第一章不要脸
shiye，hunandefangjianneimeiyouyisiguangliang，tineidezaoreranglinmuqingyishibiandegengjiahundun。
fangmenbeidakai，zaizheishenshoubujianwuzhidefangjiannei，linmuqingzhengkaimilideshuangmou，shitukanxiangneishengyindeyuantou。kehaimeilaidejikanqingheianzhongderenying，jiaoxiaodeshenshangturantuzengyimozhongliang，danneitizhongderequerangtazaiyimiaozhongdefankanghouzhudongyingleshangqu。
chunchijiaorong，biqiangneichuanlaidandandeyancaoxiang，benyingfangan，keneiqiweiqueranglinmuqingjuedeyichangshufu。
zhangyemanman，yishiyini。
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diertianyizao，qingchendeyangguangdaizheqianhuangsedeguangyuntoushezairouruandedachuangshang，linmuqingfanlegeshen，quebeishenxiadecitongjingxing，zhengkaishuangmou，ruyanbianshihaohuadeluodichuang，tengtongyijiujixu，shixianxiangxiakanqu，queranglinmuqingshunjianzhengdaleshuangmou，baixidepifushangheranjigeshenhongsedehenji，zhengchangrendounengkanchuneishiqingaihoudehenji。
linmuqingshituhuixiangzuowandeshiqing，danchuleneiyimodandandeyancaoweiwai，linmuqingzaixiangbuqiqitadeshiqing，yueshisisuo，yueshixiangbuqisifenhao，toutengyulie，yushourenbuzhufushangtaiyangxue，keshiquezaixiayimiao，yishengjudadekaimenshengjianglinmuqingdesixudaduan。
jingetaitou，biankandaolewuli，tadepopo。
haimeilaijishuohua，jiujianwuliyigejianbuchongdaoletademianqian，suihouyangshoujiujiletayibazhang，padeyisheng，yichangxiangliang。
qiaolianweiweicepian，wuheidexiufazhezhulelinmuqinghaokandemeiyan，lianjiashanghongzhongyipian，zhenzhayibandetengtongranglinmuqinglenglejimiao，suihoubukesiyiditaiqitou，xingmoukanxiangwuli，yuqizhongmanmandebukezhixin。
"ma?nizheishiganshenme?"
"bizui!biejiaowoma!womeiyounizheiyangdeerxifu，buyaoliande**!"
wuliyuba，yishuanghunzhuodeshuangmoudingzhelinmuqing，yanjiaodezhouwenyinfennuerweiweizhandou，calehenhoudezhifendelianzhengningwubi。
ruciwuyanhuiyushunzhekongqichuanrulinmuqingdeerzhong，ranglinmuqingdeqiaolianshunjianbiandecangbai，shengyinmingxiandoudaizheyisizhanyi。
"ma，nizaishuoshenme!"
"ayizaishuoshenmenibuqingchuma?shidaorujin，linmuqing，nihaizaizhuangshenmeqingchun?"
shuxideshengyinchuanrulinmuqingdeerzhong，kanxiangmenkou，chengsisizhengyibuyibuchaozhetazoulai。
linmuqingzhuailezhuaibeizi，shitujiangta**zaiwaideshentiquanbuzhezhu，chengsisineiyindudeshixianrangtayouyizhongbuhaodeyugan。
guobuqiran，xiayimiao，chengsisijiuzhanzailetademianqian，yibachekailinmuqingshenshangdebeizi，suihounachushoujikakadepailejizhangzhaopian。
biangulaidetaituranle，linmuqingwanquanlaibujifanying，chengsisiyijingdeyidejiangshoujifangzailexiangnaierbaobaoli。
"你做什么!"
dahouchusheng，linmuqingyuqizhongnanyiyanshidijinghuang，qishen，shituqiangguochengsisideshouji。kechengsisiyouzenmehuirutasuoyuan，kanzhepuguolaidelinmuqing，chengsisishenchushou，yibajianglinmuqingtuidao，suihouhemoushanguoyimoyane，bingxiangzhengxingdicenglecengshouzhang。
benjiuhunshensuantongdelinmuqingbeichengsisizheiyangyitui，wanquanmeiyoufangbeidixianghoudaoqu，erhouzhenggerenbiancongchuangshangshuaidaoledishang，putongyisheng，etouzhuangzailedibanshang，diandianxuejishunzhebaixideetouliuxia，huaguoxinidepifu，huijuzaixiabachu。
ruciyishuai，shenxiadejutonggengjiamingxian，ranglinmuqingrenbuzhushenchusisilenghan。fuzaidishang，jiujiumeiyouqishen。shenhouchuanlaiwulideshengyin。
"linmuqing，xiangnizheiyangangzangdenvrengenbenpeibushangwomenjiachangfeng，bazheifenlihunxieyiqianle，likaichangfeng!"
ziziruduzhen，cidelinmuqingermoshengteng，gangtaiqilian，yigebaisedewenjianbianzaleguolai，sihaomeiyouliqiduoshan，linmuqingjiurenyoutazazaitadelianshang。kandoubukanneiwenjian，linmuqingtaiqitou，yingshangwulidemuguang，dahou。
"我不离婚!"
wenyan，wuliyizhangdouzhezhifendelaoliangengjiazhengning。
"nibuliyedeli，zheiyoubudeni!"
linmuqingzuanzhewenjiandexiaoshouweiweisuojin，gujiefanbai，shixianchujidaowenjianshangluchangfengdemingzi，juewangyouxinerqi。
chengsisiwanzhewulidegebo，jugaolinxiadikanzhelinmuqing，lenghengyisheng，edudehuayucongneihongruxuebandechunzhongchuanchu。
"linmuqing，nibiejingjiubuchichifajiu，shinixianhebiedeyenanrenxiagao，duibuqichangfeng。erqiewoyijingpailezhaopian，ruguonibutongyi，wojiubanide**gongzhiyuzhong!"