第2章坑爹的系统
“正道系统启动。”
linfanlengzhule，namenzidezhengdaoxitong，zijishitangtangmoshenzhuanshi，modaoyoumingzongqinchuandadizixuemolinfan，xiemowaidao，sharenruma，yingjunxiaosa，xiuzhenjiegaofushuai，zenmedoubukenenghezhengdaocheshangyimaoqianguanxia！
“宿主是否接受？”
“haiyoubiedexitongma？”
“没有。”
“有什么好处？”
linfankaishitaojiahaijia，xianzaidechujingqueshihencha，jintianchadianjiuluxian，bixuxiangbanfajinkuaihuifushilizibao。
“tongguorenwuhuoquzhengdaozhi，zhengdaozhihuajienixinzhongliqizengjiaxiuwei，wanchengrenwukeyidedaojiangli。”
linfanxinlipansuan，xianshishishishenmewanyi，zhishaobimeiyouqiang。
“接受。”
“xitongbangdingchenggong，suzhu：linfan，zhengdaozhi：-1000，qidaizhi：0，chengzhanglv：0。”
“啥意思？”
linfanxianzaihaimeinongqingchuzheigezhengdaoxitongdaodishishawanyi，zhishixiangzheyougexitongjiachizongbimeiyoudehao，youqishixianzaidechujing。
“shuojiandandian，huodezhengdaozhikeyitishengqidaizhihechengzhanglv，liangxiangzhishuyuegao，houqidejiachengjiuyueduo，huodedehaochuziranyejiuyueduo。”
“laozishifushu，gaoshenme！”
“suzhushalutaizhong，bixujiangzhengdaozhitishengdaozhengshucainenghuodelinglihejiangli。”
“靠。”
linfanmaleyiju，tawanwanmeixiangdaozheiduanduihuahuibeijigexunshidedizitingdao，dangranzhishiyibufen。
zhenggeyoumingzong，meiyourenganzuochurenheduidashixiongbulideshi，hekuangcishidedashixionghaizaifahuo。
“大师兄怒了。”
“buzhidaosheiyaodaomeile。”
“zenmeban？mingtianwofuzejiaodashixiongqichuang，sheihewohuanyixia。”
“我可不想死。”
neimingfuzejiaoqichuangdedizimianrusihui，liangtiaotuibutingfadou，ruguodashixiongxinqingbushuang，mingtianbaqisazaizijitoushang，kendingshisidingle，zheizhongqingkuangbingbushimeiyouxianli。
“自求多福吧！”
jimingxunshandizikuaisuliule，shengpayihuijiandaodashixiong，pikairouzhandousuanshiqingde。
wandanle，dashixiongxuemolinfanshengqile。
xiaoxihenkuaizaiyoumingzongchuankai，pingshineixiexiulianbunulidedizicishifenfenkaishikuxiu。
zhengdaoxitong，linfanmeitoujinsuo，kanlekanzijidezhengdaozhi，jihukeyifangqi，yigemodaodiziruguochuquzuohaoshi，qibushirangrenxiaohua，yihouzaimodaoyebiexianghunxiaqule！
“da，dashixiong，gaiqichuangle。”
“知道了。”
menpaixiaodizizhanzhanjingjingduozaimenkou，daqibuganzhangchu，linfankanletayiyan，suiranmeiyoubanfayunzhuanlingqi，bijingjingyanhaizai，yanqiandexiaodizitianfubudi，kexixiulianbudefa，jingmaimingxianyouxiangchongdedifang。
“zenmewanlebankezhong？”
“没，没有。”
“还敢顶嘴！”
linfanyijiaotichuqu，menpaixiaodizizhijiefeichuqujimiyuan，linfanxianzaiyongyoudeshiliantijingdachengdeshili。
“dashixiong，raoguowozheiyici。”
“错了就要受罚！”
xiaodiziguizaidishangbugandong，linfandierjiaotichuqu，weizhiqiahaoshixiongkoudexuewei，kansishizaichengfaxiaodizi，qishishianzhaoyitaogongfadeweizhi，buduanjiangxiangchongdeqimaidatong。
“大师兄发火了。”
“huogai，sheirangtadezuiledashixiong。”
“打的好。”
xiaodizidaozaidishang，linfankanletayiyan，“meisijiuqilai。”
“大师兄，饶命。”
“滚。”
zuihouyijiaotichu，xiangchongdeqimaidakai，yihoudexiuweikendinghuitufeimengjin，beidadexiaodiziliangundaipadeliule，qitadizifenfenlikai，shengparenuledashixiong。
“gongxisuzhuwanchengrenwu，zhengdaozhi50，qidaizhi0.005，chengzhanglv0.5%。”
“kao，zenmejizheimeshao！”
linfansongleyikouqi，diyicijuedezuohaoshizheimenan，shenmegoupizhengdaozhi，jueduishikengdiedewanyi，zheigeshentiyebuzhidaozenmele，weilebaoming，bixujinkuaihuifushili。
“还有任务吗？”
“you，putongrenwu、yibanrenwu，haishibiantairenwu？”
“有什么区别？”
“nandudengjibutong，wanchenghouhuodedezhengdaozhibutong，nanduyuegao，huodedeyueduo。”
“变态！”
“suzhujieshoubiantairenwukaoyan，kaolvdaosuzhuliqitaizhong，quefaqinggan，zheiyiciderenwushisuzhuyaoxiangdiyigejiandaodenvshengbiaobai，dedaonvshengqinglai，renwuwancheng。”
zheirenwuhaizhengoubiantai，bunengzijixuanze，diyigejiandaodenvshengjiuyaobiaobai，ruguoyudaodeshiyigeyouchouyoulaodepopo，yibeizideshengyujiuchedihuile。
“可以放弃吗？”
“bukeyi，yidanjieshourenwu，fangqirenwukouchutongdengdezhengdaozhi。”
“靠！”
shenmegoupizhengdaoxitong，gaochulaiderenwuzheimebiantai！
linfanzheigeshihouzhinengxuanzewancheng，huifushiliyaojin，ruguobeirenzhidaozijixianzaizhiyouliantijingdayuanmandeshili，xiangxinzaiyoumingzonghuobuguoyitian。
youmingzongshangxiadoushinanren，dixiapaodelaoshuyinggaidoushigongde。
linfanyigerenchushanmen，tajuedingxiayitangshan，zhaogenvrenwanchengrenwu。
“大师兄下山了！”
“zhongyuzoule，hu，keyibuyongxiulianle。”
“haishixiaoxindian，wanyishishitanwomen，jiumafanle。”
“dui，dashixiongbuzai，womengengyaorenzhenxiulian，bunengyourenhesongxie。”
linfancishiyimenxinsiwanchengrenwuhuodezhengdaozhi，yiliuxiaopaocongshanshangxialai，zheilishiyoumingshan，jihanzhidi，zhengzuoyoumingshandefanweijida，bingbuwanquanguishuyoumingzongzhangguan，jiyilitazhishiquguoqizhongyixiaopianquyu，shizuncengjingshuoguojueduibukeyijixuwanglizou，fouzehuiyudaodaweixian，shenzhidiuming。
脚印！
linfandunxia，zhendeshixingyun，gangcongyoumingshanshangxialaijiufaxianlejiaoyin，yinweizhiqianxiaguoyu，suoyijiaoyinhenqingxi，yigongshisigeren，congjiaoyindaxiaopanduan，yinggaishisannanyinv。
女人！
linfanzuijiaoluchuxiaoyi，nengjinyoumingshanfanweidekendingshixiulianzhe，yangziyinggaiyebunengtaicha，jiashangzheilishizijidedipan，zhijiebiaobaijiusuanbeijujue，xiangxinyebuganbazijizenmeyang。
zheigexiangfabucuo，linfananandeyi，jiaoyinchaozheyoumingshanxibeifangxiangyanshen，suoxingzhuanshenchaozhejiaoyindefangxiangzhuiqu。
yikuaijudadeheishihouzhanzhesiren，shouchiliren，dishangdaozheyizhiheisezhangyamengshou。
“dashijie，dongxiyijingnadao，yinggailikefanhui，zheilishiyoumingzongfanwei，ruguoyudaoneigemotoujiumafanle！”
“shia，youmingzongxuemolinfan，lengxuebiantai，sharenbuzhayan，qianwanbieyudaozheigeren。”
“闭嘴！”
nvzimianseyichen，“zaojiuxianghuihuita，kankanshitadeyouguigonglihai，haishiwogengqiang！ruguozhenrangwojianleta，zhijieshaleta。”
qitasanrendunshibuganhangsheng，zheiweidashijieheneiweichuanwenzhongyoumingzongxuemolinfanyouyipin，sheiyaoshidezuileta，busiyeyaodiaocengpi。
“daishangdongxi，jixuwanglizou，woyaokankanzheiyoumingguididaodiyoushenmelebuqi！”
linfanduozaianchudaqibuganchu，changzidouhuiqingle，buyinggaigenlai，likaiyoumingshanzhaoyigecunziwanchengrenwujiuxingle，xianzaiyijingbuxingle，zhengdaorenwusuodingleneigenazhelijiandeenvren。
maya，nandaoyaohetabiaobai？！