xinghaodadiangechudouyouzhenfafanghu，yaoburanjiubushiyipianlangjie，ershiyipianfeixule。
raoshishangguanmeiwuhuangqiangzhedexiuwei，yebeiyipianlangjiemaiqilaile。
haoburongyishenchuyizhishou，jimangjiaodao：“nvdidarenbieshengqi，wotoujiangle!”
“heng，suannishixiang!”guimizhijian，yebushidiyicizheibancaozuole，wushuangnvdilenghengyisheng，batalalechulai。
shangguanmeiyibianzhenglizhuangrong，yibianrenbuzhuqidao：“nizheijiahuoshuofanlianjiufanlian，mulaohu……e，bushi，woshishuo，wulaofu……nile，wozheijiujininchuzhuyi。”
neihuajideyangzichadianbawushuangnvdidoule。
jimangbengzhudao：“buyaonaole，kuaijizhenxiangxiangbanfa!”
“haohao!wozheijiujininxiangbanfa。”
shangguanmeijimangdayingzhe，queyoubayishuangmeiyanzhuanlezhuan，dao：“nitangtangwushuangnvdi，suibianxiadaoshengzhishenmeshiqingjiejuebule，zhenyaowojinichuzhuyi?”
“zheibushizhengzhilianyin，woyebuxiangbita，xiashenmeshengzhi?”
岳无双没好气道。
“woxiangyaoyifenzhenzhenzhengzhengdeaiqing，woxihuanta，woxiwangtayexihuanwo，xihuanwobenren，erbushiwodeshenfenheshili。”
“shuodehao!”yuewushuanghuayingangluo，shangguanmeiguzhangdazan。
“shenweitianyuandaludiyiren，yaoxiangshouhuozhenzhengdeaiqing，nijiudewangjizijideshenfen，wangjizijideshili。”
“ng，kanlainizheishidonglezhenqingle，bingbushiweilejiechuxinmo。ruguoshiweilejiechuxinmo，yidaoshengzhi，huozheyidaoshadiao，zuyi!”
“yesuanshiweilejiechuxinmoba!”yuewushuangquedao。
“danwoyedequeshizhendexihuanta，suoyiwojuede，ruguowobucaiquneiyangdeshouduan，fanerbingbunengzhenzhengjiechuwodexinmo。”
“wojuede，weiyouzhenzhenzhengzhengdeaiyichang，cainengchenggong!”
“nizheijiushidongzhenqingle!”shangguanmeidao：“niyijinglianzijiyegaobuqing，shiyaojiejuexinmo，haishiyaogennidexiaoqingmeizhumaaiyichangle。”
“buguo，benqingshengzhichinidexuanze!”
上官媚自诩情圣。
然后开始分析。
“jiranruci，ninjiubunengduitaqiangzhigaoya，yebunengyongyinmouguiji，gengbunengzhuataderuodianjinxingyaoxie。”
shangguanmeitingchulaile，zhaoyusihubuxiangbaolushili，zheijiushiruodian，huanyizhongqingkuangbiankeyiyaoxieta，danxianzaiquebuxing。
“xianzai，womenzhinengyongyangmou!”
“shenmeyangmou?”wushuangnvdidengshilailejingshen。
“yangmou，jiushiyiaiqianggong，liaota!”zheishihoudeshangguanmei，jiuxiangyizhiwendaoyuxingweidemao，hunshenshangxiadoutouzheneimexingfen。
“nizheiyang，xianqingtajingong……ranhouyongshan……zairanhou……dengbataliaodexindongle，zaishuojiehunduitayoushenmehaochu。”
“tacaijiuxingwuzongba，yinggaihenkuaijiuyaochongjiwuwangjingjie，neinijiugaosuta，zhiyaogennijiehun，jiuyouzigexiangyonghuangjiamizangdepozhangdan，baotatupowuwangbizhangqingeryiju，gentongchuanghuzhiyiyangjiandan。”
“ranhou，buguanchengbucheng，ninzaisongtayijianyoujinianyiyidexiaoliwu，dangranbuyaotaiguizhong，yimianhedaota。”
“hao!buguo，tayaobulaini?”
“tabukenengbulai，bulaijiushikangzhi!”
“ketayaozhenbulaini，wozongbunengyinweikangzhishaletaba?”
“shashibunengsha，keyihehuhehu!”
“hehuwoyebushedea，wanyihedaozenmeban?”
“……”shangguanmeidingzhewushuangnvdilenglebanshang，renbuzhudao：“nishenmeshihouhuixincishouruanle，gangcaishoushiwodeshihoukemeijianyidian?”
“neinengyiyangme?”wushuangnvdilizhiqizhuangdao：“nipicaorouhouyoukangzou，zhaoyuxipinenroudezenmegennibi?”
“haohaohao!”shangguanmeijiqide，“nijiazhaoyuxipinenrou，woshangguanmeipicaorouhou，woshikoujiaodahan，xingleba?”
你，你做个人吧!
……
这时候，玄武门。
“zhaoyu，nidaodishenmexiuwei?”
pangziyibianjingtidezhushijinchuhuangchengdegeserendeng，yibianhenghengzhexiaoshengxunwen。
“woshuoyangdage，nidouwenleshibabianle!”
赵宇满头黑线。
pangzi，yangjiangong，shoumenduiwuzhongzuipangdeyige，haishixiuweizuidideyige，rensongwaihaofeizhayang。
renquehenreqing，zhaoyujinchenglaiyingzhengruwu，doushitabangmang，shenzhidaoxianzaidouhaishimianfeidezhuzaitajiadexiaoyuanxiangfang。
danshi，zicongnvdiluanjiahuigongkaishi，tajiubutingdezhuiwenzhaoyushishenmexiuwei，ruguozaijiashangqitarendexunwen，lianggeshibabiandoubuzhile。
zhaoyushizhenbeiwenfanle，youwanmeiwan?
“wodoushuoleyibaibianle，wuxingwushi，biniyezhigaoyixing!”
“hei!”pangziyitingjiuxiaole，“nipiandelebieren，pianbulewo!nishuoshiniwuxingwushi，kenigeboyitai，wojiufeile。”
“bierenwen，wodoushuowoshenzichen，jiaoxiayihua，zijishuaide，danqishi，woxinlimingjingside，jiushibeiniyitaigebosaofeide。”
“erqiewohaiganjuedao，nixiaoziyidongbianyinyindaizhelinglibodong，zheishuomingniqimashidawushidianfeng，shenzhihaikenengshiwuzong。”
ng?yitingzheihua，zhaoyuxiayishidepieleyangjiangongyiyan……