第一章:导演在哪?

脑子寄存处,

kanxiaoshuozajiutulelehe,qingwushanggangshangxiana。

juqingxugou,juqingxugou,juqingxugou

shidaijiakong,shidaijiakong,shidaijiakong,

重要的事情说三遍!

“kuaile,kuaile,zheigongzuozhongyushiyaojieshule。”

“99.1%,99.3%,99.4%,……laile,mashangjiuyao100%le。”

xuchuxiayanjingsisidingzheyanqiandepingmu,neixingenzhemonian,zhishimeidengduojiu,pingmujiugenjingzhileyiyang,wanquanmeiyouleganggangdedongjing。

“zenmehuishi,zenmedaole99.9%jiubudongle,gaoxintainizheishi。”

xuchuxiadunshizhouqilemeitou,suijijiangshoufangdaojianpanshang,xiangyaokanqingchuzheishenmeqingkuang,

zhishitadeshougangjiechudaojianpandeneiyike,zhenggeshentishunjianganjuexiangshibeishenmedongxigongjileyiban。

瞬间脑子一片空白。

……

“niang,yaobuzheicigancuijiuruletadeyi,zhijierangdagehuilaihetabazheihunjilileba,yaoburanzheijia,wozhenshiyikeyeguobuxiaqule。”

pojiudetupifangnei,yizhenqingcuideshengyinxiangqi,zhishizheiyuqiyitingjiuzhidaoshuohuaderenhenqifen。

“zhitao,nixiuyaoshuohuhua,chuxiazaizenmeyangneiyeshinisaozi,niyihoukebuyaozaishuochuzheizhonghuale,youqishizainisaozimianqian。”

zhoumuzhangsufenyilianbumandikanxiangzijidenverzhouzhitao,xinlinanshoubuyi,taxiangbumingbai,yuanbenyijianhenhaodeshiqing,zajiupianpianchenglexianzaizheigeyangzi?

wanquanmeiyouzhuyidao,cishifangjianlimianlingwaiyigerendecishijinjinzhoujindemeitou。

“si,haochao,nengbunenganjingdian。”

xuchuxiagangganghaichenjinzaibeixitongkazhudebushuangzhong,tingdaopangbiandeshengyin,dunshikaikoudaduan。

zhishihaimeidengtashuowan,toushangdetengtongganchuanlai,shidetalijizhengkaileshuangyan。

“touhaoteng,zheishenmeqingkuang?”

toushangdetengtongrangtacikejingshenyouxiehuanghu,youqishikandaolezheituzhuanwadingde,gengshirangtamobuzhetounao?

bushi,taganggangbushizhengzaipeiheluzhima?zenmeturanhuandifangle,erqiehaishizheimeyouniandaigandedifang?

nandaozheiyeshijiemuzudepaishexianchang,buranxianzaizenmehaihuiyouzheiyangdefangzi?

danwozenmeyidianyinxiangyemeiyou?xuchuxiaxinligedengleyixia,zhuantoudaliangzheqitadifang。

dahonghuareshuihu、tangcibei、nilongbaohaiyouzheiwusidengpao,xinxiangzheijuzukeyia,zheijingjuranzuodezheimebizhen。

haiyouzheiqiangbi,haishitupifang,haiyouzheinianbao。

yaobushizijijieshouguogaodengjiaoyu,tadouyaojuedezijicikechuanyueleni?

“zhishizheishexiangtouzaina?haiyoutadetoushishazigeqingkuang,zenmezheimeteng?”

xuchuxiabashoushendaozijidetoushang,faxianzijitoushangjuranbangzhebengdai,tajuranshoushangle,keshitazenmeyidianyinxiangdoumeiyou?

zheibukenenga,tazenmelianzijishoushangledoubuzhidao,zenmeganjueyouxiebuduijing。

haiyouzheijiemudejiabinni?jingtouzainali?buyinggaia,nandaoshiyinzangshexiangtou?

erqietazheibeizi,tazheiyifu,zenmeganjuehaiyouyiguweidao,youxiexiangtushizenmehuishi。

xuchuxiaweiweizhoumei,xiankaigaizaizijideshenshangdebeizi,liluoqishenxiangyaogaoqingchuzheidaodishizenmehuishi。

zhishihaimeidengtaqishen,lijibianbeiyishuangshoujienlehuiqu。

“chuxiaa,nizheishixiangganmani?nigenmashuo,majinibangmang。”

cishixuchuxiacaijiangyishidao,zheifangjianlimian,chuleziji,haiyouliangrenni,zhishizheidamaganggangshishayisi?

“妈?”

xindejubenshedingma?tazheishicuoguoleshenme?taxuyaojishenmefanying?

xuchuxiacikejuedezijidenaozijiugendangjileyiyang,wanquanchulibuleyidianxinxi。

“e^,chuxia,nijintianzaoshangshuaipolenaodai,haihaoxianzaixingle,nixianhaohaotangzhe,youshenmezhaoma。”

zhangsufenmeiyoutingdaoxuchuxiadaizheyiwendeyuqi,yiweitashizaijiaoziji,duizhexuchuxiaguanqiedao,tongshihaiweibukechadesongleyikouqi。

xuchuxiatinglezhangsufendehua,lijifanyingguolai,tajintianshuaipotoule,guaibudetaganggangzenmeganjuetouyoudiantong,hezheshizheigeyuanyina。

keshizhuanyantayoufanyingguolai,zheibuduia,jiusuantakepotoule,neizheifangjianyoushizenmehuishi?

tazheishenyifuyoushizenmehuishi?taganggangbushiyijingyaowanchengrenwulema?zayouchuxianxinjubenle?

“buhaoyisia,ayi,xianzantingyixia,gongzuorenyuanni,nimenzainani?”

xuchuxiayibianshuangshouduizhezhangsufenbiaoshiqianyi,yibianzaixunzhaozhegongzuorenyuan,buguaitabujingye,zhishitaxianzaibixuyaogaoqingchushenmegeqingkuang。

zhishi,yingjietadebushitaxiwangkandaodegongzuorenyuan,ershizhiqianyizhizaipangbiandezhouzhitao。

“bushi,woshuoxuchuxia,nizheishiyouxianggaoshenmeni?wogaosuni,meimen,jintianzhiyaoyouwozai,nixiuxiangnadaoyifenqian。”

“bushi,buhaoyisia,zheiweixiaojie,xianzantingyixia,wozhaoyixiagongzuorenyuanlejieyixiaqingkuang。”

xuchuxiazaicishuochuyiyangdehua,zhishizheicishiduizhezhouzhitaoshuode。

“xuchuxia,nidaodiyouzaigaoshenmegui?nizhibuzhidao,nijintianzheiyang,womenjiayouyaoqianduoshaoqian。”

zhouzhitaotingwanxuchuxiadehua,xianshiyileng,suihoubianfanyingguolai,juedexuchuxiazheikendingshiyouyaobiezhehuai。

“bushi,woshuozheiweixiaojie,woganggangyijingshuole,xianzantingyixia,woyouxieshiqingxuyaoheshiqingchuzaijixugongzuo,daoyan,daoyanzaima?”

xuchuxiameitouweicu,suiranshizijideyuanyinzhongduanlegongzuo,danzheihezuodedadangduoshaoyoudiantingbudongrenhualeba。

“xuchuxia,nidaodizaihushuobadaoxieshenmeni?”

“chuxia,nizheishiganshenmeni?shenmedaoyan,shenmegongzuorenyuan?”

zheicibujinshizhouzhitao,zhangsufenyefaxianlebuduijing。

“daoyana,womenbushizaiyanxima?”

xuchuxiadengdayanjingyihuodikanxiangmianqiandeliangren?

“yanxi,yanshaxi?chuxia,nizheishizenmele?nikeqianwanbuyaohemaa,nibayijingchuqujieqianle,jieleqian,womenmashangjinisongzhenweishengyuanqu。”

zhangsufenyilianjinzhangdikanxiangxuchuxia。

xuchuxiameitouzhoudegengshenle,zheilianggedadangshishenmeqingkuang?taganggangdehuatamenmeitingdongma?

“suanle,henimenshuobuqingchu,wochuquzhaogongzuorenyuanqu。”

shuozhechuxiazaicixiangyaocongchuangshangqilai,zhishizheicibuzhidaoshibushidongzuobiganggangdalehaishibiedeyuanyinturanmengdiyizhenxuanyunxilai。

yucitongshi,naohaizhongganjuehaibeisailehenduodongxi,daozhitayixiazizhichengbuzhu,zhijieyoudiehuichuangshang。