第1章
“徒儿，快住手！”
“dashifu，nizheiyetairuole？”
taohuashandemuwuzhong，chuxuantanxiyisheng，bachuleyinzhen。
zaitamianqian，yiweimiaomannvzidengzheyan，shengqidemoyangzhongdaizhejifenjiaoxiu。
“xiao**，zhenbubashifudangrenshima？”
“dashifu，nikeshinvwuhuang，jiuzhonghutigangqijiashen，daoqiangburu，pashenme？”
“sheipale？”dashifuminzhezui，yihuodao：“qiguai，woyoujiuzhonghutigangqihuti，zhaolilaishuoniyagenpobulewodefangyucaidui。”
“wozuotiangangtuposhizhongrutiruiqi，nineigangqiduiwolaishuo，hezhimeishenmequbie。”
dashifu：“......”
“喵~”
zheishi，yiweiluolimeinvzhuazheyizhimaozoulejinlai。
tashencaijiaoxiao，dandayanjingquejingren，yijuyidongxialai，rangrenmubuzhuanjing。
“chuxuan，maomaozuotianbushihezuijiucongwudingshangshuaisilema？zenmejintianhuopoluantiaode？”
chuxuanxixiyixiao：“ershifu，wopanishangxin，suoyitoutouyongguimenshibazhenrangtaqisihuishengle，xianzaidetanengheyijinerguotouni！”
“guimenshibazhen？”ershifumudengkoudai。
“woduchuangguimenshisizhen，beiyuweijueshiyixian，nijuranbiwoduosizhen？zenmezuodaode？”
chuxuanyibenzhengjingdedao：“yaoxiangxuedehui，degenshifuwan，yaoxiangxuedejing，degenshifuhai。”
ershifu：“......”
“haoxiaozi，lianshifumendougandiaokan，gaida！”
youshiyiweilengyanmeinvxianshen。
neiwumeidebuzi，sanfazhechuntianrandeyaomei。
yankanzhesanshifudachuliangtuandaohuo，xiongmengxilai，chuxuandanshouyifan，bizhigengjiaxiongmengdehuoyanfuxian。
“sanshifu，wokaiwanxiaode，bierenzhenma，nitangtangdaofazushi，qifuwoyigexiaolouluoguofenla。”
“zheishidiyudaozhudebenyuanhuoyan？zenmezainishoushang？”sanshifuyileng。
chuxuanshihuashishuo：“shanggeyuenipaiwoqudiyudaozhixingrenwu，diyudaozhusongde。”
“diyudaozhuquankaobenyuanhuoyancaichengweiyidaihuoshen，huisongzheimebaoguidedongxijini？”
chuxuangankeyixiao：“zheigema......qishishiwozouletayidun，batadalegebansi，tayongbenyuanhuoyanhuanzijiyitiaoming。”
“......”
sanshifuchenmopianke，xixudao：“chuxuan，niyiwudi，womenmeishenmejiaonidele，xiashanba。”
“sanshifu，wodoumeixuedaonidedaokedao，feichangdao，nanengjiaowudini？”chuxuanjile。
“haiyoudashifudewudongqiankun，ershifudeyiluqingyun，zheixiedoushiwobixuedechaofankecheng，bukeyitiqianbiyea！”
dashifurengjichuxuanyigebeibao，yangshoudao：“niganggangshuodeneixiedongxi，nideshijiemendouhui，zhaotamenquxue，yaoshipashangdaoshijiemen，jiuxianqujinlingshizhaojigeweihunqilianshou，baolimianyoujifenhunshu，doushiwojinidaxiadejiangshan，suibianhuohai。”
“dashifu，niduiwotaihaole，woxuechengguilaihou，yidingbangnijiagushentifangyu，zhengqubazhibianchengganghuamo。”
“滚！”
dashifuxiunuyijiao，jiangchuxuanchuaixialeshan。
wangzheshuxiderenyingjianxingjianyuan，ershifumuludanyou。
“chuxuanshenfuxuehaishenchou，zheixienianyouyinweiwomendejiaodao，shaewushu，nijiubupataxiashandiyishijianzhaochujiafuchou？”
“biekanzheixiaozixixihaha，tabisheidouchengshuwenzhong，zuijinfengtouyishidechumengjiushitachuangbande，tazaoyibuhaoleju。”dashifumeimoushenghui，youdao：“xianzaizuizhongyaodeshijiangchuxuandewuxingtizhiwanquanjihuo，neixieshijiezhiyoujintizhihemutizhi，shengxiadeshuihuotusanzhongxiyoutizhi，zezaiwoweiqijingtiaoxixuandeweihunqishang。”
sanshifugankaidao：“wuxingtizhibainiannandeyiyu，yidanjihuo，bichengwushen，chuxuandequeshitianxuanzhizi。”
“yujianwomenyunvgongsanjutou，bushitianxuanzhiziyenengchengtianxuanzhizi。”dashifushuangshouhuanxiong，wangzhewuyunmibudetiankong，sixiaofeixiao。
“huchushan，tianbianse，neiqunlaogudongdeshidaijiangbeigaixiele。”
..................
山下，面馆。
chuxuandianleyidawanmalatang，dasuanchibaolezaiqujinlingzhaoweihunqi。
ranerchayufanhou，yimokoudaishenwufenwen，beibaolimiangengshizhiyoulingsandejimaoqianyingbi，canburendu。
kanzhelaobanshouchitieqiao，yifujingtidemoyang，chuxuangankeyixiao：“neige......laoban，wowangjidaiqianle，niyoumeiyouchoujia，wotinigandiaoduifang，jiudanghaimianqianle，nijuederuhe？”
“woxianzaidechoujiajiushini，yaobunibanizijigandiao？”
laobanyijuhua，jiangchuxuanzhengchenmole。
“neisha......laoban，qishiwoyishuhaitinggaomingde，wokannibuyunbuyuhenjiule，yaobubangnishutongyixia？”
“放屁！”
laobanyitieqiaopaizaidishang，qichongchongdedao：“shenmebuyunbuyu？wohaodehen，kankanwoneidapangerzi，genwozhangdeduoxiang？”
chuxuanshunzhelaobandezhixiangpieleyiyan，biaoqingguguai。
“youmeiyouyizhongkeneng，nierzibushinierzi，ershilaowangdeerzi？”
laobanmianseyihei：“nishaozaizheilitiaobowomenfuqijiandeganqing，malatangbakuai，yaomejiqian，yaomejiming，nizijixuanba。”
“我帮他付吧。”
moran，yidaoqingcuideshengyinxiangqi。
zhijianyimingchuanzhelianyiqundemeinvxuxuxianshen，meimujiantouzheyiguqingchundeqixi，shuangmoushanshuoruxing，zhenggemianpangxizhiqingli，tuosufeifan，kanqilaihenshidongren。
hanyanerfuwanqianbianzhunbeiliqu，chuxuandangjizhuileshanglai。
“meinv，duoxienibangwofuqian，zuoweihuibao，wokeyibangnihuaxianweiyi。”
“huaxianweiyi？shenmeyisi？”hanyanerlengleyixia，bumingsuoyi。
haibudengchuxuanhuida，haojiliangheisejiaocheshaleguolai，jiangmianguanchukoudusi。
jinjiezhe，yiqunheiyirenfengyongerxia，jianghanyanerhechuxuantuantuanbaowei。
lurenmennalijianguozheigezhenzhang，hededuozaijiaoluo，buganchusheng。
weishoudedaobananzouzhihanyanermianqian，jugaolinxiadedao：“hanxiaojie，nikerangwomenhaozhao，genwomenzouyitangba。”
“sheipainimenlaide？”hanyaneryibianzhiwen，yibiantoutoushenshoujinkoudai，heranshidasuanhujiu。
daobananyiyanjiukanchutadexiaodongzuo，yibazhuazhutadeshou，hehedao：“dengnigenwomenjiandaoren，ziranmingbaishisheipaiwomenlaide！”
huabi，tabianzhunbeijianghanyanerqiangxingjiazou。
“砰！”
guanjianshike，yizhijiaomengdichuaichu，jiangdedaobanantifeisanmiyuan。
jinjiezhe，bianjianchuxuanshuangshouchadou，huanhuanconghanyanershenhouzouchu。
“zheikeshiwodejinzhu，xiangdaizouta，wenguowolema？”