过敏后,我顶着猪头脸挂了前任的专家号精选章节

heqianrenfuhedeniantou,zaiwodingzheyizhangzhongchengzhutoudelian,beitasisianzaipifukezhenliaochuangshangshi,

dadaoledingfeng。ta,guoneidingjianpifukezhuanjia,baidaguayichenburan,biliangshangjiazhefujinsiyanjing,

siwenbailei。wo,yixiandingliunvxing,gangfuwanyizhanghaocheng“yiyehuichun”detianjiamianmo,

lianzhongdeqinmadourenbuchulai。taxiuzhangdeshouzhidaizhebinglengdeyiyongshoutao,niezhewodexiaba,

shengyinqinglengdexiangshoushudao:「zhangzui,shuo‘a’,wojianchayixiahoulongyoumeiyoushuizhong。」

woshituyongwozuihoudezunyanjujue,keyikaikou,fachudequeshileisishuitundebeiming。houlai,fengbopingxi,

wochuaizhezhangheika,xiangdushangtaneizhangkanguowozuichouyangzidezui。「jiyisheng,kaigejiaba,

jiudangshijingshensunshifei?」tamantiaosilidizhaixiayanjing,caleca,

jingpianhoudetaohuayanruiliyougouren:「jingshensunshitanbushang,shenglichongjidaoshibuxiao。」woxinliyixi,youxi?

「zuowanaoyezhenglilenidebingli,yigongxielebaye,meiyeyiwan,youqingjia。」wo:「???」「xianjin,

haishishuaka?」nitemexiedeshibinglihaishilesuoxina!1wo,linwan,neiyugongrendeshenyannvshen。

chudaowunian,pingjieyizhangsanbailiushiduwusijiaodelianhegaolengyujierenshe,quanfenwushu。zhidaojintian,

woderenshe,liantongwodelian,suanshichedibengle。「yisheng!yishengjiuminga!」

guoneizuidingjidesirenpifuzhensuoli,wodejingjirenmijiejidekuaiyaodangchangbiaoyanyigeyuandifeisheng。

wobayufumaodemaoyanyadaozuidi,zhixiwangnenghewodelianyiqi,dangchangcongzheigeshijieshangzhengfa。

zuikuihuoshoushiyizhangxinruipinpaisonglaidemianmo,xuanchuanyushi“yuanzishenhaideshenmililiang,yiyezhonghuanyingerji”。

xianzaihaole,yingerjimeiyou,yizhangfamianmantoudaoshixinxianchulu,youhongyouzhong,

yangdewohenbudebalianpijiexialai。zhibanyishengdeshengyincongbinglibenhouchuanlai,qinglieyueer,querangworuzaoleiji。

「bamaozizhaile。」zheishengyin……wohuanxiangguowushucihejiyanchezhongfengdechangjing。

huoxushizaixingguangyiyidebanjiangdianli,woshoupengjiangbei,wanzhongzhumu,tazuozaitaixia,yanhanrelei,weiwojiaoao。

youhuoxushizaimougejingyingyunjidejiuhui,woyixihongqun,youyacongrong,tahuishangqian,

guzuozhendingdiwenwo:「haojiubujian,guodehaoma?」erbushixianzai,wodingzheyizhangzhutoulian,

xianggewururenleishijiedeguaiwu,erta,shineigeshouwo“tudao”deshenpanguan。zaoniea!jiubugaitanxiaobianyi,

shenmemianmodouganwanglianshangfu!mijiehaizaishitubaohuwoneibukanyi-jideouxiangbaofu:「neige…yisheng,

tashigeyanyuan,kaolianchifande,ninkan……」jiyanchezhongyutaiqitou,jinsiyanjinghoudeneishuangtaohuayan,

danmoshuli,queyoushuxiderangwoxinkouyizhi。「e?shima?」tadalianglewoyimiao,「tingyoutesede,

zuijinliuxingtexingyanyuan?」mijiedebiaoqingshunjianshihua。wozehenbudedangchangxinjigengsai。tayaoshizhenburenshiwo,

woxianzaijiubazheizhanglianpijuanjiyixueyanjiu!fenshouwunian,

woyiweiwomenzaoyichengweibicishengmingliwuzuqingzhongdeguoke。dangnianwojuejueditichufenshou,tashuangyantonghong,

sisizuanzhewodeshouwan:「linwan,nidaodiyoumeiyouxin?」woshuaikaitadeshou,

huashuodebidaozihaili:「jiyanche,woyaodeshixingguangdadao,nijibulewoxiangyaodeweilai。」

shuohaodexingguangdadaoni?xianzai,woderenshengyinweiyizhangmianmo,zouxianglesihutong。2jiyanchefangxiabi,

qishenchaowozoulai,baidaguashangqingliedexiaodushuiwei,shunjianjiangwolongzhao。tadaishangyiyongshoutao,

bingliangdezhijianqingqingpengshangwodelianjia:「biedong。」woqurudibishangleyan。yaoming,

zheinanrenzenmebiwunianqiangengyaomingle?lengbaipi,gaobiliang,bochunweimin,

neifujinsiyanjinggengshijiangtashenshangneiguzijinyuyoushulideqizhifahuidaolejizhi。zheinashiyisheng,

zheifenmingshixingzoudeheermeng。yaobushilianbuzhengqi,wozhenxiangdangchangbatazhuihuilai。tacoudehenjin,

zixijianchazhewodepifuzhuangkuang,huxijiupensazaiwoerbian,wenreyouaimei。

yanshenqueyijiuzhuanyeqielengmo:「lin**,zuoweiyigechengnianren,yinggaimingbai,

bushishenmeluanqibazaodedongxidounengwanglianshangzhaohude。」wo:「wu……ng……」woxiangfanbo,

kelianzhongdelianzuidouzhangbukai。diulian,diudaoqiannanyoujiale。tanachuyigenxizhangdemianqian,

zhanlexietoumingdeyeti,zaiwolianshangqingqingcashi。「kenenghuiyoudiancitong,renyixia。」rengeguia。

qiannanyoudeqixijinzaizhichi,wodelianhaizhongchenglezhutou,zheijianzhishigongkaichuxing。tadedongzuohenqing,

mianqianhuaguopifu,dailaiyizhenxiweidecitongheliangyi。zhifuouerhuibujingyidicaguowodeerkuo。

woganjuequanshendexueyedouzaiwangtoushangyong,liangenghongle。「wu…ni…qingdian……」wohanhubuqingdi**。

tashoushangdedongzuoyidun,taimoukanwo,yanshenlidaizheyisitanjiu:「henteng?」wo:!!!ge,

zheibushitengbutengdewenti!zheishimingbujiuyidewenti!qifengangadaonengyongjiaozhikouchusanshiyiting。

mijiezaiyipangjidecuoshou:「yisheng,yanzhongma?duojiunengxiaozhong?womenhoutianhaiyougepinpaizhibo!」

jiyanchezhiqishen,zhaixiashoutaodiujinlajitong:「jixingjiechuxingpiyan,banyouganran。xianghuifu,jiudetingwode。

」tazhuanshenkailezhangdanzi:「xianqudayizhentuominde,ranhoushisantiandiaoping。zheijitianjikou,

suoyouhufupinhehuazhuangpindoutingdiao。」wohededengdaleyan:「wuwuwu!」santiandiaoping?haiyaojikou?

neiwohoutiandezhibozenmeban?taquexiangmeikandaowode**,shengyinbudaiyisiganqing:「huozhe,

nixiangdaizhezheizhanglianquzhiboyexing。」shengyinbingleng,haowurenxing。wobuchunjiele!momingxiangqicongqian,

womeicilaidayimatengdesiquhuohuo,jiyancheyeshizheiyang,yibianzhouzhemeimawobuhaohaozhaoguziji,

yibianrenmingdijiwozhuhongtangjiangcha,yongwenredeshouzhangjiwonuanduzi。neishihoudeta,youxiongyouwenrou。rujin,

zhishengxiayifugongshigongbandebingshanlian。wowuwu**:「bu……buyao……」tamuguangweidong,

yuqisihuruanlebanfen:「buxiangliubajiutinghua。」

ao……mijienazhedanziqianenwanxiedilazhewoqujiaofeidazhen。jiyanchehuidaozuoweishang,zhongxinnaqibi,

touyebutai。zoudaomenkou,taqinglengdeshengyinyoupiaoleguolai:「lin**deguominshidaoshitingfengfu。」

wojiaobuyidun。mijieyilianmangran:「tazenmezhidaoniyiqianyeguominguo?」

woyingzhetoupijieshi:「keneng……binglishangyouxie?」mijiehuangrandawu:「jiyishengzhenshihuoyanjinjing。」

taqingxiaoyisheng,shengyinbuda,queqingxidichuanjinwomenerduoli:「yanshenzaihao,yekanbutourenxin。bijing,

tiaomianmodeyanguangdouzheimecha,tiaonanrendeyanguang,younenghaodaonaliqu?」mijieshunjianlaxiangjingbao:「dengdeng!

tabushishuoburenshinima?wanwan,zheirenbuduijing,tabuhuishinideheifenba?」

「tagangcaibuhuitoutouluyinpaizhaoleba?zheiyaoshibaochuqu,niderenshejiuquanwanle!」

woxinli“gedeng”yixia。dangchuwomenaidehonghonglielie,taneigejiushoujili,

cunleduoshaowodechouzhaoheniwaishipin,wozijidoushubuqing!rujinwohexinjinxiaoshengluyihangde「shenxianjuanlv」

tonggaomantianfei,yaoshibeibachulaiwodaxueshihaiyougeyixueyuandebaiyueguangqiannanyou……neihuamiantaimeiwobugankan。

mijiejidekuaikule:「wanlewanle!wanwan,yaobuwomenjitadianfengkoufei?」「huozhe,

nishizhanyixiameirenji?yongnizheizhang……e,suiranxianzaiyoudianzhong,dandizihaishizaidelianqumihuota!」

mihuo?jiuwoxianzaizheizhanglian,biebarenhedelianyebaojingjiubucuole。buguo,tantan,daoshizhendeyoubiyao。

woxinyiheng,rangmijiezaiwaimiandengwo,zijizhuanshenzouhuilezhenshi。jiyanchezhengzaixiebingli,jianwohuilai,

tailetaiyanpi,jinsiyanjingfanshezhebinglengdeguang。「haiyoushi?」wozhenglileyixiaqingxu,

gankeyisheng:「neige……jiyisheng,haojiubujian,xuxujiu?」tashensedanmo,

bijianweiting:「wohehuanzhemeishenmejiuhaoxude。」dunledun,youbuchongleyiju:「youqi,shiyoufuzhifu。」

wo:……woyadishengyin,xianggejietoutewu:「jiyanche,womenyiqian……zaiyiqideshihoupaideneixiezhaopian,

nihaiyouma?」tawenyan,zhongyutingxialebi,tiaomeikanwo:「shenmezhaopian?」woyaoya:「jiu……nidongde,

gezhongqinqinbaobaode……」「woxianzaishenfenteshu,niyezhidao,chuanchuquyingxiangbuhao……」tahuranxiaole,

neixiaoyiquelengdexiangbing:「zenme,wozheigeqiannanyou,xianzaichenglenijianbudeguangdeheilishile?」

woyingzhetoupi:「yebushi……yaobu,nikaigejia?womaiduan。」tashentixianghoukaozaiyibeishang,

haozhengyixiadidaliangzhewo,bochunqingqi:「yizhangwuqian。」wuqianyizhang,suiranguidelipu,

danweilewojijikeweideyanyishengya,worenle。gangzhunbeidiantou,tamanyouyoudibuchongdao:「baoshouguji,

yiqianzhangqibu。shuakahaishizhuanzhang?」wo:「!!!」wubaiwan?!「jiyanchenigaixingqiangjielema!」

pianwoganqingjiusuanle,haixiangpianwodeqian!mendoumeiyou!「nibiewangle,woshoujiliyeyounide!

dabuleyusiwangpo!」tachixiaoyisheng,buyiweiran:「e?liuzheqiannanyoudezhaopian,

bupanineiweiluxianshengchicu?」wo:「……」「jiyanche,nidaodishanmeishan,jijutongkuaihua!」

tatuiletuiyanjing,chunjiaogouqiyimoeliedehudu:「nicai。」wo……wocainidaye!「zaijian!」

「zaiyebujian!」tajueduishiguyide!woqichongchongdishuaimenerchu。mijielikeyingshanglai:「zenmeyangzenmeyang?

gaodingle?」「yiwozonghengfanquanduoniandejingyan,tazheibiaoxian,tuotuodeyinaishenghen,huicaituofendeduwei!

kandaonidexinlianqing,xintaibengle!」zhanzaizhensuomenkou,wanfengyichui,wozhongzhangdelianjiasihugengtengle。

naohailiquebushoukongzhidishanguodangniandehuamian。jiyancheshiyixueyuangongrendetiancai,

yeshiwushunvshenganliandegaolingzhihua。diyicijianta,shizaixuexiaodetushuguan,wuhoudeyangguangtouguochuanghu,

jitadushangleyicengjinbian。tachuanzhejiandandebaichenshan,daizhejinsiyanjing,anjingdikanzheshu,qinglengyoujinyu。

jiuneiyiyan,wodangchangxuanbu,zheigenanren,woyaole。wozhuiletazhengzhengyinian,

caibazheiduogaolingzhihuazhuaixiashentan。gangzaiyiqishi,wohenbudetiantianguazaitashenshang,

tazongshiwunaiyouchongnidiniezhewodebizi:「linwan,nishukaoladema?」wolizhiqizhuang:「bu,

woshunide。」wozuixihuankantaweiwoshikongdeyangzi,qianyimiaohaishibushirenjianyanhuodeqinglengxueshen,

houyimiaojiubeiwoliaobodeshuangyanxinghong,huxijicu。neizhongfanchagan,jianzhirangwoyubabuneng。wunianguoqu,

tachuanshangbaidagua,neiguzijinyuqixibujianfanzeng,jushoutouzujian,gengtianlejifenchengshunanrendemeili。

baiyueguang,guoranshibaiyueguang。shashangli,burongxiaoqu。suoyi……taxianzaihaishidanshenma?suanle,

dangnianwobatashangdeneimeshen,tagujizaohensiwole。ganghuidaojia,huanleshenyifuzhunbeiquyiyuanshuye,

mijiededuominglianhuancalljiulaile。yijietong,shipinneitou,shimijieyizhangtongyangzhongchenglefamianmantoudelian。

wo:「???」「bushi,mijienizheishi……beimifengzhele?」takandaowo,wuwuwawashuobuchuhua,

zhinengfengkuangzaipingmushangdazi:【woxiangbutong,neimianmodaodiyoushenmewenti,woyemeiguominshia。

】【benzhekexueyanjindetaidu,woqinshenshileyixia……】【wanwan,jiuminga……】wo:「……」

wodetian!wodejingjirennaozishibushiyeyouwenti!yushi,banxiaoshihou,wodaizhetongkuanyufumao,

lingzhewodezhizhangjingjiren,zaicibenfuneijiawogangfashi“zaiyebujian”desirenzhensuo。shuxidezhenshi,

shuxidedengguang,heshuxidezhibanyisheng。jiyanchekanzhequerfufandewo,

yijiwoshenhoudingzhetongkuanzhutouliandemijie,chenmolezuzusanmiao。taneifuzademuguangzaiwolianglianshanglaihuisaoshi,

zuihouluozaiwoshenshang,fachuyishengyiweibumingdechixiao:「zenme?cosplayshangyinle?」

wo:「……」jiuming!zheigaisidegangajianzhiyaoyichupingmule。mijiezaiyipang「wuwungng」,

lianbiedexianggezishu。woyingzhetoupijieshi:「neige……wojingjirenta,tansuojingshenbijiaoqiang,

xiangweirenleidehufushiye,gongxianyidianweibodeliliang。」

jiyanchemantiaosilididaishangyifuxindeshoutao:「kandechulai,nimentuanduideqiuzhiyu,

yijingchaoyueleduizishenyanzhidejibenxuqiu。」wo……tashiyimijiezuoxia,zhongfuleyibiangangcaidejianchaliucheng。

ranhoulengkuwuqingdixuanpan:「yiyang,dazhen,shuye,jikou。」mijieshunjianleiyanposuodikanxiangwo。

wofue:「……tingyishengde。」mijiebeidafaqugebichuzhishihou,zhenshilizhishengxiawohejiyanche。

qifenyishiyouxieningzhi。wobuganxinjiuzheimezoule。guqiyongqi,shangqianyibu,

ganxiaoliangsheng:「neige……jiyisheng,yuanfendoudaozheifenshangle,yaobu……jiageweixin?」tataitou,

yanshendanmodexiangzaikanyigemoshengren:「baoqian,yihuanguanxi,xuyaobaochijuli。」wo:……「jiayigema,

yihouwanyiwozaiguomin,yehaojishixiangninqiuzhubushi?」「womenyiyuanyou24xiaoshixianshangwenzhenpingtai。」

「bujialadao!」「womendingliunvmingxing,yebushisheideweixindoujiade!」congzhensuochulai,

mijieyibianrouzhelianyibianbujiediwen:「wanwan,niganmafeiyaojiataweixin?」

wolizhiqizhuang:「wokanshangtale。」「bushibawanwan?suiranjiyishengshizhangde……ng,tianlinanrong,

ketaneizhangzui,dudegencuilehedinghongside……」「wojiuxihuantaneifudusheyoujinyudeyanger。」

「shuobaile,jiushichantashenzi,chantaneifujinsiyanjingxiaweiwofengkuangdeyangzi。」mijietongxinjishou:「jie!

wodeqinjie!nikeqianwanbiefanhutu!fensimenzhengkeniheluyihangdecpni,zheiyaoshibeigouzipaidaoshenme,

zanmengongsigongguanbudetoufadouyaodiaoguangle!」

wodandingdibolebotoufa:「neijiurangluyihangchengrentaxihuannanren。」huayingangluo,

luyihangdedianhuajiudaleguolai,yuqilimanshixingzailehuo:「wokandaomijiedepengyouquanle,hahahahalinwan!

tingshuoniliangtiaozhan“huirongshi”hufu?zenmezhe,zhunbeizhuanxingdangxiexingle?」woqibudayichulai:「nizaixiao!

xinbuxinwomingtianjiubaoliaonianliannijiaduijiagongsidebadaozongcai!」talikezhamao:「fangpi!laozishi1!」

「hehe,beiyadeneige1ma?」luyihangshiwofaxiao,qishiwohaiyougefaxiao,

jiushitakouzhongneigeduijiagongsidebazong,gucheng。womensasuanshiyiqichuanzhekaidangkuzhangdade。

neiliangcongxiaojiuwangbujianwang,yijianmianjiuqia,pianpianyouzongyinweiwowandaoyiqi。woyiduhenkunao,

zheiliangyaoshiyihoudougenwobiaobai,wogaixuanshei?shouxinshoubeidoushiroua!zhidaohoulai,

wowuyizhongzhuangjiantaliangzaichuzangshiliwendenanshenanfen。wocaihuangrandawu,gaolebantian,

wobushishenmeaiqingdianyingnvzhujiao,wojiushigedanmeiwenlicujintaliangganqingshengwendegongjuren。

shitamenjinbijumenshangneibashenglexiudesuo。zheixienian,woweilejitaliangdayanhu,chileduoshaomingkuiankui,

jianzhikeyixieyibenxueleishi。huigerongsuanshenme?woderenshengzaojiuhuidechabuduole!shuwanyehuidaojia,

gangbazijirengdaochuangshang,shoujiyouxiangle。yikan,juranshiluyihangdeshipintonghua。

「jiuming……wanwan……wohaoxiang……yezhongzhaole……」shipinli,

tadingzheyizhanghewogenmijietongkuandezhutoulian,yanshenjuewangyouwuzhu。wo:「???」bushibadage?

zheiwanyierhaidaichuanrande?「niyeyongleneipomianmo?luyihangninaozishibeilvtilema?wogangcongyiyuanhuilai!

」「wuwu……wokanmijiepengyouquan……juedeniliangzhongdehaitingduichengtingkeaide……jiumeirenzhu……」

「jieguo……jiuzheiyangle……」wojianzhiyaobeizheiqunwolongfengchuqixiaole。gualedianhua,

worenmingdicongchuangshangpaqilaihuanyifu。yibianhuanyibiansikao,woshangbeizishihuimieleyinhexima,

zheibeiziyaotanshangzheimeyiqunzhishangganrendeduiyou。jiedaotongyangquanfuwuzhuang、guiguisuisuideluyihanghou,

worenbuzhuwen:「ai,nijiaguchengni?zenmebuzhaota?」tawuwudidazi:【rangtazhidao,

feidexiaosiwobuke!womeng1dexingxianghaiyaobuyaole!】dongle。wogouqiyimoxieedeweixiao,dangzhetademian,

botongleguchengdeshipindianhua。「guzong,kankannijiadexiaomeng1,haoxiangnaoganqueshideyangzie。」dianhuaneitou,

zhengzaikaihuideguchengchenmoleliangmiao。suiji,

chuanlaiyizhenyayibuzhudemenxiaosheng:「tazheishi……youzuoshenmeyaole?」wo:「biewen,

wenjiushiweikexuexianshen。bugenniliaole,wodedaizhenijiazheizhishangwadi,qusangumaolu,

baifangyixiawodeqiannanyoule。」yushi,shenyedepifukezhensuo。shuxidedengguang,

hegengjiashuxide……zhutousanrenzu。dangjiyanchekandaowo,yijiwoshenhou,tongyangkoubunengyandeluyihangshi。

taejiaodeqingjin,feichangmingxiandi,tiaoleyixia。「bujieshiyixia?」woyingzhetoupi,

qiangxingwanzun:「neige……ta,zixuechengcai。」

jiyanchedeyanshenlichongmanleduiwomenzheigewuzhongdeshenshenhuaiyi:「nimenyanyiquan,

zuijinshiliuxingzheizhong……xingweiyishuma?」**xiaoliangsheng:「zhuyaohaishixiangweijiyishengdenianzhongjiang,

tianzhuanjiawa……」tazoudaoluyihangmianqian,niezhetadexiaba,mianwubiaoqingdijianchaqilai。

luyihangyikandaojiyancheneizhangshuaiderenshengongfendelian,shunjiansongle。「wuwuwu!」

yanshenfengkuangxiangwoshiyi:tayaogongbaosichou!worenbuzhukaikou:「neige……niqingdian,tapateng。」

jiyanchejianchadedongzuoyidun,huitoukanwo,yanshenlengdexiangbingdao:「zenme?xintengle?」「wojideyiqian,

yougerenshaoweicapodianpi,mourenjiukudegenshenmeside。」yipangbeipochiguademijie,yanjingdengdexiangtongling。

luyihangzhinengwuzhudijixu「wuwuwu」。wobeitazheihuayedelianjiafatang:「neinengyiyangma……」

dangnianwoduoxihantaa。「shibuyiyang。」tazhuanhuitou,duizheluyihangdelian,dongzuoshunjianbiandegongshigongban,

shenzhiyoudianculu,「bijingshiwairen,meibiyaoneimewenrou。」luyihang:「wuwuao……」

wozhoumei:「wogangcaiyemeizheimetenga……」tatouyebutai,

yuqilengdan:「meigerendeguominchengduhepifunaishoududoubutong。」「ruguoluxianshengjuedebushi,

keyiqugongliyiyuanpaiduiguajizhen。」luyihang:「wuwuwu……」wojiaxiao:「neimafanninkuaidian……」

jiyancheshoushangdedongzuoyijiubujinbuman:「kuaibule,chulibuhao,rongyisesuchendian,liuba。haishishuo……」

tazhongyutaimou,yiweishenzhangdikanlewoyiyan,「lin**ganshijian,yaoquyuehui?」wo:「……」