第4章
“wogangcaizuodeshiqing,nimendoukandaoleba。shouxianwoweishenmenengzhijiezhaodaoguize。zheigehenmingxian,shuzhuoshangdeshu,qitadedoushikeben,xuexiziliao,zhiyoufuzhuangshejishibuyiyangde,youyiziranyouwenti,xiannataziranmeicuo。
ranhouwosidiaoguizesuozaidezhi,congchuangzirengchuqu,zheigeyinggaishibaomingdeguanjianzhiyi。
keyicongguizetuilichulai,zheigejiazhiyousigeren,erduochulaideneigerenshishei?zheigerenkeyishirenheren。yekeyishiwomenziji。
dijiutiaoguijuqiangdiaolejializhiyousigeren。neihuanzhongshuofa,zhiyaowomenbushuyuzheigejiadesigerenzhinei,womenjiuhuibeimosha。ruguowomenshitianxuanzhe,ziranbushuyuzheigejia。neiwomenjiuyidingbeimosha。
suoyi,diyijianshiqingyaozuode,jiushimoquzijishitianxuanzhedezhengju。erguizezhidanjiushizuizhijiedezhengju。
zenmehuidiaozhengjuni?yifudouli,lajitong,fangzaishuzhuoshang,zheixiedoubudui。zheidengyujiangzhengjusongdaomamadeshoushang。
mamakandaozhidan,jiumingbaiwuliderenbushizijiaren,neiziranyaochushoushadiao。”
tianmaitingdunyixia,jixushuodao:
“nimenyinggaidoukandaowoshilimiandechuangzishikaide,meiyourenheguizerangwomenzhuyichuangzi,zheigechuangzikaibukaimeiyourenheyongchu,danshiguizeleiguaitanlimiandeguizeheshijian,bukenengshiwuyongde。
suoyoudeguizeheshijianzhiyouliangzhongkeneng。
生,或者,死!
jiranchuangzikailezheijianshiqing,meiyouzhaodaosideguize,neijiushisheng。
congchuangzijiangsisuideguizezhidanrengchuqu,mamaziranzhaobudao,yejiuzhengmingbulewomenbushizheigejiaderen。
zheishihuomingdediyidian。”
tianmaiqishenlaidaoshuzhuoqian:
“dierdianshizuoye。zheigefangjianquanshishuhexuexiziliao,erzaishuzhuoshanghaiyouqingxidekechengbiao,zheidaibiaozheigenvhaihenkanzhongxuexi,huozheshinvhaidejiarenhenkanzhongnvhaixuexi。
guizeleiguaitan,bunengzuodejiushijinu,haiyoubanyanhaozijidejiaose,suoyi,woanzhaokechengbiaodeshunxu,fangleshuxueshuheshuxuezuoye。
mamakandaohaizizijuedexuexiziranshigaoxingde。
zuihouyigehuomingdianshi:baoqiwawa。jizhuyigeguize,meimeiyouyigewawa,zhengmingmeimeixihuanzheigewawa。nishiyigehaojiejiehuozhehaogege,yongyuanbuyaohushimeimei。”
tianmaishuowantantanshou:“wanle。jiushizheimejiandan!”
......
龙国人弹屏:
yipiankongbaihou,fachulemimimamadepinglun。
(我靠!我靠!)
(真的假的?)
(shajidouduoguole,jianglidounadaoshoule,nishuozhendejiade,loushangdeerba。)
(woshayebuxiangshuo,jiexiawodexigai,xiaoguniang,bu,nve......bu,wobupei。tiannvshentaijuele。tashuode,woyigedoumeikanchulai。)
(woganjuewomendouxiaokanzheigexiaoguniang,yexu,tacaishilongguodejiuxing!)
(田神威武!)
(+1)
(+身份证+2)
其他国民的弹屏:
(jiade,zheishijiade,longguoxuanshouzaihushuobadao,tayaoqipianwomenwugudeguigui,yaowomenqusi)
(zheitianmaiyidingyouwomenpiaopiaoguodexuetong,buranbukenengzheimecongming。)
(haolihai,simida!)
......
longyunxiaozuanjingguohou,xiaozuchengyuandoukaishihedanpingyiyang,wokao,wokao......
许方也激动不已。
tazhisuoyifaneigexinxi,yigeshiguojiadayingde,buzuodaoyoushangguowei,diergetayexiangzhidao,xiaoguniangshixiamaopengdaosihaozi,haishikaozijidezhihui。
xianranzheigehaizishihouzhe。
“kanlai,womenlongguoyouxiwangle。”xufangduiwanglinshuodao。
“shia!”wanglinyexiaoleqilai。
zheiyike,tamenduizhiboshangdexiaoguniang,chongmanlexinxin。
......
geguoguaitanxiaozuzhangkebuguandanpingshangdechaonao,mangjiangcongtianmaineilichaodedaan,fajizijiguojiaderen,rangzijiguojiaderenkeyiduoguoguizeshaji。
henkuai,gegeguojiadetianxuanzhededaolewaibianfaguolaidetishi,yiyizhaozuole,wanmeiduoguolechuciguizeshaji!
jiusuanzheiyang,yeyouershigetianxuanzhesiwang,zheiershigetianxuanzhesuozaideguojiayechedidexianruleguaitanzhizhong。
longguoren,shenzhishiqitaguojiaderen,muguangdoukanxiangletianmai,xiwangtakeyizaicipinganduguo。
......
怪谈之中。
tianmaishuowanhou,jiuzhanqilaizaifangzhongsichukanzhe。
zheishiyigehenkatongdenvhaifangjian,yijulimianqunzijiaoduo,zaijiashangshu......keyikanchuzheinvhaiyinggaishiyigewenjingguaiqiaodenvhai。
nvhaiyougemeimei,tahenaizijidemeimei,zhishizheigefangjianmeiyourenhemeimeidehenji,jiulianzhaopiandoumeiyou。
“dangdangdang!”menyouxiangle。
“谁!”田麦说道。
menkouxiangqilemamadeshuohuashengyin:“xingxing,chifanle。mamazuolenizuiaichidecai。”
......
zhiboqianderenquanbudoutixindiaodanqilai。
(yaochifanle,fanzhuoshangdeguijuhenduoni!)
(是啊!)
(buhaole,buhaole,huaziguodetianxuanzhedakailemen,ranhoubeimamashasizaifanzhuoshangle!)
(bushiba,qufanzhuoshangjiusile?)
(shide,shide,huaziguoyijingchedixianruleguaitanle。)
(haoheren,tianmainve,zanmenkeqianwanbuyaokaimen!)
(bukaimenbuxinga,dashanguodetianxuanzhebushuohuabukaimen,menwaidenvrenzhijiebianchengleguaiwu。pomenerrushaleta......)
(zhei,kezenmeban?chuqushisi,buchuquyeshisi!)
longyunxiaozudechengyuanyequanbudengdayanjing。
xufangyeyiliandeyansu,tianmaizheigenvhaizinengduoguoqume?
......
guaitanzhizhong,tianmaikanzhefangmen,waimiandeqiaomenshengyouxiangqilaile。
“xingxing,nizenmebukaimen,buxihuanmamazuodefancaime?”
“xingxing,jiwokaimen!”
“开门!”
menwaide‘nvren’yijingkaishibaozaole。
neifangmenmashangjiuyaobeizasuiyiban。
zhibojianderenyijingyourenwuzhuyanjing,tamenhaoxiangkandaoletianmaidesiwang。
tianmaiyizhidouchenmozhe,suiranmeiyoujudong,quemeiyourenhehuangluan,zainvrendebaonudadaodingjideshihou,tianmainaqilezhuozishangdeneibenfuzhuangsheji,henhenderengzailemenshang。
zheiyijudong,hedemenwaidenvrenmeiyoudongjing,erkanzhiboderenyequanbuhedemeiyoushengxiang。
zheixiaoguniang,shizhengana。
tashipazijisidetaishufuleme?
“chaoshenmechao,zheidaotiwogangyaojiekai,nijiuchao,chaodewodouwangjilejietibuzhou......”tianmaideyuqihenbuhao,duizhemenkouhandao。
menkouanjingdehen,zhibojianlimiandedanpingyedoukongbaide。
xujiu,menkoudenvrenyouhuifuleciaideshengyin:“shimamabuhao,xingxinghaohaoxuexi,mamabudaraonile。”
suihou,chuanlailelikaidejiaobushengyin。
......
弹屏:
(?)
(???)
(tongdengwenhao,jiuzhei?)
(zenmeganjuetianmaiheqitatianxuanzhewandebushiyigeyouxi。)
(同感!)
......
tianmaikanbudaogongping,quejidelongguofalaidexinxi,zhidaoyaogongxiangfangfa。
“xianzaishixiawu3:30,shuzhuoshangyouxuexishijianbiao,xuexibiaoshangbiaojideshi,3:00dao4:00shixuexishuxuedeshijian,xuexishijianmamashibuhuilaijiaochifande,guize3yeshuoguo,babamamabuhuizuofan。”
“ganggangmamashuotazuolewozuiaichidefan,zheigejiushiyinyouchufandisantiao,wangjibabamamabuhuizuofan,suoyixuanzechuqudetianxuanzhehuibeishasi。
erbukaimenyebuxing,yinweinvershiyigeguaihaizi,zenmenengwuyuanwugudebulihuibabamamani?suoyi,bunengchuqushiyiding,zhongdianshiliyou。”
“zheigejiatinghenzhongshihaizidexuexi,yixuexiweijiekou,shizuiwanmeideliyou。
wotingdunneimezhangshijian,shizaixuanze:
diyi,keyirouhedeshuochuliyou,neiyangbaifenzhibaikeyiguoguan。
dier,jiushixiangwogangcaidefanu,zheidianhenmaoxian,danshikeyibangwoyinzhengyijianshiqing,guaitanlimiandezhurenwuyeshiyaozunshouguijude,zaitamenyinyoutianxuanzhefanguishi,zhiyaotianxuanzhehelidejujue,tamenjiubuhuigongji。”
“zheiyesuanshiyigebaozhang!”
“zuizhongyaodeyidian,qianwanbuyaorengkeben,yinweinvhaihenaixuexi,zheigejiatinghenzhongshixuexi,rengkebenshibuyunxude。suoyi,worengdeshifuzhuangsheji。”