第4章
guolexietian，woshoudaochengqiyudelaixin，tashuoyaowanxiehuijing，xibeizaiminzhongduo，tayaoguoqujiuzhuyixie。
chengqiyuzheigerena，chulejingshangdetounaowai，bandianbuxiangshangren。
woqibijitahuixin，silianglexujiuyebuzhigaishuoshenme，zuizhonghaishimeiyouluobi。
dadiyouguolebangeyue，huangdixielezuijizhao，chanhuizijidebuzu，yuanchizhaisanri，tubuqianwangjingshentaiqingqiushenmingxinu。
huangdichujienaidashi，baixingguizaijiekou，qianmianshiyipairenqiang，songyuxiansuyisanfazouzailushang。
tianqiyinchen，tianshangwuyunmibu，fengyuyulai。
huangdizoudaojingshentai，bailesanbai，erzheishiyishengjuxiang，wocongcaozaderenqunzhongzhongyutingqingfashengdeshi：qiankungongbeileipile。
dengshibaoyuqingpenerxia，woduodaowuyanxiabiyu，kanzheshentaishangshihunluopodehuangdi，kanzheluanzuoyituandedachen，kanzhezazaidishangdeyudian。
wobushiyigexiangxinguishenderen，kerujin，wozhendeyouxiexinyoushiyudaodeneigelaodaoshi。
tashuosongshuyanshitianshengdehuangming，ruotazuoshanghuangwei，tianxiacaikean。
songshuyanfanghuoshaoxibei，bashudilie。
songshuyandasuanshaohuanggongcitang，wohaixiaotazhihuifanghuozheiyizhongfangfa，tianleijiujiangqiankungongpikai。
连老天都在帮他。
huangdicanghuanghuigong，yuelaiyueduoderenkaishichuansongyuxiandanghuangdi，cangtianbuyun。
yirishangchao，songshuyanjiangchenwangfudabancaikuanjuanchuyichongyingguoku，youshangshushuofushangchengqiyuyuanzaixibeixiezhuzhenzai，qifurenwanshijintuotajuanchusanqianliang。
zheishizaozaishangchaozhiqianjiubeiwosanbochuqu，chengqiyunianqingyouwei，guonandangtouyimadangxian。
dangran，zheixieyuanyuanbugou。
bashunanmintaocuansizhougesheng，jiaodebaixingwufazhengchangshenghuo，xibeiliumindapiyongrujingcheng，beizulanzaijingchengmenwai，songshuyandajiannanminyingzanshiwendingnanminqingxu。
dazaizhihoubiyoudayi，worangrenchuanhuajisongshuyanyidingyaojiaqiangbashudidaiderenyuanfangshou，duoyunxiecaoyaoguoqu。
chuanhuaderenhuilaishuochenwangqianyitianyijingpairenqule。
worangmuqingshoushihaodongxi，daizhebaogeerdasuanqianwangxinjie，zheishimeiyoushengzhang，xunlegepingchangdeyewanqiaoqiaolikai。
bieyuanwaizaoyoumachezaideng，waiguanputongneishiquehaohuazhiji。
muqingjingjingdigenzhewoshangqu，tabidingnengkanchuzheibingfeichengfudeche，wojiantahuangusizhouyoumobuzuoshengdebaozhebaogeer。
womenyiludouweicengjiaotan，macheraolehenduolucaidaoxinjie，muqingjianghaizidijiwo，xianxingxiache，youfuzhewoxiaqu，xinjiemenkouyoulianggeyahuanzaideng。
“wanguniangan，wangyepaiwomenlaihuguniangzhouquan。”
zheiliangrenworenshi，huashishuojimuqingtingde，guoranmuqingtingjianwangyeerziliansechenlexiaqu。
“进屋里伺候吧。”
wotiqunzoujinqu，wuneibeidasaodeganganjingjing，haifanglexiemeihuaduoledianxinyi。
zhaizilijiawoyigongzhiyousiren，wozhanzaiyuanzhongduizheqiheideyesedao：“meiwodeyunxurenherenbuxujinruhouyuan。”
是说给暗卫听的。
yifanshiduoyijingdaolehoubanye，muqinghongshuilebaogeerlaidaowodefangjianjiwodaolebeirecha，tayouyuxujiucaimanmanzoudaowogenqian，youchiyileyihuicaikaikou：“shaofurenyaoyushaoyehelima？”
wodaoshimeixiangdaotanengrucizhibai，chenyindao：“huide。”
“shaoyeyibiaotangtang，dairenqinhe，youjiacaiwanguan，shaofurenyushaoyezaiyiqibuhuibi…”
tashuodeyankuangdouhongle，shuodaoyibanyoutingzhu。
haibusuansha，zhidaowaitouyourenshouzhe，zhidaogeqiangyouer。
chengqiyushuomuqingshitazaichongzaishijianhuilaide，shoushouxiaoxiaodeyigedunzaijiaoluokanzheneixierenqiangduoweiyideshiwu。
tayuanbenyiweishinanhai，linghuilaiquefaxianshigeguniang。
nannvshoushoubuqin，jiufangzaibieyuanzuogeyahuan，youyinweinianjixiaoganbulezhonghuo，meitianjiuyangyanghuanongnongcao，xingzidanchunbuaiyurenzhengqiang，haisuanlinglideyigexiaoguniang，fangzaiwoshenbianhuoxunengtaoxi。
wolatazuoxia，wenta：“nikouzhongdeshaoyeneimehao，neiwoni？”
“shaofurenzhangdehaokanyoucongming，danziyeda，busiqitade**zongkukutiti，ziranyeshijihaode。”
“keshiwojiaguorentuiguohun，shenziangzang，xingzihenli，shoushangzhanleshubuqingduoshaorendexue，jiuzheiyanghaipeideshangchengqiyuma？”
muqingdiaoxialei，chezhewodexiuzi：“shaofurenxianzaibushizheiyangde…”
“ruoshilianbaogeerdoubushichengqiyuqinshengdeni？”
wojiangmuqingdaduan，tadaidaidekanzhewo，yanzhonghaidaizhelei。
tamanyandebukezhixin，songkaizhuazhuwoxiuzideshou，nannan：“zen…zenmehui？”
“muqing，ruwozheibanderen，yuchengqiyuheli，yutashixing。”
woangzangbukan，xinsiwochuo，yutianxiameiyoubeiminzhixin，yuhuangquanyiwujingweizhiqing。
wosuoqiusuoyuanwufeijiushirangneigouhuangdixiatai，fusongshuyanshangwei。
zhiyousongshuyandengshanghuangwei，suanyancainengbeifengshezhengwang。
我就能嫁给苏安宴。
baozhetadelingwei，zhaoyigeyangchunsanyuedejishi，qujiajita。
neitiandeyangguanghuihenhao，weifengbuzao，manjingchengdedaguanxianguidouhuilaihexi。
wohuichuanzhexifu，huazhejingzhidezhuangrong，yibuyibuzouxiangta，yutabaiguotiandi。
结成夫妻。
wozaixinjiedailehenjiu，zhongtuchenwangfulairenjiangbaogeerdaizou，muqingjianwomeishengxiangbianyebuzhisheng，zhishihongzheyankuangmomoshoushilehaoxiewujian，youbaolehaoyihuicairangrendaizou。
dagaishinenyaxinfadeshihou，wozaihouyuanduizheshuzijixueqin，wanxinliyumenkoushuowaitoudaqilaile。
wodiandiantou，rangtatuixia，jixuxueqin。
woxuedehenman，kekebanbandeyigeduoyuecaijiangjiangnengdanxiayishouquzi。
yiyechunfengguohou，yuanneidelihuadoukaile，bai**nendekanzherangrenxinshenghuanxi。
woliyushuxiamoguduo，youxieweiliang，wanxinkuaibuzoulai，xiangshihenji，youbugantaruhouyuan。
“姑娘，有人找。”
“谁啊？”
wanxinzhizhiwuwu，woyouxiebunai：“bushuojiugunxiaqu。”
“siyunjunzhuhechenwangfeilaile。”
woshoudunledun，luoxiajigeguduo，zhuanshenqiaota，chunfengchuiqiwodeyishang。
woyutamenerrenrenshideshijianbusuanduan，shilainianshiyoulede，suibushuoshifenlejie，danzhigenzhidiyenengchengshang。
chenwangfeishigonglidewugongzhu，defeisuosheng，minghuanyinong。
defeihaizhishigecainvdeshihou，youxingbeigouhuangdiqiaoshang，fenglecairen，zheicaiyoudeta。
我大她三岁。
siyunshihuanghoubiaomeidenver，muqinnanchan，fuqinlingqu，huanghoujiantakelianjiulingjingongyangzhe，zheiliangrennianjixiangfang，youshihaibutaiduifuyushangjiuchaojia，chaozhechaozhejingranhainengchaochengpengyou，yeshiqite。
suhuashuoshichufanchangbiyouyao，rujinzheierrendengmen，buhuishihaoshi。
wozhelelihuazhichazaixinmailaidehuapingzhong，tamenerrenzuozaiyizishangkanwo，jianwozuoxiacaidao：“rujinlaizhaoni，shixiangquannishoushou。”
wotiaomeijixutingsiyundao：“wozhishinitiaobowangyezaofan，kecuanweidelaidehuangwei，shiminxinsuoxiangdema？”
wanxinshanglehucha，wojiaozhutawen：“songshuyanzaofanle？”
“奴婢不知。”
woqingshengxiaoduitamenshuo：“wanxinhewanyinimenyinggaidourenshi，songshuyanshenbianderendoubuzhidaotazaofan，siyunnishiruhezhidaode？”
“rujinzheiyangtahezaofanyouhequbie？”siyuncumei，“zheilimeiyouwairenwocaitongnishuozheixie，huangdishiwangyededidisuibushitongbao，kebijingyouxueyuan。nandaoniyaokanzhewangyeshijunshadi，beizhemamingzuoshanghuangweima？zheiyuniyouhehaochu？”
“nimenyuwokedoushiwairen，”woqiaoleqiaojianbangyouqiaoqiaoyizhimeishuohuadesongyinongdao，“chenwangfeikeyouhuashuo？”
“ayanyaoshasuanrong，yijingjiangtazhuadaolewangfu。”
她说完，屋内俱静。
好拙劣的一个局。
woruojiusuanrong，chulexinjiedeweixianshubushengshu，fangjiandeliuyanzhihuiyuyanyulie。
jieshi，wozheigechengfushaofurendemingshengjiudesaodi。
woruobujiu，suanrongshizaixiangdenver，zaixiangzaichaogenjishenhou，songshuyanyutaweidizhinengbaibaijizijizhaogemafan。
zheijuzhuoliezaiyu，wozaoyimeishenmemingsheng，yibuzaihuzheixie，tamenxiangbichengqiyuxiulewo，daoshizhenghelewodexinyi。
zaixiangsuigenjishenhou，dansongshuyanshoushangdeshilibubitashao，zhishiguochenghuinanlexie。
songxinongbuhuishadaozuozheimegeju，tarendingdeshiwobihuiqujiusuanrong。
woyeqiashizheiyangzuode，suanrongshiayanfangzaishouxinlitengaidemeimei，wobunengrangtayoushi。
worangwanxinbeima，wanxinlanzhuwodequlujimangdao：“waitoubuanquan，guniangmoyaochongdong。”
woziranzhidaowaitoubuanquan，xinjiebeizhongzhongbaohulianzhiwenziyefeibujinlai，danchulexinjie，gouhuangdiyaoshawo，siyunhechenwangfeiyebuhuifangguowo。
kewobixuchuqu，woyaojiusuanrong。
我必须救她。
tamenlanbuzhuwo，wofanshenshangmaqianwangjingcheng，meiguoduojiujiutingjianshenhouyoumatisheng，zhuantoukangenzhexuduoheiyinanzi，zheixieshisongshuyanfangzaixinjiedeanwei。
jingchengshouweijiangluzhangdangzaiqianmianhuhuanwoxiaqupancha，woshuaiqimabianmaerchitongpaodegengkuai，tamenjianzhuanglijiguanchengmen。
zuihoudejianxixiawopaolejinqu，yiluxingzhichenwangfu。jiadingyuanyuandekanjianwo，jinqubingbao，tamenbingweilanwo，woxialemazhichonghouyuan，wendaoyisixuexing。
suanrongshenshangshanghenleilei，weilexuduoren。
woshangqianjiangyifugaizaitashenshang，ehenhendejiaotamendougun。
buyihui，yuanneimeileren，songshuyancongwuneichulai，zhanzaimenkou，qidingshenxian。
fangfozheixiedoubushitazuode，tazhishiyigeqingfengmingyuedegongzi。
“songshuyan，nifenglema？”
tawanlewanchun，da：“fengdeshini。”
“tashizaixiangdenver！nidongleta，zaixiangbuhuizhichinidengji，nixianggongkuiyikuima？”
“说错了吧。”
wokanzhetazuibayikaiyihe，wobuxiangtingjian，ketadeshengyinsuifengluoruwodeerzhong。
“niruciji，nandaobushiyinweitashisuanyandemeimei？”
wozhijianzhanlezhan：“bizui。”
tadeyanlishiwoshuxiyoumoshengdepianzhi，zheizhongyanshenwoyijinghaoxienianmeijianzhe，woyouxiebuhaodeyugan。
wofuqisuanrong，jiangtaguodeyanshi，beizhetalikai，meizoujibujiubeidangzhu，songshuyandeanweilanxiawo。
“guniang，tayijingsile。”
womeilihui，raoguotajixuzou。
zheiciwurenlanwo，woquezijitingxialejiaobu。
我听见钟声。
gonglichuanlaidezhongsheng，shihuangdijiabengshihuixiangqideshengyin。
wolenglengdekanxiangyipang，cengcenglouyuzhedang，woqiaobujiangongli。
wojiangsuanrongfangzaidishang，youzoulejibu，youtingxia，zhuanshenkansongshuyan。
luguoanwei，chouchutadejian，jianjianzhizhisongshuyan。
woyibuyibuzouxiangta，shoudoudejihuyaowobuzhujianba，wokanzheta，kanzhetademouzi，kanzhetagaotingdebiliang，kanzhetazuibianqinzhedexiao。
woyexiaole，wowenta：“huangdizenmesile？”
tada：“tianshenjiangnuyulimin，bixiashenganhuihen，yisixiezui，qiqiupingfutiannu。”
“这样啊…”
yuanlaishizheiyanga，zheinashisongxinongshedeju，zheifenmingshisongshuyanyizaojiuxianghaolede。
rangsongxinongyinwochulai，kanzhesuanrongsi，tingjiangonglidezhongsheng。
rangwokanzheta，kanzhetabufeichuihuizhilijiudengshanghuangwei。
keshiweishenmea，woxiangbumingbai。
“women…”wodunleyixia，manyanbujiedewangxiangta，“womenbushishuohaolema？songyuxianbunengsia，wohaimeijiandaota，wohaimeiwenwen，wohaimei…songshuyan，womenbushishuohaolema？”
woshuodeyuwulunci，woyijingyaozhichengbuzhu，woshuangshouzhandou，wobumingbai。
“weishenmebudengdengwo，songshuyan，taweishenmejiusile？”
wohaimeiwenni，wohaimeiwentaweiheyaoshasuanyan，wohaimeiwentabawandabaqian，bishengdezhangsuanyanzenmejiubaile？
wohaimeiwenshisheizuihoukanjiantade，haimeiwensuanyanlijingqiandoushuolexieshenme，wohaishenmedoumeiwenni。
songyuxianjiusile，jiubeibisile。
“shijin，suanyanjiushiyiwaiersi，meiyoushenmeyinmou，nidezhiniantaishen。”
songshuyanqingqingniezhujianjianhaobufeilidejiujiangjianyikai，tazoujinwo，fushenqiaowo，tadeyanzhongbuzaishipianzhi，erhuachenglerouhe。
youdanxin，youquanjie，tazheimeqiaowo，daoshirangwoxiangqixuduonianqian，suanyandemouzi。
wodourandiaoxialeilai，wowenta：“shishenmeyangdeyiwai，nengrangdadeguodaneigaoshouderen，beitiaoduanleshoujinjiaojin，beikandiaoleshoujiao。nengrangyigeshenjingbaizhandeshaojianglingzhebawanren，baijilebaqian。songshuyan，nigaosuwo，shishenmeyangdeyiwai？”
“nixinma？songshuyan，zheihuashuochulainixinma？”
“woxin，daojianwuyan，meicidazhangzhansiderenbujinqishu，zhishisuanyanshenfenteshulexie…”
“nixingepi！”wosihoudao，“wobuxin！woyongyuanbuxin！”
wozhuanshenlikai，tazhuazhuwo，renwoyaotadatayebusongshou：“nifangkaiwo！songshuyan！nifangkaiwo！”
“nixiangjingong？quwenwenneigesiren。haoa，wodainiqu。”
gongrenxiaolvhengao，julisangzhongqiaoxiangbuguoyigeshichen，gonglijiuguamanlebaibu。
tamendelianshangmeiyouxiaorong，meigerendouxiangshikuguolede，kegonglizheimeduoren，nahuidouweilesongyuxiandesinanguo？
虚假，皆是虚假。
gongneiburangxingmache，rujinyewurenguan，machezaigonglijichi，meiyihuijiudaoledazhenggong。
songshuyanqiansanlegongren，lingzhewozoujinqu，woqiaojiansongyuxiantangzailongta。
tabizheyan，liansehenbai，bozichuyouhendadeyigekouzi，xuewubeicadeganjing。
原是自刎。
tazaineitangzhe，wushengwuxi，moyangyesuanjunqiao。
wokanletahaojiu，jiudaowodouyouxiebujidezijishizenmeqianchedaozheixieshilimiande。
“shijin，zouba。”songshuyanzaiwoshenhoushuodao。
“你出去。”
tajingmoyihui，jingzhendezoulechuqu。
wozoudaochuangqian，zuodaodishang，kaozhechuangbian。
“nishuowomena，jiujingshizenmezoudaozheiyibule？zenmejiuyibuyibu，luodegerucidedibu？”
wobuxiangkude，danyanleihaishibuzhibujuedeliulexialai。
woyizhihenqiaobuqisongyuxian，wojuedetabuxuewushu，xiongwudianmo，zhangshiqiren，zhangdehaimeiyouqitahuangzihaokan。
tazheiyangdechunren，zaigongdoujuhuobuguoliangji。
kejiushizheiyangderen，zouguolexingfengxueyudeduodizhizheng，tingguoleyinanguijuedehougongzhengdou，zuoshanglejiuwuzhizundeweizhi，bidesongshuyanfushouchengchen。
“suanyanshizenmeside？”
wobishangyan，mingzhitashangderenzaojiumeileqixi，haiyaowenchulai。
我究竟是在问谁啊？
wozouguolesuanyanzouguodelu，quguoletashangguodezhanchang，wenguoleyutajiechuderen。
woyongjinsuoyoudebanfaxiangquzhaodaoyidiandiandezhusimaji，wojiuxianga，danfanyouyisidekeneng。
huoxu，huoxusuanyan，tashibeirenhaiside。
或许，或许…
wowuyanyisheng，paqilaikanta。
或许，我不该坚持。
罢罢罢。
wanshijin，zheimeduonian，nizaogaimingbaide。
nayoushenmenvzhuguanghuan，nayoushenmefengxionghuaji，nayoushenmejinshouzhi。
womanmanqishenyibubuzouxiangmenwai，songshuyanzaiwaimiandengzhe，dachenmenguileyidi。
yangguanghenhao，cidewoyouxiezhengbukaiyan，woshuo。
“songshuyan，dengjiba。”
不争了。
不找了。
不怀疑了。
不执着了。