第五章

jiangchejiucixiaoshilejitian。

benyiweiwohetadeshiqingjiucigaoyiduanluo,meixiangdao,youyoushuaigezhaoshangmenle。

xunchangdewuhou,wozhengzaichufangxiwan,womaturanchongjinchufang,shenseshinanyandejidong:「nipengyoulaizhaoni,kuaiqukuaiqu。」womanshoudefeizaopao,momingqimiao:「wonagepengyoua?wanwanma?rangtadengwoliangfenzhong,woxianbawanxile。」「aiya,bushiwanwan,nichuqujiuzhidaole。」

womayishoujieguowan,lingyishoukejingwangwaituiwo:「woxiwoxi,nikuaiqu,zheimeduonianzhongyuyounanshenglaizhaonile,nideaiqinglaile。」「aiqinglaile?」

wozhilaidejisuibiancenglecengshou,jiubeiwomacongchufangyibatuilechulai。

youyuguanxing,woliangqiangjibu,suihoubiandaojinyigexiangxiangruanruandehuaibao。

wolenglexia,taiqitou,duishangyishuangpiaoliangdeyanjing。

nanshengyueyimiqiqideyangzi,baichenshanheixiku,chendepifubaixiwuxia,rangwozheigenvshengdouyaozikuiburu。

「xiaoxin。」shuaigeshengyinshuli,piaoliangdeyanjingmiqilai,quebudaixiaoyi。

wohuangmangzhanhao:「nishi?」

suizhewozhanqishen,shuaigehoutuileyibu。

tayaoyaotoubushuohua,bujinbumandipaizhebeiwonongzhoudeyijiao。shenshiyouqingmiedemuguangsaoguowodequanshen,suihouzhiqingqing「ze」leyisheng。

zhitiyuyanmingxiandewojihukeyitingjiantadexinsheng:「jiuzhei?jiuzhei?」wo:「???」

有病是吧。

shuaigegoulegouzuijiao,shenchubaixideshouzhi:「nihao,wojiaoshenmoan,shijiangchedehaoxiongdi。」woxinligedengyixia。

zheishitihaoxiongdishenzhangzhengyilaile?

「woburenshishenmejiangche。」

womeilihuitashenchudeshou:「nizhaowozuoshenme?」

shenmoanbaozheshoubei,weiweiyixiao:「woxiangkankanshishenmeyangdenvrenrangjiangchegediulehun。」wotaiyankanta:「nishenmeyisi?」

taweiweiditou,couzaiwoerbian:「biezhuangle,wozhidaohejiangchegewangliandeshini。」wozhuangsha:「nihushuoshenme,tingbudong。」

tawanzhezuijiaoxiaodehenwenrou:「wokeyilijie,bijingwoyaoshizhangnizheiyang,kendingyebuhuichengrende。」wochenmohaobanshang:「6。」

qifenzhengjiangchibuxia,womacongchufangzouchulai。

「zenmehuishiqianqian,yebujinihaopengyoudaocha。」

womashunshounalejianyifujiuwangmenkouzou:「nimennianqingrenliaozhea,wochuquzhuanzhuan。」guanmenqianhaibuwangjiwoyigeyanshen:「haohaobawo。」

worenbuzhushenxiyikouqi,ditounielenietaiyangxue。

我的傻妈啊。

zheixinggaocailiedihaiyiweishiwodeaiqinglaile。

meixiangdaoba,zheishiwoqingdilaile。

是的。

jiuzaiganggang,shenmoancoujindeneiyishunjian,tadeshoujiqiahaoliangqi。

pingmuli,shijiangchechuanzhelanqiufu,weiweihanshidelian。

tuqidehoujie,haiyoushunshouliaoqiyijiao,luchudejingshifuji。

sheijiahaorenyonghaoxiongdizheizhongzhaopiandangpingbaoa。

woyousaoletajiyan,jingquebuzhuodaojigeguanjianxinxi。

lianshangdandandeyicengfendi,qianqianyicengjiemaogao。

teyiluchudebaiwahexianshoudexiaotui。

jingzhidaotoufasidedaban。

wenzhekongqizhongpubidexiangshuiwei,woxinlidangjijiugedengyixia。

好家伙,男情敌啊。