第四章 愚蠢的老太太们

disizhangyuchundelaotaitaimen

kanzhewolaogongshuangshouwuzhelian,tianxiufenbuganle。tayaoshanglaiyezhuahuawodelian,tazuishangrangrangzhe:“aaa,lujiaonizheige**,wohenipinle。”

huangzeyuanyagenbulanzhetama,tazijizaiwairenzaideshihoubuhaoduiwodongshou、gujishixiangrangtamamajitachuyikouqini。

qinxiaozhijielanzhuletianxiue,tadaoyebuduohua,zhijiejiaolebaoanjiangtianxiufenhehuangzeyuantuisangchuqule。tianxiufentayibianbeituichuquhaiyibianmamalieliede,huangzeyuanjiuyaolianduole,heizhelianhouzheshuotakeyizijizou!

“meixiangdao,nihaishihegaozhongyiyangneimeyouzhandouli。”qinxiaodaquwo。takendingshixiangdaolegaoyishihoutashoushouxiaoxiaobeiqifu、wotingshenerchudedeshihou。zheiyeshiweishenmezheimeduoniantayizhidouhenzhaoguwodeyuanyin,antadehuashuo,wocengjingduitaxuezhongsongtan,taxianzaibuguojinshangtianhua。

“yaomianzijiejuebulewenti,xianzaizhongdianbushitamen。xianguhaoxiaobaoba。”

jingguoyilunhunzhan,xiaobaoyijingnaoqilaile,qinxiaowenroudejixiaobao**,henkuaishaoweizhituzhixieshuixia。dangtianyeliwomenzhuzaidanrenbingfanglimian,woshikebuganheyan,yizhiguanzhuzhebaobaodedongjing,qinxiaoyezaibingfanglikanzhe,wodanxinxiaobao,yemeiyouqianglietuitachuqu。

baobaojishiyibanbunenglikehao、xuyaobaduzilimianxiaohuabuledeshiwumanmanpaichuqu,duzizhangshuimianbushufu,diyiyejingchangyexing,diertianmanmanjianshaofuxie、tiwenzhujianzhengchang。jiuzheiyangwodaizhexiaobaozaiyiyuandailelianggewanshang。qinxiaopeilewoyitianliangye。

kexiaodeshi,zheijitian,popohelaogongjingranyimiandoumeiyoulu。

disantian,baobaoyijingjingshenhenhaole,qinxiaopeizhewoyiqichuleyiyuan。wobamajiabuzaibendi,xianglexiang,haishihuijiaba。qinxiaojianchikaitadechepeizhewohuiqu,wojujuele,danshihaizaichoudacheyaobaozhexiaobaobaobutaianquan。tayinglazhewodaoletadecheshang。zhenshiqiaole,tadechelimianjingranyouertonganquanzuoyi,haishiwojiabaobaozuodeneikuan。tajieshishuoshipengyouyaojietadechekaizhedaizhehaizilvyou、pengyouzhuangdeanquanzuoyi,wobianmeiyouduoxiang。

zhenghaojielewodekunjing,yilushang,qinxiaodouzaiquanwohehuangzeyuan、hepopohaohaogoutong。zuihouweilebixian,tabawosongdaoxiaoqumenkoujiuzoule。

naxiangdao,woxiangbishi,shizhaoshanglaile。

yilubaozhebaobaozoudaoleloudongxia,jiukandaochanghepopolaokedejigesuizuilaotaitai。

“yo,nimentingshuolemei?zhei601deerxifua,daizheguinvheqingrenyouhui。”

“bushiba,wokanneigexiaolubuxiang,nibiexiajiang,huairenmingsheng。”

“nashixiajiangni,xiufenmeizigewogenqiankudebiziyibaleiyibade,tajiasunnvshengbingzhuyuanzhudanrenbingfang,taqukansunnvde,nimenshuotakandaolesha,takandaoxiaoluheqingrenzaineibingfangyouhui!

bataqideya,shuoguaibudeerxifuzhuyuanzhiqianzhuahuataerziliandanaoyichangni,shixiangzhaojiekoudanduhuiqinglang!

“bushiba,nayouyouhuizaibingfangyouhuide,haidaigeshengbingdehaizi,renjiadouqubinguankaifang。”

“yexushiweileshengqianni?”suizuilaotaitaijixushuo:“nimenkantianxiufentaduoburongyia,gangjiehuntaerxifujiukesiletalaoban,tayebuganshuo;jiezheerxifushenghaizideshihoutabaguancaibendounachulailejierxifuzuoyuezi,xianqitaburanglaizhaogu,kandaoerxifuyaoshangbanle,qiuzhelaicairangtazhaoguhaizi,yaoburandasunnvyiyanyekanbuzhe。”

“jieguojiuzhaogubudaoyizhou,tajiufaxianerxifubugujia、tiantianjinjiamenyebuganhuo,jiuzuanwuliyebuzhidaogansha,haiyougegaozhongtongxue,guanxihaodehen。tatiantianchoudeshuibuzhejue,shuozheihualejibaiwanmaifangqudexifu,douhaibuzhidaohaizishisheijiade。nishuotabiebubiequ,shuodoukuaibiechengyiyuzhengle。”

wotingzheganjuedoubuxiangshijiangwode,zheibushichema?nalaidejiwoqianzuoyuezi?zuoyuezitaxianleibuxiangzhaoguwo,shuozijishentibuhao,haikuqiongshuomeiqian,wodoushizijichudeyueziqiana。haiyouquxifudejibaiwanmaifang?womenzhudeshiquankuanfang,tajiacaichulesanshiwannalaidejibaiwan?zhiqianjiehundeshihouxiangzhesuanleba,jiehunjijiaoneimeduoganma,kanlaihunhoushoudezui,jiushihunqiannaoziliguandeshui。

benlaizheijitianjizandehuoqiyijingbeiqinxiaoquandechabuduoxile,haixiangzhetuixinzhifuhepopohelaogonggoutong,fugaodoukuaidahaole:“daihaiziyaodoushianzhaoninneizhongfangshi,shengbingshouzuiledehaishihaizi,xintengdenandaobushiwomensangedarenma?youzaiduodezhengzhi,yedeanzhaozhengquefangfalaiya。”

xianzaikanlai,haishibimianbuleyichangzhengdoua。

shouxiandejiejuezheixiexiabingxiejiang,beirendangqiangshiledoubuzhidao,zhenshiyuchundelaotaitai。

“yo,zheibushiwangdaniangma?”wodaizheneigeshijingpowozangshuidelaotaitaizhaohu,“ninjiadingdayezuanfalangbeizhuaqilaifangchulaimeiyoua?”bujiushiwuzhongshengyouhuluanjiaoshegenma?woyehui。

“tingshuodoubuxinglehaiyingchaorenjiaxiaojieshenziligongni,xiaoxinbiemashangfenga。zezeze,buguokanninzheirenlaozhuhuangde,queshi,chaoninshenshangzaishijingyegongbuxiaqu。”

“ni...ni...nihushuobadao。”wanglaotaitaiqidekuaifanbaiyanle,pangbiandelaotaitaidouyongyifubukezhixindebiaoqingkanzheta。

“aiyawonahushuobadaole,wopaichusuopengyoudouhewoshuole,baozhende,nierziqiantianbushicaijiaodefakuanma?”

wojiazhuangtuixinzhifudijixuquandao:“wangdanianga,yaowoshuo,waimiandedoubuganjing,youchuanranbingde,ninlaorenjiakedezhuyishentia,biebeichuanranshamaobingle。buguoninzheiyangde,queshiyexiabuquzui,woyinggaiduolvle。”

“zheirenlaoleya,shuochulaidehuayayeshiechouechoude,yebuzhidaocongnatingshuodedouzaixiachuan,kenengshizuibachouleba。yeshizhengchangde,kenengshilaonianweia,wopopoyezheiyang,shangnianjilezuibachou、luanshuohua。”

“buguojinshendianahaishidequyiyuankande,biedanwudedabingle。”woyifuguanxintashentidemoyang,tashenbianweiraodelaotaitaidouzairenzhexiao。

wangdaniangshanglaijiuxianghaowotoufa,woyiliuyandepaole,zuishangyinglejiuxing,buzhidehaiquzhuahuarenjialaotaitailiande,bijingzhangshefuyijinggouchoule。

zoudaojiamenkou,taochuyaochikaimen,jingrankaibukaile。zhenshikaileyanle,zijidejiamenjingranzijihuibuqu。

buerhuale,zhijiekaisuogongsikailesuo,jinmenzhihouwozhenshixiaole,jialiwodedongxiquanbubujianle,tamenliangdaoshibuzaijia。kanlaizheicipoposhinaniezhulehuangzeyuan、yaojiwoyigelihaikankan。wozhijiezhaolejingcha、shunbianzhaolegelvshipengyoujiwonihaolelihunxieyi,haimeidengjingchajinmen,huangzeyuanhepopoyoushuoyouxiaodehuilaile,tizheyidadaidongxi,kanqilaitamenmuzijintianshiyaochidacanni。

duizhewosixiaobuxiaodelian,huangzeyuanduodaolepoposhenhoubushuohua。ng,lianshangdezhuahenyijingjiejiale。

guaiwo,shadouburanglaogongcaoxin,rangtadeshenghuoguodetaihaotaishunle,bierendepopozaierxifuhuaiyunshenghaizideshihouchuqianyouchuli,wodeshadoumeiyouwoyemeinaoteng,zhixiangzheyijiasankouhaohaoguorizijiuhao,jieguojiletamenwohaoqifudecuojue。