第1章 废物女婿

林江城,龙心小区。

handangtuikaimen,linxinyiyijiayijingkaichile,tamomodequchufangshenglefan,ranhouzuozaizhuozidejiaoluo,chulebianyilaopolinxinyikanletayiyan,qitarendoudangtabucunzai。

“caibugouchile,handang,niquchufangzaiquchaogecai!”

xiaoyizilinxinwanxianglaibushigehaoshuohuade,duizhehandangshigengshidangyongrenshihuan。

“我去吧!”

linxinyifangxiawanjiuzhunbeiqishen,quebeilinmuyigeyanshenzhizhizhule。

“e,meishi,wolai!”

handangjiangyiqiedoukanzaiyanli,weileburanglaoponanzuo,wusuoweidexiaolexiao,bianfangxiawanbianzhibenchufang,qiecai、shaoyou,shuliandehen。

“xinyia,woqianduanshijianhenishuode,niyoumeiyoufangzaixinshang,renzheigefeiwufangzaijiali,shenmedoubuhui,haibuchuquzhaogongzuo,yihousheijiwomenyanglao!”

linmufangkaihoulongshuodao,guyiranghandangtingdao。

“jiushi,jie,wodoubuhaoyisiduiwaimianshuo,linjiangdiyimeinvlinxinyidelaogongshigechiruanfande,zheirangduoshaofujiagongzixintongwanxiya。”

“xiacaoshenmexin,chinide。”

linxinyiqiaoleqiaomeimeidexiaonaodai。

“bierendoushuo,nvxushizhangmuniangjiadebangeerzi,keshinikan,jintianshiwodeshengri,jieguoshenmeliwudoumeiyouzhunbei,chulefangjianmenjiushiyaochide。”

“ma,handangjinizhunbeiliwule,zaiwofangjianli,woranghandangquna!”

linxinyizoudaochufang,zaihandangerbianxiaoshengshuolezhufuleliangju。

“shanggexingqiwomaileyitiaojinlianzi,niqunalaisongjimaba!”

“哦,好的。”

linxinyizhidaohandangzaojiumeiqianle,zhuanmenzuolezhunbei。

“妈,生日快乐!”

handangnazhejinlianzi,xianglexiang,haishibishangyanweizheitiaolianzijiachileyicengzhenqi,jinlianzihuozhebuzhijigeqian,danhandangjiachidezhenqiqueshizheifanshinanqiudedongxi,nenggouzhujianyanhuanjitishuailao。

sheizhilinmukanleyiyanbiandiuzaizhuoshang,lengxiaodao:“bienazheiqianbakuaidedongxihunongwo,zheimexidejinlianziwoxihanma?!”

“ma,zenmeshuoyeshihandangdeyidianxinyi,ninzenmenengzheimeshuo?”

linxinyijiancijideyanleidouyaochulaile。

“jiutazheigefeiwuhaiyouxinyi,xinyi,dangchushimabuhao,bizhenijiehun,keniyebunengzhaogezheiyangdefeiwuba,dengxiakejigongsidezhouzongyaolaiwomenjiazuoke,nihaohaokaolvyixia!”

munvliangzheixiehuadoushidangzhehandangdemianshuode,dantabingbuzaiyi,ruguozijizhendebeiganzou,yesuanshilejieleyiduanyuanfen。

sannianqian,handangzhongyucongshidazongpaidejuelingsuohunzhenzhongtaotuochulai,bishiyishifanrenroutaidetabeilinxinyisuojiu,zheicaiweishenyulinjia,erjintian,tadedantianqihaizhongyuyouleyisidehuifu,zaicichenggongjinruxiantianjingjie,fanrendebaiyan,duitalaishuoyousuandeleshenme?

“爸,妈,尝尝。”

handangbazuohaodecaibaizaizhuoshang,sihaobuzaiyigangcaiyuemuhexiaoyizideduihua,sannianlai,zheiyangdexianqiyebushiyiciliangcile。

gentadefuchoudayebiqilai,zheidianweiqubusuanshenme。

“wochibaole,nimenchiba!”

yuefulinguoweifangxiawankuai,qishenqushinongzijidehuahuacaocaole。

“我也吃饱了!”

linmuhenhendenglehandangyiyan。

“tiantiankanzhezheigefeiwu,qidouqibaole,haichishenmechi!”

“weidaohaibucuo,jiefuqishiyebushiyiwusuochu,qimacaishaodebucuo!”

linmuyoudengleyiyanzijidexiaonver,gangcaihaihezijitongyizhanxiande,buguowenzheweidao,queshixiang。

zhishishuochuqudehua,linmuyoubuhaoyisizhongxinzuoxialai。

“你多吃点。”

handangjilinxinyijialexie,zijizhenqigangganghuifu,zaichaocaideshihouteyishiyongzhenqijiachi,yincinapashipingchangdeshucai,duochiyidian,yeshiyouyishenxinde。

xiuzhenzhirenenyuanjieshiyuanfa,yienbaoen,yizhibaoyuan,fangdeshizhong。

“bieguangguzhechi,denghuieryouguikeshangmen,handang,jidebazhuozicahaole,wanyexile。”

林母说道。

“liayi,linshushu,xiawuhaoa!”

handanggangbazhuozishoushiganjing,yigeshuaixiaohuoerjiutuimenjinlaile,xizhuanggelv、wenzhibinbin,kanqilaiyangguangcanlan。

“aiyo,shizhouqiangba,kuaijinlaizuo,laijiulaile,haidaineimeduoliwu!”

linmulianmangqujiezhouqiangshoulidelipin。

“xinyi,kuaiqudaocha,zhouzongkeshikejichuangyegongsidelaozong,nianjiqingqingyijingshenjiaqianwanle。”

handangzhudongdaoleyibeichadijizhouqiang。

“zheiweishi……”zhouqiangxiezheyanshangxiadaliangzhehandang,yigubuxiedebiaoqing。

“e,ayizhiqianhenishuoguode。”

林母连忙眨眼睛。

“e,xinghuixinghui!tingayishuonidefancaishaodebucuo?zhenghaoyuangongtiantiandianwaimaibujiankang,gongsixiangzhaogezuofande,ruguoniyuanyi,keyiqushishi。”

“buyongle,wozaijiatinghaode。”

韩当脸色平静说道。

“shenmetinghaode!renjiazhouzongkenyongnizheigefeiwu,shiniderongxing,nikannishenmedoubuhui,haiyaowomenyangni!”

linmuqijibaihuaidehoudao,yebuguanyoumeiyouwairenzai。

handanglianxiashuangmou,mobuzuosheng,xiangzheizhongchaofengtayijingsikongjianguan,duitameishenmeyingxiang。

“liayibuyaoshengqi,meigerendouyouzijideyuanfen,hanxiaodinenggenxinyisannian,kendingshizuipizishangmianbijiaolihai,buguowojiubuyiyang,zhiyaoxinyigenwo,linjiangchengsanhuanneidefangziyitao,baomacheziyiliang,zheishizuijibendezunzhong。”

zhouqiangshuohuadeshihou,yanjingdoumeiyoulikaiguolinxinyi。

linxinyiqueshipiaoliang,jingzhidewuguan,napashichuanzhejiachangbianfuyezheyanbuzhudexiuzhangshuangtui,wanmeidehuangjinbili,yijiyoumeideshencaiquxian,congtadiyiyankandaokaishi,biananzizhemi。

dangran,liguohundenvrenjitadangzhengqishibukenengde,dandangjinsiqueyiyangyangzhe,suishidounengwanwandaoshixiangxiangdoujuedecijideshi。

“hehe,neishineishi。”

linmutingdexinhuanufang,takebuzhidaozhouqiangsixiadexiangfa,henbudexianzaijiubahandangganzou,rangzhouqiangqulenver。

“linayi,woteyijinizhunbeileshengriliwu。”

zhouqiangdakaiqizhongyigelipinhe,limianshiyikuaifeichangdadepuyu,haimeiyoujinxingqiegedeyuanyu。

“zheikuaiyushikeshiwoteyiqushichangtaolaide,zhiyaojiagongguohou,jiunengjiazhibaiwan。”

zhouqiangdeyiyangyangdejieshaodao,tongshihaishuoleyidaduideyushililunzhishi。

congwaibiaokan,queshishihunranyitideqingyu,danshihandangshuangmuyishan,jiukanqingleyushideneibujiegou,zhouqiangbuguoshixiangmainongshenfen,youbuxiangzhendehuadajiaqian,yincinongyixiehuaerbushidedongxilaixianbai。

linmuxianranbeihongdekaixinbuyi,pengzheyuanyurutongxinganbaobei。

“zhouzongzhenshikeqile,zheichushouyetaikuochuole!bubimouxieren,nageqianbakuaidepolianzijiuxiangchushou。”

“polianziweibibuzhiqian,youdehuashangjiqianwandoumaibudao,yushijiuweibizhiqian,shuobudingzhendeshijishikuaimailaide。”

handangnaqiyushikanlekan,suishourengzailezhuozishang。

“handang,nibuyaoluanshuohua,xiaoxindianbiebayushinonghuaile。”

linxinyicishirengzaixiaoxinweihuzhehandangdezizun,danyerenweitayoudiantaixiaoxinyanle。

“xinghande,nizijiqiong,jiubiebarenjiaxiangxiangchengheniyiyang,renjiazhouzongshishenmeshenfen,huiquezheidianxiaoqian?”linmuwanquanshiyijingbazhouqiangdangchenglezijidenvxule。

“liayibuyaoshengqi,hanlaodijianshiqianbo,jiubuyaozeguaitale。”

zhouqiangmaizheikuaishitouqueshishicongshichangshangmailaide,buguoyeshihualedajiwan。

zhouqiangzhengzaijilinxinwanchailiwu,tazheicaifaxian,zheiweixiaoyiziyeshiyigelebudedemeinv,yinciyinqindejin,buguozheishituranlaileyizhenchuitangfeng,neiyushihualahualagundaozhuozibianyuan,padeyishengliekaile!

handangjuqishuangshou,takemeiyoudongshou,napatazhidaozheikuaishitoushijiayu,tayemeixinsihetamenyizhenggaoxia。

linmulianmangshangqiannaqiliangbandeyushi,zhengyaodashengchizehandang。

“yi,nimenkan,zheilimianbushiyua!”

linxinwanmeixinmeifeidedashengshuodao。

zheiyisheng,zhouqianghelinmutongshisebian。

guoran,chulewaimianmochudecuilvwai,limianjingranzhishiputongdeshitou,canbaideyanserutongcishizhouqianglianshangdeshense。

“这……”

zhouqiangdunshiyouxieyumenle,gengshiyizhenxintong,nandaozijibeijingrankanzouleyan?danzheishihoudangranbunengsongle,zhinengyiyaoya,congdoulitaochuyizhangkazhijiepaidaolezhuoshang:“bomu,kanlaiwoshibeisanjiujieshangdeyushizhaijihuyoule,buyaojin,zheizhangkaliyoushiwankuai,suanshiwojininbudeheshouli!mimashixinyideshengri!”