第一章废物女婿
yangcheng，“meidusha”spahuisuo。
“fengyu，bawomendexijiaoshuidaole！”
yijianhaohuabaofangzhinei，yimingzhangxiangjiweixingganjingzhidemeinv，yongshifenyonglandeshengyinshuodao。
“好嘞！老婆！”
fengyumeizizideyingyundao，ranhouzaisanming**shizhenjingdemuguangzhixia，huankuaidequdaoxijiaoshuile。
baojianzhineitangzhesanmingjingzhidemeinv，yimingshifengyudelaopo，linlinger，lingwailiangweizeshilinlingerdeguimi，liumeierhegaowenwen。
“linzong，zheiyang……butaiheshiba，bijingneishininxiansheng。”yiming**shiyouxiebuhaoyisideshuodao。
“meiguanxide，fanzhengtayijingxiguanle。”linlingershifendanrandeshuodao。
“就是呢。”
linlingerdeguimilinmeierdazhehaqiandao，“lingernizheilaogongkeshizhengouzirunde，zhengtianshenmeshiqingyebuyonggan，guangchinideruanfanle。”
“linger，wokeshizhendexianmunilaogong，yougezheiyangpiaoliangdelaopo，haishenmedoubuyonggan，woyaoshigenande，yexiangzuonilaogong。”guimigaowenwenyexiaoxixidefuhedao。
“ai，bushinimenxiangdeneiyang，qishiwomenfengonghenmingquede，jialidezawuguita，tafuzezhunei，wofuzezhuwai。”linlingerqingtanyishengshuodao。
linlingershuowanzheijuhua，xinlidoushiyouxiefaxu，zaizenmeshuoyeshibutaihaoting。
“neibuhaishichiruanfande。”liumeiergegedexiaodao。
neisanming**shitingdaosannvdetanhua，dunshixinlihuangran，kanzhehaitingshuaiqidefengyu，jingranshizheiyangdeyigexiaobailian，yishijianduitagandaojiweidebiyi。
dangfengyuzaicijinlaideshihou，tamenkanxiangtadeyanshenzhong，doushizhongmanlebishideshense。
fengyujiuxiangshenmedoumeiyoukandaoyiyang，yijiulehehedeshuo，“laopo！nijiaodaideshiqingzuowanle，haiyouqitadeshiqingma？”
“meile，nixiaquba！”linlingerliankandoumeiyoukanyiyanfengyu，yuqihaishineibandelengdanshuo。
“好咧！”
fengyupidianpidiandejiuchuqule。
neijiming**shikanzhefengyuzheibanzuowei，xinliyuefadegengjiadebishita，guolemeiduojiu，sanming**shiyezoulechuqu。
zhenggebaojianzhineijiushengxiasannv。
linlingerxinlixiangzhefengyulikaishideyangzi，xinliyoushitanxiyisheng。
nandao，tazhendeyidianzizundoumeiyouma？
zicongfengyuruzhuidaolinjiazhihou，meirilizongshibaoshouqifu，beijialirenhulaihequ，feidajima，jiulianlinlingeryeyincibeirenlengchaorefeng。
youxieshihou，linlingerxinliduifengyufeichangdeqihen，hentabuzhengqi，hentabunenggouxiangyigezhenzhengdenanrenyiyang，zhanzaizijidemianqian，tizijidangfengzheyu。
jinguanlinlingerxinlimingbai，qishifengyuduitayijingshifeichangdehaole，chulebunenggouzhuanqian，meiyoushili，danxiao，qitade，tazhendetiaobuchulaiyidingdiandemaobing！
keshi，neiyouzenmeyangni，zheixiebingbunengbangzhulinlingerjiejueyanqiandekunjinga。
“linger，nizheilaogongkeshi**dedaojiale，jianzhijiushiyigenanpuyiban，hahaha……”，sanming**shichuquzhihou，liumeierdaizhechaofengdexiaoshengxiangqi。
liumeierdehua，jianglinlingercongsixuzhizhongdaduan，ranertabingmeiyouyinweizheixiehua，jinxingfanbo，yinweishishidequeshiruci。
zheiyinianduodeshijianli，fengyujihuduilinlingershibaidabaiying，buguanlinlingerduifengyushuoshenme，zuoshenme，fengyuzongshiyifulehehedeyangzi，conglaimeiyoufankangguo。
zheibushiyigenanpushishenmeni？
“haole，zanmenjiubieshuotale，”gaowenwenchazuishuodao，“linger，tingshuonidegongsichuxianleyixiewenti，xianzaijiejuelema？”
linlingersuiranshiyijienvzi，danshiquezhangguanzhejiazudechanye，zaiyangchengzheikuaidimianshang，linjiayeshinenggoushudeshangminghaodejiazule。
tingdaogaowenwendehua，linlingerdunshiliumeiqingcu，lianseyouxienankanqilai。
“ai，neiyouzheimerongyijiejuea，wozheikuaichousile，gongsixianzailiangongzidoufabuqi，yijingtuoqianlianggeyuele。”
rujindelinshichanye，ziconglinlingerdeyeye，linzhentianqushiyihou，shengyishiyitianburuyitian，daolexianjin，yijingliangongzidounabuchulai。
xiangqizijideyeye，linlingerxinligengshiyizhenkuse，tazhisuoyijiajifengyu，zheigebeichengzuo“feiwulaogong”denanren，jiushitadeyeyelinzhentian，yishoubaobande。
dangshilinzhentianbuzhidaoshizenmele，taidushifeichangdejianjue，zaijiashangyijingshizhongbingbuqi，tasuozuodejueding，jialirenyoubuganweibei，gengbieshuolinlingerle。
suiranbuzhidaoyeyeweishenmezheibanjianchi，danshi，weilenenggouwanchengyeyelinzhongdeyiyuan，linlingerzhihaoweiquziji，qulefengyu。
meicuo，jiushiqulefengyu！
zheizaiwairenyanzhong，jiushifengyuzhanlejidadebianyi，bujinnenggouyishiwuyou，haibaijianleyigezheimenianqingmaomeidelaopo，jianzhijiushitianshangdiaoleyigedadadexianbing。
zailinlingeryufengyubanwanhunlizhihoumeijitian，linzhentianbianhanxiaojiuquanle。
jiushicongneigeshihouqi，“feiwulaogong”、“xiaobailian”、“chiruanfande”，zheixiechenghaobiankouzailefengyudetoushang。
zineiyihou，linjiadeqiyeyejiumanmandezoulexiapolu。
“linger，qishiniyebuyongzheimefannao，zhiyaoniyuanyiqishizheibingbushishenmenanshi，guanjianjiukannideyisi。”gaowenwenkanzhemiandaichourongdelinlinger，yiweishenzhangdeshuodao，youyongyanpieleyixiapangbiandeliumeier。
“shuodejiushi，zhiyaolingerdameinvyuanyi，zaizheiyangchengkeshidayourenpaizheduiyuanyitinichutoude。”liumeierziranzhidaogaowenwendeyisi，yezaianshizheshuo。
linlingerzaizheiyangcheng，keshiyidingyidedameiren，jibianshiliumeieryugaowenwen，zaitamianqiandoushiyouxiezicanxinghui。
ertamenerrensuoshuodeneixieren，ziranshikanzhonglelinlingerdemeimao，xiangyaodedaota。
“xingle，wozhidaonimendeyisi，zheijianshiqingrongwozaixiangxiangba。”linlingerkanzhezijidezheilianggeguimi，xinlilveweifanzao，yuqiyouyouxiewunaideshuodao。
liumeierhegaowenwenkandaolinlingerzheifan，errenhuxiangkanlekan，yejiubuzaitiji。
sanrenyouzaibaojianlimianshuoleyixieqiaoqiaohua，meiduojiubiangezilikailehuisuo。
ercishidefengyuyijingzaihuijiadelushang，qizhetadexiaomotuo，yiluhuanghuangyouyou，bukuaibumande，xinshangzheyangchengdeyejing，daoyeshixiandeyouranzide。
shubuzhi，yigenenggougaibiantayishengmingyundexiaoxi，jijiangdaolai。