第1章

番茄TV直播间。

yiweimingyandongrendenvshengzhengduizhejingtoutiantianweixiao。

“xiexiedajiadepengchanghexihuan,womenxiacijian,baibai。”

sinianshouqishouji,huyidi“ze”leyisheng,youcouguoquxiulexiu。

tatuozhexiaba,yanshenhuyi:

“xiaoweiwei,buduie,nishenshangyouguweidao?”

luqiaoweitiaomei,“shixiangshuiweima?”

“bushixiangshui,”sinianyaotou,yuqiduding,“shinanrendeweidao。”

“erqie,shineizhongbeihenhenweibao,xinmanyizu,yidiandoubuedeweidao。”

luqiaoweijiazheniuroudekuaizizaikongzhongdunledun,“niannian,nishigoubizime?”

sinianyibazhuazhutadeshouwan,guzuoyansu:“tanbaicongkuan,kangjucongyan。”

“weiwei,nibiechile,xianjiaodaiwenti。”

luqiaoweibuhuangbumangdijiangyikuaidiaolongzhanlezhanyoudie,songrukouzhong。

guozheshachajiangdeniurouzaishejianhuakai。

tayanxiahou,caimanyouyoudikaikou:

“niannian,gongxini,daduile,shinanrendeweidao。”

tataiqimeimou,muguangpingjing,“bijing,wojiehunle。”

“**!”

sinianjingdeshouyihua,shoujipadadiaozaidishang。

“jiehun?jieshenmehun?yanghunhaishiyinhun?heshei?shenxu?”

tacaichuchayizhou,jiubazijijiale?

haishijiajineigepituidezhanan?

luqiaoweitiaozhongdianshuo,“……bushishenxu。”

sinianzheicaisonglekouqi,wanyaojianqishouji。

“bushineigeguierzijiuxing……”

tagangzuoxia,youmengdifanyingguolai,“neiyebuxing!nidaodihesheijiehunle?”

ganggangshuailezhanan,bieyouxialeyandiaojinlingyige!

tazheijiemei16suibaosongqingbeijianzhuxi,23suijiunaguojidajiang,kanshejituzhideyanguangyiliu,kannanrendeyanguangqueshizailingrendanyou。

luqiaoweizhanglezhangzui,neigemingzijijiangtuokouerchu。

siniandeshoujixiangle,tazhikanleyiyanlaidianxianshi,shunjianzuozhishenti。

shizhidizaichunbianduiluqiaoweizuolegexudeshoushi,biaoqingyimiaobiandeguaiqiaowubi。

“小叔叔。”

“ng,haode,womashanghuijia。”

dianhuaguaduan,talikelinbaoqishen。

luqiaoweichayi,“niannian,nizheizoule?chushenmeshile?”

sinianxiaolianyikua,shengwukelian,“yanluowanghuilaile,lelingwolikehuiquchao《sanzijing》,buranjiutingwodeka!”

司念口中的阎罗王。

luqiaoweisuiranmeijianguo,danzaoyijiuyangdaming。

jusinianmiaoshu,cirenshiyinhendula、bujinrenqing、sibanwuqu。

tachangsixiatucao:“woxiaoshushuzheibeizizhudingshigelaoguanggun,sheishoudeletaneizhongwuqusibandenanren?”

luqiaoweizhuiwen:“nixiaoshushuhuilaile?zenmeyouyaochengfanile。”

sinianjieshi:“wobushichuchacaihuilaima?wozuotianjiuqiaobanle,meiyouqugongsi。buzhidaotayigedazongcai,weishenmeyaodiaochawoyigexiaolouloudekaoqin。”

luqiaoweipuchiyixiao,“da**,wokemeiyoujianguokaizhelanbojiniqushangbandexiaoloulou。”

sinianyilianqianyi,“haoweiwei,wozhendezoule!zaibuzou,wodexiaojinijiuyaobeihuishoule!”

tashuangshouheshi,bianzoubianhuitoudingzhu,“weixinlianxi,bixuyiwuyishijiwojiaodaiqingchu,woxianzoule。”

“爱你。”

“爱你。”

musongguimifengfenghuohuodilikai,luqiaoweikanzhemanzhuoweidongdecai,qingqingtanlekouqi。

tayemeileweikou,taishouzhaolaifuwuyuan:“mafandabao。”

fuwuyuanjiangshengxiadecaidabaohao,luqiaoweitizhedabaodaizouchucanting。

shoujizhendongqilai,tawunaideyaoyaotou,zheigeniannian,kaichedoubuanfen。

jieguo,naqishoujiyikan。

shishenxufalaidexinxi:【zainaer?】

luqiaoweimianwubiaoqingdihuifu:【yuniwuguan。】

然后,直接拉黑。

世界清净了。

shuoqilaifengciyoukexiao,tayongxintourexuewulesannianderen,shikuailanzaigenzilidefurou。

jingzaitajiadewuyanxia,yutadehaomeimei,gunzuoyituan。

shiqingbailu,tadeqinshengfumuzheimequanta:“nishijiejie,jiugairangzhemeimei。”

hao,tarang,fanzhengcongxiaodaodatadouzairang。

不差这一件。

zhidangxirizhenxinweilechailang,zhidangzijishishitoufenglibengchulaide,wufuwumu,jieranyishen。

jiranyijingfenshou,jiugaiduandeganjing。

hekuang,taxianzaishiyoufuzhifu,tayaoshounvde。

tamenjicongxiaodaodadoupianai,neibianqiaoguiqiao,luguilu。

congjinwanghou,tadebeihuanxile,shengsirongru,douyunei“yijiasankou”,zaiwuganxi。

jinjiezhe,siniandeweixinzhuileguolai:【shuohaodejiaodaini,yigexijiedoubunengluoxia!】

luqiaoweizhengzhunbeihuifu,pingmuqueturanyihei,shoujimeidianle。

guanjianshikemeidianle,youyaorangnianniandengzheni,yitadexiaoxingzikendinghuijisile。

huiquchaochao《sanzijing》,sihuyebucuo,momotajizaodexingge。

xiangdaozheili,neixiefannaomeile。

luqiaoweirenbuzhuxiaochusheng。

jintiantachuanleyixihongsezhangqun,luetoupanfa,moxiongchuwanzhezhezhou,xiongqianshicengdiedeheyebian,jingjianshiguabosheji,hongyufudepengzhuang,relieyoujiaomei,qiaruyejiansiyishengkaidehongmeigui,jingyanlezhengtiaojiedeshiguang。

tadeliandanjingzhixiaoqiao,pifubaixi,yingchunqiongbi,jiaonenyudi,zuihaokandemoguoyuneishuangganjueshikedouhanzheshuiguangdexingyan,canruchunhua,jiaoruqiuyuebuguoruci。

jieduimianheiselaosilaisinei,nanrenjingjingzhushizheneimoyaotiaodeshenying。

tahaoshihehongse,duomu、yaoyan,danshi,yihoudoubunengchuanchulaile。

她笑的那么开心。

shizaijizhaopianshangneigenanrenfaxinxima?

有那么好笑?!

tadouhaimeiyouguozheizhongdaiyu。

guoquyizhou,tameitiandouhuijitafaxinxi,jieguoshichendahai,wuyihuifu。

tazhidaoliangrenzanshimeiyouganqing,danshizheishiduoxianqita,caiyitiaodoubuhui。

sinanlinachushouji,zaisousuolanshuru:

【laopobuhuilaogongxinxi,daibiaoshenme?】

sousuochulaidejieguocitongletadeyan:

“yinweitabuxihuanni。”

“yinweitabuzaiyini。”

“yinweitameibanidanghuishier。”

“yinweitazhengzaihebaiyueguangliaotian,meigongfudalini。”

司南礼:“……”

白月光?

白你大爷!

meiyouyitiaoshitaxiangkandaodedaan。

taenxipingmu,rouleroumeixin,youwenjiashizuodechengji:

“chengzhuli,jiehunlema?”

chengjigongjinghuiying:“huisizong,jiehunyinianle。”

dangshihaishininqinzipidehunjia。

“hunhou,nimenhuiweixinlianxima?”

“kongxianshi,wohuizhudongjifurenfaxinxiwenhou。”

sinanlinandexianluchuhaoqi:“doufashenme?”

chengjilaoshijiaodai:“biruzaoshanghao,zhongwuhao,wanshanghao。chifanlema、xiabanlema、huijialema、zaimangmazhileide。”

“她回复你吗?”

“很少回复。”

sinanlicumei:“nimeiwenguoyuanyin。”

chengjilvexianganga,rushibingbao:“huisizong,wofurenshuo,wofadexinxisibanwuqu,tabuxianghui。”

司南礼再次沉默。

zheigedaan,tagengbuxihuan。

nandao,tayeshizheiyangderen?

chengjishiyingtixing:“sizong,furenyijingchulaile。”

sinanlishoulianxinshen,“ng”leyisheng,tuimenxiache。

yewandejingchenghaishiyouxieliangyi,luqiaoweitizhedaiziwangtadechezouqu。

yagenmeiyouzhuyidaoshenhouderen。

turan,yijiandaizheqingliemuzhixiangqidexizhuangwaitaopishangjiantou,tahedejinghuyisheng。

jiaoxiagaogenxieyiwei,zhongxinbuwendixianghoudaoqu。

yizhiyoulidedashouwenwenlanzhuletadeyao,dichenershuxidesangyinxiangqi:

“小心。”