第二章家有熊孩子
“shizheiyang，zheiciwoyuanbenlaijiuzhiyoulianggejiaohuanshengminge，qichaochengxuexichengjishifenyouyi，wulijingsaimeiniandoushidiyi，benshigehenhaodeliuxuejihui，danshitazijiquefangqile，yinweixuexiaohenqizhongta，suoyizheibianxiangxiangninlejieyixiaqingkuang。”
shicailiaodezuihuandenvlaoshidaishangyanjinghoulikebiandeyansuqilai，yuleziyujieshileyuanwei。
leziyuhenqingchuqichaochengjujuechuguoshenzaodeyuanyin，taxianruzhangjiudechenmohou，caidao，“zheijianshitameiyougenwoshangyiguo，wodenghuierzhaotatantan。”
laoshikanlekanshoushangdebiao：“xianzaizhengshixiakeshijian，ninkeyixianzaiquzhaota。”
shangkelinghaimeiyouxiang，jiaoshilimianfeifeiyangyangshifenguozao。
qichaochengdemuguangtingzaishuyelineifuzadegongshishang，ganglingguangyidongzhengzhunbeidongbi，tongzhuozhangzihaoturanchuolechuotadegebo，daozhitabiyidou，bijicongyidianbianchengyitiaowanmeideziyouluotitu。
“kuaikan！kuaikan！”zhangzihaohaowuchajuebingqiehaishifenxingfendizhilezhimenwai。
qichaochengyoujideshangcizheihuojiushiyinweizaishiyanshilikandaoleyigepiaoliangnvsheng，bianjidongdizahuiletashoulideshiguan，suoyizheiciqichaochengmingxianyouxiebunaifan，baizhenghaocaogaozhishunzhesilujixujieti。
danshizhangzihaoqueyifubitahaibunaifandeyangzi：“kuaikana，menwaineinvsheng，youshilaizhaonideba？zheiguniangmeiqingmuxiuzhangdetingganjingde，nanguaiduizanmenluodaxiaohuaaidabuli，yuanlaishixinyousuoshua……”
qichaochengzheicailiuyidaomenkoudeleziyu。
erdangleziyuhaoburongyicaigenzhangzihaojianlileyanshenjiaoliu，bingzhongyuchenggongyinqileqichaochengdezhuyihou，neijiahuojingranduihanxinrukuyangdatadeqinjiejieshierbujian？！
不孝子啊不孝子！
zhangzihaogangyigezoushen，menkouneimingmouhaochidenvshengyibuzaiyuandi，muguangyisao，dunshieran，haimeilaidejijiqichaochengdaxiaobaogao，nvshengyijingzouzhitakezhuogenqian。
kantayuanbenpingzhidedanmeiyijingshengshengningchengleliangbawandao，zhangzihaotiqichaochengnielebahan……tazheishiyaomoushaqinfudejiashi？？
“qichaocheng，chulaiwomentantan？”leziyubujinbumandeshengyinhenshirenzhen。
suirankanzhebuxiang，danleziyuyuqichaochengqueshishiqinshengdejiedi，zhishiyigesuifuxing，yigesuimuxing。
huoyeshixingdebutong，liangrencongxiaoxinggeyedaxiangjingting，shuyubusundaoduifangzibijuebubaxiudeneizhong。
qichaochengguoranmeitoujiqibunaifandisuolesuo：“woyaoshangkele。”
huagangshuowan，shangkelingcuimingsidixiangleqilai。
leziyuxinyiheng，zhijiezuozaileqichaochengdepangbiandekongweishang。
xuanhuadejiaoshijiuxiangyigejichachebanmorananjinglexialai。
neikeshibeibanshangdenvshengdianjilehaojiudeweizhia，jiuzheimebeihengkongmaochudegewumingxiaobeiqianglexian？
yushifangyuanjipaidezuoweibeichiguaqunzhongyiqiangerkong，shenzhichuxiansanrenliangzhuodeqingkuang，nituiwosangjianhuohuojichenglechehuoxianchang。
“jiaohuanshengweishenmebuqu？”leziyubaozhexiongdishengzhiwen。
qichaochengqiaoletayiyanhou，yuqipoweipingdan：“womenxuexiaowulixishiquanguodingjianzhuanye……”
“danxinxuefei？”leziyudafeisuowen。
qichaochengyetongyangdehuangruoweiwen:“womenxinpindewulijiaoshoushiguoneiwaizhimingjiaoshou，gerenfamingzhuanlijiuyoujishixiang……”
“ananxinxinchuguo，qitadenibuyongguan。”leziyujixuhaobulingqingdidaduanta，danyouturanxiangqiyijianyaojinshi，“jiaohuanshengmingehaiyouma？”
qichaochengchouletayiyan，dandandao：“woyijingjileqitatongxue，shenqingbiaoyinggaiyeyijingjiaoshangqule。”
leziyuzuzulenglebanmiaocaiqidixiangduojiao，renbuzhushenshouhenhendidaleyixiaqichaochengdetou：“nizheigexionghaizia！”
huabi，moshuohoumianjipainvshengyijingzhenjingdikoubunengyan，jiushiqichaochengbenzunyebeizheturuqilaideyijiqiaodeyilianmeng。
zongmukuikuizhixia，rangtazheigexueshenghuihuizhangdelianwangnage？
qichaochengbuganzhixindidengzheta，yaoyaqiechidijizhang：“leziyu！”kaolvyixiachanghe，renle，“jinwanhuiquzaishuo。”
zhengzaihoumianchiguaqunzhongzheicaiyishibudui……
他刚说了什么？
晚上回家？！
erleziyulianshangdebiaoqingyijianjianjianghua。
qichaochengjichoukebushikaiwanxiaode。tashangwunianjideshihouqichaochenghaishigebumingshilidechouxiaohai，duanzhechuangtaishangdepenzaiyiliantianzhendiwenta：“weishenmezheixiaoshumiaozhangdezheimegao。”
yushitarenzhendihuida：“yinweitashailetaiyangya。”
tayouwen：“woshaishaitaiyangyekeyizhanggaoma？”
leziyubianyibenzhengjingdedianlediantou。
yushiyixinxiangzhanggaodeqichaochengtufaqixiang，zaiyigeyanyangtian，paodaotiantaishangdingzhejuliedetaiyangbaoshaileyixiawu，jieguoshiyinzhongshuergaoshaobutui，houyouzaizhongyiyuandezhongzhengjianhushidaileyigexingqi。leziyuyinweixinshengkuijiubianjitamailemangguoliaobiaoqianyi，qiliaoqichaochengmangguoguomin，yushigangchuyuandeqichaochengyoubeitaqinshousonghuileyiyuan。
liangrenzheiliangzibianshijiexiale。
gangkaishifumuhaiguanyiguan，houlaifaxianguanyeshibaifeikoushe，jiusuitamenqule。
yushitaliangjingchangzaijiazhongyinweiyixiejipisuanmaodexiaoshinaodetianfandifu，ertafumuquezaiyipangqilerongrongditaolundianshiju，bingduirebodejiatinglunlifachuzhangzhangdegantan：“yijiarennaochengzheiyang，zhenshizaoniea！”
jiaoshidetongxuebuzhidaoweihezongwangleziyushenshangkan，yishuangshuangyanjingrangleziyuyouxiebuzizai。
ershiwuliudetazuozaizheili，shibushixianglaicengkedeayi？
qiaozhetamendaliangdeyanshenyufaqiguai，leziyuhaishijuedinglinqibaobaogangatuichang。
“yingguozhumingdaxuebushineimehaojinde，qichaochengnengdedaozheicidejihui，zheizhongjianwomenjiaoshouyezaijilizhouxuantuijian，taturanbuqule，duoshaoyoudianbuhehuqingli……”congjiaoshichulaifudaoyuanjiuzaigenleziyufenxijushi，youdao：“zheimedadeshi，wohaiyiweinizhidaoni？”
leziyuguazhedandandeweixiao，yaoleyaotou，youcaiwen：“mingnianhaiyoujihuima？”
“jihuizongshiyoude，zhishikexibenlaijinnianyoubutiejinnengmianqubushaoxuefei，mingniandehua，haiyoumeiyouzheigezhengcewojiubuqingchule。”
chuguoqueranshiyibibuxiaodefeiyong，danleziyumuqiandekaibandesheyinggongzuoshiruguonengduojiejigedanzizongshinengcouchulaide，fucaibaituodao：“mingnianyefanlaoshiduoduofeixin，zhiyuqichaochengwohuihaohaohetashuode。”
danshishishang，zuijingongzuoshideyinglibingbushitaihao。
rujindebaomamengegejianghaizishiruozhenbao，tianqiyirebaozaishoulipahuale，daozhileziyudeertongsheyingyegenzhexianrudanji，jixialaijiujiedaoleyigedanzi。
“luxueyouqingjia？”chuanzhefensezhangqundeluomengmengjileziyujieleyibeishui。
leziyukouzhejianpan，dao：“shia。”
“又是相亲？”
乐子瑜点头。
“tashangciqingjiadeliyoubujiushixiangqinma？”luomengmengzhuiwen。
“neisheinengbaozhengxiangqinyicijiuchenggongdeni？”
luomengmeng：“……”youli。
chaifenhaoxiangkuanghou，luomengmengyousixiangqishenme，wendao：“duileziyujie，xiayueqingkewangluojuxingdesheyingdasai，niqubuqu？”
“nishuo‘jinzhiyun’？”leziyuyaotou：“dazhongpingxuankansisaizhigongping，kedazhongliyouduoshaoshizhendedongsheying”
luomengmengyeshenyiweiran。youdao“buguojinnianqingkejiangjinyoufanbeile，shuoshiyidengjiangshisanwan，erdengjiangsanwan，sandengjianghaoxiangshijizhangshenmelvyou……”huahaimeishuowan，jiubeiyanqianyiliangdeleziyudaduan：
“什么时候报名？”
luomengmengchoulechouzuijiao：“nizhenqu？keniliangenanmodoumeiyou。”zhilezhiqiangshangyizhangertongyangzhang：“nanbucheng，niyongzheige？”
qingkewangluoheduojiayulegongsihezuo，sheyingbisaikansiyutamengongsideliyiguabushanggou，shizequeshidazhezuogongyidehuangzizaiweiduojiayulegongsizuoxuanchuan。jiunaqunianhuojiangneibuzuopinlaishuo，sheyingshirujinyijingmeirenjide，shangjingdemotedaoshihonglebanbiantian。
leziyuchensi:“quniandeyidengjiang，queshishikaomotedeyanzhipinchulaide。”
“nishuoshenxinchen？”luomengmengpoxi：“wu~shigechuanqirenwu，zaiyulequanhundefengshengshuiqi，qianliangtianlingshuangjiang，haigenchangtingxuanlailegeyiwaibiaobaishangleweiboresou，rujinquanwangfenzheiduicp，buguochangtingxuanyeshigeyoushouduanderen……”
zaoyiguolezhuixingnianjideleziyuduiyulequandeshisuozhishenshao，zhishiweiweixiaole，meidasuanbaogua。danluomengmengannaibuzhu，coushanglaijixudao：“shangcigenwobacanjiayigehuodongwocaizhidao，yuanlaiwomenxuexiaodekejiaoshoushikedaoyandeerzi，nidoubuzhidaowodangshiduozhenjing，bujinruci，wohaikandaochangtingxuanwanzhekejiaoshou，zitaijiaoxiuyangyikanjiuguanxifeiqian，neichanghuodongjieshubujiuchangtingxuanjiunaxiale《jiushi》zhuchang，zheizhongjiandeshiyejiubuyaneryuleba。”
“niyehenlihai，jurankeyigendamingxingcanjiatongyigeyanhui。”leziyuwanquanpaopianzhongdian，“buguoshuoqinanmo……”leziyuruoyousuosi：“nijuedeqichaochengzhangdezenmeyang？”
luomengmengyikoushuixianxiepenlechulai。
qichaocheng？neikeshifengdananshenzhongzuikebandeyige，rangtasaoshounongzibaiposs？
难以想象！
luomengmengyeshifengdasheyingxixuesheng，benlaibaguaxinlijiuqiang，jiashangwulixishixuexiaowangpaizhuanye，qichaochengyoushiwangpaizhuanyelidejianzisheng，taderenheshiyiwanquanbuxuyaoluomengmengdatingjiuyiermuyouran。
suishuoqichaochengzhangdebulai，danqirengaolengdebukeyishi，xianqiebushuoneixiebiaobaibeiqikudenvsheng，jiushilaigongzuoshijitaqinjiejiesonggefan，doushiyifushengrenwujinlian。
sijici，luomengmengyuzhongxinzhangdao：“meixi。”