第1章
jintianshilinjiangxiashanderizi，keshigangdaoshanjiaoxiabianyudaoleyushuicundewangguafuhecunzhanglaopomadongmei。
yushuicundemeifudezhilinjiangjinrixiashan，rangtamenliangzuoweiyushuicunmeifudaibiaosongbielinjiang。
kanzheyixixingganzhangqundeliangweimeifu，linjianghuitoukanleyiyanliangongshishangdesiweishifu，yaoleyaotou！
“liangweijiejie，wozaibuzou，shifumenhuidasiwode”
啵！
啵！
wangguafuhemadongmeihenhendiqinleyikoulinjiangbushedishuodao：“neixing，niyihouchanglaiwan”。
linjiangdianlediantou，beishangfanbubaoyiyibushedizouxialeshan。
wunianqian，yishenmilaorenjiangyanyanyixidelinjiangsongdaolejiuyangshan。
baitian，linjianggenzhesiweishifuxuexiyidao、wudao、yaodao、guadao！
wanshangdeshihou，tamenbianbalinjianggandaoshanjiaoxiadeyushuicun。
weileburanglinjianglusujietou，yushuicundemeifubianlunliuyaoqinglinjiangyesuzaitamenjia。
wuniandeshijian，linjiangzaojiuyuyushuicundemeifujiexiashenhoudeqingyi。
suoyi，zheiyici，linjiangturanlikai，yushuicundemeifudoufeichangdebushe。
tamenzhanzaigaochuwangzhelinjiangdeshenyingbuzhudizhaoshou，zhidaolinjiangxiaoshizaitamendeshiyezhong。
......
linjiangganggangzouchuyushuicun，yipaipaidehaohuajiaochebiantingzailelinjiangmianqian！
“haodadepaichanga，zheishihuanyingwoxiashanhuijiadema”
linjianggangdiguwan，congcheshangxialaiyigeshenchuanheiseshenvxingzhangqundemeinv。
heisedezhangqunjiangneipianxuebaidejifuchentuodegengjiayaoyan。
tadaizheyifuheisedemojing，neipiaoroudexiufapisankailai，sihuhaisanfazhedandandefangxiang！
dangmeinvzhaixiamojingdeneiyike，linjiangjingdaile。
真的是绝世美人啊！
tawanruchunrilizhanfangdehuaduobanjiaoyanyudi，zhangzhangdejiemaoweiweiqiaoqi，yanmouqingcherushui，hongchunfennenerbaoman。
yishijian，linjiangjingrankandaile！
meinvmaizheyaoraodebufazouxianglelinjianglenglengdewendao，“nishilinjiangba。”
“嗯，你是...”
linjiangjingyadikanzheyanqiandemeiren，taganjuesihushizainalijianguo！
“wojiaosumengyao，shilinhaishisushijituandongshizhang，jinnian38sui，shengao170limi，tizhong100jin，sanweishifenbieshi92、64、88limi，zheizhangkaliyouwubaiwan，nixiannazheba”
budenglinjianghuida，sumengyaobianbaneizhangyinxingkasaijinlelinjiangdekoudaizhong！
“congjintiankaishi，nijiushiwosumengyaodenanren，niyaodangzhuixu，erqiehaiyaozhuangyigeshazi”
sumengyaoyuqibingleng，xiangshiminglingyiyang。
linjiangweiweiyileng，gangxiashanjingranyoumeifubiwojiajita，jingranhaisaijiwowubaiwan。
zheidamashiyudaozhapianleba。
suoyi，linjianghaobuyouyudijujuedao，“womeiyoucaicuodehua，womenshibushidiyicijianmianba，wubaiwanjiurangwodangzhuixu，haiyaozhuanggeshazi，nimeimaobingba”。
linjiangyanzhonghuaiyiyanqiandezheigenvrenyoubing，erqiebingdebuqing！
“womeiyoubing，danniyoubing”
sumengyaoshuowanbiandijilinjiangyizhangjingshenbingdezhenduanzhengming！
患者姓名：林江
患者年龄：23岁
患者诊断：傻子
youshangjiaojingranhaitiezheyizhanglinjiangdeyicunzhaopian，zhaopianshanghaigaizhelinhaishijingshenbingyuandedahongzhang！
dangkandaozheizhangjiadejingshenbingzhenduanzhengmingdeshihou，linjiangdandandihuidao：“duiduidui，woyoubing，nikeyaolizhewoyuanyidian，yaoburanchuanjinizaban”。
shuowan，linjiangzhuanshenjiuyaolikai！
“heng，jirannibugan，neinibawunianlaiqianwodeqianhaijiwoba”
欠钱？
不对啊！
zheiwunianlai，woyizhimeiyouxiashan，zenmehuiqianqianni！
suoyi，linjiangyihuodiwendao，“womeiyoujicuodehua，womenyinggaishidiyicijianmiana，woshenmeshihouqianniqianlea”！
“dangniannisigeshifuyinidemingyicongwozheilijieleyigeyi，yinidemingyijuanzengjishanqudehaizi，zheishinideqianmingheshouyin”
linjiangjieguoqiantiaokanlekan，bujintanleyikouqi！
唉！
见过坑爹的，
见过坑娘的，
haizhenmeiyoujianguokengtudide！
zheisigezaolaotouzihuaidehen！
gangxiashanjiurangwobeishangyigeyidezhaiwu！
一个亿？
woshangnalinongyigeyia！
linjiangsuijibianbaqiantiaosaijinzuilitunlexiaqu。
sumengyaokandaolinjiangdesuozuosuoweihouxiaole，“chouxiaozi，wozheilihaiyouhenduofuyinjianni，niyaobuyaoyikuaichilea”。
kanzheyidiefuyinjian，linjiangnaolenaotouxixiaozhehuidao，“nengbunengshangliangyixia，womenzhaogebinguan，wohenitangexiangmu，baonimanyi，neiyigeyijiumianle，ruhe”。
sumengyaokanlekanlinjiangjixiaodaodao：“niyiweinihenlihaia，neiruguowobumanyizenmebanni，wozheigenianjidenvrenkeshirulangsihu，niquedingnenggoumanzuwo”？
“woxianzaijinilianggexuanze，diyi，xianzailimahaiqian。dier，xianzaishangmendangwoshananren”
linjiangyoukanleyiyansumengyao，tayouzhejingzhidemianrong，youzhemoguibandeshencai。
suiyuefangfogewaijuanguta，bingweizaitalianshangliuxiaguoduohenji。
tadejifuyiranjinzhiguanghua，suiyuesihuzhishiweitazengtianleyifenchengshudeyunwei。
zheimeyouyunweidenvrenbizhewojiajita，hainengmianchuyigeyidezhaiwu！
zheizhonghaoshi，shazicaibutongyini！
suoyi，linjianghaobuyouyudixuanzelediertiao。
“haoba，wojiumianweiqinandexuanzediertiaoba”
shuowan，linjiangdakaichemenzhijiezuojinlecheli。
haimeiyoudengsumengyaofanyingguolai，linjiangzhijielatalarulehuaizhong。
sumengyaobeilinjiangturandejudonghehuaile，tajiejiebabadewendao，“lin...linjiang，ni...niyao...ganma，zhei...zheishizaicheli...”
“jirannirangwodangninanren，neiwojiuyaoxingshininanrendequanlile！”