianbairihuojianguidebiaoqing。
yibianmamalielie,yibiansanle。
02
我有点好奇,
也有点生气。
woshouhuikanxiang**tiantuandemuguang,querenanquanhou,faxianneiweishenzhebaiseguzhuangdegunianghaizainingshiwo。
woqingxufanyong,changshizheyutagoutong。
【你叫什么名字?】
baiyinvhaimianseyileng,yanshenzhongtouluchujisiyihuo,xiangzaihenrenzhendilijiehuadeyisi。
zhanglezhangzui,queyoushenmedoushuobuchulai。
zangxixidexiaolianshangdailejiqieyunaoyi,kanqilaikelianjile。
yuanlaihaishigecanzhangrenshi,neijiugengbuhaobanle。
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【1....10....10hao!】
tayouxiefeijingdicongzuilijichuyijuhua,shengyinxiangguwenlixiedehuanpeidingdang,qingyuedonger。
wolengshen,yuanlaibushixiaoyaba。
wochangshizhaojingchabangzhu,danshiguguaideshibierensihudoukanbujianta。
zaidincibeihuaiyiezuojuhunongjingfangshi,wofangqilezhaorenbangmangbingqiejieshoulezheigelipudeshishi。
只有我能看见她!!
bushishuojianguoyihoubuxuchengjingma!!
【huijia,dai...daiwohuijia,jiaren。】
zaikanjianjingchazoulaishi,tadeshensehuangluan,jiuxiangzhuajiumingdaocaoyiyangzhuazhulewo,yusudoukuailejifen,daoleyiduishenfen。
【woshi,congbowuguantaochulaide,wo,buzhidaowodemingzi,yourenjiaowo10hao。】
cishicikewoyijingchedilengjingxialaile,fenxitahualideluoji。
10hao,bowuguan,zhongguoren,bierenkanbujian。
ze,zenmetingzenmexiangneigebowuguanshizongdelianjianliyuyudiao。
wonachuxinwenduibileyixia。
tatoushangyeyoulianhuazanzi,shenshangdebaisefushixiudezhengshiliyutuan。
怎么说,
越看越像,
haizhenjiu,wenwuchengjingle。