第2章 低贱

tongxuedoushuowogenlaoguanggunshuijue,mingmingnalerenjiadeqian,haishaleren,woshisharenfan。

wokaishihuijieshi,shengsilijiedefouren,houlaifaxianmeiyouyong。

meigerendouxiangxinzijiyuanyixiangxinde。

woxiangduchuzhongjiuhaole,likaicunliqulezhenshangjiubuhuitingdaozheixierendewuyanhuiyu。

wonulixiangyaokaodaozhenlidechuzhong。

nadaoluqutongzhishudeshihou,wobaozhenainaiku,juedezijizaiyebuyongshoukule。

keshiwocaishangxueyigeyue,guanyuwocongxiaojiushijinv,haishaguorendeliuyanzaicichuandemeigebandoushi。

xuexiaoliyourenjianwojiutuiyiba,womeiyouhaishou,yiweirenyirenjiuguoqule。

houlaitamentuiwoyuelaiyuezhong,wangdishangtui,touyewangdishangya,qiangshangza。

kaishideshihouwoshijuedekeyiren,houlaiwoshigenbenbuganfankang,yinweiwozhiyaohuiyijuzui,zuibajiuhuibeibazhangshanzhong。

zuichuwohaihuigenlaoshifanying,laoshipipingjiaoyuletamenzhihou,dedaodebushibaohu,fanershibianbenjialideqifu。

renxingdenuoruozhenshikechi,kechidaomingzhidaozheiyangxiaqukenenghuisi,danhaishixiwangrendaozuihouyexunenghuo。

youxienanshenggongkaimowodepigu,niewodexiong,zoulangshangneimeduoren,tamenkanzheyiqihongtangdaxiao。

woruoshikule,tamenbianshuoshibushiyinweimeiyoujiqiansuoyikude,ranhourengyimaoqianjiwo。

doushuorenzhichuxingbenshan,doushuohaizishirenjianzuimeihaodetianshi。

womeiyoujianguohaizibandetianshi,wojianguodehaizidoushimogui,baokuowodidi,tahuiweilezijibuaida,basuoyoudecuodoutuidaowotoushang,erfumuhuiwutiaojiandexuanzexiangxinneigebiwoxiaoliusuidehaizi。

yinweitamenjuedexiaohaizishibuhuisahuangde。

zheixietongxuegenwowuyuanwuchou,ciqianwomenmeiyourenhejiaoji,tamenduiwoquexiangyouchou。

yourenzijibenshenruoxiao,haiheneixiexiaobayiqiqifuwo,xianshichuzijibiwoqiangda。

cengjingzainongcunwoxiaoxinyiyideduozhehuairen,xinxiangzherenyirenjiudaolechuzhong,zhuxiaojiuhaole。

kesheixiangchuzhongzhuxiao,wobuguoshichulelangwoyouruhuxue,beixuexiaolidexiaomowangmenzhemodebuxiangzaihuoxiaqu。

wodiyiciyoulezishadeniantou,shi12sui。

yinweiwobeibanzhangteshuzhaogu,tajiwoshoujiziliao,quanwobuyaozaiyiwaijiedeyiqie,haohaodushu,dushucaikeyigaibianmingyun。

neishihou,wozhidaoyouzhongxindong,jiaozuoxihuan。

erxinmubanzhangdenvhaishuowogouyinta。

tayaoqiuwodangzhebanzhangdemianjitaxiagui,shuozijishigejianren。

wojujue,woyidingbunengzaibanzhangdemianqianjiantazijidezunyan,woderangtazhidaowoshigezhidetafuchuguanxindenvhai。

kewodezizunxinzaibaolimianqianyiwenbuzhi。

zuizhong,wodangzhebanzhangdemianjineinvhaixiagui,shuozijishigesuibiangouyinnanrendejianren。

suoyourendouzaiqihong,banzhangmeiyoulawoqilai。

womeiyouguaita,danzicihou,wozhidaozijizaiyebupeidedaotadexihuan。

wocengyiweinongcundenvhaidouyiyang,nvhaizibuzhiqianshizhengchangde,bubeifumudaizaishenbianbubeipianaishizhengchangde,shaodushushizhengchangde,zaojiarenshizhengchangde,yinweishenbianderendoushizheiyang。

kehoulaishouguodekutaiduotaiduole,wokaishihuaiyi,kaishifouding,buzaiduineixiebengaiyiweizhengchangdeshiqingdangzuozhengquedaan,wokaishihen。

恨父母。

恨他们生下我。

wozongshizai“tamenweishenmeyaoshengwo”deyiwenzhongtongku。

wokewangzhangda,kewangtaolizheiyiqie,wokewangzijihuademeiyifenqiandoushizijizhenglaide,wokewangzijibuyikaorenherenyekeyihuoxiaqu。

wozuomengdouxiangbiandeqiangda,kezaidiertiankandaoneixieqifuwoderen,woyiranruanruo,wuneng,beiwei,shenzhidijian……

woneishi12sui,xianggouyiyangde12sui。