第1章
云海市，文化广场。
“xiongdi，nishibushishenshoubuyunbuyudekunrao？jiwowuqian，baozhengrangnizhongxinzuohuinanren。”
chenpingzhijieduizhelukoudeyiduifuqizhaohudao。
“nishenjingbingba！woerzidouwusuile。”nanrenbuyuededenglechenpingyiyan，mamalieliedao。
yipangdenvrenshensedabian：“laogong，zanmenganjinhuijia，yizhiranggebiwangshubangmangdaiwayebutaihao。”
“ng，suiranwanggeduizanerzijiuxiangqinerziyiyang，keyebunengyizhimafanrenjia。”
fuqierrentongshidenglechenpingyiyan，niutouerqu。
chenpingzhinengzhuanyimubiao，kanxianglingyibianzhengreqingjizuizuoyundongdexiaoqinglv。
“biezheimemailizuole，ninvpengyouantaibuwen，rongyiliuchan，jiwoliangqian，wobaozhengrangnishengxiayigejiankangdexiaobaobao。”
nanrensongkaizui，kanzhexinaidenvyouzhenjingdao：“nihuaiyunle？”
nvrenshenziyijin，nulijichuxiaorong：“zenmekenenghuaiyun！zanmendoujianguojiazhangle，wodiyicihaizai，wozuiainile。”
“zanmenzhuajinhuijia，womayijingzhunbeiyizhuohaochidele，shuotiaoyigeheshiderizijiulingzheng，daoshihouwobahaihuijizanmenzhunbeifangzihechezi。”
nanrenzheicaifangsongxialai，daxi：“zanbamazhenhao。”
“yihouniyehuichengweiyigehaobabade。”nvrenlazhenanrendeshousajiaoqilai，tongshidenglechenpingyiyan：“youxiedanshengoujiushidelehongyanbing。”
“呼～”
chenpingshenxiyikouqi，zhendeshihaoxindangchenglvganfei，haishishanliguodeshufu。
yaobushilaotouzitaikeng，zijiyemeibiyaojietoulake。
chenpingwusuideshihou，fuliyuanlilaileyigeniubizilaodaoshi，shuoshenmeminggeying，huijifuliyuandailaimiedingzhizaishenmede，yaodaichenpingquxiulianshiwuzai。
youyufuliyuanyuanzhangxinming，jiashanglaodaoshibuzhidaoyongleshenmeshouduan，yixiangduizijizhaoguyoujiadeyuanzhangjingrantongyile。
yushi，chenpingjiuzheimexilihutudegensuilaodaoshijinshandaileshiwunian，yitongqianwangdehaiyoufuliyuannei，lingyiweidachenpingsansuidenvhaixiaowanqing。
wunianqian，xiaowanqingtiqianxiashan。
zuori，shiwunianzhiqiyiman，laodaoshijichenpingliuxiayigeheisedebanzhi，yimeixinfeng，yizhangxiaozhitiaohejizhangzhoubabadezhibi，zhijiewanqileshizong。
xiaozhitiaoshangxiezhesanjianshi。
diyi，banzhixuyaodaizaishoushang，piankebunenglishen。
dier，genjudizhiquyunhaishizhaoguxiaowanqing。
disan，jiandaoxiaowanqinghou，daishangxinfengquyunhaishilinjiazhaolinaotianhairenqing。
weishiyouqingtishi：liangniannei，wubiyaozhaodaozhiyinzhitidenvhaijinxingyushuizhihuan，fouze.......peng！
kezhibizhigouchenpingzuochedaoyunhaishi，yizhiyucikeshenwufenwen。
yuanbenchenpingdasuanxunwenlurendizhi。
jieguochengshitaolutaishen，chenpinglianxuwenlejimingluren，douzhilecuowudefangxiang。
budeyi，chenpingzhinengkaozailaotouzishenshangxuelaideyishuzhuanqian。
meixiangdaolianxuwenlejige，jingranmeiyouyirenlingqing。
这万恶的世道！
meiqianzhendeshicunbunanxing！
jiuzaichenpinggankaizhishi，liangshuangbaihuahuadedabaituijinrulechenpingdeshixian。
muguangwangshang，shiliangnvrenxiebanerxing。
nianqingdeneiweiershichutou，guazilian，baisedebaotunqunchongfenchentuochuwanmeishencai。
chengshuneiweinvzizewanzheyitouwuheisezhangfa，edanlian，yishenheisezhifu，fengmandeshenziyouruchengshudetaozi，youqishineiyishuangshuiwangwangdemouzi，yiyanjiunengrangnanrenchenjinqizhong。
wuluncongnayifangmian，doukanchengjipin，nengmanzunanrendeyiqiehuanxiang。
kexiayimiao，chenpingyuchujingren，zhijieshenshoulanzhuliangmeinv。
“美女，你有病！”
yijuhua，zhijierangliangnvrentingxiajiaobu。
suruyannushichenping：“nixiashuoshenme！haoduanduandeweihezhouwoxiaoyi。”
yuanbenhexiaoyisumanyinguangjiedehaoxinqing，yinweichenpingdeyijuhuadangranwucun。
真扫兴！
jiashangchenpingyishenpingpingwuqidechuanda，zaisuruyankanlai，jiushibianzhefazidashandedengtulangzi。
sumanyinzemeitouweizhou，shuangmoujinjindingzhechenpingdeyanjing：“zheiweixianshengweishenmezheimeshuo？”
chenpingyanjingyiliang，shengyilaile！
“meinv，nizheizhongqingkuangshibushicongxiaojiuyou，yikaishiliangnianyici，suizheshijiandetuiyi，pinlvyuelaiyuegao，erjulishangyicifazuojinjinzhigelesantian，erqieyidangfazuojiuhuixiongmenqiduan，shenzhichuxianhunquedeqingkuang。”
suizhexiaochendekaikou，sumanyinneixinzhenjingdewuyifujia，shengyinzhandoudao：“heyijiande？”
chenpingzhilezhizijideyanjing：“kanchulaidea！ruguomeinvyuanyihuadianqian，wonengbaozhengnijiexialaibannianpinganwushi。”
xianglexiang，chenpingyoubuchongleyiju：“wentibuxiao，xiacifazuo，kenengjiuzaiyexingbuguolaile。”
“xiaoyi，zheiyikanjiushipianzi，jiushidaizherenhuyou，nenghuyouyigeshiyige，zheixiepianzidoushiwangyanzhongdeshuo。”suruyanyufadefennu，lazhesumanyindeshoujiuyaolikai。
bijingtahexiaoyixiangchuleneimejiu，conglaimeiyoutingshuoguozheishi。
这不纯纯吓唬人嘛。
谁知......
“shuogeshu。”sumanyinchengkendekaikou。
shentidewentiyizhishisumanyindexinbing，congxiaodaodayezuolexuduojiancha，changshigezhongbanfa，keshouxiaoshenwei。
xianrujinyiyanjiubeiyanqiandenianqingrenkanchulai，sumanyinxinzhongdunshiranqilexiwangzhihuo，xiangzhuazhuzheigendaocao。
zhiyaoduifangbushishizidakaikou，sumanyindounengjieshou。
“wuqian，xianjiaoqian。”chenpingzhijiekaikou。
youleqian，jiukeyidachequzhaoxiaowanqingle。
“bannianyihouni？”sumanyinshitanxingdewendao。
“daoshihouzaishuo，fanzhengdejiaqian！ruguotongyidehua，jixianjin，womashangchushou。”chenpingyeshimeibanfa，sheiranglaotouziliangeshoujidoumeiyouzhunbei。
“chengjiao！”sumanyinshenshoucongbaozhongnachuyitachaopiao，neixinqingxingzijipingshiyoudaixianjindexiguan。
yipangdesuruyandoushayanle。
“小姨～”
唰！
chenpingyibajieguochaopiaosaijinhuaizhong，youshoukuaisutanchu，zaisumanyinbojingchuqingqingyidian。
sumanyinshenziyiruan，zhenggerenchaozhechenpingdaoleguoqu。
“ni！”suruyandunshidajing。
“bieshalengzhele，ganjindabashou，fuzhenixiaoyi。”chenpingkanxiangsuruyan：“naodaigaibuhuihexiongkouzhangfanleba。”
jiaoquruhuai，shouganqiadaohaochu，yimodandandexiangweimorubijian。
budengsuruyanfanyingguolai，chenpingjiubasumanyintuileguoqu。
“扶好了！”
chenpinglengheyisheng，kanzheniangniangqiangqiangdesuruyan，youshoukuaisuconghuaizhongchouchuyigenyinzhen，duizhesumanyindebaihuixuecilejinqu。
jinjiezhe，fengfu、yamen、shenting、shangxing......yiciciru。
yifenzhonghou，chenpingchouchuyinzhen。
“搞定！走人。”
shuowan，chenpingzhuanshenxiaosalikai。
ersuruyanhaichuyudaizhizhong，zhuyiliquanzaisumanyinshenshang，wanquanmeiyoufanyingguolai，jiulianganggangchenpingdedongshoudouwangjizhizhi。