第一章
liuxuesannianhuiguo，wofaxianziji“si”lezhengzhengliangnian。
shimeixieyingluobujintouzouwodeyanjiuchengguohuodeguojidajiang，haibianzaolewodesiwanglaiyangaizuixing。
gengkexiaodeshi，dangwozheige“siren”chuxianzaiqinggongyanshangshi，suoyourendoushuowoshimaopaihuo，lianwodedaoshidoushuowoshi“jingshenbinghuanzhe”。
“yuweijie，nibuyaoyinweijidujiulaipohuaiwodeshenghuohaoma？”xieyingluoyanleiwangwangdikanzhewo。
“jidu？”wolengxiao，“xieyingluo，nitoulewodedongxihaishuowojiduni？”
“yingluoconglaimeiyouzuoguoduibuqinideshi！”wodenanyouguyanxiudangzaitamianqian，xianghuzheshenmezhenbao。
我气得浑身发抖。
sanniandeyanjiuchengguo，sanniandexinxue，jiuzheiyangbeizheiduizhananjiannvqingmiaodanxiedimoshale。
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wobei“siwang”deneitian，zhengzuozaiboshidunshiyanshilidiaoshishebei。
shoujituranzhendong，shiyoufalaiyitiaolianjie。
‘‘guoneiyixuejiezhongdatupo！nianqingnvkexuejiahuodeguojidajiang！’’
wosuishoudiankai，chadianbashiguanshuaizaidishang。
pingmushang，xieyingluoshoupengjiangbei，xiaodecanlan。
zhuchirenjidongdijieshao：“zheiweinianjinershiwusuidetiancainvkexuejia，pingjiegemingxingdeaizhengbaxiangzhiliaoyanjiu，huodelebennianduzuigaoyixuechengjiujiang！”
我的手开始发抖。
neigeyanjiumingmingshiwosannianlaidexinxue！
jingtoulajin，taishanghaiyouwodedaoshijiangzhiyuan，wodeqiannanyouguyanxiu。
他们都在为她鼓掌。
zhuchirenjixushuo：“tebieyaoganxieyigudezhuliyanjiuyuanzhuangyuwei，tazaishiyanguochengzhongbuxingyunan。”
已故？
pingmushangchuxianwodezhaopian，xiamianxiezhe：zhuangyuwei（1997-2021），zaiyanjiuzhongxunzhi。
suoyourendouzaiwei“wo”moai。
xieyingluojiaxingxingdicayanjiao：“yuweijiejieshiwozuijingzhongdeqianbei，zheigejiangxiangxianjitiantanglideta。”
guyanxiushenqingdishuo：“yuweishigechuncuidekexuejia，zuoweitadenanpengyou，wohuititajixuzheitiaolu。”
男朋友？
womensannianqianjiufenshoule！
wolikesousuoxiangguanxinwen。
manpingdoushiguanyuxieyingluodebaodao。
wodemingzizhizaifugaolichuxianguoyici。
‘‘zhuangyuweiyinshiyanshigubuxingyunan，nianjin24sui’’
xinwenlixiezhewozaishenyeshiyanzhongcaozuobudang，yinfabaozhashenwang。
xianchangmujizheshixieyingluo。
胡说八道！
我什么时候死了？
erqieneige“gemingxingfaxian”，mingmingshiwozaiguowaisanniandeyanjiuchengguo！
meiyigeshujudoushiwoqinshouzuochulaide！
wodeyanjiubeiwanzhengpiaoqiele，lianshiyanfangfadouyimoyiyang。
shumingquequanbubianchenglexieyingluo。
erwo，zhenzhengdeyanjiuzhe，jingranbeishuocheng“xiezhuzhe”，haisile。
zuikepadeshi，suoyourendouxinlezheigehuangyan。
wodaoshijiangzhiyuanjieshoucaifangshishuo：“yuweishigehaohaizi，yingluohenhaodijichengletadeyizhi。”
zheijiushichetoucheweidetoudao！
tamentoulewodeyanjiuchengguo，toulewodeshenfen，shenzhitoulewodeshengming！
wolikedinglezuijinyibanhuiguodejipiao。
woyaoqinziqujiechuanzheiqunpianzi！
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feijijiangluoshi，wodenuhuoyijingshaodaolesangziyan。
wozhijiedachequyanjiusuo。
大楼外墙挂着横幅
‘‘reliezhuhewosuoxieyingluoyanjiuyuanhuodeguojiyixuedajiang’’
wolengxiaoyisheng，zhijiechaodalouzouqu。
menweikandaowo，lianseshabai。
“ni......nishi？”
“我是庄予薇。”
menweiwanghoutuilehaojibu。
“bukeneng，zhuangyanjiuyuanyijingqushiliangnianle......”
womeilita，zhijieshuakajinmen。
门卡居然还能用。
wojingzhizouxiangshiyanshi，yilushangtongshidouyongjianguideyanshenkanwo。
“tianna，shizhuangyuwei！”
“她不是死了吗？”
wolengzheliantuikaishiyanshidemen。
limianzhengzaikaiqinggonghui，xieyingluozuozaizuizhongyang。
tachuanzheqianfenselianyiqun，toufatangcheng**lang，nalihaiyouzuoshiyandeyangzi。
guyanxiuzuozaitashenbian，zhengjitajiacai。
jiangzhiyuanjuzhejiubeishuo：“yingluozheiciweiwomenyanjiusuozhengleguang......”
huashuodaoyiban，takandaolewo。
jiubeipadeyishengdiaozaidishang，shuaidefensui。
整个房间瞬间安静。
xieyingluoliansecanbai，kuaiziyediaole。
“yu......yuwei？”jiangzhiyuanzhanshengwen。
wolengxiaozhezoujinqu：“zenme，kandaoguile？”
xieyingluolikezhuangchujingxideyangzi。
“yuweijie！nihuilaile！womendouyiweini......”
“yiweiwoshenme？sile？”wozhijiedaduanta。
fangjianlidekongqininggule。
guyanxiuzhanqilai：“yuwei，nizheisannianqunalile？womendouyiweinizaishiyanshiguzhong......”
“shenmeshiyanshigu？”wolenglengdiwen，“wohaohaodizaiguowaiduboshi。”
xieyingluoyanquanhongle：“yuweijie，nibujidelema？sannianqianneitianwanshang，nizaishiyanshizuoshiyan，turanfashengbaozha......”
tashuozheyanleijiudiaoxialaile。
“wodangshizaigebi，tingdaoxiangshengganguolai，xianchangyipianhuohai，wozenmezhaodouzhaobudaoni......”
“womenzhaolehaojiu，zuihouzhizhaodaolenidegongzuofusuipian，zhanmanxueji。”
“goule！”wolishengdaduan，“shenmebaozha，shenmexueji，nibiangushidebenshizhangjinle！”
jiangzhiyuanzhoumei：“yingluodangshiweilejiuni，zijidoushouleshang，zaiyiyuantangleyigexingqi。”
xieyingluolaqixiuzi，luchushoubeishangyidaoqianba。
“zheijiushidangshiliuxiade，yuweijie，nizhendebujidelema？”
其他同事开始议论。
“难道是失忆了？”
“可能撞到头了？”
wolengxiao：“nimenyangoulemeiyou？xieyingluo，wozaiguowaisannianzuodeyanjiu，zenmequandoubianchengnidemingzile？”
xieyingluoyanzhongshanguodeyi，danbiaomianhaishiwugu：“yuweijie，nizaishuoshenme？”
“aizhengbaxiangzhiliaodeneigexiangmu！”woyiziyijudishuo，“wodeshiyanshuju，wodeyanjiubaogao，zenmequandouchenglenidechengguo？”
jiangzhiyuanyaotou：“yuwei，neigexiangmushiyingluosannianlaidexinxue，quandoushitayigerenwanchengde。”
“jiushia，”guyanxiuyeshuo，“yingluoweilezheigexiangmu，sannianlaimeitiangongzuoshijigexiaoshi。”
woqidehunshenfadou：“nimenzhengzheyanjingshuoxiahua！”
xieyingluozhuangchudanxindeyangzi：“yuweijie，nishibushitaileile？kenengchanshengleyixie......huanjue？”
“huanjue？”wolengxiao，“neiwowenni，disanzuduizhaoshiyanweishenmeyaoyong0.5moernongdudehuanchongye？”
xieyingluolianseshunjianbianle，zhizhiwuwudabuchulai。
wojixuwen：“xibaopeiyangjiweishenmeyaojiaruteshudeshengzhangyinzi？bilishiduoshao？”
xieyingluochedihuangle，yanshenxiangguyanxiuqiujiu。
guyanxiulianmangshuo：“yingluogangganghuojiang，zhengzaixiuxi，nihebiweinanta？”
“weinan？”wolengxiao，“yigezhenzhengdeyanjiuzhe，zenmekenengbuzhidaozijiyanjiudejibencanshu？”
jiangzhiyuanzhoumei：“yuwei，yingluodeyanjiuchengguoyoumugongdu，guojiqikandourenkele，nipingshenmezhiyi？”
“jiupingneishiwodeyanjiu！meiyigeshujudoushiwoqinshoucechulaide！”
wotaochushoujifanzhaoziliao：“wozheiliyouzaiguowaishiyanshidequanbujilu，shijianchuobixieyingluode‘chengguo’zaolesannian！”
xieyingluoliansechedibaile。
danjiangzhiyuanyaotou：“zheixiedongxihenrongyiweizao。nishizonglesannian，sheizhidaoniqulenali？”
“weizao？”wojianzhibuganxiangxin。
xieyingluotaiqitou，yanzhongdaizhedeyi：“yuweijie，qingnibuyaolaipohuaiwodeshenghuohaoma？”
tayanleiyouliuxialaile：“wohaoburongyiyoulejintiandechengjiu，nibuzhufuwojiusuanle，weishenmehaiyaowuxianwo？”
qitarenkaishiqieqiesiyu。
“shibushizhendeshiyile？”
“kenengshijiduxinlizuoguai？”
jiangzhiyuanzhanqilai：“yuwei，wokannishizhendexuyaoqukanxinliyishengle。baoan！”
他竟然叫保安！
lianggebaoanchongjinlai，jiangzhiyuanzhizhewo：“zheigerenjingshenkenengyouwenti，qingtalikai。”
“nimenhuihouhuide，”wolenglengdishuo，“zhenxiangzongyoushuiluoshichudeyitian。”
xieyingluozaiguyanxiuhuailiqingshengshuo：“yuweijie，wohuiweiniqidaode，xiwangninengzaorikangfu。”
wochadianbeitadexuweiexintule。
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wobeibaoan“qing”chuyanjiusuohou，zaimenkouzhanlehenjiu。
cengjingyiweishijiadedifang，xianzaiquerongbuxiawozheigezhenzhengdezhuren。
wonachushouji，jiweilianjiaoshoufaxinxi：【jiaoshou，woxuyaonindebangzhu。】
henkuaishoudaohuifu：【yuwei，fashengshenmeshile？】
wojiandangaosuletajintiandezaoyu。
weilianjiaoshouhuifu：【zheitaihuangmiule！womashanglianxiqikanbianjibu，rangtamenjierudiaocha。】
kandaozheitiaohuifu，woxinzhongshaoweisongleyikouqi。
weilianjiaoshouzaiguojixueshujiehenyoushengwang，tadehuafenlianghenzhong。
wohuidaojiudian，kaishizhenglisuoyouzhengjucailiao。
shiyanrizhi、shujufenxi、liluntuidao，meiyiyangdouanshijianshunxupailiehao。
越整理越愤怒。
xieyingluobujintoulewodeyanjiuchengguo，lianshiyansiludouyuanfengbudongzhaoban。
zuiguofendeshi，tahaicuangaileyixieshuju，rangjieguokanqilaigengwanmei。
zheibujinshixueshupiaoqie，gengshixueshuzaojia！
diertianshangwu，weilianjiaoshoudalaidianhua。
“yuwei，qikanzhubianyaoqinzilaidiaochazheijianshi。”
“tamenduixueshupiaoqielingrongren，ruguozhengshilenideshuofa，bujinhuichehuilunwen，haihuigongkaiqianzeta。”
wojidongdechadiantiaoqilai：“jiaoshou，taixiexieninle！”
gualedianhua，wojijiangzhiyuanfaduanxin：【mingtianxiawuliangdian，qikanzhubianhuidaoyanjiusuodiaochaxueshupiaoqieshijian。】
henkuaishoudaohuifu：【yuwei，nihaiyaonaodaoshenmeshihou？】
wolengxiaoyisheng，meiyoulita。
diertianxiawu，wotiqiandaoleyanjiusuo。
huiyishiliyijingzuolebushaoren。
jiangzhiyuan、xieyingluo、guyanxiudouzai，haiyoujigeyanjiusuolingdao。
xieyingluojintianchuanleheisezhiyezhuang，toufashudeyisibugou。
“yuwei，”jiangzhiyuanzhoumei，“nizhendeyaobashiqingnaodaoguojishangquma？”
“wozhishiyaohuishuyuwodedongxi。”wolenglengdishuo。
zheishi，yigejinfazhongniannanrenzoujinlai。
主编陈先生。
“xiawuhao，woshilaidiaochaxueshupiaoqiezhikongde。”chenxianshengshuo。
jiangzhiyuanlianmangyingjie：“chenxiansheng，zheikenengshigewuhui。zhikongzhejingshenshangyouxiewenti......”
chenxianshengkanxiangjiangzhiyuan：“jiaoshou，zaidiaochajieshuqian，qingbuyaoduirenherenxiajielun。”
chenxianshengzuoxia，dakaiwenjianjia：“xieyingluonvshi，zheipianlunwenshininduliwanchengdema？”
xieyingluodiantou：“shide，zheishiwosannianlaideyanjiuchengguo。”
“nengxiangxijieshaoyixianindeyanjiusiluma？”
xieyingluokaishibeishubandijieshao，shuodehenshengying。
chenxianshengzhuanxiangwo：“zhuangnvshi，nindezhikongshishenme？”
wozhanqilai：“chenxiansheng，wozhikongxieyingluopiaoqielewodeyanjiuchengguo。”
“zheixiangyanjiushiwozaiguowaisannianlaidegongzuo，tazhishifuzhizhantielewodechengguo。”
“ninyoushenmezhengjuma？”
wonachuzhunbeihaodecailiao：“zheishiwozaiweilianjiaoshoushiyanshidequanbuyanjiujilu。”
“shijianchuoxianshi，zheixiegongzuobixieyingluofabiaolunwendeshijianzaolesannian。”
chenxianshengjieguocailiao，zixifankan。
他的眉头皱了起来。
“zheiqueshihenxiangsi......”
xieyingluoliansefabai：“chenxiansheng，zheixiecailiaoshiweizaode。”