第1章 老公变成了丑八怪

“xiaomomo,nibiepa,wodoubaozhenile,daoshihounizhiguanbiyanwangxiatiao,zhenggeguochengyejiusanwufenzhongdeshi!”chuyunzhanzaishengaomadadesimohoumianzhinengyangtoushuozhehua,ganjuegongzuorenzaititamenbangyaodai,cetoukanlekanqianmiandeshenyuanyanleyankoushuidao:“laofanshuaigebangjinyidianha,womenbijinglianggerenni!”

“fangxinba,daihuidenganquanshengkoushanghouhaihuizaijianchayibiande,”shuozhejiangtamenyaojiandeshengsuoyoushouleshoujixudao:“nixianhaohaozuohaonilaogongdesixianggongzuoba。”

chuyunganjuetahesimoliangrenzheixiazhendeshiwanquantiehezaiyiqile,zheicaijixuduizheshenqiandesimodao:“ganshoudaomei,zheianquanbangdaibangdekejinle,erqiehaianquandehen,nidaihuishenmedoubiexiang,zhijiewangxiatiaojiuchengle!”

“yuner,yaobu,nizijitiaoba?”simokanlekanqianmiandeshendu,zhijuedegandaoyizhenxuanyun,yuanlaiyunershuodecijidemiyuezhilvshizheigeya,haidetabaijidongleyichang。

“shuohaoleyoufutongxiangyounantongdangde,nikankanganggangneiren,duoyonggan,duoyounanziqigai!”chuyunjianmeibanfabuyoudeyongshanglejijiangfa。

simoshenxiyikouqi,zheixiaoyatoujuranganshuobierenbitayounanziqigai,danshiyixiangdaozijidemudebuyoudezaiciyaotoudao:“buxingbuxing,wohaishibuxing!”

“nanren,bunengshuozijibuxing!”chuyunjiansimoyijiubuken,minleminzuiqingqingdianqijiaojiancoudaosimodeerbianqingshengdao:“zhiyaonihewoyiqitiaoxiaqule,wanshangwojiudayingnianzhaonidefangshilaiheniyuanfang!”

simoyitingdunshiliangyanfangguang,shaoshaohuitoubuquedingdewendao:“nishuodezhende?”

chuyundiandiantou:“zhendezhende,zhiyaoniganhewoyiqiwangxiatiao。”

simodedaokending,dunshijuedehunshendouchongmanleliliang,zhongyunengjiangxiaoyatoubianchengzijiderenle:“hao,bujiushibengjima,wotiao!”yaozhidaotazheixietiankeshibiehuaile,liangrenhaoburongyimodejialirentongyijiehunle,meicengxiangxinhundiyitianlaopojiuqinqizaofangbushuo,jihuahaodedierrijiukaishimiyuelv,meitianwanshangyingshengshengdekandedaomodedaoqueshidebudao,zheiziwei!

yixiangdaojinwandemeimiaoshiguang,simodunshijuedeyigurexueyongshangxintou,lazhechuyunhuanbaozaizijiyaojiandeshouhaobuyouyudejiuwangqiantiaolexiaqu。

shenhougongzuorenyuanshounaanquansheng:????

chuyunhaizhengxianghuitouhegongzuorenyuanshuoyishengkuaidianni,jiubeilazhetiaolexialai:“aaaaa,simonigehundan,anquanshengmeikouniaaa......”

huangsicunmougeshanqiujiaoxia,yizhibaituzhengyouxiandechizhexiaocao,hurantingjianshangmianchuanlaizhengdousheng,meiduojiulianggerenyingbiangunlexialai,baituhedeshunjiancuanmeilezongying。

“woqu,tengsiwole!”chuyunroulerouxiongkousiyaliechidezuoleqilai:“wokao,zheisheia?”

gangyizuoqilaichuyunbianfaxianzijishenbianjuranhaitangzheyigeren,zhenggerenpazaidishang,ruobushishenshangchuanzhezhangzhangdehanfu,heneiyitouwuheidezhangfa,chuyunjiuyaoyiweishizijidelaogongsimole。

zheishishenzhehanfudenanziyehuanhuanxingleguolai:“wuhaotong,kanlaiwohaimeisi!”shuozhebianyesiyaliechidemozhenaodaizuoleqilai。

“maye,guia!”chuyunyikannanrendelian,dunshihedewanghouliantuilehaojibu。

“naliyougui?”nanziyitingyeheleyitiao:“nandaowosile?”shuozhebianwangchuyundefangxiangkaolekao,qiaozhechuyunzheiyishendabanheneimanliandenongzhuang,nanzibuyoudeyihuodao:“yuner?nizheishiyebianchengguile?”

chuyunbenlaikannanzikaoguolai,feikuaidexiangyaoqishentaopaode,gangyizhuanshenbiantingdaonanzihanzijidexiaoming,dunshiyihuodekanleyanguzhuangdabandenanzi,kanlekanzijishenshangdedahongzhangpao,youkankanzhouweidehuanjing,tajidetamenbengjidexiafangshiyidapiandehubocaidui,shenshougangxiangqiazijiyiba,quefaxianzheishoufennennendeyagenbushizijineishuangcaolaodeshou!

穿越了?还是魂穿?

chuyunkanlekanduimianhaizaishashadeyanjiuzijiyifudenanzibuquedingdekaikouwendao:“sancongsideshishenme?”

nanziyilengsuijixiaozhekaikoudao:“yuner,niyoukaowo,doushuolewoshudedoukuaikeyidaobeiruliule,yi,laopochumenyaogencong,er......”

“tingtingtingbuyongbeile。”chuyunxianzaihenquedingyanqianzheigechoubaguaijiushizijilaogongsimomeicuole,kanlaitaliangzheishiyiqichuanyuele!zhibuguo,laotianzheishizaihezijikaiwanxiaoma,zheidunhoudezuichun,zheicudadebikong,haiyouneiyitiaoxifengbandexiaomimiyan,gengbieshuozuijiaobianliangliangduichengdedaheizhile,zenmekanzenmechou!

cangtiana,nihaiwogaotingshuaiqidelaogonglai!

chuyunquebudebujiangzheigexiankuanggaosulesimo,simoyitingdunshitiaojiao:“hunchuan?neiweishenmeniyangmaomeibianhainianqinglewoquebianchenglechoubaguai,zheibugongping!”

chuyunwuyuwangtian,xianzaishishuozheigedeshihouma,zaishuolehaibushita‘seyuxunxin’fouzeliangrenzenmehuichuanyue!

“zheibushizhongdian,zhongdianshixianzaiwoliangdeshenfen......”

“buxing,yunernigaosuwowoxianzaiyouduochou?”simosishibuganxindedaduandao。

chuyunzhengxiangshuoqichouwubideshihou,buyuanchuturanchuanlaiyizhenmamalieliedeshengyin,chuyunhuitouwangqu,zhijianyigelaotaitaishoujubangchuilianshangxiongsheneshademoyang,shenhouhaigenzheyidabangderen,youyanedeyouxingzailehuokanhaoxide。

lengshendeshunjianneilaotaitaijiuyijingjuzhebangchuixiaopaozhelaidaolechuyunhesimodeshenbian,erhuabushuoneishoulidebangchuijiuwangliangrendeshenshangzhaohuqu:“wodasinigexiaojianren,nidieweilejinixiyifudoudieheliyansile,nidaohao,juranzaizheihenanrengouhe!”

simoyanjishoukuaidehuangmangyongshoujieletayibangchui,daoshimeiyouyuxiangzhonglaidetengtong,chuyunyelianmangqishenxiangyaoshuoxieshenme,naihegangyiqishenbianjuedetianxuandizhuan,zhinengfuzhuleshenbiansimodeshoubei,naohailiyizhenyunxuan,zheishentiyuanzhudejiyidunshiyongrulenaohai。

simolianmanghenhendeshuaikaibangchui,shuangshoufuzhuchuyundao:“yuner,nizenmele?”

neilaotaitaijiansimofangkailebangchui,erhuabushuozaicitiqilebangchuiwangliangrenshenshangzaqu:“rangnihuzhe,worangnihuzhe,nigexiaojianren,yichushengkesizijiqinnianghedidibusuan,rujinjuranlianwoerzidoubeikesile,nigezaixing,saobaxing,wodasini!”

simolaibujifanyingzhinengbaozhechuyunyingshengshengdebeiailejixia,chuyunzaijieshouwanyuanzhudejiyihou,bianxunsudejiangsimoladaoleshenhou,shangqianyibajiujianglaotaitaidedeshoujiniezhule:“mafannizuibafangganjingdian,woliangshizhengjingfuqiguanxi,zaixiabibidexiaoxinwozouni,haiyouawoniangneishiyinweishengwonanchanqijieerwang,didizeshiyinweiwoniangmeileliqizaishengcaigenzhewoniangyiqiqude,shuoqilaiwodaoshixiangwenwen,dangchudaodishisheijiwoniangzhaodewenpo,haohaodesantiaoshengmingzuihoujingrangaodeyishiliangming,zheiwenpopabushimeileheixinqianba!”shuowanbianyibaduoguolelaotaitaishoulidebangchuihenhendediudaoleyibian。

laotaitaimingjiaoxuyingniang,zhangfusihouxianqidaerzimeibenshibianzaozaodefenlejia,yizhidougenzhexiaoerzishenghuo,xiaoerzichutiankuanshicunlideliehu,riziguodehaisuanfengyu,erdaerzichutianzhangyejiushiyuanzhudedie,zemeishenmebenshi,pingrilijiuzhinengkankanchaimaimai,zhongzhongtiandilaimianqiangdeguorizi。

zhiyuyuanzhudenianghewenpoyishi,haishiyoucisuiyuanzhudiequbaijideshihou,wuyizhongtingyuanzhudieshuoqi,shuoshenmedangchujiubugaixinneiwenpodehua,qiaozheneiwenpojiushibuhuijieshengderen,pingbaihailetayunyun。

guorandangchuyunshuochuwenpodeshiqinghou,xuyingnianghetashenhoudenvzi--yuanzhudeshenshenlijuanyanshenshanshuolexia,chuyuncishilandejixuzhuijiu,bijingshichennianwangshile,ciketadanxindeshisimobeishangdeshang。

“zenmeyang,yaobuyaojin?”shuozhewanglewangsizhoudao:“zheixiangxiayinggaiyouhenduocaoyao,daoshihouwoliuyixiacailejinifushang。”

“ketengketengle!”simoweiweiququdediandiantousuihouyouxiaoshengdecoudaochuyunerbiandao:“tamenshishei?nirenshi?”

chuyunyilengsuijiyeyihuodao:“nimeiyouyuanzhujiyima?”

simoyaoleyaotou,chuyunxianglexiangdiantoudao:“e,neikenengnishuaihuainaozile。”

simo:......zenmeganjuexiangmarenni?

xuyingniangjianliangrenpangruowurendezaineixiaoshengdeshuozheihua,sihaomeiyoujiangzijifangzaiyanli,dunshiliangtuiyiwanzuozailecaodishangkaishikutianhandiqilai:“aiyowokeliandeera,nisidehaocana,weilezheigebaiyanlangnijurandashanglemingya,rangwozheigebaifarenlaisongheifarenya,rujinnishiguweihan,zheixiaojianrenshiyaojiangwoyiqidasiya,aiyo,wodeminghaokua!”

kanzhezhouweizhizhidiandianderenqun,simobuyoudejinzhoulemeitou,zheilaotaiponaotengde,zheiniandaidarengujiyefanfadeba,meiyoujingchajiushibufangbian,shouyangzenmeban?

chuyunjiansimoyilianmoquancazhangdeyangzi,qingqinglalelatadeyibai,suihoushuaijitayigeyanshen:zouren!

bushishuotadiesilema,huijiabensanga,nandaoliuzaizheikanzhelaotaipoyanxia,yigerendedujiaoxisheiaiyansheiyanqu!

chuyunlazhesimokuaisudejikairenqunjiuwangjiadefangxiangzouqu,xuyingniangbiezuleqizhengyaodashengdezaihaoliangsheng,quejianliangrenjiuzheimezoule,yikouqidunshibushangbuxiadechadianmeibeiguoqu。

“zheigexiaojianrenhaiyoulianhuiqu,wo,wochujiakerongbuxiazheimegesaobaxing!”shuozhepanshanzhexiangyaocongdishangpaqilai。

yipangdelijuanjianleganmangshangqianyibajiangxuyingniangchanfuleqilaijianzhesangzianweidao:“niang,ninxiaoxindianbieqizhezijile,buzhide,zheicunlisheibuzhidaozheiyatoushigebaiyanlang,ninkankantaneiyangkebandianmeiyoujiangninfangzaiyanli。”

xuyingniangzhanqishentingdaozijiaxiaoerxidehuadunshigengqile,tahenhendechaodishangtulekoutumodao:“pei,zhiyaowohaizaiyitian,jiuyidingyaobazheisaobaxingjiganchuqu,sheizhidaotakesiwoerzihouxiayigehuibuhuibawozheilaogutoujikesile,”shuozheyibalaguolijuandeshoubeidao:“zou,fuwohuiqu!”

huiqulushangchuyunjiangzijizhidaodedagaihesimojianglexia,zheishentideyuanzhuhezijimingziyiyangdoujiaochuyun,qiaodeshitazheilaogongmingziyejiaosimo,liangrenzuoricaiganggangchengqin,buguodaobushichuyunjiachuqu,ershisimoruzhuidaolechujia,zheiyiqiedoushichulaodietichuyunanpaide,zhiyusimoweishenmehuitongyi,chuyunjuededagaishitazhangdeshizaitaichoule!

zhiyuganggangneigelaotaitaizeshichuyundenainai,buguochulaodielaozaobianfenjiachulaile,pingrilidaoyebujianneichulaotaiduichulaodieyouduohao,buzhidaozenmechulaodieyiqujiukaishitichulaodiebaobupingle,chuyunkebuhuishashaderenweitazheishiturankaiqiaole。

“buguowozheiyuanzhuyeshizhenqipa,shuohaotingdianneijiaogongzhubing,shuonantingdianjiushihaochilanzuo,zheicongxiaodaodadehaimeizijixiguoshenmedongxini,zhenzhenshishizhibuzhanyangchunshuia!”chuyunbuyoudeshenchushizhiqiaoleqiao,haibieshuoqueshibaibaijingjingxipinenroude,heqianshendezijimeifabi。

simoqueshiyihuodemozhehounaoshao,nandaozhendeshichuanyueguolaishuaihuailenaozi,weishenmetayidianyuanzhudejiyidoumeiyouni?

neixiaoshanqiuliwuzimeiduodayuan,liangrenhaiweikaojinbiantingdaoyizhenzhendegoufeisheng,dengkaojinlecaifaxianwuziwaidaoshiyouweileyibangren,chuyunyouxietoutengzheicunliderendoubuyongxiadiganhuoma,zenmejiuneimeaicourenaoni!

“dourangyirang,rangyirang!”simohuzhechuyunwangwuneizouqu,gangzouyibanbianqiaojiancongwuneihuanghuangzhangzhangdezouchulaiyiren。

chuyundingjingyikan,zheibushiyuanzhudeshushume:“yuanlaishijializaolezeia,guaibudeneimeduorenweiguanni!”

“shen,shenme,shenmezeibuzeide!”chutiankuanbuzirandelileliyipaoqingkedao:“nidiewojinigewulile,nijinzaobasangshibanleba。”shuozhebiancongcongdexiangyaoliqu。

zhengzaizheishi,xuyingniangzaixiaoerxidechanfuxiacongcongganlai,zhengqiaopengshangyaochumendechutiankuan,xuyingniangyanshendaizheyihuodekanxiangzijidexiaoerzi,benhaixiangzhezijixianzhaodaorenqunaotengyifanbangxiaoerzituoyanyidianshijiande,bucengxiangneixiaojianrenbuanchanglichupai,haidetazaihoumianjinganmangande,kebatazhetenghuaile。

chutiankuanduizhechulaotaihezijidexifuqingqingyaoleyaotou,taganggangkeshijiangwuzifandechabuduole,keyijiumeizhaodaotamenxiangyaozhaodedongxi。

lijuanyikanmeitouweiweizhoulezhou,buyoudeandilichelechexuyingniangdeyixiu,rujinchulaodieyisikeshigejuejiadejihui,fouzedengneixiaojianrenzhidaoleneitamenhaibuzhidaoyaoshangnazhaoquni!