第1章 一家子奇葩

“shuaiguoguo,woxiageyueyaodaibiaowomendiancanjiaquanqiudechushidasaiqu!”yeqingyanggangbazheigehaoxiaoxigaosunanpengyou,yizhenrangrenerduoshicongdemingdishengturanxilai。

“gazhi——”yishengcierdechacheshengxiangqi,yeqingyanghunshentengtong,manmandeyishimihuqilai……

tanulidezhengkaiyan,kandaozhanzaizhouweiderendoumengmenglonglong,bibihuahua,keshitaquetingbudaotamenzaishuoshenmehua……

tajuedeyanpihaozhong,zenmenulidoutaibuqilai,buhuiyaosileba?danshitamingmingganjuebudaotongni?

chuantonggubandejianzhudashizhuanjialaoba,yijichizhashangjiefengyundeshangmaogongsiceolaoma,zhongyutongyiletazainaxiazheicichushidasaijinjiangzhihou,jiunengheneigeqiongxiaozijiehuna,takeshijianchihelaobalaoma“kangzhan”wuniancaiyoujintiantamendetuoxiea!

……

“niang——wuwuwu——niang——”xiaonvhainaishengnaiqidewuyansheng。

“kugepi!siyatoupianzipeiqianhuo,gennineiniangyigechoudexing,jiuzhidaokuakua,zhuangkelianjisheikan?!”yikoutumoxingzibeicuilexiaonvhaijiaoshang。

xiaonvhaidanqieqiedetinglekusheng,danshihaishirenbuzhudechouye。

“zhenshiyuelaiyuehuizhuangxiangle!gancuiquxibanzigenrenquchangxiba,buyongxuejiunengzhuang!tianshengde!”tuhuangshanzidezhongniannvrenbaozheshuangbei,piezuixieyanmanhengdekaozaimenkuangshang。

“tazhuangsijiuzhuangsi,zhenyaoshisile,jiugancuilachuqumaile,sileganjing,wozaojiuchouzhetaaiyan。”laotaitaiyilianpingjing,xianqidechaozhetangzaidishangmanliancangbaidenvzikanleyiyan。

“niang,nishuozheilaosanxifuer,chulezhuangxiangjiushizhuangyunde,haizhengenxicishangchangdeyiyangle,tazhennazijidangdahurenjiaxiaojiele。”tuhuangshanzhongniannvrenpiezuimadao。

cishideyeqingyang,jiuneiyangmiansecangbai,zuichunjinbi,meishaoweizhoudebantangzaidishang。

yeqingyangpangbianshouzhedenianqingnanren,manliandejiaojihewunai,taningbazaiyiqideneishuangmeimaoxianglianggenmahua。

“kannineimeichuxideyanger!tachuleliandanhaokandian,haiyoushenmehaode?taruoshisile,niangzaijiniquyifangxifuer——”xiaojiaolaotaitaimanliandezhouwen,xiangshiqiurilishengkaidejuhua,neiduisanjiaoxiaoyaner,xiangjilewangbakanzhedelvdou。

“xingle!shengzi,niquzhaogelangzhonghuilai。shengdesile,womeiyinzizaijiniquqinle。”dunzaibuyuanchudelaoyeziyilianyansudeshuodao。

nianqingnanzitingdaolaoyezidezheijuhua,zuiliyingzhesheng,renyijingfeikuaidepaodaodamenwaimianqule。

“meichuxidewanyier。”xiaojiaolaotaitaipailepaizijiqingsebushanshangdechentu,chaozhemenkoumalieliedeshuodao。

yuanzilianjingxialai,xiaoyuanmenkoupangdezhalanshang,pamanlesiguatengman,siguajiazixiamianzhongzhemanmandangdangdeshucai,lvdehuanggua,hongdexihongshi,zideqiezi,haiyouyidapiandeluobujiecai——yinweizuiduoerzuireyan。

“niang,laosanxifueryizhunerjiushizhuangsini,zheimebantianhaibuxinglai,zanmendouzaizheibianpeizhe?wohuiwuqu,landelita。”zhongniannvzishuoba,niuzheyaozhidehuilebeishangfangqule。

laotaitaiyehenbunaifandedunanglejiju,maizhexiaojiaoerhuilebeishangfangqule。

laoyeziyijiudunzaidishang,badabadadechouzhehanyaner,tamizheyanjing,lianshangyemeishenmebiaoqing。

shouzaiyeqingyangpangbiandelianggehaizi,xiaoxinyiyidezhanzaineili。

“aiya,shengzi,nikebielawole,wozheilaogebolaotuierde,jinbuqinizheimezhetenga。qiebushuozheixiele,niniangshangcikanbing,zhenfeidoumeiji——”

langzhongdehuahaimeishuowan,tayijingzhanzaiyangjiamenkoule,tajianlelaoyezizhengdunzaiyuanzilichouhanyan,buqingyuandezhulekou。

“langzhongdabo,zhenshixinkuninle,ninganjinjiqiaoqiao。”shengzigubushangneimeduole,tazhendeshidanxindeyaomingle,talazhelangzhongzhibenyeqingyangbantangzhededifang。

langzhongfangxiayaoxiang,naleruandian,jiezhebiandaledamai。

“zenmeyang?”shengzijibukenaile,tamanliandejiaolv。

langzhongshouhuileshou,shunbianyejiunahuileruandian,dishengshuodao,“shiyemeishenmedashi,zheigehaoban,zhihaohaoyangyangshenzi,jiumeishenmedaaile。”

shengzitingba,neizhangxiaomaisedelianshang,dunshixiusaochuyipianhong,taxinlimingbaidehen,xifuershichibubaoede,zaibeilaoniangyibatuidao,lianedaishuaijiuhunguoqule。

“die——zheizhenfei——”shengzijianlangzhongzhunbeiyaolikaile,tajiuzhuanshenzouleliangbu,zhanzailelaoyezibuyuanchu。

jiuzaizheishihou,beishangfangdebulianzituranbeiliaokai。

“yaoqianmeiyouyaomingyitiao!”laotaitaixiongbabadehoudao,“wokemeirangniqinglangzhongqu,fandouchibushangle,haiyouqianqinglangzhong?nixifuerdemingjiuneimezhiqian?niqinnianglaozitoutengnaoredoumeikanguolangzhong!”

“laosan!nijiushigewonangfei!”zhongniannvzibangqianghandao,manliandefenfenbuping,jiuhaoxianghualetadeqianchiletadeliang。

“de,fanzhengwomeikaiyaofang,wohaishizouba。”langzhongwunaidekuxiao,yaoleyaotou,linzheyaoxiangjiuwangwaizoule。

shengzimanlianganga,tazhinengkuaibudezhuishanglangzhong,shuolexiehaohua,songzoulelangzhong。

“laosan!bierangneigesangmenxingzaineitingshi!huiqi!ganjinhuinimendecaopengqu!”laotaitaihoudao,neishuangxiaoyanjingbengshechudejiansuankebo,bujinrangshengzidanqie,liantonglianggehaiziyehedejinruohanchan。

shengzixiaoxinyiyidejiangyeqingyangbaoqilai,huilecaopeng。

yeqingyangjuedetouhunaozhang,hunshenwuli,zuiyaomingdeshitajuedemantiandouxiangshizaixiajinziyuyiyang,yanpishizaitaizhongle,tayongjinlequanshendeliqi,zhongyusuanshizhengkaileshuangyan。

“青阳!”

“娘!”

nanrenhehaizibuyueertongdeweilongguolai,nanrenyanzhongdeguanxinlianxihewunai,haizimenyanzhongdetongzhenheqidai,yeqingyangshunjianlengzhule。

“nimen——wozheishi——”

“qingyang,nibieshengqi,shiwobuhao,danshiniangshizhangbei——”shengzidelianshangyoushiyizhendekusewunai。

“niang,wojinidaodianshuihe,nibiezheji。”xiaonanhaigewaidongshideshuodao。

yeqingyangdeneixinshunjianjiubentengchulaiyiqianwantoucaonima,qishibangbodefeichierguo。

zoucuopianchangle?zuomengni?haishichuanyuele?

taqiaoqiaodiyongdamuzhizhijiayaleyixiashizhideshouzhiduer,sisi,henteng。wandan,tazheishichuanyuele。

“laosanxifuer?nixinglejiubiezhuangrouruole,ganjindechulaizuowanfanle!”caopengwaichuanlaileyidaojiansuandenvrendeshengyin。