第四章绝望的文盲
回忆就此结束。
jiantameibiedehuayaoshuo，wozhunbeihuiqujixuganfan。
“先等等！”
wozhuanshenlikaidejiaobuyidun，huitoukanxiangta，quejiantaneilianggeshenshendejiuwoshengmanleyuhui。
“wojiaomingyao，mingyaodeming，mingyaodeyao。”
woyanshenfuza，bushiba，nibuhuiyeyinweiwozhangdegenyaoyaoxiang，yexiangbawodangtishenba？
zheitishenjubenzhendehenlaotaoa，xiongdi。
“laierbuwangfeiliye，”mingyaodao，“niyegaixiangwozheiyang，gaosuwonijiaoshenme。”
bie，zongjuedeshuo“wojiaoyaoerya，yaoeryadeyao，yaoeryadeer，yaoeryadeya”hengaei，gadejiaozhikoudikouchuyigeciyuan。
“mingxiaogongzijianxiaole，”buzhidaoshenmeshihouchuxiandeyueyunchen，yishoudazaiwodeyoujian，zitaiqinni，queduizhemingyaoduoduobiren：“wojiaeryawenmangyige，buzhidaonizhaotazuoshen？”
niquanjiacaiwenmangba，wofufei，haodaiwocengjingyeshixiaoyaozongde，xiaoyaozongkeshidezhitimeilaoyangyangzhuade。
“jiranmingxiaogongzishuo‘laierbuwangfeiliye’，neixiangbibenzuoyegaiqudonghainaoshangyinao，yihuijingmingxiaogongzizheifenhouli？”
mingyaoyoushixianqianneifuyouyuyinchendemoyang，“bulaomojun。”
“yo，”yueyunchenliezuixiao，yandiqueshiyipianbingleng，“kanbuqibenzuo？”
meidengmingyaoyousuoyingda，tajiuyijikuaidesudugekongchuzhang，yizhangpaizaimingyaoxiongtangchu。zhijianmingyaoshenxingbuwen，yishouchijianchengdi，danxiguidi，tuchuyikouxianredexue。
yuanjuqinglideliangdashilitianhuaban，yishiqianlang，ershiyueyunchen。suishuoshidanvzhuwen，danzheigejieduandewohaimeibianqiangwuwuwu。
yueyunchenzheiyizhangxiaqu，yebuzhidaomingyaodexiuyangduojiu。
“benzuozaiwennihuani。”yueyunchenxiaodeyinleng。
mingyaoyiyanbufa，neishuangbudaiyisiganqingdehuilanyanmouyizhabuzhawangzhewo。
woxinxiayouxieburen，zhansunmeirenmeishimei，danmeirenshoushangwohaishixintenga......tebieshi，mingyaokeshiwozhengpaiqianren。
suishuoyueyunchenyeshiqianren，danzheiqianrengedeshijianyejiua。
chajuedaoyueyunchenxinqingyuefacha，zaitataiqizhangdechanei，wojihushixiayishididangzhuleta。
“yaoerya？”yueyunchenyileng，suijinuhuochongtian，tayaoyaqiechiyayizhezijidenuyi，“nikebiewanglenishishenmeshenfen。”
“dangranwangbule，”wonuokaitadeshou，daduanshifa，“wobuguoshiyinweigenyaodaoyoumianrongyoujifenxiangsibale。”
“mojunzheijiriduiwodezhaogu，doushikanzaiyaodaoyoudefenshang。”
“nimingbaijiuhao。”talenghengyisheng。
“duidui，”woyinghe，“suoyihebiduiwuguzhirenxiarucizhongdeshou？”huiguizhengti，ninengbunengbiezheimebiantai，duiwodeqianrenxiaomeirenxiazhongshoua？
yinshibeiduizhemingyao，wobingbuzhidaotacishizhuangkuangruhe，zhitingbeihouwenwenchuanlaitadeshengyin。
“fangjianchuanwen，yaoyaolikainishiyinweiyaogenwosiben。”
woneixinyigedeng，guobuqiran，mingyaoxiayijujiushi：“mojunduiwoxiarucizhongdeshou，kanlaizheishizhende。”
少年！！！
nixianzaizheigeguantouzaishuoshenmea！！！
nixiangwanhuoyedetiaomeirendeshihouba！！！
yueyunchenbuqifanxiao，“yaoyaodemingziyeshininengjiaode？”
我：“？”
hezhewozheimingzinishenqingzhuanlilebei？
“niliuxiaeryaguniang，quezixuduiyaoyaoshenqing，nibujuedeninaoziyoushenmedabingma？”
mingyaoxiaopengyouzhendebudaipade，canxuedouyaotiaoxinrenmanxuewanjia。
yueyunchengujifeidouyaoqizhale，tayibajiangwotuikai，zheiyituizhijiebawotuichulejiejie，meidengwozhanwen，jiujiantatijianchongdaolemingyaogenqian。
“nizhidaorenubenzuodehouguoma？”
mingyaoyipianpingjing，piantoukanxiangwoweiweiyixiao，woxinganyizhan，suijijiutingtaduizheyueyunchendao：“qingcijiao。”
......wojuedezheihuazheigenqingcisimeishenmequbie。
guobuqiran，renumojundehouguobushishenmerendouchengshoudeqide，yueyunchenmeichujizhao，mingyaojiuyishiqiangnuzhimo。
tadaozaixuebozhong，yueyunchenhaobuliuqingdeyijiaocaizaitaxinkou，“zheiciliuniyiming，xiaciwojiubuganbaozhengnihainengbunenghuozhehuiqule。”
zhijianmingyaojiemaozhanlezhan，houjiegundong。
liangjiu，tacaidongledongchun，“duoxiemojunbushazhien。”sangyinshaya，touzhenanyandewuligan。
zhishiyueyunchenzaojiulikaile，zheisifangtianditingjiantashuohuayezhiyouwoyirenbale。
tayanmouzhongzaoyimeileshengji，wozheicaiyinyinyougan——tashiguyixunsi？
jiasisancidoushiweilegenghaodihuozhedewo，shuranzhijianyouxiechuanbuguoqi。
为什么要故意寻死？
kantaneikelianmoyang，wohennanbuxinteng，bijingjiasiqian，wogentahaishininongwonongqingqingwowodeguanxi。
“yaojiejie......”tayouqiwulidixiaolexiao，shenqingqiran。
wobilebiyan，xinxiangduiqianrenyuqingweileyeshihenzhengchangde，kandaomeirenshoushangxintengyeshihenzhengchangde，tingdaoqianrenzhongshangdaodihaizainianzijimingzi，neixinyousuochudongyeshihenzhengchangde......zheidoushihenzhengchangde。
xianzaidewoyinggaizhongxinyirongyixia，chenyueyunchenhaimeifaxianganjinlikaizheili，zhaogeshiwaitaoyuan，xiangxiuxianxiuxian，buxiangxiuxianjiuhuashuimoyu，congciyuanjuqingyuwoshiluren。
只是......
wodingzhemiansecanbaidemingyaobuzhiduojiu，zuizhongzhangtanlekouqi。
xiadingjuexin，wozhanqishen，conghebaolitaochuyikebaomingdan，suiranzheidanyaoshihaojinianqiandedongxi，yebuzhidaobaozhiqiguomeiguo，danzongguinengbaoming。wojiangneidanyaosaijinyijinghunmiguoqudemingyaozuili，nielegejuerangdanyaohuazaimingyaotinei。
kanzhetacanbaiwuxuesedemianrong，wolianxidizaitaetoushangyinxiayigewen。
情之一字，难解啊。
woyuyueyuncheneryan，buguoshiyinchayangcuo，wodiyicijiasixinglaijiandaoderenjiushita，bishitameirenai，wobeizongmenshizunsheqi，yemeirenai，yushiwopeita，tapeiwo，zheimezouleyizao，yitongshenghuoleduanshiri。
meiliaoxianghuichengxianzaizheigeyangzi。
ermingyao，chunshiwosixinxiadefangzong。
ningshizhetazaixuebozhongqingzhandeyanjie，lizhishanggaosuwo，xianzaidaitapaolubingbushishenmemingzhizhiju。
“瑶......”
danshibumingzhideshiqingyebuchazheiyijian，wozaitashencedunxia，renyoufengjiangneilingrenzuooudexuexingweiqinranwozhenggebiqiang。
wochaotashenchushou，qingqinghuiyingta——
“我在。”
zhaogeshiwaitaoyuan，yangyanglongyebucuo。
zheigexiaokelian，haishirangbennvzhuzhaozheba。