第一章我的小后桌
banjiangdianlicaigangkaishi，muchongjiuxunsubapingleresou，yigegehongdide“bao”zi，zhaoshiletadezhishoukere。
“慕崇天选影帝”
“haiyoushenmeshimuchongbuhuide”
“慕崇最佳编剧”
nadaozuijiananzhujiaojiangduitalaishuoyijingshixisongpingchang，kezheihuidezuijiabianjuyebeitashourunangzhong。
《nideyanmou》dejuben，shitadulichuangzuowancheng。tapingjieshilirangwushuyingmiyouyicibeitashenshenzhefu。
对此，我不感意外。
wodakaimuchongdechanliangtaitaiqun，bushaotaitaidouqulebanjiangdianlixianchangweiguan，zhengrehuochaotianfabiaozhegankai，bingjingtanyumuchongdecaihuayumeimao。
“sheidongsheidong？muchongjianzhishixingzoudehuabao！”
“awl！muyingdiyanshenshawo！！”
“mingmingkeyikaolian，pianpianyaokaocaihuadedianxing！”
buzhidaoshisheifaxianlewoyizhimeimaopao，dajiakaishifenfenaitewo，wenwoyoumeiyouqu。
woshizuizaochuangzuomuchongxiangguanyanshengzuopinderen，xielebushaobentongrenwen，muqianyoujibenhaizaigengxin，dajiakanwo“degaowangzhong”，xichengwowei“zhenggongtaitai”。
banjianglishoupiaodangwan，yigezhapiandianhuajidiaolewoqiangpiaodepingmu，qiangpiaoshibai。
wojianshulebeicuijingli，dajiatiwoyihan，shishishangwoyijingxiguanleyumuchongdesuoyouyihan。
yexucuoguocaishiwoyutademingzhongzhudingdejieju。
yanjingshoushuhouwohuanshangganyanzheng，erqieyongyanjiulehuiyinqiqiangliebushi，jiudasuanguandiaoshouji。
kezheishiqunlideyitiaoxiaoxizuzhilewodedongzuo。
“zanmenjiaguawangmuchonghaoxiangyouqingkuangle！suirandaizhekouzhao，dannengkanchulaishiweipanjingtiaoshundedameinv。muchonglingwanjiang，tazhulihaiquanchenghusongtaquhoutaile。”
woxinkouchoujin，tounaoxuanyun，keyanjingtongdefama。
huran，shoujidingduantongshituisonglelaizibutongzixunruanjiandexiaoxi，biaotidoushi“muchongtuodan”。
wozhandouzheshouzhidiankaiyige，faxianhaiyourenpaileshipin。
shipinli，kouzhaomeinvwuguanliti，meiyanmingmei，youqishibizishangdetuofengyouqixianzhu，tashoupengzheyixiaoshuyujinxiang，zaibanjiangrenxuanbumuchongweizuijiabianjudeneiyike，diluoyikeleizhu，qiahaobeilurendejingtoubuzhuodao。
taishangmuchongyoumofengyadejiangzhebanjiangci，jiciweixiaoshidoushiwangxianglekouzhaomeinv，fangfoyinzhengleneijuhua“renzaixiaodeshihouhuibuzijuekanxiangzijixihuanderen”。
huazhidemohu，dengguangdehongtuo，fanerjishipinzhongdeliangrenzengtianleyizhongnanyizhuomodesuminggan。
dajiafenfencaice《nideyanmou》paishedejiushimuchongyunvyoudeaiqinggushi。
“zheikeshimuchongdechuliana！zheiweijiejieshangbeizizhengjiuleyinhexiba？”
“zaixianchang，woshineishuyujinxiang！jiejiehaomi！yingdiyaohaohaozhenxia！”
“sheijianlebushuoyijuhaopay！”
woguanshangshouji，tanruanzaiditanshang，xinzangchuanlaidetonggandixiaoleyanjingdecitong。
yexuyiqiedougaijieshule。
shangbanhuijia，liangdianyixian，xunguidaoju，jiushiwodeshenghuo。ruguofeiyaoshuoyoushenmetebie，neijiushiguanyumuchongdebufen。
wobuguanzhurenhemingxing，chuleta。
tachudaowunian，woguanzhutabanian。
zheixienianwoyizhizhuizhuzaitadeshenhou，tacongbuzhidao，woyemeixiangguorangtazhidao。woyiweiguangmangwanzhangdetaliwoyuelaiyueyuan，kexianzaiwocaijingjue：yuwoeryan，taconglaidoushiyaobukejidecunzai。
wodasuanzheiliangtianbazuozhezhanghaoyijixiangguanfensiqunquanxianzhuanchuqu，genguoqubaniandewochedizuoyigegaobie。
linshuiqian，woxiguanxingdisuiyidakaitadeyibudianying，qiahaoshi《nideyanmou》。
zheibudianyingdeqingjiewoyijinghenshuxi，danbingbushiyinweiwokanguohenduobian，ershizaozaigaozhongshimuchongjiuxiexialezheigejubenchugao。
neishiwozuozaitahoumiandezuowei，tazongshixihuanyonghoubeikaozaiwodezhuoqian，shibushidigenwoshuohua。
wodeyanjingjihushimangde，yanqianzhiyoutaxiaofudeyipianlanse，kewoduishengyinhenmingan，tadeshengyindichunwenrun，yourudongriliretengtengdetangchaolizi，rangrenxinanxintian。
suoyimuchongmeicigenwoshuohua，wodouxinzangkuangtiao，zhishiwoyanshidehenhao，congweibeitafaxian。
tadetongzhuoshibanlizuipiaoliangdenvsheng，henxihuanta，shishishangbanlisuoyoudenvshengdouxihuanta，kemuchongsihubuzenmegentajianghua。
youyicitazhongyurenbuzhuwenta：“muchong，niweishenmezhililiuxibuliwo？”
muchongyongzhijieqiaoleqiaowodezhuozi，xiaoshengshulang：“tashiwoguaiqiaodexiaohouzhuoa。”
rucilisuodangran，rucilingwoxindong。
tongxuemenyincihongxiaoyitang，huanzuoshibieren，tamenhuiqihongrangliangrenzaiyiqi，keyinweishiwo，tamenzhihuiyiweixiaocaomuchongshixihuandouxiaoxiaziwaneryi。
xiaoxiazishitongxuemenjiwoqidewaihao，kemuchongcongbuhuizheiyangjiaowo，tazhijiaowoxiaohouzhuo。
buguowojide，tajiaoguoyiciwodemingzi，neishigaoerjiuyuemodezhongwu，muchongbawocongnanxishoujianlibaochulai，wotiezaitaxiongkou，qingxiditingzhetadexintiao。
baowoquyiwushidelushang，tacengtingxialaijimiao，shuoleyijuhua，yuzheibudianyingzuihoudeneijutaiciyimoyiyang。ketoudingdexiaoyuanguangbolabaliqiahaoxiangqijiangdeyinle。
“liuxi，ruguokeyi，woxiangzuonideyanmou。”
raner，xuruodewodangshiquezhitingdaotaqinghuanwodemingzi。
caiyiwanshangdeshijian，wangyoumenjiuyijingbachulebanjianglineirikouzhaomeinvdeshenfen，shiyanyuangaoqianqian，shibaxianxiaotouming，fujianv，sannianqianchudao。
youwangyouzhiyigaoqianqianshibushiyongqianzaxialemuchong，kehenkuaijiuyouyingmishuaichulegaoqianqianzaoqiandeyigecaifang。
“niweishenmehuixiangzuoyanyuanzheixing？”jizhewengaoqianqian。
“woshihenxihuanbiaoyan，danzuizhongguqiyongqiruxing，shiweileyigeren。tashitianshengdeyanyuan，woxiwangyouyitiannengpingshiliyutabingjianzhanzailingjiangtaishang。”
xianeryijian，tashuodeta，shimuchong。
fujianv，buzuoyao，weiairuxing，wangyoumenhenkuaibeigaoqianqiandezheisangebiaoqianquanfen，fenfenzaitadeweiboxiapinglunzhufu。
“shenxianaiqing，kesiwoleaaa！”
“zhufuchonggaocp！woqubaminzhengjubanguolai！”
“jiejiejiayou！yaogenmuyingdidingfengxiangjiana！”
tanbaishuo，wobujidugaoqianqian，zhishiyouxiebukesiyi，yuanlaimuchongxihuandenvhaizishizheizhongleixing。
danwoyizhiqingchu，muchongbuhuixihuanwo，pingfanrubaikaishuiyiyangdewo。