第一章 你真是个......

diyizhangnizhenshige......

1

我死在了大婚那天。

neitian,xuexiadehenda,luozaiwodejiayishang。zheishiadiedongyonglezhenggeshangyijudexiuniangfengzhileliangniandejiayi,tachendewogengjiameiyan。adieshuo,wohejiejiedoushitadezhangshangmingzhu,tahuibazuihaodedoujiwomen。

fuhuangyixiangbumanyiyanqi,yanqixiangfuhuangyizaibaozhengjuebuhuirangwoshoudaoweiqu。womeiyanhanxiaoyetiyanqishuohua。adiequeshihanjiandeduiwochenmo,zhimolemowodetoushuo「erdabuyoudielou」。wokandaotanulizheyanquehaishifanhongdeyankuang。zheigetenglewoershiniandelaotou,haishiheyiqianyiyangaimian。

tabawodeshoufangzaiyanqidezhangxinzhong,「quba」adietuizhewoxiangqianzouleyibu。woxianghuitoukanta,quebeiyanqizhizhi,「biehuitou,adiekandaonihuishangxinde。」

wowenyantaitoutouguogaitoukanzhezheigewoaileshiniandeshaonian,tayijiujunlang,shenxingtingba,lunkuodaizhezhanchangxialaidesumu。

womenshenzhexifu,zhouweishijiaojiedexue,shirendouchengzanwomenlangcainvmao。woyeyiweiwomenhuizheiyang,yongyuanxingfuxiaqu。keshijianshizongshibianhuamoce。

meihuitoudebeihou,shifuhuangbeirennadaojiazaibozishang。yuanbenyanqinengdengdaohuimenjingongdejuejiashiji。

dantadengbujile,tahenwo,henwoshasixiewan,suoyitaningyuanmaozhejidadefengxianyeyaoxianzaifanlezheiwangchao。

2

gongzhufuzhong,manzuodewenwubaiguansanqu。zhishengxiazaihunfangbeirenyizhibangzhedewo。

yanqiqiazhewodebozi。huximanmanxiaoshi,jiuzaiwoyiweiwoyaosiledeshihou,tasongshoule,juliedechuanxirangwozhibuzhudekesou。

tacoujinwo「nihaibunengsi,haiyouyongchu」

tabawodaiqulejingchengzuidadeqigaiwoli,rengzaineixieqigaidemianqian,shenshangdejiayiyouyuwodezhengzhasongsankailai,louchudapiandejifu,qigaimenrujisikedekanzhewo。

taxiangshenmingyiyangkanzheneiqunqigai「jinwan,tashinimendele」

kanzheyanqizoule,duitachedidesilexin,bachutoushangdejinzan,chongdangliqi,wokanxiangneiqunqigai「yigerenlaihaishiyiqun?」

yanqilaizhaodeshihou,wozhuangchengqigaiyijingtuoshen。

takandaoyiqunzhongshangdeqigai「gongzhuhaizhenshishenzangbulu,huiwugongdeshilianwodoupianguoqule。」

「neijiupeinihaohaowanwan」

woxiangdaoyanqinengyouzheimedadedongzuo,huanggongkendingchushile,wobianxiangbaxiaoxidaichuquchuanjishezhengwang。

kehaimeichucheng,bianzaichengqiangshangjiandaolewodejiejie,wowenxiamianweiguandedaniang。

daniangshuo「keliana,neishizhanggongzhudianxia,beiluanchenzeizixiechi,shuoxiaogongzhudianxiazaibuchulai,congjintiankaishiyaoshadiaoyigezuren,jiucongzhanggongzhukaishi。zheitianyouyaobianle,haimeiguojitiananshengrizi」

ajiedebozibeijiancideliulehaoduodexue。tayijiujieaodezhanzaichengqiangshang,xiangsongwochujiashi,tazhanzaineiergaosuwo,ruguoyourenqifuwo,tabizhanyujianxia。

wokeyisi,danwodezuren,wodejiarenbukeyi。woduoleshoumenshibingdejian,chongshangchengqiang,wozhidaotamenzaoyoufangbei,danwoyeyou,wohefuhuangjidesishipinsiyizhan,jiajieshachuleyitiaoxuelu。「quzhaoershu」

「tayaodeshiwo,bubidanyou」

kanzheajiezouyuanle,wobajianfangxiale,wozhidaodabuyingde,wobayidaozuijiaodexianxuecale,woshigongzhu,yougongzhudeqipo,yaofengfengguangguangdesiqu。

yanqirangrentiaolewodeshoujin「wohaibuzhidaogongzhuhaihuiwugongni」

「jiushibuzhidaozheishoujinduanlehainengyongma」

「wohuizainimianqian,banizurendouyigejieyigedeshale」

tabawodaidaolexiewanziqiangdechengqiangshang,rangwoguizaineili,jixiewanshuzui。woshizhongananjingjingderentazhemo。

zhidaoajiechuanlaidahuoquanshengdexiaoxi,wozhidaowodeshimingwanchengle。

tiankongyouxiaqiledaxue,wodeshenshangshuobuqingdeshangkou,shizhidezhijiadoubeibadiao,wozhongyu,keyiqusile。wodangzheyanqidemian,juerandetiaoxiachengqiang,yirucengjingdexiewan。

wolangbeibukandetangzaixuewoli,shenshangdeyifu,zaojiubeixuejiwurandekanbuchulaicengjingdeyangzi。

wohaoxiangkandaoleshaoshideyanqi,yanlichongmanduiwodeaiyi,tashuoashu,niyuanyijiajiwoma?

「woyuanyi」wodeshengyin,manmandilexiaqu。

xueluozailewoshenshang,haoxiang,haoxiangdahunneitian。youhaoxiangxiewansideneitian。

tameizhuazhuxiewan,rangxiewancongchengqiangshangluoxia,hongqunfenfei,xiangyiduozhankaidehua,zhitingpengdeyisheng,tazhongzhongdezadaoledishang,xuejiandaolezhuzudebaixingshenshang。

jiyitaiguojiuyuan,wohualexieliqi,caixiangqixiewan,neizhangziyimingyandelian。

shiniana!woailetashinian,yuanlaitaxinlizaojiuzhuanglebieren,shineigeyinweitantingjunduibufangtu,beipotiaoloudexiewan。tahaibatadesiguijiuyuwo,guijiuyuzhenggehuangshiyizu。

【yanqi,nizhenshige.......】

蠢货。

zuihoulianggezihaimeishuochukou,wobianduanleqi。