第2章 厕所遇魅影,幸好我有精炼二十年的童子尿!

“baozhuang?xialiu!”meinvyileng,suijifanyingguolai,maleyiju,tuozhexiangzizhuanshenjiuzou!

“ganmamaren?worangnichailebaozhuang,shirangnixiezhuangdeyisi,bushirangnituoyifu,zhenbushia!”xiazhengyangsonglesongjian。

meinvtingerbuwen,chumenzuozhuanerqu。

xiazhengyangquezhuichudianwai,kanzhemeinvdebeiying,ruoyousuosi。

koudailidedianhuaxiangle,xiazhengyangtaochushouji,kaikoudao:“laoma,youshima?”

“youdashia!”laomadeshengyinchuanlai,shuodao:“jintianzhongwu,zaibalicantingkafeiguanxiangqin,shierdian,niyaozhunshidao!”

“bushibalaoma,laodiesilehaibudaosannian,shiguweihan,nizheishihoujiuyaoquxiangqin?”

“fangpi,laoniangshibangnianpaidexiangqin!”

“ee……woshoujimeidianle,huiliao!”xiazhengyangguoduangualedianhua,guanji!

xiangqinxiangqin,zheiliangnianlai,xiazhengyangbushizaixiangqin,jiushizaixiangqindelushang!

xiazhengyangjinniancaiershisansui,yagenjiumeixiangguozheimezaojiehun。suoyimeicixiangqin,tadoushituisanzusi,huanguzuoyoueryanta,nengduojiuduo,nengtuijiutui。

ranerlaomaquexinjirufen,qieerbushedijitaanpaiyichangyouyichangxiangqin,shenzhihaichusouzhuyi,rangxiazhengyangqucanjiadianshixiangqinjiemu!

guanleshouji,xiazhengyangergenqingjing,zouxiangjietoudegonggongcesuo,zhunbeisapaoniao。

“hei,zhaizhudaren,jintianshengyikaizhanglea!”jiebianbaitanmaiyanpindedahuzilaowang,zuilidiaozheyigenguwenyinyaqian,chongxiazhengyangxiaodao。

laowangbingbulao,sishiduosui,beifangdahan,gensheidoushizilaishu,zhengtianzaishichangshangxiazahu。

“yunqihao,kaimenzuolegexiaoshengyi!”xiazhengyangyixiao。

“zhaizhudaren,shenmeshihoubangwomianfeijiandingjigebaobei。doushilaopengyoule,nioueryedeguanzhaoguanzhaowo!”laowangshuodao。

“xinga,wojintianjiuguanzhaoni,mianfeibangnijiandingjianding。”xiazhengyangshuodao。

“真的假的?”

“当然是真的了!”

fujinkaidianbaitande,douzouguolaikanxiazhengyanghelaowangchuiniubi。

xiazhengyangzhizhelaowang,shuodao:“laowangnizuishangdiaozhedeyaqian,kebujiandan,neishidaqingchaoqianlonghuangdiyongguodedongxi!”

laowangchileyijing,jimangcongzuilichexiayaqian,fanfukanlekan:“bushiba,zheiyaqian……qianlonghuangdiyongguode?”

zheimeiyaqian,dequeshiqingchaodedongxi,yiduanshiyaqian,lingyiduanshiwaershao。

sizhoudeweiguanzheyefenfenchijing,jiaodao:“**,qianlonghuangdiyongguodedongxi,laowangbushifacaile?”

xiazhengyangqueshayoujieshi,shuodao:“juwosuozhi,qianlongshisannian,qianlonghuangdiweifusifang,yilulaidaodaminghupan……danshi,huangdimeiyushangxiayuhe,quezaiqingloulireleyishenbing。”

“shenmebing,genwodeyaqianyouguanxima?”

“you,guanxijiuzaizheili!”xiazhengyangdiandiantou,shuodao:

“qianlonghuangdizaiqinglouliranlebing,daozhiniaodaojieshiniaolubuchang。houlai,jiushiyongzheigenyaqianshutongniaodaode!meiyouzheigenyaqian,huangdiyedebeiniaobiesi!”

“**,yuanlainizaiguaizhewankengwo!”laowangtingmingbaile,kuxiaobude。

weiguanzheyefenfendaxiao,zhizhelaowangshuodao:“laowang,nitiantianyongzheigenyaqiantiya,youmeiyouwenjianqianlongyedeniaosaoweia?”

“quququ,nimenmeiyigeshihaoren!”laowangdenglezhongrenyiyan,jiangyinyaqiandiuzaitanweishang,gaoshengyaohe:

“lailailai,zouguoluguo,buyaocuoguo,qiaoyiqiaokanyikanlea,banpianjieguwanshichang,shouguzhaizhaizhu、guiyanjianbaoshixiazhengyangqinzijianding,qianlonghuangdiyongguodeyinyaqian,bianyimailea!”

四周笑倒了一片。

xiazhengyangyeheiheiyixiao,kuaibupaoxiangcesuo。

nancesuolidunzheyigeren,shenchuanhongqun,dizhetou,yitouzhangfapixialaizhezhulelianmian。

xiazhengyangyikaishimeizaiyi,lakaikuzilalian,kaishifangshuilecaijuedebudui,jimangniutoushuodao:“weidajie,zheilishinancesuoa,nizenme……”

neigehongyirentaiqitoulai,luchuyizhangcanbaidelianhedixuedeshuangyan,ziyajianjiao:“xixi——!”

“**,yougui!?”xiazhengyangchileyijing。

hongyinvguiyijingqishenpulai,liangzhibilvdeguizhua,zhiquxiazhengyangdexiasanlu!

“kao,xianghuiwozhongshengxingfu!?xinghaoxiaoyeyoujinglianershiniandetongziniao,rangnichanggexian!”xiazhengyangjizhongshengzhi,mengzhuanshen,yitiaoshuixianbizhierqu,cicizuoxiang!

yushangshuixian,guiyingdunshidongkai,xiongqianpoleyigedadong,jianjiaoyishengpiaoxiangjiaoluo。

“nalizou!”xiazhengyangshoumangjiaoluan,youshouzaizuozhangxinxuhualeyigeyinyangtu,taizhangpileguoqu:“yinyangwuji,renjianyoufa!”

砰!

youhongguangyishan,zhengzhonghongyinvgui。

“yiya……”canjiaoshengzhong,guiyingzhandou,jianjianxuhuachengyan,xiaosanerqu。

xiazhengyangniaoleyikuzi,langbeididouledoukuzi,youqushuichilixishou,xinzhongyumenbuyi,zheinvgui,shicongnalilaide?nandaoshijiandingtaoguandenvhaizidailaide?

congcesuolizouchulai,xiazhengyangtingjian‘yuancifang’lichuanlaiguikuyibandeaihao,jimangcouguoqukanrenao。

dahuzilaowangyezai,dishengshuodao:“yuancifangli,youyigesichiqinghuapinghuranbaolie,sunshijibaiwana,laobanzaiku……”

xiazhengyanghuangrandawu,yuanlaigangcaidenvgui,shicongyuancifanglichulaide!

xuduolaogui,xihuanjishengyumuzanggudongzhizhong,jiezhuyinqiercunshen,jiuerjiuzhi,bianyuzheimuzanggudongchengweileyiti,bianchenglegudongdelinghun。

zijigangcaiyidaozhangxinleizhensanlenvguideguiying,tajishendedahuaping,yejiutongshiposuile。

neigehuaping,xiazhengyangjianguo,dequeshicongyuandaigumuliwachulaide。

buguozheijianshi,xiazhengyangbushuo,jiubuhuiyourenherenzhidao。yuancifangdelaoban,zhinengzirendaomei。

zhengzaikanrenao,huranyourenyingyishan,yigenvziqidaoxiazhengyangdeshence,lianggenshouzhijiuzhuletadeerduo,mengdixiangshangyiti!

“si——!”xiazhengyangtongdedaoxiyikouliangqi,jimangdajiao:“laomashouxialiuqing……”

lairenzheicaifangshou,lengxiaodao:“chouxiaozi,nibushishoujimeidianlema?laoniangjinisongchongdianbaolaile!”

talaomajiaoyeyulian,bingbulao,jinniancaisishisansui,rongyanjiaohao,shencaiyehao,hemeiyanfangyoujifenxiangsi,lveshifendai,kanqilaijiuxiangsanshiduosuidedajiejie,nalixiangshichuanshuozhongconghuashangpiaoxialaidenvgui?

“bietuisanzusi,jiwogunquxiangqin!”yeyulianehenhendishuodao。

“xingxingxing,woquxiangqin,laomazaizheilibangwokanzhedianpuba。wodaibiaolaodiezaitianzhiling,xiangnibiaoshiganxie!”xiazhengyangwunaididiantou。

yeyulianzheicaimanyi,shuodao:“haoba,laoniangjinikandian,nilikehuijiahuanshenyifu,qubalicantingsanloukafeiguan,dengyigechuanqianhongsewuxiulianyiqundezhangtoufaguniang,biechidaole!”

“遵命!”

xiazhengyangjiangdianpuyaochidiujilaoma,zouxiangletingchechang。

“jizhule,chabuduojiucheng,bietiaosanjianside!”yeyulianzaihoumiandingzhu。

“zhidaolelaoma,zhiyaoshinvren,shihuode,jiuok!”xiazhengyangbunaifandihuishou。