woguyidiaojinhehuachi，shuoshihuanghoutuidewo，tameiyoufanbo，xiangkankanhuangshanghuibuhuimingbianshifei。
meixiangdaohuangshangdanu，bufenqinghongzaobaijiangtajinzusangeyue，haifeiletadehouwei。
dangwanyeshenrenjingshi，huanghoutujuebeirenlanzhuleyaozhi。
zhuguanghunan，woyufadadan。
huaizhongrenqingzhanyixia，guaiqiaobudong，wotaishoudianzaitachunban:
「huanghoukekanqingneigouhuangshangle？」
「guifei……bukehuyan……」
序.
woshigexiandairen，chuandaoleshuiqiankandezheibenhougongnvelianxiaoshuoli。
nvzhushihuanghou，nanzhushihuangshang，tamencengjingqingmeizhuma，nongqingmiyi，zhidaomeiyanguifeidechuxian。
nanzhubuzaiduinvzhuyiwangqingshen，zhuanertouruguifeihuaibao。
ernvzhuyezaiyicicidebeiwumiexianhaizhongbaixiazhenlai，duinanzhusixin，yuyuerzhong。
henbuqiao，wojiuchuanchenglezheiweigenwotongmingdeguifei。
dangneidaoguiyideguangmangliwoyuelaiyuejinshi，wobianzhidaoneijiushiyaochuanshudeyuzhao。
niyiweiwohenji？bu，bieji。
womenweishenmeyaoshuo「bieji」？「bieji」shiyizhongtaidu，yizhongzhangchiyoudu，yizhongbujibuzao，yizhongtairanziruo。xuehui「bieji」，fangnengchengzhang，fangnengchengshu，fangnengyushijianbaitaizhongzuoyoufengyuan、chubianbujing……wobuzhuanglewojisilejisiwolejisiwolejisiwolejisiwolejisiwoleaaaaaaawohaojijijijijijijijijitaishanglaojunjijirulvlingaaaaajijijishiwanhuoji！
woyidiandoubuxiangchuanshu，woyidiandoubuxiangqugongdou，woyidiandoubuxianglikaiwodeshoujidiannaoyouxilingshihuoguo……
nibuyaoguolaiaaaaaaa……
1.
zheishiwochuanshudediergeyue，zaibuzhidaoshudaodiduoshaokexingxingshi，wokuaiyaowuliaosile。
yuanshulijiang，woxianzaihaizhishigexiaoxiaodaying，dedengdaowodielixiadagong，cainengyixiacuandaoguifeiweiqu。
buyaowenweishenmeshangweizheimekuai，yinweiwodietaiguozhengqi。
zhengqidaogegedachenshangshujinjianshengwodeweifen，yidingyaoshuanzhuwodie。
dangranle，wodaoxianzaihaimeijianguohuangshanggenhuanghoudeyangzi，buguotaliangdeenaigushiwodoukuaitingdeerduochujianzile。
「nitingshuolema，qianxierihuangshanghehuanghouniangniangzaiyuhuayuanshanghua，zhiyinhuanghouniangniangwuyikuamoliqingxiang，huangshangbiandashouyihuijinleshangbaipenmolibaizaifengyigongni！」
「wodetianya，huangshangyetaichonghuanghouniangniangleba，bukuishiqingmeizhumaliangxiaowucaideqingfen！」
qiangjiaoyoulianggebinvzaiqieqiesiyu，wozaiguaijiaochutiezheerduotingbagua。
qie，xianzaienaiyoushayong，haibushibiedeyaoyan**yigouyin，neigouhuangshangjiugenshilezhiside。
ganjuehaoxiangyoushenmebudui，wobujiushineigeyaoyan**ma？
tingwanbaguataotaoerduo，wojuedingquyuhuayuanguangguang，bijingwoshitugoumeijianguoshimian。
qiaozheiyipianbaihuaqifangchaziyanhongdejingxiang，biwodangchuzaiyunnanhuashijianguodehaiyaoduo，haiyaomei。
bukuishiyuhuayuan，jitianxiaqihuayicaoyuyiyuan。
womeidaibinv，zijiyigerenbuzijuezoudeshenlexie，hurantingjianyouxixiaoshengchuanlai。
zouguoguaijiao，kanjianqiuqianchuzuozheyijuemeinvziyubinvshuoxiao。
meirenbinbianyiduohaitanghua，chendefujieruxue，famiruzhi；kanxianxianyushoukongzhongyao，jushoutouzushexinpo……
zheiduanwenziyiwodewenhuashuipingdangranxiebuchulai，suoyiwodangshidezhenshifanyingshi：
woca！jiejie！wokeyi！
woyishikandaile，quanranmeizhuyimeirenshenpangdebinvmianlubuyue：
「dadan！jiandaohuanghouniangnianghaibuxingli！」
zheishengnuhehedaowole，woxunsuditouguixia：
「huanghouniangniangshuzui，chenqiewuyidarao。」
shixianfanweineituranchuxianyishuangfensexiuxie，zaiwangshangshibaixijingzhidejiaohuai，wochadianliulekoushui。
wochengrenwochanle，wojiushidasaimi！
yishuangshoujiangwofuqi，wodeshouzhichupengdaotadeshou，shoudejifudouzheimehuaruanxini，wozheihuizhinengyanyankoushuile。
「budajinde，bengongcongweitingshuogonglihaiyourucimeiren，nijiaoshenmemingzi？」
wozheicaigantaitoukanta，ranhoubeitademeimaochadianshanxia：
「chenqieshiliudaying，mingweizhiyuan。」
duishanghuanghouliangjingjingdeyanshen，woyoudianxiukuinandang。
xiangshizhaodaoyigezhixinderen，takanqilaihengaoxing：
「nidaoshiyouqu，buxiangqitaren，yinzhehuangshangdeyuanguzongbuyuantongwoheqi。」chanzhedeshouhaimeiyoufangkai，taduiwoyanranyixiao，「wojiaobaiyu，shenbaiyu。」
woshenzhibuzhidaozijizenmehuideqingong，naohaihexinshenlizhishengxiatadexiaolian。
xinzangyebushoukongzhi，xiangbeirenweilexingfenjiside。
玩手机玩的。
「小主？小主？」
binvliuyunzaiyipanghuanwo，jiangwohuanhuishen。
liuyunjianwohuishen，zheicaisonglekouqi：
「xiaozhuzenmecongyuhuayuanhuilaizhihoujiuyizhifaleng，mobushichuleshenmeshi？」
womengdiyaoyaotou：「meishenmeshi，buguoshicouqiaoyudaolehuanghouniangniang。
「shangcijianguo，benrenqishihenmeiyoulimao，meidazhaohujiuzhijiezoujinlewodexinli。」
liuyuntingwozheihua，fangforulindadi：
「xiaozhu！nikeshidezuihuanghouniangniangle？zheikebuxinga，shanghuilianmeirenbuguoshishuoleyijuhuanghouniangniangdefashibuhaokan，jiubeihuangshangjinlezu，haikekouleyueyin，houlaijiuzaiyemeirenganduihuanghouniangniangdedabanpingjiale。」
wosisuoleyihui，huiyiqizheiyeshiyuanshulideyidanvedian。
nanzhuduinvzhuqianqibaohuguodu，jitashulebushaodi。houlaitaliangbuzainongqingmiyi，nvzhubeigezhongxianhaixiadu，nanzhubuguanbuwen。
erguifeibuguoshuolejufensekanzhesuqi，nanzhujiuqiangzhichashou，ranggonglizaiyekanbudaofensededongxi，keneishinvzhuzuiaideyanse。
呵，狗男女。
budui，wozenmeyoubazijimale。