第3章 讽刺

jianningtuozhexinglixiang,manwumudedizaijiedaoshanghuangdanglelianggexiaoshi。taxianghuiniangjia,keshi,lihundeshitahaimeigenjialirenshuo,fusiwenyusuniandegouhezhenderangtameilianshuochuzui,zuihou,jianningqulexiazhiyudejia,tadelingyigeguimi。

butongyusunianzheigebanluguimi,jianningyuxiazhiyushicongxiaoyiqizhangdade,zhishigaozhongbiyehouxiazhiyuquleguowailiuxue,zheiliangniancaihuiguojiuye。

dangjianningqiaokaixiazhiyudefangmenshi,xiazhiyuchuanzhexinggandeshuiqun,shuiyanxingzhong,yifuhaiweishuixingdemoyang。

kandaojianningyishenshengzhuang,shouliquetuozhexinglixiang,xiazhiyuroulerouyan,jingchayouyihuo,“ningbao,nizheishinaonachu?nixiandenghuier,wonanpengyouhaizailimian,worangtaxianchuanhaoyifunizaijinlaiha。”

jianningchayi,“nigenluchengfengbushifenshoulema?nimenfuhele?”

“bushi,nishenmeshihoujianwochihuitoucao?”xiazhiyuwumeideyishuaizhangfa,“zheishiwozuotiangangjiaodexinnanyou,huitoujieshaojinirenshi,takeshuaile。ningbaoguaiha,dengwomenjifenzhong。”

shifenzhonghou,xiazhiyuzaidakaimenshi,tayijinghuanhaolequnzi,haihuahaolezhuangrong,zhenggerenfenwaidewumeidongren。

“ningbao,kuaijinlai。”xiazhiyubangjianningbaxinglitijinlai。

jianningjinwu,yitaitou,biankandaolexiazhiyukouzhongdexinnanyou。

nanrenzhengyizaiyangtaidazhedianhua,shenzhangyuli,baichenshengxue,yangguangxia,meimuruhua,canruoxingchen,cuicanderangrenbuganzhishi。

jianningmodezhuzu,zhenggebeijishunjianjiangying,youshoujihutiaojianfanshebandewuzhulezuoshoushizhishangdeneimeizuanjie。ranhou,xiayimiao,zhuanshenjiuzou。

“ningbao,jinijieshaoxia,zheishigujichu……yi,renni?”xiazhiyuzhengyaoxiangjianningjieshao,yiniutou,shenhouyijingmeilejianningdeshenying,xiazhiyuganjinzhuichuqu,bianjianjianningzhengzaixialouti,jiaobuhenlingluan,“ningbao,niganmaturanzoua?”

xiazhiyudehuhuan,querangjianningzoudegengkuaile。

xiazhiyushenganjianningqingxubudui,shizaibufangxindeta,lijichengdiantixianjianningyibudaoleyilou,ranhoulanzhuleliansecangbaidejianning,“ningbaonidaodizenmele?”

jianningdeqixiyijingwanquanwenluan,“wo……woturanxiangqixuexiaohaiyoushi,wodeganjinquchuliyixia。”

xiazhiyuyiting,zheicaishaoshaofangxin,“kanbanidoujijide,diantidoubucheng,fandaoqupaolouti,paodezheimantoudahan。”xiazhiyutaishoujiuqujijianningcaetoushangdehanshui,muguanglimanshixintengheguanxin。

jianningzhengzhengdekanzhexiazhiyu,turanyibajiangtabaozhu,“yubao,wozhishengniyigepengyoule。dayingwo,womenyidingyaohaohaode。”

xiazhiyubeibaodemomingqimiao,danhaishiqingroudepaipaijianningdehoubei,dao:“fangxin,womenlianghuishiyibeizidehaopengyou。haiyou,nidaodizenmele?”

jianningfangkaita,manmubeishang,“yubao,wolihunle。”

xiazhiyuzhenjing,suijizhennu,“wojiuzhidaonimenchizaohuilihun,wozaogennishuoguosunianjiushiyilvchabiao,nipianbuxin,zheixiachidakuileba,bienanguo,huitouwobangnishoushita。”

jianningdiandiantou,turanbiziyouxiesuan,“bushuole,wozhendeyaozoule。nihuiquba,ninanpengyouta……haizailoushangni,bierangtajiudeng。”

xiazhiyudao:“hao,huitouwozaizhaoni,womenyiqiqushoushineiduigounannv。”

jianningjixudiantou,shengyinyijinggengyan:“nikuaihuiba,haohao……haohaoaita。”shuowan,jihushipaozhelikai。

fanhuadejiedao,chelaichequ,renlairenwang,jianningquekanbujiangengtingbujian,tajixiedechaoqianzouzhe,zouzhezouzhe,yijingleiliumanmian。

genfusiwenlihun,tameiyoudiaoguoyidilei,keshidangtazaixiazhiyujialikandaogujichuzhihou,tadeleixianbianxiangshiqulezikonggongneng,yanleipinmingdewangwailiu,zuihoujianningbaozheshuangtui,dunzaimalubiankudeganchangcunduan。

……

huadengchushang,chengshideye,zhizuijinmi。

jianningyouyicilaidaolezuowandejiuba,hedebizuowanhaixiong。

yigepiaoliangzhijidedanshennvrenzaijiubalimaizui,haowuyiwen,huizhaolaiyidaduixiangyaoyiqinfangzedehudiefengmi,shanglaidashanderen,yiboyouyibo,nannannvnvshuaidejingdequandouyou,danjianningtongtongbuxieyigu。

weimizhemizuideyan,jianningzhaixiazhishangdejiezhi,fangjinjiubei,heyikou,sabianqianyifen,ranhoujiezhibianluyifen。

“laoshi,gulaoshi,gujichu……”jianningwuzininan,meihuanyisheng,xinbiangengtongyifen。

ganggang,takandaotalema?

yinggaimeiyouba,buranzenmehuimeizhuichulaini?

“weishenme,weishenmenihuilaidaozheigechengshi?erqiehaichenglewozuihaodepengyoudenanpengyou。”jianningyishunbushundedingzhejiubeilidejiezhi,zaiyebuxiangdaishangshou。

上天,真是讽刺!

chenjinzaibeishanglidejianning,bingmeiyouzhuyidao,zaijiubadevipqu,liuqigezhezhuanggaojishangdangci、yikanjiuzhishishehuijingyingrenshideyingjunnanren,zhenghenyouxingqudezaidingta。

“zege,nikan,neibushinizuowandaizoudeneigenvrenma?”

“shiya,tayoulaile,shuobudingjiushizhuanmenlaidengzegenide。”

“zege,nibuguoquma?”

“zege,shibushishangguole,jiumeixingqule,nibushang,woshanglee?”

“nixiangsima,zegedenvrenniyeganxiaoxiang,zegehaimeifahuani,zegenidaoshishuojuhua,xiongdiwoyedengbujile。”

zhongrenzhongxingpengyuebandeweizhezhongjianyiminglengruobingshanqichangqiangdadenanren,niyiyan,woyiyu,fengchengzhongdaizheshitan。doushiyiqunyouqianyoushiyoushilidehaomenshijiazidi,baitianzaigezidelingyulichizhafengyun,wanshangbianhuichulaihejiujuhui,paoniuxiangle,jiurucike。

“bizui!”yishoudazaiyibeishang,zitaiyonglanyoumirendenanren,zhongyuqingqichun,lenglengtuchuliangzi。

桌上,顿时噤声。

ranhou,zaizhongrenzhenjingdemuguangxia,huosizefangxiajiaodiedeshuangtui,qishen,duanzhejiubei,yishouchadou,zouxianglejianning。