第2章 驱鬼咒散怨灵我是一个茅山道士

zhangmangshenchushoujiangjinghunweidingdexiaotuantuanyibalinleqilai,rengzaigongpinqian。

xiaotuantuanyanshenhuangzhangdewangzheta,zheicaitouguodandandeyueguangkanqingzheilairendemianmao。

zhijianzheirenyitouwuheimaomidetoufa,jianmeixingmu,youlengyoujiaodelianjunmeijuelun。

yishenhuangsedaopaojiangshencaigouledexiuzhangyouxing,jiaoxiacaideshibaisebaguaxue,shenhoubeizheyigebaguaqiankundai,guazhebaguajing,tongqianjian,taomujian...

zhangmangmeitoujinlejin,cirenyintangfahei,yuanqichanshen,qitianbisi。

tadandandeshuodao:“guixia。”

“嗯?跪下?”

xiaotuantuanmeitouzhoujin,yuqizhongyouxiebuman。

她为什么要下跪?

jiuyinweilaizheilimaoxian,jiuyaojitaxiagui?

凭什么!

talianseyihan,yaotoudao:“nizheirenmomingqimiaode,wocaibuyao。”

“qitianhengsi,niqueding?”

zhangmangdehuayuhenman,danyuqihendichen。

“woxiaotuantuanyoubushihedade,nihaixianghehuwo?zuomeng!”

xiaotuantuanmeihaoqideshuozhe,jianggaoaodexiongfutingleqilai,youyiwuyidejiangjingtouduizhunzhangmangdelian。

youzhibojianzheimeduorenkanzhe,zheijiahuoyinggaibugansangxinbingkuangduizijizuoxieshenmeba?

zhibojiandedanmuturanduoleqilai:

“zheinanrensheia!haoculua,zhenmeilimao!”

“weishenmerangtuantuanxiagui,jianzhihuche!”

“团团怼的好!”

“zheirenzhangdezhenshuai,youdianxiangwomenxuexiaodexiaocao!”

“loushangde,nineigexuexiaode?shitianhaidaxuedema?wojuedeyemanxiangde!”

“duiduidui,jiushitianhaidaxuedexiaocao!”

“ganjuejiuheshuangbaotaiyiyang,yimoyiyang!”

“wa,celianhaoxiangtebiehuodenanmingxingzhangshijie!”

“zhendeei,haoshuaie!”

“ou,niguanzheijiaoshuai?wotule…”

danmufengkuangdeyilunqilai,reduyezaizhujianzengjia。

xiaotuantuanyingerfeidexiaolianshangfuxianchuxiaoye,qingmouzhigougoudekanzhezhangmang。

ruguodanmubushuo,tadoumeiyouzhuyizheinanrendezhangxiang。

zheimezixiyiqiao,zheinanrenzhangdehaimanshuaidema!

wuguanduanzheng,jianzhijiushinanmingxing!

buguo,jiushiyoudiantaibadaole!

xiaotuantuanjuezhezui,xinlifanqilediguzhe。

zhangmangpiaoletayiyan,shunjianbianrenchuleyanqianzheigenvren。

tabushizuijinwangshanghenhuodenvzhuboma,mingjiaoxiaotuantuan。

她不是颜值主播吗?

dabanyepaozheizhongguidifangganshenme?

直播?

buguotaduizheixiexingqubuda。

tazaojiukandaoyourenjinlaile,buguozhiyaobudaraotadegongzuo,tayelandelihui。

danzheinvrenzhenshidanzifei,jiulianguishenchidedongxidougandianwu。

真是不怕死啊。

jiranyushanglewozhangmang,yesuanshitafufen,neijiujiuniyimingba。

zhangmangsuikoushuodao:“suanle,suini。”

zhangmangmomodecongyaojiankuankoudaitaochusangenqingxiang,shangzuichunyipengxiazuichun,biankandaoniaoniaoqingyancongxiangkoupiaoqi。

talaidaogongtai,sanbaijiukou,bianjiangqingxiangchazaixianglushang,suihouniantaozhe:“tianyuandifang,lvlingjiuzhang,wujinxialing,wanguifuzang,jijirulvling!

zhijianzheiyidaojinguangcongzhangmangniejuedeshouzhifeichu,zhengzhongxiaotuantuandeshenti。

yidaojinsebowendangyangkailai,fuzhezaixiaotuantuandeshentishang。

yishunjian,tashentiganjuedaodebinglengchuganyanxiaoyunsan,fanerxiangshipaowenquanyibanshufuwennuan。

xiaotuantuanshifenxiangshoudeyingningyisheng:“haoshufua...”

zhibojianshuyibaiwanderendouzaiguankanzhangmangbaijiguishen,yishijiandanmufeisheng:

“gangcaihaoxiangkandaoleyidaojinguangfeilechuqu,shitexiaoma?”

“zheijiadaoshiniandeshenmedongxi,laoziduzidoutengle!”

“xiaosiwole,zheijiadaoshibuhuishixiaotuantuandebangshouba?”

“gujiquanshixiehaodejuqing,zhengouxue!”

xiaotuantuankanzhezhibojianlidedanmu,jiezoufeiqi!

taliansexiuhongdejieshidao:“mei...zheijiahuoturantiaochulaide,woburenshitade。”

danmuhaizaibutingdeshuaping:

“neituanzikeyaoxiaoxindianle,zheinanrenkenengduitumoubugui。”

“baozhonga,tuanzijie。”

“zheijiahuobuhuishishipinbozhuba?zaizheilibandaoshi,lusucaini?”

“shuobudingrenjialaizheilipaishipinde,xianzaiyouxierenweilehuokeshishenmeshiqingdounengganzuo!”

“wojuedeyeshi,xianzainiumabozhuzhendehenduo!”

zhibojianlimianyilunfenfen。

tamenjuedezhangmangshimougehuazhongquchongdeshipinbozhu,zaizheilipailingyishipincengredu。

xiaotuantuankanzhedanmudefenxi,yejuedehenyoudaoli。

tayanshenjingtidekanzhezhangmang,suishoujiangjingtouladehenjin,duizhepingmuxiaoshengdigudao:“zheinanrenhenkeyi,wojuedekenengshigeshenjingbinghuanzhe...”

神经病患者?

zhangmangzuijiaobuyoudechouchuliangxia,laozihaoxinjiuni,nijiuzheimemaitaiwo?

talenghengyisheng:“gangcaijininiandequguizhou,yicishiwan!”

“啊!”

xiaotuantuanshunjianjingxing,qiaoliandaizhebonu,shuangmuruhuodedengzhezhangmang。

zheijiahuojiusuibiandongledongzuipizi,huluanniantaoliangju,jiuyaorenjiashiwankuaiqian!?

这不就是抢劫吗?

xiaotuantuanmianhongerchi,jiangjingtouduizhunzhangmangdelian,nushengdao:“ni...zheifenmingjiushiqiangjie!wogaosuni,zheiliyoujibaiwanrenzuozheng,dangxinwobaojingzhuanie!”

zhangmangbuxiedepiezhezui,piaoleyiyanxiaotuantuan:“de,zaozhidaorangnisizaizheilijiuhaole!”

xiaotuantuanqidesaibanggugu,duiyuzhangmangshuodehuabiaodazhefennu。

zheijiahuojingran**luodezuzhouziji,zhenshikee!

nandao,tashiguyizheimeshuode?

xiangyaoyinqizijidezhuyi?

danzheijiekouweimiantaiguofenleba?

zhenlaotu,zheiyangjiuxiangyinqiwodezhuyi!

xiaotuantuanxinlizheimexiangzhe,duizhangmangdeyinxiangshunjianjiangdidaolebushao。

zhangmanglengmouqiaoletayiyan,dandandeshuozhe:“zheibushinigailaidedifang,meishijiuzaodianhuijia。”

xiaotuantuanliansefeihong,yuqiqiangliedezhengzhidao:“pingshenmezheilizhiyouninenglai,wobunenglai!”

“yinweiwoshige...maoshandaoshi。”

xiaotuantuanyanshenguaiyidewangzheta,zhangmangdebiaoqingshifenlengdan,yuqihenqing,jiuxiangshizaishuoyijianweibuzudaodexiaoshi。

danmuyesuizhezhangmangdehua,xiaoleqilai。

“maoshandaoshi?zheirenzhenyouyisi,doushenmeniandailehaiwanzheitao?”

“jiushi,yikanjiushidianyingkanduole,zouhuorumole。”

“wokantajiushiguyizheimeshuode,borenyanqiu,ranhoushipinyouredu。”

“xiaotuantuanxiaoxindiane,zheinanrenkenengzaiguyixiyinni。”

“wojuedeyeshi,danshizheijiekouyetaihanhanledianba?”

看着这些弹幕飘过。

xiaotuantuanyejuedezhangmangshiguyizheimeshuode。

zheidoushenmeniandaile,keshiershiyishijia!

yaojiangjiukexueyuanli,quchufengjianmixin。

haizaizheihushuobadao,zheishijieshangzenmekenengzhenyoumaoshandaoshizheizhongrendecunzaini?

wokanzheijiahuojiushikanxiaoshuodianyingkanrumile,zhenyiweizijishilinzhengyingni,shigemaoshandaoshi!

笑死个人。

tagaxiaoliangsheng,buxiedelenghengdao:“wocaibuxinni。”

suihouzhuanguotougendanmujiaoliuqilai。

“随你。”

zhangmanglengshengluoxiayiju,biancongshenhoudaizizhongnachuyiwandaotoufan。(daotoufanjiushibawanliemifanshengman,anjieshizhihou,zhenggedaochulai,rangmifanxianchuwandexingzhuang,ranhouzaibamifandaozhizaiwanli,baochiwandichaoshang,erqie,mifanyidingyaoshijiashengdemifan。)

tashoujiaomalidebaihaoanzi,jiangdaotoufanfangzaizhongjian,youcongdaizizhongmochusangenqingxiang,yitafuzhi,yihezhusha,yizhimaobi。

kanzheyiqiezhunbeituodang,zhangmangmengdiyifangentou,bianzhanzaileantaiqianmian。

tashouzhongniezhefuzhikouzhongmonianzheshenjue,buguosanxi,zhangmangyanzhongdunshijinguangyizha,shouzhongniezhedefuzhijingranzijiranshaoqilaile!

zheiguiyideyimu,rangxiaotuantuankandezhenzhenqieqie。

tadengdayanjing,lianshangmanshibukesiyi!

gangcaishizijikanhuayanlema?

suishouyihuifuzhijiuzheqilaile?

这是什么套路?