第1章 新年刚过,闹出人命

baihuguo,zhengyuansannian,chun。

xinniangangguo,yuanbenduijizaiwuding,heshuzhishangdebaixueyijingkaishironghuale。ningjingeryouxianghedecunzhuang,suichukejianxinniancanliudeqixi。dishangdehongsepaozhuzhi,jiajiahuhumenshangtiezhedemenshenhechunlian,douzaiwushengdesushuozhe,xinniancaiganggangguoqu。

danshi,yuanbenningjingxianghedecunzhuang,quebeiyizhendamazhishengpohuai。yuanbendaizaijiazhongxiangshouzhexinnianyuyundecunminmen,fenfenzoudaoledongcuntou,fachudamazhisedeweijia。

weijia,pojiudeyuanzinei,yigeshencaigaoda,mianmucukuangdezhongniannanzi,zhengyusigetongyanggaoda,cukuangdeqingniannanzi,duizhedishangdechuanzhehuisedanbozhangshandenianqingnanziyoudayouma.

yigebaozhehuisetoujin,chuanzhehesemianaodezhongnianfuren,yehongzheyanjingzhizhebeidadenanzipokoudama。

“modale,qinjiamodale……zaidaxia,yanerjiuyaomeimingle,wuwu……”yigechuanzhehuiseaoqun,qunzishang,dazhebuding,yongmuzanwanfa,shencaishouruo,liansefabaideroumeifuren,diezuozaidishang,duidarenderenhandao。

“tayaomeimingle,wonverkeshiyijingtangzaichuangshang,zhiyouchuqier,lianjinqierdoumeiyoule。”liushihongzheyanjing,zhuazhezijideyijin,chongneiliansefabaidefurennuhoudao。dangchuyaobushikanzheiweiyan,shigezhishushilizhiren,weirenqianheshanliang,tayouzenmehuiyouzhechuliujiajita。keshitawanwanmeixiangdao,zheixingweidejingranhuishangtanverzhici。fangcaigenzhetamenlaiqiaoshangdelangzhongdoushuole,rangzhunbeihoushi。tanverdouyaomeimingle,tayouzenmehuiraoguozheixingweide。

“wojinridingyaodasini,weiwoxiaomeibaochou。”linjiadalang,linchunshenghongzheyanjing,fahendechuaizhedishangdenanzi。

“qiancuowancuo,doushiwodecuo,ruobushiyinweiwo,yaneryebuhuituilechuliu,rangtazhuangdaoleshitou。nimenyaoda,biandasiwoba!qiuqiunimen,buyaozaidayanerle。”fengshipadaolindafengdeshenbian,sisidebaozhetadejiao,burangtawangzijideerzishenshangchuai。

yijingbeidadebiqinglianzhongdeweiyan,jianzijideniangqin,ruciqiulinjiaderen,xinzhongziranshibeifenwanfen。

“niangmoqiutamen,neiefubenjiuhuogai,niwucuo。”xiangtaweiyan,shidaolebabeizimeicaitanshanglinchuliuzheigeefu。dangchu,quneiefutabianshibeizhehengxingbadaodelinjiaren,bipozhequde,bingfeitaxinganqingyuan。

lindafengzuitengaidejiushilinchuliuzheiyaonv,tingdaoweiyanshuozijidebaobeinvershiefu,haishuotahuogai,taziranshinubukee。

“haonigeweiyan,laozijinribiandasini。”lindafengqiji,yijiaoshuaikaifengshi。jiangweiyanbeidadebiqinglianzhong,langbeibukandeweiyan,congdishangzhuaqilai。wandadequantou,zhijiebiandazaileweiyandelianshang。weiyandeshenzi,yeyinweizheyiquan,beizhijiedajinlewunei,zuijiaoliuzhexuetangzaidishang,huanbuguolai。

“哎哟……”

yuanwaiweiguandecunmin,doufenfenjiaoleqilai,shifenkeliantongqingfengshimuzi。danshi,tamenqueyebuganshangquzuzhi。zheilinjiashiliehuzhijia,wugechengniannanren,gegekongwuyouli,qiepiqibaozao,sheiganshangqianzuzhi,tamendingranyeshizhaodabuwude。

“keke……yaner,keke……”benlaijiushentibuhaodefengshi,pazaidishangkesouzhe,xintongdehuanzhezijierzidemingzi,danxinzijideerziyijingbeilindafengyiquanjidasile。

zhongyu,yufengshijiaohaodelinju,chenshirenbuzhule。zoujinyuannei,fuqidishangdefengshi,fenfenbupingdeduilinjialiurendao:“xinglinde,zheilishiwuyincun,bushinimenhutoucun,nimenkebietaiguofenle。zaishuole,weiyankeshixiucai,nimenruozhendasileta,qiekanguanfuhuibuhuizhuanimenxiadayu?”

liushichazheyao,zhizhechenshibiandashengzhiwendao:“tashixiucaiyouruhe?dasilewonver,zhaoyangdejiwonverchangming,wodasitajiwonverchangming?tianjingdiyi,guanfuyeguanbule。”

“nineinverbuhaimeisima?”chenshizhijieduileyijuguoqu。youkanzheyuanwaidexiangqinmendao:“geweilinlixiangqin,doushikanzheweijiaxiaozizhangdade。jinrichulezheiyangdeshiqing,haiqingdajiahuoerjipingpingli,duanyiduanzheishierdaodishisheidecuo?”

fengshibenjiushigexingzirouruo,youbunengyanshanbianzhiren,ruoshitazaibulazhexiangqinmenbangbangmang,zheimuzierren,dinghuibeilinjiaderenjiqifusile。

chenshikanzhezhongrendao:“zuoriyizao,weiyantaniangbiannalezhenxian,daowojiazhongyuwoyiqizuoxiuhuo。daoleshangwu,gaizuowufanlebiannazhedongxiguijia。gangzouchuwojiayuanzi,biantingdaolinchuliuzaiyuanzhongdama。matapoposhilaobusidedufu,shuotaguyibubajitaliudezaofanfangzaiguolirezhe,rangtachilengfan。tazijishuidaorishaisangancaiqilai,chibushangrefan,fandaoneibanzhoumapopo,geweixiangqinnimenqieshuo,talinchuliuduishibudui?”

weiguandecunmin,doufenfenyaotoudao:“ziranshibuduide,tiandixianayouzheiyangdeerxifuer,lanbushuo,haidanibudaozhoumazijidepoposhilaobuside。”

“jiushi,zheiyangdenver,yezhiyoulinjiarencainengyangdechulai。”

suiranshuozheifengshimuzishiwailaihu,danshizheifengshiweirenxinshan,xingziyouruanmian,yulinlizhijiandeguanxidaoyehemu。zaishuozheiweiyanbujinshiwuyincunzuichusedehousheng,yeshiwuyincundeweiyideyigexiucai,dajiadouhaizhizhetarihounengdangdaguan,zaofuwuyincunni!suoyiweiyanqulechuliuzheigeyoulanyoupang,youwaiyouedenvren,tanshanglinjiazheimenmanhengbujiangliqinjia,dajiadoushifentongqing,shifenwanxi。

“wolinjianverzenmele?wolinjianverhaodehen!”linjiaerlanglinxiasheng,yanjingyiheng,dengzheshuolinchuliubuhaodecunminnuhoudao。

beilinjiaerlangzheimeyihou,zhongcunmindoufenfenbupingdebishanglezui。

“zheishiganshenmeya?”yigezhongqishizudeshengyinxiangqi。

weizaiyuanmenkoudecunminrangkaiyitiaodao,chuanleyishenghuiseduanshan,liushisuizuoyou,liuzheshanyanghude,liangbinweibaidelaozhe,nazheyanqiang,zoujinleyuanzili。

chenshiyijianlairen,bianmangdao:“lizhangninkelaile,niruozaibulai,zheiweijiamuzidouyaobeizheilinjiarenjidasile。”

laidebushipangren,zhengshiwuyincundelizhangchenfu。

lizhangkandaoyuanzilideqingkuang,shouwangbeihouyibei,yishuangyoushendexiaoyanjing,dengzhelinjiarenzhiwendao:“lindafengnimenlinjiaren,jinrishiyaozaiwomenwuyincunxingxiongbucheng?”

fengshijianlizhanglaile,buyoufangxinleyixie。youlizhangzai,zheilinjiarenziranbuganluanlai。tabianmang,qutangzaidishangdeweiyanfuleqilai。

weiyancalecazuijiaodexue,chaolizhangzuolegeyi。

linjiarenjiushangshizaiheng,zheilizhangdemianzihaishiyaojide。

“womenbushilaixingxiongde,shitixiaonvsuanzhangde。”lindafenggengzhebozishuodao。

“suanzhang?suanshenmezhang?nimenlinjiarenhaihaoyisilaisuanzhang,zhendangwolaole,erlongyanxiabuzhidaozuorifashengleshenmeshiqingma?”zuorifashengdeshiqing,tadoutingshuole。neiweiyanxifuerhuibianchengxianzaizheiyang,wanquanshijiuyouziqu。

“zuoriruobushinineinver,damazijidepopo,weiyanneihousheng,huituileta?rangtazhuangleshitou?”zuoritasuiranmeilai,danshi,qianyinhouguo,taneixiaosunzidouhuilaijitayiyibingbaole。

zuorilinchuliuyinweifanlengle,xianshizhoumafengshi,fengshisuiranxingziruannuodanshiqueyerenbuzhushuoletaliangju。tabianfaqihunlai,haiduifengshidongshou。zhenghaobeiganghuijiadeweiyanzhuangjian,ranhoubeiweiyantuileyiba。zhenghaozhuangdaoleyuanzilidemodaoshi,zhuangpolenaodai,yunsileguoqu,fengshimuzidangxiabianqinglelangzhonglaiqiao,langzhongshuobingwudaaishangleyaojiuzoule。nazhidaojinriquehaiweixinglai!linchuliushouleshang,yuqingyuliziranshidetongzhitaniangjiaren。weiyanbianqingrenqushilizhiwaidehutoucun,tongzhilelinjiaren。

linjiarenzizhidamapopo,shilinchuliudebudui。danshitamendebaobeinver(xiaomei)yaomeilexingming,tamenduanmeiyoufangguoweiyandedaoli。

lindafenghongzheyandao:“laozicaibuguanzheixie,sharenchangming,weiyanhaidewonvermeilexingming,wobianyaotachangming。”

“changming?”chenfubujiedekanxianglechenshi?bushishuoshangletouma?zenmehaiyaochangmingle?

chenshimangjieshidao:“linjianeiyatou,jinriyizhiweixing。linjiarenguolaideshihou,dailelangzhongguolai,neilangzhongshuorenmeidejiule,rangzhunbeihoushi。”

“zheirensilema?”chenfuyouwen。

chenshiyaoleyaotoudao:“haimeini!”

“zheirenbuhaimeisime?changshenmeming?zaishuole,zheishishangzhiyouguanfuduanlean,caikeduanrenxingming。nimenkebunengsixiabianyaolerenxingming,nimenjiranyaorangweiyanzheihoushengchangming,zanmenbianyouguanfulaiduan。”chenfushuozhe,duicunlideyigehoushengdao:“ergou,quzhenshangbaoguan,rangxiantaiyelaiduanan。”

“haole!”neijiaoergoudehousheng,yingleyisheng,jiuyaowangzhenshangqu。

“咚……”

“aiyo!”wuneihuranchuanchu,zhongwuluodideshengyin,heyishengcanjiao。

zhongrenxianshiyijing,suijineiliushibianhanzhe:“chuliu……”chongjinlewunei,linjiafuziyegenzhejinlewu。

“aiyo……tongtongtong……”lingxiaoyanjingweiweibizhe,yongshoumozhezijidehounaoshao。

tazuomeng,mengdaozijiyaochidaole,yixiazibeijingxing。bianxiangwangchangyiban,fanshenxiachuang。keshibudeweishenme,tajinrizheishenzi,sihubenzhonglexuduo,zhijieshuaidaoledishang。tashenshangdaoshimeiganjueyouduotong,zhishizheinaodai,tongdelihai。

“aiyo!wodechuliuei!”liushiyijinwujiujianzijideyaonvtangzaidishang,bianmangpaoleguoqu。dunzaidishang,jiangtadeshangbanshencongdishangfuqi。suirantahenxiangjiangzijidenver,congdishangfuqilai,danshiwunaizijinverzheitijishizaishiyouxiepangda,tayirenfubuqilai。

“niang,xiaomeikeshixingle?”linjiasigeerzi,helindafengzhijieweileshanglai,kanzheliushibaozhedepangpangdenvzi。

lingxiaozhengkaidoudadeyanjing,kanzhetoudingshangfangdeliuzhanglian,lengzhule。zheixierenhaoshengqiguai,mingmingnanrenhailiuzhezhangfa,chuangurendeyifu。en,tayidingshizaizuomeng,yidingshi……