第1章
“mumu！nishiwomengongsizuihoudexiwangle！”
“suirannizhishigesuren，danwomenzalesuoyoudeziyuanjini！”
“nizheimehaokan！zhiyaoboyanqiu，jiuyidingnenghuode！”
“suoyiyidingyaoduoshuohuaqiangjingtou！”
“budongjiuwen！dongdeyewen！wenwenwen！zongzhiyaowen！”
“yaoxianhuoqilai！gongsicaiyoujihuihuoxiaqu！buguanshihuohaishiheihuo，zhiyaonigouhuo，tajiunengkandaoni，nimenjiunengjianmian！”
“suoyi，yidingyaonuli！zhidaolema！”
mumujuzhexiaoquantouyonglidiandiantou，renzhenerqiancheng：“zhidaole！”
《jintiankaishilianai》jiemujijiangbochu，zhenggechangdirenaofeifan。
zaiyigehenbuqiyandejiaoluoli，jingjirenxiaodushengsilijiedefanfudingzhujijiangshangchangdemumu。
mumushitiantingdetaohuaxian，mianruotaohua，shensifuliu，jiaonenkeren。
tianshangyiridishangyinian，shinianqian，mumubuguoshizaixianjiehezhongduojiemeidaobiehualedianshijian，duitayoujiumingzhiendenanhaijiuzhangdale，banjiale，guanjianshimumuhaibuzhidaorenjiajiaoshenme！
haozaitaganghuixianjieshirangmengshenbangtatuomeng，rangnanhaijizhuta。
zhiyaotanengzaijiemulibaohuo，nanhaijiuyidinghuilaizheilizhaotade！
suoyi，tayidingyaojiabeinuli！
mumuhexiaoduyanliranshaozhexiwangzhihuo，huxiangwoquandaqi。
jiemukaibo，zhuchirenjieshao，jiweinannvjiabinzaihuanhushengzhongxiangjidaodachangdi。
diyicijianmianhuxianglejiedehuanjieli，meigerendoumiaozhunlezijide“liewu”，anzhaogezidejubenkaishile“shoulie”。
mumushenweitiantingdetaohuaxianzi，yichuxianzaipingmuqian，jiulikexiyinle**nanfen。
zaiyanzhizhishangdeniandai，daduoshurendoushiyangou。
jiashangmumushenshangyouguyikaojinbianlingrenshuxindeqizhi，suoyikuaiyaodaobidejinxinggongsicaijuedingguzhuyizhi，zalesuoyouziyuanjizheigelubianjianlaidesuren。
yihaonanjiabinjinhanyushimumuzheichangdenandadang，tahenqingxingzijimeiyouxiangqitarenyiyang，yinadaojubenjiujujuezheigexiannenyudidexinren，fouze，ciketajiuzhinengheqitajigenanrenyiqitoukanmumule。
“nihao，xiangbiniyijingzhidaowole。”jinhanyudaizheziyiweiyangguangshuaiqidexiaozouxiangmumu：“nihenfuhewodebiaozhun，buzhidaonixihuannazhong？”
zhengzairenzhenhefeizhaikuaileshuidemumulenglexia：“xihuannazhong？”takanleyankele，“ng......wojuedebaishibikekouhaohee......”
“......”jinhanyugangale：“zheishibeihanxudefahaorenkalema？”
【wa！womenhanyuzheimeshuaiqi，renchengxiaoyingdia！tazheiyangtaibujimianzileba？】
【shaopengciwomenyingdi！chushaoshishen！jinhanyutapeima？】
【dui！jiuzhidaocengwochushaoderedu！wuwuwubushiyoubaoliaoshuochushaohuilaima？tazaina？woshiweiletacailaide】
【biexiangle，wolaogongzaiwohuailini】
【pi！loushangbieluanshuo，chushaopawowuhuigenwojieshibantianle】
【wangwangwang！woxuanbuwojiushimumutiangou，daimengmeishaonv，wodecai！】
jiemudedanmushunjianchenglezhanchang，shenzaijiemudemumubingbuzhiqing，tabiaoshihenwugu：“womeiyouhaorenkae，suoyimeifajinifakapian。”
jinhanyudeceyanyoujifenyingdichumingyudeyingzi，yincizichudaoyilaijiubeifensichengweixiaochushao。chuyingdishigaolingzhihuaburongjianyue，henduonvrenbianbajinhanyudangchengchuyingdidepingti。
yinci，zheimejiuyilai，jinhanyuhaimeizainagenvrenshenshangchizheizhongbie。tabeimumudedafeisuowennongdehenbukaixin，danshiyiduishangtaneiruxiaolubanchuncuideyanjing，youzheshiqibuqilai。
zhanzaiyipangdenvjiabinmobeibeisuanle。
gaisi，takeshizhiwanghejinhanyugaoyibocp，rangzijihuoyibade！sheixiaodejinhanyuzheiyishuangyanxiangshizhangzailezheigexinrenshenshang！
mobeibeilikejimumushibanzi：“mumuzheishihaixiuba？ruguojiniyizhangxiaokapian，rangnifajihanyuge，nihuizaishangmianxieshenmeni？”
mumuwojinkele，naozilimengranxiangqitabeixiaodujiandaohou，diyitianzhubinguanshibeisaijinlaidexiaokapian，xiaoliancengdefushangyipianfense：“xing......xing......ganxiaoyemao......zai，zaixian，peiliao？”
taxiafanzhihouzhijianguozheimeyizhongkapian，dangranzhinengbeisongzheizhongkapianshangdeneirongla。
jiemuxianchangshunjianxianruguiyidesiji。
mobeibeineixin：haiyoubiwosaode？？？
jinhanyuneixin：eeeeeee？anshiwoqukaifang？？？
弹幕再次炸了。
【zheishinimenlaopo？xingganpeiliaoxiaoyemao？！】
【haiyiweishiqingchunyunv，hezheshiguqiannv？】
【zheiguniangkanzheshitingxinde，meixiangdaonaozigengxin，xiangxinmaide。】
【**，zheishiwomenbufufeikeyikande？】
【huanmielea！gangxinjindelaopojiumeile】
jiemuzuyikan，zheixinrenkezhenshiganshuo！ganjinqiejingtouqiejingtou！
danmuyoushiyizhenaihao，fenfenyaoqiuyaokanzenmepeiliaode。
jingtouqiedaolelingwailiangduineibian，doushiguiguijujuliaozhelixiangxingshenmeyang，aihaoshishenme，zijiafensikandehenyouziwei，danbushaorenshizhongdianjizhexiaoyemao。
dengsuoyoujiabintongtaihou，mumucaizaicichuxianzaidajiadeshiyeli。
zheici，talouzheyidabeimounaichagugugudehegebuting。
【wa，tahedeshenmenaicha？haohaohedeyangzi，xianghe！】
【tarenzhendeyangzirangwojuedeneibeinaichayidingshitianxiazuiwudihaohedenaicha！】
【转行做吃播吧！】
【buxing，panglezazheng？chiduoleshangwei。wuwuwumumulaiwohuailiwoweini！！】
【woyougedadandexiangfa......】
【lairen，jizhenbashangmiandechachuqu！】
mumugulugululehaojikouhou，tingzhetamentanlunshenmeshuochangshenmemiguo，mengranxiangdaojingjirenxiaodujiaodaitayaoyaonulicanyudaojiemuzhong，huoyueqilaiduoshuohua，yushinulixiangyaojijinquwenyiwen。
ke，tayongyuandoushigangyaoshuohua，jiubeimobeibeijiezouhuati，yishijiantafangfobeipaichizaiwai。
可怜兮兮，嗦奶茶。
danmuyoushiyitonghaokeaihaoxianghetadenaicha。
erhaonanjiabinheyifaxianyizhizhangzuiyizhishuobulehuademumu，yushidaizhezhongrenbashixianzhuandaolemumuzheibian：“mumushixinrenni？shiweishenmexiangyaojinyulequanni？”
“duia，yibanbushiqucanjiaxuanxiuma？zenmezhijie......nandaoshiyouren......”mobeibeizuoyiwenzhuang，shuodejiaodushijiqidiaozuan，bushaorendoukaishibaidumumudejingli。
danshiyicha！jingranshiyipiankongbai！meiyourenheziliao！ganjingdexiangzhangbaizhi！
ermumuyitingyourenwentahualeya！zhongyukeyizaijingtouqianduoshuohualeya！tayaohaohaoderenzhendehuidawentini！
“我......”
“aiyabiewanglewomenlaiganmadela！buruwenwenmumuyoujigenanpengyou，chuwenshenmedehaizaibuzaila！”
镜头移过来了！
mumulianmangzaicizuozhi，neixinxiaorenwoquan：xiaodu，kuaikanwohaohaohuidawentie！
“chuwendangranyaozai！qinwenbukeyisuibiande！”mumuzuolekounaicha，renrenzhenzhenjieshidao：“yinwei，yiqinjiuhuihuaiyunle！”