我侧头看了他一眼。
zheizhongshuohuadekouqi,taibuxiangtale。
「shinizouhou,niyishengbuhangdizoule,zaiyemeichuxianzaiwodeshiyelile,wocaihouzhihoujue,nizaoyichenglewoshengmingzhong,yingxianglizuidaderen。」
「kewoshigeziyiweishidebendan,mizhizixindirenwei,nizheimexihuanwo,yijinglibukaiwole,womeixiangguo,niyehuilei,huishiwangtouding。」
「zhidaonixiaoshizaiwoshixianzhongdeneiyike,wocaimingbai,nizaojiuwuxingdikerulewodeguxuezhong,dangnichoulideneiyike,neizhongshigudeteng,banzhewomeiyifen,meiyimiao。」
「danwozhenshibai,suoyourendoukanchulai,woduinishihedengdeguofen、canren,nidepengyou,yetongtongzhanzainideyibian,shouhuni,jianjuebukengaosuwo,nizaina。」
「houlai,woshizaibuzhidaozenmebanle,wozhinengyifangjia,jiubanliqianzheng,yigeyigeguojiazhaoni,jiwoguowaidepengyoufayoujian,rangtamenliuyishenbianderen,youmeiyoupengdaoguoni,danlianlaotianyechengfawo,nideyidianxiaoxiyemeiyou。」
「yinianqiandexiatian,wojiulaiguozhei,neitiannimenxuexiao,zhengjubanganlanqiudesaishi,renshanrenhai,pianpianwochuanyuerenhai,meiyouyigerenxiangni。」
我怔了一下。
tameishuocuo,shangyiniandexiatian,womenxueyuanqueshitingkezaijubanganlanqiusai。
kebisaineijitian,woqiaqiaoweilejiao,zaijiaxiuxi。
「zhidao,yizhouqian,wozailundundepengyou,lainimenxuexiaojiantadepengyou,ourankandaoleni,tapaixialenidezhaopian,faleyoujianjiwo。」
「kandaoyoujianlidezhaopian,wodunshijidongdezhanleqilai,bushini,hainengshishei?zhenghaoshiyanshidexiangmuyeyaoshouweile,wojialelianggetongxiao,shouweilexiangmu,feilailezhei。」
「mingminghenlei,danzaifeijishang,haishimeiyousihaodeshuiyi。」
「zuotian,zaixiaomenkou,kandaonichulaideneiyike,wojilikongzhi,cairenzhuchongguoqubanilouzaihuaizhongdechongdong。」
「kexi,yikaishi,nidoumeikandaowo,hepengyouyoushuoyouxiaodidaobie。」
qinchuanbujinbumandiwangxiashuozhe,zhishiyanshen,yizhiweilikaiwo。
「jiuzaiwoyaozhuishanglaideneiyike,nizhongyuhuitoule,woxinluoding,sannianle,wozhongyuzhaodaonile,yexiadingjuexin,zaiyebugannongdiunile。」
16
woyangtou,xuehualuoruwodeyanmouzhong。
「你说完了吗?」
「凝凝。」
wopingxiashixianlai,piantoukanxiangta。
「jiranruci,woyaoqingni,tingtingwodebanbenba。」
「henjiuhenjiuyiqianba,wojiuxiangzhe,zhangdawoyidingyaojiajini,ruguobunengjiajini,wozheibeizijiubujiarenle。haixiaodeshihou,wojiutiantianpanzhe,yaoshishijiankuaiyidianduohao,wojiunengmashangjiajiqinchuanle,nicongxiaojiuneimeshuai,neimeyouxiu,wohaopabierengenwoqiangnide。wogaosuziji,yidingyaobiandehenlihai,yaoduinihenhao,nicaibuhuilikaiwo,suoyi,henxiaodewo,jiukaishigenzhewomamaxuezuojiawu,xiyifu、zuofan、saodi,tamendoukuawoqinkuai,zhiyouwozhidao,shiyinweiwoyihouyaojiajinia,wobuzaozaodixuehuile,yihounixianqiwotaiben,tailanle,zenmeban?daxuezhiqian,wohaoxiangdoutingxingyunde,nichulexuexi,jiushidalanqiu,hexiongdiwan,duishenmeqingqingaiaiyidianyebuganxingqu。keshangledaxue,wodemengjianjiansuile,xiaoyuancainv,jiangluozainideshixianli。nideshijieli,jianjianzhuangmanleta。wozaizenmenuli,yedanbuchuyiqugaoyadegangqinqu,womeiyousuyueshenshangneizhongtiandandeqizhi,yikaishi,wohenjinzhang、henhaipa,weilexiyinnidezhuyili,wozongshuo,shangkedeneirongmeitingdong,xiakelechanzhenijiwojiang,keyitianliangtianhou,niduiwobunaifanle,woyebuganzaichanzhenile。niduisuyuedeguanzhuyuelaiyueduo,shangkedeshihou,huikanxiangta,tabisaideshihou,nihuiqutingtadegangqinbisai,tayaoguoshengle,niwenwo,nvshengyibanxihuanshenmeliwu?xiaoyuanli,guanyunimendechuanwenyuelaiyueduo,wozhinengkanzhe,tingzhe,ganshouzhe。wokaishimingbai,woxiangjiaderen,yihouyinggaiqudebushiwoleba。wokaishijuedezijihaolan、haochajing,weishenmerenjiadeshoukeyidanchuneimehaotingdequzi,wozhihuixiyifu,weishenmerenjiadeqizhineimeyouya,wozheimepingpingwuqi。kanzhenimenxiao,kanzhenimenzouzaiyiqi,wokaishimaochuyizhongniantou,queshi,nimencaishizuishihede,yigeshixiaoyuanfengyunrenwu,yigeshigangqinnvshen。wokaishizibei,taoyanziji,wobazijinengzuodedouzuole,huanbulainideyidianjigua,kesuyueshenmedoumeizuo,shenzhiyixinzhizaigangqinshang,niqueduitapianaiyoujia。woxiangfangxia,zhufunimen,kewozuobudao。mingmingshiwomenxianyudaodea,mingmingwoyijinghennulile。wochulezaimeiyigeshimiandeyewanli,duzitianshishangkou,yanxiayanlei,woshenmefaziyemeiyou。kuanianyeneitian,wodianleyanhua,yanhuazhakaideneiyishun,wohuitou,zhiyouwoziji。wodiankaipengyouquan,neitian,nimenmailehaoduoyanhua,zaisuyuedejialifang。wofumuzaiwodayineinianyijuguowai,shinihewoyiqiqujichangsongdetamen,tamendengjiqian,nibaozhengdao,younizai,wozaiguoneiyidingbuhuigudan。yanhuaxiemu,kongdangdeyuanzili,wobaozhuleziji,gaosuziji,shishihouzoule,neigehaihenxiaohenxiao,jiuxiangzhejiajiqinchuandejining,mengyexingle。」
shuowan,wokanzhetaxiaole。
「凝凝,对不起。」
「qinchuan,womenzongyiweilairifangzhang,quebuzhizheishijian,taiduodeyihan,laibujishouchang。」
「rangwomibunihaoma?」
wozhanglezhangchun:「zouba。」
wochengqilesan,zhezhufengxue,zaiyebuhuitou。
17
秦川视角
我把季凝弄丢了。
haozai,sannianhou,wozhaodaoleta。
woxiadingjuexin,zheiciyidingyaoduitahao。
zhidaotalikai,wocaimingbai,yuanlai,tazaojiuzaiwuxingzhizhongkerulewodeguxue,chenglewoshengmingzhongbukequeshaodeyibufen。
wohetahenxiaojiurenshile,tajiushigeshazi,zhendehensha。
womenxiaoxuejiuzuoguotongzhuo,zaineigebengaihenhushidexiaoxiaonianji,tazongshibahaodongxi,genwoyiqifenxiang。
tahuichenzhexiaba,kanzhewofadai。
dadongtiande,wobuxiangxiyifu,tayikouyingxia:「jiwoba,wochaoxihuanxiyifude。」
wodaqiu,buxiaoxinbatuishuaiguzhele,tamantoudahandipaolaiyiyuan,neizhejideyangzi,sihuwomashangyaoguadiaole。
taxiaoxiaodeyishuangshou,jiwobaozhashangkoudeshihou,biyishengwenrouleshibei。
tazongshihenwenrou,haopiqi,xihuanbangzhuren,woshenzhimeikandaoguotahebierenfaguoyicipiqi。
jinrudaxueqian,womendeguanxi,zhendehenhao。
houlai,daxueli,suyuejinrulewodeshixian。
tadangangqinshi,youyizhongshuobuchulaidewenyifan。
gengrangwoqiguaideshi,taduiwoyidianyebuganmao。
kezheiquechenggongtiaoqilewodexingqu。
erjiningyekanchuleshenme,youyitian,tazhaodaolewo。
「qinchuan,nishibushibuxihuanwo?woganjueyoudianleile。」
wofaxianbengaihetashuoqingchudeshihou,queshebudehuida。
xinghao,neishiyaoshangkele,wopailepaitadenaodai。
「yaoshangkele,xianqushangkeba。」
haozaitahoulaiyemeizaiwenguozheigewenti。
wokaishiqutingsuyuedebisai。
meiduojiuhou,womenyechengweilepengyou,taduiwoyereqinglexuduo,danzhongxinyijiuzaigangqinshang。
xiaoyuanlikaishichuanwen,gangqincainvsuyueshiqinchuandenvshen。
我没有解释。
suyueguoshengneitian,wosongletayifenguizhongdeliwu。
erjiningtahaoxiangbiandehenmangle,tajingchangpaojiaowuchu,henshaochuxianzaiwodeshixianli。
danbujingyijian,woyoufaxiantazaikanwo,zhishiyanshenyoudiandaidaide。
xiangqilai,tazouzhiqian,yinggaishizhunbeigenwogaobiede,tayaozoule。
youyitian,tazaiwomensushexiazhanlehenjiu,kandaowohesuyueyiqihuilaishi,tayoukuaisuzoule。
woguoshengneitian,woyoudiandanxin,tahuibuhuibulaile,haozai,wogangkaishidanxin,tajiutizheliwu,tuimenjinlaile。
taneitianhualedianzhuang,haichuanleyitiaohenpiaoliangdequnzi,tabenlaijiudizikeyi,huazhuanghou,gengyouyizhongweidaole。
taweixiaozhezhuwoshengrikuaile,haoxiangbingmeiyoushoudaoshenmeyingxiang。
wosongleyikouqi,yiqiehaihuizhaojiudeba。
tazhunbeideliwu,conghezijiunengkanchulai,feichangdiyongxin。
dakaideneiyishun,shiqiaodandeqiuyi,lianwodepengyoudoubeitadeyongxinchengdujingzhule。
zheijianqiuyi,jiusuanyouqian,yehennannongdao。
wobuzhidao,tazenmedaoshoude,danguochengyidinghenfeijing。
shengrineitian,suyueneizhiguoyuputongdegangbi,xiandehenfengci。
woyekanqingle,wohesuyuegenbenbukenengle,suyuexiguanbeidajiapengzhe、hehuzhe,danggongzhu,ketajibierendehuibao,quefeichangdifuyan。
guigenjiedi,zheishiyizhongjidudezisi。
ruguo,tameizou,wozhidao,congneiyihou,woyidinghuihaohaoduitale,danworenqingdetaichile。
taneiwan,yizhikanzhewo。
chiwandangao,dajiadouzaichangge,hejiu。
zhiyoutaanjingdizuozaineili,yizhikanzhewo。
woganshoudaole,houlai,wocaimingbai,neishiyizhongwushengdegaobie。
renqingleneixinhou,wocaimingbai,suyuegenbenmeifahejiningbi。
woturanhaoxiangzhaotashuohua,haoxiangbaobaota,xiangtahuifushengqi。
kexiangdaotaluchuguodeshiwangdeyanshen,woyouxiehaipale。
woheleyidianjiu,guqiyongqi,zhunbeiguoqugentashuohua,dengwozhanqilai,caifaxianjiujingshangtoule,renyouxiehuangyou。
wozoulejibu,zhanzaibaofangdezhongyang,yinleshengyoudianda,naozimimimangmangde,kanzheanjingdeta,xiangrangzijiqingxingyixie。
wokanzhetaqishen,zouguolai,dianjiaocoudaowodeerbian。
shuolaikexiao,dangshi,wozhilaolaodijizhuletashuodekaitou。
tashuo:「qinchuan,woxihuanni。」
我脑子飘飘然的。
ranhoujiukanzhetachuqule,wotaishouyaozhuazhuta,wentaquna?
没来得及。
woxiangzhe,tayinggaishiquxishoujianle。
houmiandeliangju,shiwojiuxinglejirihou,caimengranpincouchulaide。
yuanlaitaneitianshuodeshi,tazaiyebuxihuanwole,womenzaiyebujianle。
18
秦川视角
dezhiwochuguozhaodaojininghou,linfeilaizhiwenlewo:
「niyoushenmezigequdaraota?」
「我不能失去她。」
yixiangfengfenghuohuodelinfei,chenmoleyizhen。
「qinchuan,fangguotaba,nigenbenbulejieta,zheishitadeweiboxiaohao,niqukankanba。」
linfeixiexiayichuanzhanghao,fangzailewodezhuoshang。
我拿起那张小纸。
qingpiaopiaodezhi,querangwoyaoxiadingyifanjuexin,caiganqusousuozheigezhanghao。
wohuifang,bashoujichongmanledian,caixiadinglejuexin,souchulezheigezhanghao。
touxiangshiyiduojumaodetupian。
网名,喵呜。
「dahaqiandebiaoqian,woxihuanderen,henyouxiu,wobixuyeyaoyouxiu,buranpeibushangtade,suoyi,ganjinzaoqibeishula,tademubiao,keshixda。
jintianmaidaolexuegaocike,quedian,guisile,youdian,tabangwofude,wuwu,yinweiwodelinghuaqiannongdiaole,jiexialaiyaoeduzile。
yinweitaxihuandeqiuxingshiqiaodana,penglianxiao。
——zuoweinvsheng,nizenmezhidaoqiaodande?
chunvzuode,tachaojiaiganjing,youpinwei。
——nixihuanderenshishenmexingzuode?
youmengjiantale,weishenmetiantianjianmian,haihuimengjianni?guantani,yaoshimeitiandounengmengjiantacaihaoni。
jintiantingdaotamenjigenanshengzailiaoche,woturanxiangdao,tadefujiashi,yihouwoyudingle。
wu,jintiantadaqiushoushangle,qidao,qidao,zaodianhaoqilai。
wannengdeweibo,guzhele,zenmeduntang,zuiyouyingyang?
tachanggezhenhaoting,woerduodouyaohuaiyunle。
wozaichuntianlixiangta……haoxiangta……
——chuntianlaile,nizaichuntianliganma?
woxinde,qidao,qidao,qiupusabaoyou,woyihounengjiajiyigejiaoqinchuandenanhaizi。
——你信菩萨吗?
kusila,jintiankandedianying,nanzhuhenvzhuzuihoujingranmeizaiyiqi。
yujianni,woshixingyunde。
jintian,tadailingwomenban,delexiaolansaidiyi,dianzandianzan。
yaogaokaole,bibozhong。」
……
「womenshangdaxuela,xinxiaoyuanhaoda。
jitamailexiangsuji,zaitamensushelouxiadengdaoxiangsujiliangle,tayemeichuxian。
zhoumobuchuquwan,jitaxiyifu。
shetuanjubanlefangkongmingdengdehuodong,woxianghetayiqifang,danzhuanyan,tarenjiuzoule。
huidangangqindenvhaizi,nanshengdoumeiyoudikanglima?
huashangzhuang,chuanshanglexinmaidexiaoqunzi,xiangyuetachuquwan,tameikong。
失眠。
ruguonixihuanderen,haoxiangxihuanbierenle,nizenmeban?
tayanfandeyanshen,rangwohaohaipa,suanle,yihoudoubuwentawentile。
ruguozuihoumeiyouhexihuanderenzaiyiqi,nihuiyihanma?
放不下,怎么办?
jinzaizhichi,yaobukeji。
woganjuewoyaobianchengyigeshenjingbingle。
sheiyouanmianyao,jiwoyoujiliangkeba。
taguoshengle,tasongdeliwushixiangnaierdeshuangcxianglian,sanwankuai。
zaogaoderiziyufulandewo,zhenshijuepei,kebaitiandewo,liandiaoleidoupashili。
yigerenfangyanhua,yuanlaibuhuikuaile,huigudujiabei。
jiluyijugeci:xiangfengyurenhai,quezhongguiyuchenai,
baoqianla,pengyoumen,wodasuanchuguole,zheigeweiboyaotinggengle。」
18
秦川视角
sinianhou,wozaihaiwaidepengyoujializuoke,kandaoleyizhangjingyinghuijidebiyezhao。
tadeyanlimanmandewenrou,bianshang,zhanzheyimingyangguangdenansheng。
pengyouguolai,pailepaiwodejianbang。
「liangrenxiayueyaojiehunle,nanfangtingqiang,duanduanyiniannei,dailingchengxinkejichenggongshangshi。」