第1章 一碗狗饭

cunzhangjiagenqinermazijiayidaoyuanqiangzhige。

tingjianpofuzheihua,wushiduosuidelaocunzhangzaiyuanzilirenbuzhubangwawashuodao:“quancunbaiduohurenjia,yinianzuiduolundaonijiasanci,xiaowawanengchiniduoshao?”

yitingcunzhangzheihua,pofugenghuodale。

“chichichi!quancundouqiannineisiguidiemade!”

quancunyuanbenliangbaiduohurenjia,liangnianqianyichangnishiliuduoquleyibaiduohurendeming,zainanlailinshishibanyesangeng,suoyijihudoushiyijiazilianrendaifangzituanmie。

sansuiduodexiaolianbaochengletajiaweiyidexingcunzhe。

guanyuxiaolianbaodefuyangwenti,cunzhangzhaokaiguocunhui,busonggueryuan,yibailingbahurenjiadouxingqin,zupushangpaideshangbeifende,yijiayitianlunliuyangta,yangdaoshibasuitanengziligengsheng。

liguixianghenhendenglexiaoalianyiyan,meihaoqidejinwujitaduanfan。

xiaoalianyanleyankoushui,manyanqidaizheretengtengdebaimifan。

然而两分钟后……

liguixiangduanlegequekouzangwanchulai,yemeijitanakuaizi,bawanwangwuyanxiayidiu。

“chiqu!guanniyitianfan,haiderangnizaijiashuiyiwan,wolandejinishoushigouwo!nicunzhangyeyezheimexihanni,chiwanjinwanqutajiashui!”

xiaoalianrenshizheiwan,zheishimazishujiagouchifandewan,xiaobanwanfancaiheihuhude,henzang,yikanjiushigouchishengxiade。

takanleyanwanlidedongxi,bennengdetaiqitoulaikanzheliguixiang,anzhaobeifen,tadehanershen,quancunduoshaodouyoudianxueyuande。

zheiyiyanjiubapofudianzhele,zhadansidezhakaile。

“kanshenmekan!ganjinjilaoniangchile!kebierangzuolinyoushedeshuoxianhua,shuolaoniangshebudejinikoufanchi!”

xiaoalianhedeyizhan,mangdunxiaquduanlegouwan。

buguotameichi,ershiduanzhegoufanbatuijiupao,wanggebicunzhangyeyejiapaoqu。

liguixianglenglexia,fanyingguolai,jimangquzhui。

“nigesiyatou!bawanduannaqu!jilaoniangsihuilai!”

xiaoalianyitianmeichidongxi,jiashangnianyou,zaicunzhangjiamenkoujiubeipofuyibadaizhuleyiling,daizhujiushihenhendeyiche。

xiaoalianbeichedemengwanghouyidao,duanzaishoulidegoufanchaotianyangqu,haoqiaobuqiao,soudeyixia,yiwangaizailepofudelianshang。

jinjiezhe‘pa’deyisheng,wandiaozaidishangyingshengersui,taye‘puchi’yishenghounaoshaozhedi,shuaidetouyunyanhua。

“haonigebuzhihaodaidesiyatou!meiliangxindegoudongxi!laoniangjinikoufanchi!nibuzhidaoganen!jingganyongwanzalaoniang!”

liguixiangqidezuidouwaile,toufashanglianshangquanshizangxixidegoufan,mangyongyixiuca。

“nigemeidiemajiaoyangde!baijiafandouweibubaodebaiyanlang!laoniangjintianjiubangnidiemahaohaojiaoyujiaoyuni!”

zhoumazhe,pofulinzhuxiaoaliandeyiling,yangqibazhangjiuyaochouguoqu。

xiaoaliansuozhebozisesefadou,shuaidebuqing,gengbeihecongle。

zhengzaizheishi,cunzhangjiadeyuanmenturandakai。

laocunzhangjianyanqiandeqingkuang,yibajiuzhuaizhuleliguixiangdarendeshou,qiruhongzhongdeyishengnuhe:“nigesilaoniangmener!xiangzuosha?bushinishengdenibuxinteng!quebuquede?”

“dui!woquede!cunzhang,nibuquedenizigeeryangqua!ganmalazhewomendajiayiqiyang?”

pofushuangshouchayao,yifuyaodagansanbaihuihedejiashibailechulai。

“woqiantadiemamingle?haishiqiantamingle?pingshenmelaoniangjiudeshangkoufanjita?”

zheidongjingbuxiao,yixiazizuolinyoushededoubeiyinlechulai。

yourenyanjiandefaxianshuaihuaideneiwanshiermazijiadegouwan,lijiyourenbangcunzhangshuohuale。

“woshuoliguixiang,zheiwawagoukelianle,jinihanershenni!nibuxiangjitakoufanchi,bujijiushile,nijiwangoufanjiubupazaoleipi?”

zheihuabasuoyourendezhuyiliyindaoleneishuaihuaidewanshang。

“zhenshiquede,bujiugenwawadediemashengqianyoudianguojiema,renjialiangkouziyijingbuzaile,nizhiyuzheiyangzuojianrenjiawama?haidouzhanqindaigude。”

“taershen,zheimediandewanengchiduoshaoma!”

“jiushi,yinianyejiuyijialunsantian,womenpaizaiqianmian,yinianyecairangwawachisitianfan,duodadianshi。”

liguixiangzaicunlishuaqihenglai,meirenshiduishou,mianduizhuduozhize,tayanzhuziyideng,zhangkoujiuduilehuiqu。

“dui,nimenzheixiegeshushenerdoushixingshanjidedehaoren,nimenzheimeyoubenshiyoushanxin,linghuiquyanga!piaolianghuasheibuhuishuo!yigegezhuangshenmedaweibalang!”

qiongxiangpirangdedifang,sheidoubuyuanyijialiduozhangchifandezui。

“haole!doubiechaole!”

cunzhangjianxiaoyatouyanjinghongle,yaozhexiaozuichun,yingmeikuchulai,chileliangniandebaijiafan,beirenqifulezhidaomeidiematengle,buganku。

“dajiaxianghuchuanyisheng,mingzaojiudian,zhaokaiquancundahui,guanyuyangzheiwawadeshi,kaihuizaishuo。”

cunzhangshuowan,feiqiyijiaojiubashuaisuizaijiamenkoudegouwantikaile。

liguixianghaiyiweizheiyijiaoyaochaotashenshangzhaohu,hedemengwanghouyitui,jieguobeikuaishitoubanlejiao,yi**zuozailedishang,jinjiezhejiushiyishengshazhusidehaojiao:“aiyo——”

pofuzheiyi**ganghaozuozaibankuaigouwanshang,tongdedanqilaiwuzhe**zhitiao:“tengsiwole——”

顿时引起一阵哄笑。

“ersao,jiwachigoufan,baoyinglaidetaikuaileba!”

“哈哈哈哈……”

benlaihaihongzheyanjingdexiaoaliandoubeidouxiaole。

xiaoyatouzhanglezhangwanfentaoxidexiaoliandan,wuliuliudeyanjingyoudayouyuan,xiaoqilaihaiyoulianggexiaojiuwo,nengbarentianhuale。

cunzhangkandoumeikanyiyanguikulanghaodepofu,lazhexiaoyatoujinlezijiayuanzi,jiaojileziyiqishiduosuidelaoniang。

“ma,nibangwaxigelian,jitashengwanfan。”