第03章 讽刺

jianxituozhexinglixiang,manwumudedizaijiedaoshanghuangdanglelianggexiaoshi。taxianghuiniangjia,keshi,lihundeshitahaimeigenjialirenshuo,fusiwenyusuniandegouhezhenderangtameilianshuochuzui,zuihou,jianxiqulexiazhiyudejia,tadelingyigeguimi。

butongyusunianzheigebanluguimi,jianxiyuxiazhiyushicongxiaoyiqizhangdade,zhishigaozhongbiyehouxiazhiyuquleguowailiuxue,zheiliangniancaihuiguojiuye。

dangjianxiqiaokaixiazhiyudefangmenshi,xiazhiyuchuanzhexinggandeshuiqun,shuiyanxingzhong,yifuhaiweishuixingdemoyang。

kandaojianxiyishenshengzhuang,shouliquetuozhexinglixiang,xiazhiyuroulerouyan,jingchayouyihuo,“xibao,nizheishinaonachu?nixiandenghuier,wonanpengyouhaizailimian,worangtaxianchuanhaoyifunizaijinlaiha。”

jianxichayi,“nigenluchengfengbushifenshoulema?nimenfuhele?”

“bushi,nishenmeshihoujianwochihuitoucao?”xiazhiyuwumeideyishuaizhangfa,“zheishiwozuotiangangjiaodexinnanyou,huitoujieshaojinirenshi,takeshuaile。xibaoguaiha,dengwomenjifenzhong。”

shifenzhonghou,xiazhiyuzaidakaimenshi,tayijinghuanhaolequnzi,haihuahaolezhuangrong,zhenggerenfenwaidewumeidongren。

“xibao,kuaijinlai。”xiazhiyubangjianxibaxinglitijinlai。

jianxijinwu,yitaitou,biankandaolexiazhiyukouzhongdexinnanyou。

nanrenzhengyizaiyangtaidazhedianhua,shenzhangyuli,baichenshengxue,yangguangxia,meimuruhua,canruoxingchen,cuicanderangrenbuganzhishi。

jianximodezhuzu,zhenggebeijishunjianjiangying,youshoujihutiaojianfanshebandewuzhulezuoshoushizhishangdeneimeizuanjie。ranhou,xiayimiao,zhuanshenjiuzou。

“xibao,jinijieshaoxia,zheishigujichu……yi,renni?”xiazhiyuzhengyaoxiangjianxijieshao,yiniutou,shenhouyijingmeilejianxideshenying,xiazhiyuganjinzhuichuqu,bianjianjianxizhengzaixialouti,jiaobuhenlingluan,“xibao,niganmaturanzoua?”

xiazhiyudehuhuan,querangjianxizoudegengkuaile。

xiazhiyushenganjianxiqingxubudui,shizaibufangxindeta,lijichengdiantixianjianxiyibudaoleyilou,ranhoulanzhuleliansecangbaidejianxi,“xibaonidaodizenmele?”

jianxideqixiyijingwanquanwenluan,“wo……woturanxiangqixuexiaohaiyoushi,wodeganjinquchuliyixia。”

xiazhiyuyiting,zheicaishaoshaofangxin,“kanbanidoujijide,diantidoubucheng,fandaoqupaolouti,paodezheimantoudahan。”xiazhiyutaishoujiuqujijianxicaetoushangdehanshui,muguanglimanshixintengheguanxin。

jianxizhengzhengdekanzhexiazhiyu,turanyibajiangtabaozhu,“yubao,wozhishengniyigepengyoule。dayingwo,womenyidingyaohaohaode。”

xiazhiyubeibaodemomingqimiao,danhaishiqingroudepaipaijianxidehoubei,dao:“fangxin,womenlianghuishiyibeizidehaopengyou。haiyou,nidaodizenmele?”

jianxifangkaita,manmubeishang,“yubao,wolihunle。”

xiazhiyuzhenjing,suijizhennu,“wojiuzhidaonimenchizaohuilihun,wozaogennishuoguosunianjiushiyilvchabiao,nipianbuxin,zheixiachidakuileba,bienanguo,huitouwobangnishoushita。”

jianxidiandiantou,turanbiziyouxiesuan,“bushuole,wozhendeyaozoule。nihuiquba,ninanpengyouta……haizailoushangni,bierangtajiudeng。”

xiazhiyudao:“hao,huitouwozaizhaoni,womenyiqiqushoushineiduigounannv。”

jianxijixudiantou,shengyinyijinggengyan:“nikuaihuiba,haohao……haohaoaita。”shuowan,jihushipaozhelikai。

fanhuadejiedao,chelaichequ,renlairenwang,jianxiquekanbujiangengtingbujian,tajixiedechaoqianzouzhe,zouzhezouzhe,yijingleiliumanmian。

genfusiwenlihun,tameiyoudiaoguoyidilei,keshidangtazaixiazhiyujialikandaogujichuzhihou,tadeleixianbianxiangshiqulezikonggongneng,yanleipinmingdewangwailiu,zuihoujianxibaozheshuangtui,dunzaimalubiankudeganchangcunduan。

……

huadengchushang,chengshideye,zhizuijinmi。

jianxiyouyicilaidaolezuowandejiuba,hedebizuowanhaixiong。

yigepiaoliangzhijidedanshennvrenzaijiubalimaizui,haowuyiwen,huizhaolaiyidaduixiangyaoyiqinfangzedehudiefengmi,shanglaidashanderen,yiboyouyibo,nannannvnvshuaidejingdequandouyou,danjianxitongtongbuxieyigu。

weimizhemizuideyan,jianxizhaixiazhishangdejiezhi,fangjinjiubei,heyikou,sabianqianyifen,ranhoujiezhibianluyifen。

“laoshi,gulaoshi,gujichu……”jianxiwuzininan,meihuanyisheng,xinbiangengtongyifen。

ganggang,takandaotalema?

yinggaimeiyouba,buranzenmehuimeizhuichulaini?

“weishenme,weishenmenihuilaidaozheigechengshi?erqiehaichenglewozuihaodepengyoudenanpengyou。”jianxiyishunbushundedingzhejiubeilidejiezhi,zaiyebuxiangdaishangshou。

上天,真是讽刺!

chenjinzaibeishanglidejianxi,bingmeiyouzhuyidao,zaijiubadevipqu,liuqigezhezhuanggaojishangdangci、yikanjiuzhishishehuijingyingrenshideyingjunnanren,zhenghenyouxingqudezaidingta。

“lige,nikan,neibushinizuowandaizoudeneigenvrenma?”

“shiya,tayoulaile,shuobudingjiushizhuanmenlaidengligenide。”

“lige,nibuguoquma?”

“lige,shibushishangguole,jiumeixingqule,nibushang,woshanglee?”

“nixiangsima,ligedenvrenniyeganxiaoxiang,ligehaimeifahuani,ligenidaoshishuojuhua,xiongdiwoyedengbujile。”

zhongrenzhongxingpengyuebandeweizhezhongjianyiminglengruobingshanqichangqiangdadenanren,niyiyan,woyiyu,fengchengzhongdaizheshitan。doushiyiqunyouqianyoushiyoushilidehaomenshijiazidi,baitianzaigezidelingyulichizhafengyun,wanshangbianhuichulaihejiujuhui,paoniuxiangle,jiurucike。

“bizui!”yishoudazaiyibeishang,zitaiyonglanyoumirendenanren,zhongyuqingqichun,lenglengtuchuliangzi。

桌上,顿时噤声。

ranhou,zaizhongrenzhenjingdemuguangxia,fuzhilifangxiajiaodiedeshuangtui,qishen,duanzhejiubei,yishouchadou,zouxianglejianxi。