第03章 讽刺

jianantuozhexinglixiang,manwumudedizaijiedaoshanghuangdanglelianggexiaoshi。taxianghuiniangjia,keshi,lihundeshitahaimeigenjialirenshuo,fusiwenyusuniandegouhezhenderangtameilianshuochuzui,zuihou,jiananqulexiazhiyudejia,tadelingyigeguimi。

butongyusunianzheigebanluguimi,jiananyuxiazhiyushicongxiaoyiqizhangdade,zhishigaozhongbiyehouxiazhiyuquleguowailiuxue,zheiliangniancaihuiguojiuye。

dangjiananqiaokaixiazhiyudefangmenshi,xiazhiyuchuanzhexinggandeshuiqun,shuiyanxingzhong,yifuhaiweishuixingdemoyang。

kandaojiananyishenshengzhuang,shouliquetuozhexinglixiang,xiazhiyuroulerouyan,jingchayouyihuo,“anbao,nizheishinaonachu?nixiandenghuier,wonanpengyouhaizailimian,worangtaxianchuanhaoyifunizaijinlaiha。”

jiananchayi,“nigenluchengfengbushifenshoulema?nimenfuhele?”

“bushi,nishenmeshihoujianwochihuitoucao?”xiazhiyuwumeideyishuaizhangfa,“zheishiwozuotiangangjiaodexinnanyou,huitoujieshaojinirenshi,takeshuaile。anbaoguaiha,dengwomenjifenzhong。”

shifenzhonghou,xiazhiyuzaidakaimenshi,tayijinghuanhaolequnzi,haihuahaolezhuangrong,zhenggerenfenwaidewumeidongren。

“anbao,kuaijinlai。”xiazhiyubangjiananbaxinglitijinlai。

jiananjinwu,yitaitou,biankandaolexiazhiyukouzhongdexinnanyou。

nanrenzhengyizaiyangtaidazhedianhua,shenzhangyuli,baichenshengxue,yangguangxia,meimuruhua,canruoxingchen,cuicanderangrenbuganzhishi。

jiananmodezhuzu,zhenggebeijishunjianjiangying,youshoujihutiaojianfanshebandewuzhulezuoshoushizhishangdeneimeizuanjie。ranhou,xiayimiao,zhuanshenjiuzou。

“anbao,jinijieshaoxia,zheishigujichu……yi,renni?”xiazhiyuzhengyaoxiangjiananjieshao,yiniutou,shenhouyijingmeilejianandeshenying,xiazhiyuganjinzhuichuqu,bianjianjiananzhengzaixialouti,jiaobuhenlingluan,“anbao,niganmaturanzoua?”

xiazhiyudehuhuan,querangjiananzoudegengkuaile。

xiazhiyushenganjiananqingxubudui,shizaibufangxindeta,lijichengdiantixianjiananyibudaoleyilou,ranhoulanzhuleliansecangbaidejianan,“anbaonidaodizenmele?”

jianandeqixiyijingwanquanwenluan,“wo……woturanxiangqixuexiaohaiyoushi,wodeganjinquchuliyixia。”

xiazhiyuyiting,zheicaishaoshaofangxin,“kanbanidoujijide,diantidoubucheng,fandaoqupaolouti,paodezheimantoudahan。”xiazhiyutaishoujiuqujijianancaetoushangdehanshui,muguanglimanshixintengheguanxin。

jiananzhengzhengdekanzhexiazhiyu,turanyibajiangtabaozhu,“yubao,wozhishengniyigepengyoule。dayingwo,womenyidingyaohaohaode。”

xiazhiyubeibaodemomingqimiao,danhaishiqingroudepaipaijianandehoubei,dao:“fangxin,womenlianghuishiyibeizidehaopengyou。haiyou,nidaodizenmele?”

jiananfangkaita,manmubeishang,“yubao,wolihunle。”

xiazhiyuzhenjing,suijizhennu,“wojiuzhidaonimenchizaohuilihun,wozaogennishuoguosunianjiushiyilvchabiao,nipianbuxin,zheixiachidakuileba,bienanguo,huitouwobangnishoushita。”

jianandiandiantou,turanbiziyouxiesuan,“bushuole,wozhendeyaozoule。nihuiquba,ninanpengyouta……haizailoushangni,bierangtajiudeng。”

xiazhiyudao:“hao,huitouwozaizhaoni,womenyiqiqushoushineiduigounannv。”

jiananjixudiantou,shengyinyijinggengyan:“nikuaihuiba,haohao……haohaoaita。”shuowan,jihushipaozhelikai。

fanhuadejiedao,chelaichequ,renlairenwang,jiananquekanbujiangengtingbujian,tajixiedechaoqianzouzhe,zouzhezouzhe,yijingleiliumanmian。

genfusiwenlihun,tameiyoudiaoguoyidilei,keshidangtazaixiazhiyujialikandaogujichuzhihou,tadeleixianbianxiangshiqulezikonggongneng,yanleipinmingdewangwailiu,zuihoujiananbaozheshuangtui,dunzaimalubiankudeganchangcunduan。

……

huadengchushang,chengshideye,zhizuijinmi。

jiananyouyicilaidaolezuowandejiuba,hedebizuowanhaixiong。

yigepiaoliangzhijidedanshennvrenzaijiubalimaizui,haowuyiwen,huizhaolaiyidaduixiangyaoyiqinfangzedehudiefengmi,shanglaidashanderen,yiboyouyibo,nannannvnvshuaidejingdequandouyou,danjianantongtongbuxieyigu。

weimizhemizuideyan,jiananzhaixiazhishangdejiezhi,fangjinjiubei,heyikou,sabianqianyifen,ranhoujiezhibianluyifen。

“laoshi,gulaoshi,gujichu……”jiananwuzininan,meihuanyisheng,xinbiangengtongyifen。

ganggang,takandaotalema?

yinggaimeiyouba,buranzenmehuimeizhuichulaini?

“weishenme,weishenmenihuilaidaozheigechengshi?erqiehaichenglewozuihaodepengyoudenanpengyou。”jiananyishunbushundedingzhejiubeilidejiezhi,zaiyebuxiangdaishangshou。

上天,真是讽刺!

chenjinzaibeishanglidejianan,bingmeiyouzhuyidao,zaijiubadevipqu,liuqigezhezhuanggaojishangdangci、yikanjiuzhishishehuijingyingrenshideyingjunnanren,zhenghenyouxingqudezaidingta。

“yuange,nikan,neibushinizuowandaizoudeneigenvrenma?”

“shiya,tayoulaile,shuobudingjiushizhuanmenlaidengyuangenide。”

“yuange,nibuguoquma?”

“yuange,shibushishangguole,jiumeixingqule,nibushang,woshanglee?”

“nixiangsima,yuangedenvrenniyeganxiaoxiang,yuangehaimeifahuani,yuangenidaoshishuojuhua,xiongdiwoyedengbujile。”

zhongrenzhongxingpengyuebandeweizhezhongjianyiminglengruobingshanqichangqiangdadenanren,niyiyan,woyiyu,fengchengzhongdaizheshitan。doushiyiqunyouqianyoushiyoushilidehaomenshijiazidi,baitianzaigezidelingyulichizhafengyun,wanshangbianhuichulaihejiujuhui,paoniuxiangle,jiurucike。

“bizui!”yishoudazaiyibeishang,zitaiyonglanyoumirendenanren,zhongyuqingqichun,lenglengtuchuliangzi。

桌上,顿时噤声。

ranhou,zaizhongrenzhenjingdemuguangxia,huotingyuanfangxiajiaodiedeshuangtui,qishen,duanzhejiubei,yishouchadou,zouxianglejianan。