第一章老婆怀孕了
wozaidasaoweisheng，faxianchuangdiyouzhang‘yunjianbaogaodan’，woquekaixinbuqilai。
weishenmekaixinbuqilai？laopohuaiyun，woyaodangbabale，zheibuzhidekaixinme？
ruguohuanzuoshini，tiqianzhidaohaizibushizijide，neimeninengkaixinqilaime？
womenjiehunsannianguolai，zhidaozuijinqujianchacaizhidao，woyoubuyunbuyuzhengzhuang。
yejiushishuo，wozheiyibeizi，bulunyongshenmebanfa，doubukenengranglaopohuaiyun。
1.
zhuazhe‘yunjianbaogaodan’dewo，liangyanyimoheidehunshenfaruanxianxiezaidaozaidi，wodetoupizaifamasihuyoulvguangzaishanshuo，qidezhenggerenzaifadou，yonglideyaozheyadoukuaisuile！
guxiaoxiao！niweishenmeyaozheimeduiwo！
kechi！kechia！niweishenmeyaojiwodailvmaozi！
sannianqian，wohetazaimoucixiangmuhuiyizhongrenshi，taweilewanchengxiangmuyeji，zhudongjiwojiexiayifu，fashenglegushi。
shihou，xiangmuyeshunliwancheng，benyiweijiucibieguole，meixiangdaotaqueduiwosichanlanda，bukenshiquwozheigedakehu。
woyebushichiganmojingburenzhangdezhuer，meiyoushenmeqitadeyiwai，womenziranerrandejiuzaiyiqile......
buluntaxiangyaoshenme，wodouhuijinlimanzu，duitajihushibaiyibaishun，shuoyibuerle，batachongzaishouxinlihehuzhe。
jibianzaixiangmufashengyiwai，peilebushaoqianchuquhou，weilemanzutacanjiatongxuejuhuidexurongxin，woyingshiyaoyamaozhepochandefengxian，nuodongjinshengbuduodezijinjitagourubushaomingpaishechipin。
bulunshizuoweinanpengyouhaishizhangfu，wodoujinlizuodaozuihaole，congweiweiquguota。
jiuzheiyangle，bujinmeidedaotadelijiehezhichi，fanergengjiadebianbenjialile！
xianzaijuranyaowochengwei，tahewaibiandeyenanrensihunhou......danghaizidebaba？！
hahaha！xiangdaozheili，wozhendebeiqixiaole，henbudexianzaijiujitayigebazhang！
由此也能看出来啊！
nengsuisuibianbianpashangnichuangdenvren，yehuihaobuyouyudepashanglingwaiyigerendechuang！
wodianranleyigenyan，chouzheshouzhongde‘huaiyunjianchadan’，dadadexilekouqiangdezhikesou。
zaodongdeqingxuzhujianwendingxialaile，wodedanaokaishikuaisuhuiyiqilaopozuijinyouhefanchang。
jianchadanshangbiaozhuzhe，huaiyunyijingsanzhoule，erjianchariqizeshiqianbujiu......weizusizhou。
wobaochizheqingxulengjing，zhandouzheshuangshoutaochushouji，zizixixisuanlexiatadelijiarizi。
tongguolijiaqianhoulaituisuan，zuizhongwoquedingleshouyundeshijiandian，erneiduanshijian......
wodexin，buyougedengleyixia，ganjinzhaochuneitianhelaopodeweixinliaotianjilu。
果然......
neiduanshijian，laopobuzaijia，tagaosuwo......gongsizuzhilegetuanjian，yaochuquwanjitian。
huixiangqidangshiwobujinmeiyouhuaiyi，fanerhaipidianpidianerdejitashoushixinglideshajinger，wojiuhenbudejizijiyibazhang！zheinimashibalaoposhangganzhechuqujizijidailvmaozi！yeshijuelea！
woyezheicaihouzhihoujuedexiangqilai，laopojingchangtucaolaobanlinse，pingchangchuchadebaoxiaodouyaotuohenjiu，gengbuyaoshuoturanzuzhisuoyouyuangong，likaizheizuochengshichuquwanjitianle！zheidexuyaohuaduoshaoqiana？
yineigexiaoqiguilaoban，genbenbukenengdehaoba！
woyinyueyoulegecaice，tadechuguiduixianghenyoukenengshimougetongshi！
fouzeyiwolaopoliangdianyixiandeshenghuofangshi，bushishangbanjiushizaijia，nayoushijianzaiwaibianluanwan......
shuoqilaiyewunai，wojingchangzaiwaipaoyewu，jutishenmeshihoukaishide，woyebushihenqingchu......
zhinengshuo，wobunulidehua，youdeshirenbangwonuli，xianzai......yeshiyouqitarenbangwoshenghaizi。
hehe！wozhijiejilezijiyibazhang，juliedetongchucaijiaowoyayidexinqing，haoshouleneimeyidian。
haonigeguxiaoxiao！nizheimewanshiba！
laozifeibanimenzheiduigounannvjibacengpibuke！bachilewodetuchulai，hualewodeyehaihuilai！
chouwanzheizhiyan，woyechedilengjingxialaile。
xianzaiwobunengdacaojingshe，bixuyaozhuangzuoshenmedoubuzhidao，xianbaneigounanrenjijiuchulaizaishuo！