第五章节心底最脆弱的地方

tagaoxingjile,jiuheguantianshaoshuomingleqingkuang。guantianshaobaguanjiadesuoyouxiarenjiaodaoleyiqishuohua:“songyaoyaoxiaojieshidaxiaojiedehaojiemei,dajiabatadangchengxiaojieyiyangkandai,haiyou,songyaoyaoxiaojiedemamamashangjiuyaozhujinlai,dajiachenghutaweifurenhaole,batadangchengguanjiadezhongyaode,zunguidekeren。”

dajiadoudayingcaituichuqu。jiadayeduo,renyeduo,zheigeguantianshaoxiangdaole,weilemianxiarenkouza,tabudebuzheiyangzuo。zhiyutaweishenmeyidingyaozheiyangzuo,tadaoshimeixiangxiangguo。

dangsongyaoyaohemamayiqilaidaoguanjia,guanjiaderenquanbuchulai,zaimenkouyingjietamen。zheigexingweirangsongyaoyaohengandong。rangsongyaoyaomamajuedeshoudaolezunzhong。

jiuzheiyang,tamenmunvzaiguanjiazhulexialai。guanjiahenda,fangziyeduo,songyaoyaomamabushizhuzaizhuwu,ershizhiyouyigemenkoulianzhezhuwudeyigedulixiaopianwu。neishiguanjiazuizhuyaodeqinpenghaoyoulaizuokeshizhudedifang。

zheiyitian,songyaoyaoheguanhuahuayiqizaihuayuanzhongsanbu,zouleyihuierhou,guanhuahuazuozaileyigeyizishang,ganggangjingguohuayuanshi,kandaoyougongrenzhengzaizhenglihuacao。tamenkandaosongyaoyaoheguanhuahua,jujindijiaozhe:“songyaoyaoxiaojie,daxiaojie。”songyaoyaodiandiantou,tamenjiujixuzuohuizijishouzhongdegongzuo。

songyaoyaoyezuoxialai,kankanzheili,zhenshianjingna,tahenxihuan。mianduizheiyangdeqingjing,songyaoyaoyoukaishinianqiletazaishufanglikandaoleguanhuahuadeshu。tanianzhe:“changshihuangsejianmeijian。songguiwotongpan。……”

zheishiwanganshide《suzhongqing》。tanianwanle,fajueguanhuahuachuqideanjing,tadeliangyanningshizheqianfangdemouyidian,zaishensi,shensizheshenmeyiyang。songyaoyaoxiaole,meicitanianshu,guanhuahuazongshizheizhongbiaoqing,tacishicikeshiduomedezhengchangna,sheiyexiangbudaotashiyigebingren。

erqiezaizheixierizisongyaoyaoxixindezhaoliaoxia,tadeliansebuzaineimecangbai,jianjiandeyouledandandehongrun。tadeshenziguyemeiyouneimeqingshoule,chuanqiyifulai,buzaixiangchengqikongdangdangdeshenzijiayiyangle。

songyaoyaojixunianzhelingyishou:liqingzhaode《yijianmei》

红藕香残玉簟秋,

qingjieluoshang,dushanglanzhou。

……caixiameitou,queshangxintou。

tagangnianwan,guanhuahuajijididuitashuo:“zai……zainianyici。”songyaoyaoshuolesheng“haoya。”tayounianleqilai,taxihuanguanhuahuadezheizhongfanying。lantianfengyishengshuozhiyaotadezhengchangfanyingyueduo,tahuifuzhengchangderizijiuyuejinle。

tayibiannianyibianwenroudekanzheguanhuahua,zhijiantadejingzhidelianyizhenhongyizhenbaide,haiyoujiushizhenggeshenzizaiweiweidezhandouzhe。dengdaosongyaoyaonianwan,tadelianzhangdetonghong,qiqiaiaidekaikouniandao:“yizhongxiangsi,liangchuxianchou。ciqingwujikexiaochu,caixiameitou,que——que……”

songyaoyaozhangkoujiexialai“queshangxintou。”“dui,dui,shiqueshangxintou。”guanhuahuaturanzhuanguolianlai,jingyadijiao:“ni……nishishei?nishishei?”

“wo……”songyaoyaoyixiazibeixiyuejingdaile,guanhuahuata……“a……”guanhuahuatongkudikuangjiaozhe,shuangshoubaozhetou。“buyao,wo……buyaoa!a……”taruanruandedaolexiaqu,genzhe,hunguoqule。

songyaoyaohehuaile,tashouzuwucuodikanzheguanhuahua,xiangyaobatabaoqilai,keshi,libucongxin。tazheji,tabuzhidaoyaozenmeban。

zheishi,guantianshaobenleguolai,tahuilaiyizhenzile,takandaoleguanhuahuadebianhua,tazhengzaijidongzhe,xiangbudaojiuchuxianlezheiyangdeqingkuang。takandaoleguanhuahuadaoxiaquhunguoqu,tabaoqita,yibianpaoxiangfangzi,yibianduisongyaoyaoshuo:“woxianjinqu,nijilantianfengyishengdianhua,rangtamashangguolai。”

“haode。”songyaoyaoyingzhe,tahenxiangqukankanguanhuahuadeqingkuang,danshitabudebutingguantianshaodehua,xianjilantianfengyishengdadianhua。

lantianfengyishenghenkuaijiuguolaile,songyaoyaobazaihuayuanzhongfashengdeqingkuang,guanhuahuatingnianshi,ranhouzijinianshi,ranhouwentashishei,xiangxidishuojilelantianfengyishengting。shuowanle,jiujiaojidiwenlantianfengyisheng:“zenmehuizheiyangde?tadeqingkuanghaobuhaoni?”

lantianfengyishengjianchaleguanhuahuadeshenti,“ta,huibuhuizenmeyangya?”songyaoyaoyouwen。“womendaoketingqu。”lantianfengyishengheguantianshaoshuo。ranhouduisongyaoyaoshuo:“niliuxia,kanzhuta,qianbuyaodongta,yaoshitaxinglai,mashangjiaowo。”“haode,wozhidaole。”

tianzhidaotayouduodanxinguanhuahuadeqingkuang,taxiangtingtinglantianfengyishengzenmeshuo。keshi,tabunenglikai,tadesuishizhuyizhetadeqingkuang。guantianshaohelantianfengyishengzuozaiketingli,guantianshaodexinshitantebuande,dengdaoliangrenzuodingxialai,takanzheyanqiandehaopengyou,zaidengzhetashuohua。

“niyidinghenxinji,xiangtingtingwozenmeshuoba?”guantianshaodiandiantou,pingrilidelengdanquanbubeijintiandedanyoubiaoqingsuodaiti。cishicike,zheigerenxiandehuangraneryoujiaolv。lantianfengyishengdingledingshen,xiangzhecuoci,tahuanhuandeshuodao:“zheiyici,kenenghuahuahuishuidehenjiu,henjiu,huozhebantian,huozheyitian,shenzhigengjiajiuyidian。”

“a?weishenme?”guantianshaoxiangbudaoqingkuanghuibianhuachengzheigeyangzi。tajingyadewenleqilai。“yinweitazhengzaihetadebingmozuozhan。buzhiyaohuaduozhangshijian。erqie……”lantianfengyishengzaijiannandexiangzheruhebiaoda。

“nishuoba,woyeshiyimingyisheng,wokeyijieshoude。”guantianshaoanweizheyanqiandehaopengyou。

“ruguotazhanshenglebingmo,neitaxinglaishi,tajiushizhengchangderenle,ruguotazhanshengbule,neitashi……yexuyihouyaohuagengjiaduodeshijianhejingshenlaizhiliaole。buyaohuixin。womenjiuanzhaodubodedingyilaidingtaba。”

“neitayouduoshaoshengsuan?”guantianshaowenzhexinlibianxiangdewenti。lantianfengxiangleyixia,shenzhiyoushendehuidata:“yexuyouliucheng,huozhegengjiahaoyidian。”“liucheng,yehenbucuole。woxiangxinta,womendajiadouxiangxintakeyide。”guantianshaotingwanlelantianfengyishengdehuahouzuihouzheiyangzongjiedao。

“shisongyaoyaohuanqiletadejiyi,fouzebuzhidaotayaoduozhangshijiancaixing,zhishaosangeyuehuozhewugeyueyeshuobudingcainenggoudadaoxianzaidejieduan。”

“neinijuedezheiyangshihaoshihuaini?”lantianfengyishenghaoqiguai,guantianshaomingmingjiushiyisheng,tayinggaiyouzheifangmiandezhuanyezhishicaixing。keshi,xianzaizenmehaoxiangyizhizimeiyouleni,lianzheimejiandandewentidoumeiyoulepanduanli。

kanlai,tashitaiguoguanxinguanhuahuadebingqingle,tasuobiaoxianchulaidewanquanshiyigeqinrensuoyinggaiyoudefanyingna。lantianfengyishengbeiyanqianderengandongle。taxindiliyouyigexiaoxiaodemimi,tayizhimeiyoushuochulai。

zheimeduonianlai,tayizhidushen,bushimeiyouhetatiaojianxiangdangdenvhaizi,ershitadexinliyizhiyouyigeqianying,zheigeqianyingshiguanhuahua。zaiduonianqiandudaxueshi,diyicilaiguanjiawan,kandaoguanhuahuashi,jiushenshendebeizheigemeilidenvhaizixiyinzhule。

danshi,tahaineimenianqing,keyishuohaishigehaizi。tabuganquxiang,juedezijihenkexiao。houlai,guanjiachushile,tayizhizaibeihoumomodekanzhe,jinzijideliliangbangmangzhe。yizhidaoguanhuahuabeisongdaoguowaiqu,tahaishijianchiyigeyuequkantayici。

jinguanyouneimeduonvhaiziduitaansongqiubo,ketajiushibuquxiangzheigewenti。jialirendoujizhe,tazhidao,dantadexinshi,xinlidetongku,yejiuzhiyoutazijiyigerenzhidao。xianzai,tadexinqingmeiyouzaiguantianshaomianqianbiaoluchulai,yiqiedouhaimeiyoudingxialai,erqietabuganquedingguanhuahuashibushiyexihuanta。

zaifabingqian,guanhuahuazongshixihuanzhanzhetashimeiyoucuo,keshisheizhidaoneishibushiyigexiaonvhaiziduiqinren,(guanhuahuabatakanzuoshiqinrende,tacengjingshuoguo。)deyilian。taxiangzhexiangzhe,ranhouhuidaguantianshao: