第一章谁也不行
xiyumengmeng，jinguanshixiawudesandianzhong，dantiankongyinan，haoxiangzairendexinzhongdoumaishangleyicengyinying。
huazhoushijinshanlingqu，yigetingzhedaduzidenvrenzhanzaiyikuaimubeiqian，jiannanwanyaojiangyizhuxiangrikuifanglexiaqu。
nvrensuiranshisuyan，suirantingzheyundu，danyijiuwufazheyanqimaomeiderongyan。
“chaoran，sannianle，shijianguodehaokuaia，wodouhuaidisantaile，yuchanqimashangjiudaole，kexinibuzai，buranbaobaokendinghuixihuannizheigexiaojiujiuba，hehe。”
wenroudefumozhezijideduzi，buzhixiangdaoleshenme，nvrenyanjiaojuranyouleishuihualuoerchu，henkuaihunzazailemianmianxiyuzhong。
“zheiciruguohaishinvhai，liujiajiuyaojianghaizisongdaoshanqu，wo。。wobuganxin，wozhendebuganxin，chaoran，jiejiehaoxiangni，zhendehaoxiangni。”
zheishi，yigezhongnianrendazhesanpaoleguolai，shenhouhaigenzhejigeheiyiren。
“yumeng，ni。。nizheishihunao！tingzhezheimedaduzi，wanyizheliangzenmeban，erqienisuishidouyoukenengshengchan，zenmehailaizheili！”
nvrenkanlezijilaogongyiyan，meizaishuohua，yibubudexiangzhewaimianzouqu。
shifenzhonghou，fangzhixiangrikuidemudi，shuinibanturanpokai，yizhimanshiheinideshoushenlechulai。
zheiyimu，ruguobeirenherenkandao，gujihuihegebansi，nandaoshisirenfuhuole？
xiayike，bansuiyishengmenxiang，shuinibanzhenggezhaliekailai，conglimiantiaochuleyigeren。
qingnianmoyang，shenshangdeyiwudouyijingshifuxiubukan，lianshangmanshinitu，kanbuqingrongyanjihe。
“jiejie，nidehuawodoushoudaole，heyanwangdesannianzhiqiyidao，wolingchaoranzhongxinhuilaile。”
huanhuantaitou，fangfozaitiaowangpanshanlushangneiliangxingshidebenchiche，gengshifangfokandaolehoupailianshangguamanyoushangdejiejielingyumeng，lingchaoranshuangyanzhizhongyisihenlashanguo。
“youwozai，sheiyebiexiangshanghaiwowaisheng，sheiyebuxing！”
jinshanlingqurukoudemenweishizhong，yigediaoerlangdangdenianqingrenzhengkanzheshoujishangdezhibo，halaziliudong，jiuchatianpingle。
meirennenggouxiangxiang，mudizheizhongdifang，rucinianqingderenyeyuanyilaidangyanglaofangshidemenwei。
嘭嘭嘭！
qiaomenshengxiangqi，helemenweiyitiao，cikewaimianyijingshipiaopodayu，shixiandoushoudaoleganrao。
menweidakaifangmen，zhijiehoutuileyibu。
“ni。。nishirenshigui！”
chuxianzaimenkoude，zhengshilingchaoran，tadexingxiang，peihezheimudidehuanjing，dequeyoujifenshenren。
zheihaisuanbucuole，yijingshibeidayuchongshualeyibian，fouzegengjiahairen。
“wodangranshiren，jienishoujiyiyong。”
tingdaohuayu，menweisonglekouqi，zhijiehuishoubunaifandao。
“nalaidexiaojiaohuazi，gunyibianqu，dayezhengmangni。”
shuozhe，jiuyaoguanshangfangmen。
raner，yizhiyouxiecangbaideshouniezailemenbanshang，rangmenweijinghaideshi，menbanjuranhuanhuandebianxing，zhijiebeiniebianle。
“xianzaikeyijielema？”
唰！
menweidefanyingyeshishensu，gongjingdeshuangshoubahaizaibofangzhezhubohuamiandeshoujidijilelingchaoran，yilianchanmeidao。
“您随便用。”
“谢了。”
jieguoshouji，lingchaoranbotongleyigedianhua，xianglejishenghoubeijietong，neibiandeshengyinyouxiewanwei。
“nizenmezhidaozheigedianhuade，gaosuni，laozikeshiyoumingdehongke，bushuoshihua，nijiuwandanle。”
tingdaozheigeshengyin，lingchaoranlianshangluchuleyisijiuweidexiaorong。
“虫子，是我。”
哐当！
neibianmingxianyoushenmedongxishuaizailedishang，suiji，juranchuanchulekuqideshengyin。
“biekule，laozidezangli，ninandaomeiyoucanjiaguo？kugouleba。”
zhongyu，neidaoshengyinzaiduxiangqi，haizaidishengchouqizhe。
“laoda，ni。。nishuodeguoranshizhende，sannian，zhendejiusanniana，wuwu，wohaoxiangni。”
“xianbuyaotongzhirenheren，youjianshiqingyaoniquzuo，pairenlaijinshanlingqujiewo，daihaohuanxideyifuhaiyouwozhiqianfenfudedongxi，jiuzheiyang。”
guaduanhou，lingchaoranjiangshoujihaijineigemenwei，tongshixiaodao。
“keyijienideyushiyongyixiama？”
menweilikexiaojizhuomibandediantou，daidelingchaoranzoulejibuhou，turanzhuanshendao。
“womeiyoueyi，ruguonixuanzebubaojing，nijianghuidedaoshiwanyuandejiangli。”
tingzheyushichuanlaihuahuadeshuisheng，menweizhijiexiangwaipaoqu。
wotamabubaojingdoushi**，cao！
daodamenkou，kanzhemenbanshangbeiniebiandedifang，taturanyoutingzhule，yaoleyaoya，juranyouzuozaileyizishang。
“made，fuguixianzhongqiu，zheirenyikanjiubushiputongren，shuobudingzhendehuijiwoshiwankuaini。”
tayexiangtongle，ruguolingchaoranyaoshanghaita，zaojiukeyidongshoule，meibiyaohaizheimekekeqiqide。
yigexiaoshiguoqu，menweiwunaile，nitamejianzhibinvrenhainengxi，bupatuocengpima？
wuyizhongkanleyiyanjiankong，menweijinghaidezhanleqilai，jimangpaolechuqu。
zhijianwaimian，shilianglaisilaisihuanyingzhengxiangzheibiankaifuerlai，zheizhenshi，genbenjiushitashengpingjinjian。
“guaiguai，shenmedarenwulaisaomule，buduia，zheimedadeyu，yetaihuitiaoshihouleba。”
buguanzenyang，tajimangandongleyaokongqidakailedangcheban，zheiyangyouquanyoushideren，takezhaorebuqi，genbenbuxuyaoxunwenhuozhedengjide。
raner，dangshilianglaosilaisitingzaitasuozaidemenweishiyipangshi，taganjuedanaoyouxieshengxiule，genbenyunzuobuqilai。
哐哐哐！
yizhenguanmenshengxiangqi，congshilianglaosilaisishangmiangexialaileyigedaizhemojingdeheiyiren，paichengyipaizhanzailemenweideshenqian。
qizhongyige，jiangyigebubaodijilemenwei，shuodao。
“麻烦送进去。”
menweimamudediandiantou，jixiebandeyibubuzoujinlefangzi，zhenghaojiukandaolingchaoranweizheyitiaoyujinzoulechulai。
“给我吧。”
jieguobubao，jinruwoshimeiduojiu，zhongxinchulaidelingchaoran，kandailemenwei。
suiranbushineizhongshuaidaonitian，danshiqishenshangyouzhongwufasushuodeqishizaipanraozhe，zuiweikepade，jiushineishuangyanjing，linglidemuguang，rutongyitousuishizhunbeipuchudexiongshi。
“baoliyoushiwankuai，nidexuanze，henmingzhi。”
shuowanzheijuhua，lingchaoranzoulechuqu，likebianyouyigeheiyirenshanglaichengsan，tongshiqitaheiyiren，jiuneimezhanzaipiaopodayuzhong，jitixiangzhelingchaoranjuleyigong，qishengdao。
“老大。”
kanleyiyanyuanchu，lingchaoranyanzhongyisilengmangshanguo，zhenbeiyihuidao。
“chufa，huazhouliujia。”
“是！”
zhidaolaosilaisiquanbuxiaoshi，menweicaitunyanleyixiakoushui，ninandao。
“guaiguai，zhei。。zheigerendaodishishei，tai。。taikongbule。”
huazhou，liujiazuoweiqiansanjiadecaifuyongyouzhe，ziranquanliyejida。
liujiadichujiaowaiyichujudadezhuangyuan，tingshuodandanzheidongzhuangyuan，jiuhualehaojigeyidazaode，budanzhandimianjijida，gengshichuchuzhangxianzhehuaguihedianya。
“ai，dashaonainaizheicidanyuanhongfuqitian，pingandanxiayigeerzi。”
“shia，zhenshihaorenmeihaobao，dashaonainaineimeshanliangdeyigeren，juranlianzheshengleliangtainver，zheiciruguohaishinver，laofurenkongpazhendeyaofanule。”
“shenmea，zhiqianjiuyouxiaoxichuanchulaile，zheiciruguodashaonainaihaishishengdenver，budanzheigenvhaiyaobeizhijiesongdaodashanliqumunvfenli，liandashaonainaiyeyaobeidarulenggong，haideyunxudashaoyenaqieni。”
“这么惨？唉。。”
judazhuangyuandemouyichu，jigeyongrenxiaoshengtanlunzhe，muguangdoukanxiangleweiyuzhuangyuanxicedeyidongsancengdejianzhu。
neilisuanshiliujiadesirenyiyuan，pingshijiushijiliujiadezhenzhengzhangquanzhe，laofurenjianchahediaolishentide，danshilimian，tongyangyouzhexianjindejianceyiqiyijiyihutuandui，liujiarenshengxiaohai，doushizaizheilijinxing。
zhisuoyiguanzhu，yinweicikelingyumengzhengzailimianshengchan。
“哇！”
suizheyishengtiku，weiyuneidongjianzhuyijianketingdesuoyourendouzhidao，haizichushengle。
lingyumengdelaogong，liujiazhangziliutianhuishuangshoubutingdecuodongzhe，zhendetaiguojinzhangle。
yinweilingyumengdejianchi，buzhunyongcaichaohuozhesiweidengkannannv，suoyixiangyaozhidaoshinanhainvhai，dangranzhiyoushengxialaicaikeyi。
henkuai，bingchuangtuilechulai，zaibingchuangshangtangzheyigeyijingqingxicashihaodeyinger，lingyumengzhengniaidekanzhe。
“是男是女！”
turan，yishengguaizhangqiaojidimiandeshengyinfachu，suoyourendoubugandongzuole，yinweilaofuren，zailiujiajueduishishuoyibuerdezhu。
kanzhezheigehunshenshangxiasanfazheshangweizheqixidelaotaitai，yizhongyihurenyuanquanbudixialetou，youdeshenzhizaisesefadou。
jianci，laofurenlenghengyisheng。
“womingbaile，youshiyigenver，heng！lingyumeng，nihaizhenshiyigefeiwu，santai，quanbushinver，wodingxiadeguiju，jiangzheigejianzhongsongzou！”
dangjijiuyoujigerenshangquyaobaohaizi，ganggangjingliguojutongdelingyumeng，jiannanzhengzhazhexiangyaozulan，ranerhaishiwujiyushi，zhinengkuhandao。
“nainai，qiuqiunifangguotaba，tahaizhishigehaizi，laogong！laogongnishuohuaa，neishiwomendehaizi，wo。。woqiunimenle！”
shengleijuxia，lingyumengkudesixinliefei，neixieyihurenyuanxinzhongdoushiyipianbeiliang，huaitaishiyue，shunlishengchan，sheicengxiangganggangjianmianjiushishenglisibie。
kanzhewuzhudelaopo，liutianhuikanxianglaofurendao。
“奶奶，您。。”
“bizui！congjintiankaishi，nibuzhunzaihejiu，wohuiqingzuihaodezhongyiguolaijinidiaolishenti，zaizhaoyigejiyintiaojianhaodenvren，bulunruhe，nidoubixushengyigeerzichulai！”
beimaleyitong，liutianhuiditou，buganqukanzijilaopo，tazhendetaihaipazheigenainaile，liujiaren，shangshangxiaxiameiyourenbuhaipa。
嘭！
turan，damenbeichuaikai，yixingrenzoulejinlai，zuiqianmiandeyigeqingnian，shoulihaibaozheyigehaizi，zixikanqu，buzhengshiganggangbeineijigerenbaozoudeyinger。
“sheitamagandongwowaishengnv，zhaosi！”
laofurenqijibaihuai，guaizhangqiaojileliangxia，henshengdao。
“nishishei！zhidaozheilishishenmedifangma？”
qingnianlengxiaotuchulesangezi，sangerangzaichangrendouzhenjingdaowuyifujiadeziyan。
“凌超然！”