第1章
魔都。
某大型综艺选拔赛。
“咚咚咚！”
jicudeqiaomenshengxiangqi，haibudengsuanqishenqukaimen，waimianbianzoujinlaiyigeshenpiheisedayi，daizhemojingdenvren。
zhuangrongjingzhi，shencaigaotiao，pifubaixi，qieshenshangshechipinqiquan。
shenhouzeshitadejingjiren——hujinna。
xuyouwenfanshousuohaomen，kanleyansuan，meiyousihaoganqingdao：“nilaile？”
“ng，xiangdengniwanshangmangwanhouyiqihuijiachigefan，nihaoxiang......henjiumeihuijiale，daoshihouwoxiachu，zuogenizuiaichidexiaochaohuangniurou，ranhouzaiaoge......”
“离婚吧！”
xuyouwendandanshuochulesangezi，zhihoubianyixiatanzuozaileshafashang。
tameimujiandepibeizhise，yiranxianlulechulai。
canjiabuwandebanjianghuodong，yijigezhongyingchourangtazhixianghaohaoxiuxiyixia。
xuyouwenqingchuqiedashengdeshuowanzheihuahou，suanzhenggerenlengleyixia。
suijiyouxiebuyiweiyi，qingxiaodao；
“zenmele？gongzuobushunxin？haigenwokaishangwanxiaolea？”
hujinnalengxiaoyisheng，yanyuzhongmanshibuxie：
“heng！kaiwanxiao？nijuedenixianzaihaipeideshangtama？”
“nizhidaotaxianzaideyingxianglikeyizhangkongduoshaoyulequanziyuanma？”
“lihuncaishiduinimenliangzuihaodexiangchufangshi！”
nandaozheigenanrenhaikanbuqingchuyanqiandejushima？
xuyouwenshijijiangbeichengwei“letanxiaotianhou”decunzai！
ersuanzhibuguoshizaimodoukailejijiachaoshideputongren！
liangzhejianzhijiushitianchadibie！
suanyouxieeran，kuxiaoyishengshuodao：
“lihun？haokuaia，suansuandouyijingshinian......”
“xieyiyijingnihaole，xianzaiqianleziyihou，nimenjiuzaiwuguagele。”
hujinnazhanxianchulejingzhandejingjirennengli。
tajueduibuhuirongrenyisi，nenggougaibianxuyouwenyixiangdeshiqingfasheng！
suanshuohuadetongshi，jiujimangdaduanleta。
napashiliangrenzhijianyiqiandehuiyi！
kexuyouwenyouzenmehuiwangjini？
daxuezuichushidemeihao，lianggerendeneimeduoyueding，yiqidaiguodeririyeye。
zenmehuiwangjizheiyiqieni？
kexianzaidexuyouwenyaozaiyidebushisuanle，tayaozaiyiwaijiedeshengyin，tayaoshikedingzheyiqiefumianyulun。
tayaolizhuzheigechudaoyilai，baochizhedeqingchunrenshe！
chudaoyilai，taduiwaiyizhishengchengzhededanshenqingchunrenshe！
jiehundeshiqing，bunengrangwaijierenheyigerenzhidao！
zheiliangnianlai，tahesuanjianmiandecishuyizhishoudounengshudeguolai，tahaipazijichuanchufumianxinwen！
zheiyanghuishitahaojinianlaidechengjiu，qingkejianhuaweiwuyou！
“kuaidianqianba，buyongduoshuole！”hujinnazaipangbiancuicudao。
xuyouwenzhoulezhoumei，tahenbuxihuanzheizhongganjue。
zheizhongbeirenjihuahaoyiqiedeyangzi，jiusuanshizijidelihun，yedeyaobierenlaichashou！
可她没办法！
jiniandeshijianli，tazoudeyuelaiyuegao，chulibuguolaideshiyeyuelaiyueduo！
qizhong......jiubaokuosuan！
“meicijinidadianhuaguoqu，nidoushizaishuogongzuomang，xianzainizhongyuyoushijianle，haiyiweinenghaohaoliaoliao，kemeixiangdaoliaodeshilihundeshi。”
suanyanzhongshanguoxiexudebeishang，shoulifanzhezhuozishangdeliangfenhetongziliao。
shoulimiandebimaobadiaoyougaishang，chichimeiyouqianzi。
“suan，zanmenbukenengle，yihoujiushilianggeshijiederenle！”
“bu，bushiyihou，napaxianzai，nihewoyijingshishenchulianggeshijiele！niconglaimeitaruguoyulequan，nigenbenbulejiezheigequanzi，zanmendechajutaidale......”
xuyouwenshuowanzheixiehua，haoxiangyongjinlequanbudeliqi，dizhetoupazaishafashangdishengchouqi。
tacongweixiangguo，zijiyoutianjuranhuiduimianqianzheigenanrenshuochurucijueqingdehua。
shudi，jingjirenhujinnazaipangbianzhouzhemeishuodao：
“suan，nandaonihaikanbuqingjushima？nidaodiyaobayouwenjidangeduojiucaihuimanyi？”
“tadeshiyerurizhongtian，xianzaizhengshizuiguanjiandeshiyeshangshengqi！hendakenengjiushineidiletandexiayigexiaotianhou！”
“ernini，niduitadeshiyeyoushenmebangzhu？nizhihuichengweitadebanjiaoshi！younidecunzai，youwenbuzhidaoduoshaocizhongyaohuodongdouzhinengquexi！”
“nizhidaotafangqilerenshiduoshaoquanneidawandejihuima？”
“wozhidaonihaiyoudianshangjinxin，tingshuonihaizaimodoukailejijiaguimobuxiaodechaoshi，yaoshiputongrennengzuodaozheiyang，wochengrentayoujifenpoli！”
“keshi，zheimodoudeyouqianrenyidaba！nineijijiaxiaodiandenianshouyi，jiyouwenmaijigebaobaodeqiandoubugou！”
xuyouwentingzhezheixiehua，xinlimianyizhan，tamingbainapaxianzaibushuo，yihouyedejiangchulai！
“zhiyaonikenqian，womenyuanyijiniyidingdebuchang！”
hujinnahaoxiangxiadinglejuexin，tatoutoukanleyiyansuan，rutaxiangxiangzhongdexingfenshensebingmeiyouchuxian。
“yiqianwandefenshoufeijiabaomifei！”
“我不需要。”
suandandanshuodao，tayiyeyouyiyedefankanzhemianqiandehetong，shangmiandezihaoxiangyuelaiyuexiao，tanaohaizhongyizhenshishen。
hujinnayaoleyaoya，xiangdaoxuyouwenyihoudeshengyahaiyoujishinian，henhenshuodao：
“liangqianwan？bu，sanqianwan！womenyuanyichujiasanqianwan，yicixingfuqing，zhixuyaonizaixieyishangqianzi！”
“chuleqian，nimenhaiyoushenme？”
“wuqianwan，zheishiwomenzuidadechengyile！”
suanyaoleyaotou，kanleyiyanxuyouwen，qingshengshuodao：“wozhiyaobazheiyitiaohuadiao！bingqiehaiyaonidedaoqian。”
tabijianzhizhehetongshangdeyijuhua：
“suanxianshengjieshouyifangxiangguanpeichanghou，budexiangwairenyihuozheshidazhongmeiti，touluzhiqianhexuyouwenxiaojiederenheshiqing！fouze，dangyishibeijinepeichang。”
“nizheibawanghetong，xiedebucuo，yaomeniqugailejiwodaoqian，yaomezheijianshijiujixutuozhe。”
kandaosuancongweirucideqiangshiguo，hujinnazhenggerendoudaizaileyuandi。
tabuzhidaojintiandesuanweihezheimefanchang。
“zheibuhuiyingxiangnideshenghuo，zheijianshiwomenshuangfangdoubaomijiuxingle，zhishigebuzhongyaodetiaokuan。”
hujinnabuchongdao，taxinlibingbuxiangqudiaozheiyitiao。
“yaomegai，yaomezuoba，zijixuan。”
tingjiansuanburongzhiyideyuqi，hujinnayouxieyouyule，zheilimiandeyaoqiushishangcengtide！
keyixiangdaoxuyouwenyihoudezhiyeshengya，tazhideduoleduojiao，nazoulehetongzhunbeiquxiugai。