第一章:一不小心就吃了软饭

shenlangmimihuhudezhengkaiyouxiefazhangdeshuangyan,suzuirangtatoutengyulie。

咦?

shenlanghuranfaxianyouxiebuduijing,yitaitoushidanhongsedechuangzhang,shoushangyechuanlaisihuaroushundeganjue,ditouzixiyiqiao,zhuhongsedechouduanshangmianyilongyifengdiaozhuodexuxurusheng,yikanjiuyouyizhonggaoduandaqishangdangcideganjue。

“**!”shenlangdunshigandaoxinjianyizhan,nanbuchengzuowantiezikanzijitaishangxin,suoyiqingzijilaileyitangxiaoyuanzhongliuchuanyijiudexohuisuo?

zaiyimoshenshangneirouhuadehongsezhangpao,tadelianshangluchuyisiyihuo,nanbuchengzuowanzijihailaileyiduanjiaosebanyan?

henhendechuileyixiazijidetou,queyijiumeiyourenheyinxiang,naodailihunhunzhangzhang,bingqiebansuizhecitong。

“hu!”zhangshuyikouqi,shenlangshenshoubokaichuangzhang,chijiaozhanzaichuangjizhishang。

四四方方的八仙桌上,一个红色托盘上放着白玉一般的酒壶,在酒壶旁边陈列着两个小酒杯以及一个玉如意,在桌角处有一对已经熄灭了的龙凤烛,雕花的木门以及墙壁上有着几个硕大的喜字。

kandaozheigeshenlangdaoxiyikouliangqi,simihuisuoguoranjiushibuyiban,zheizhongdongfanghuazhuyedechangjingcosdejianzhitianyiwufeng!guoranshixialedabenqian!youqishizheidimian,jingrandoushifangguqingzhuan!

shenxiyikouqi,shenlangtazhebuxie,suiyouyouxiebushiying,danganjuehaibucuo,tebieshizouzaizheizhongguxianggusedefangjianzhinei,chongmanyizhonglingleideganjue。

“zhi~”shenlangdakaifangmen。

“ya!”haimeidengshenlangfanyingguolai,yidaojianjiaoshengjiuhedetayiduosuo。

zhijianyigeshiyiersuidaxiao,shuzhelianggefaji,chuanzheyishenhanfudexiaoguniangduizhezijijianjiao,shouwuzheyanjing,pianpianshouzhizhijianhailuchuyisifengxi,kanqilaishifenkeai。

shenlangyeshimengle,tahuanxianglebushaokeneng,danjuemeixiangguozheisimihuisuojingranruciqinshou,jingranguyongrucixiaodeguniang,nandaotamenlaobanbuzhidaoguyongtonggongshifanfademe?

“xiaohuan?fashengleshenmeshi?”yidaoliheshengxiangqi,jinjiezhe,yigeyejiushiwuliusuizuoyoudexiaoguniangchuxianle。

tashenchuanyishendanlvsezhangqun,mianrongjiaohao,pifunenbairuzhi,yanjingjiongjiongyoushen,wangguolaideshihoujiuyouyizhongyingqibirenzhigan。

kandaoshenlang,huozheshuoshenlangshenshangdezhuangbanzhihouliansebuyoudeyihong,jinjiezheyimofennuchuxianzaitademeitouzhongjian,yaoyaqiechideduizheshenlangshuoleyiju:“yinzei!”

shuowantaituijiuduizheshenlangchuaileyijiao。

tianjiankelian,shenlangbenlaijiuyouxieyunyunhuhude,zaijiashangtabenjiuyiweizheishizaisimihuisuo,suiranchuanzhecosplaydeyifuyouxiexiuchi,genbenjiumeiyoufangbeishaonvdezheiyijiao!

shenlangzhiganjuexiongkouyiteng,jinjiezhetajiuganjuedaoerbianshengfeng,yingshengshengdezazailegangcaitadoubuganchupengdemudengzhishang,muzhuoshangyuanbenjiukaojinbianyuandechahuyeshunshigunluoxialai,henhendezazailetadenaodaishang。

“pa!”

xianxueshunjianjiangshenlangdeyanjingmohu,ercishidetayijiumeiyouganjuedaorenhetengtonggan,taxianzaichulemengbihaishimengbi。

taxiangguozijikenengbeida,bijingzheidifangxiaofeizheimegao,wanyizijizuowanjiaoleshenmexiangmu,youmeiqianfuzhang,beirenshoushiyidunyeshuodeguoqu。

ketawanwanmeixiangdao,zijijingranzaisimihuisuobeirenyongyinzeidemingyijidale!tianlihezaia!nandaoxianzaixiaojiejiedouzheimepime?

haiyou,zijideyanjingzenmezheimechen?gangyouzheizhongxiangfa,shenlangdetouyiwai,youguangrongdehunleguoqu。

“gongzhu,fuma…fumatameishiba!”zaimenbiantantoutannaodexiaohuankandaoshenlangmanlianshixue,buyoudeyouxiedanyoudehuitouwendao。

“meishi!tanengyoushenmeshi!guangtianhuarizhixiajingranyishanbuzhengdejiuchulai,jianzhijiushisiwensaodi!zhenbuzhidaotakaoshenmekaoshanglezhuangyuan!”shaonvyijiufenfenbuping,tebieshixiangdaogangcaineiyimu,tadelianyufaxiuhongqilai。

“keshi,zuotianhangongzitamenguanlefumabushaojiu,erqiefumashibeiqianghunde,shibushimeiyouyishidaozheixie…”yueshuoxiaohuandeshengyinyuedi。

shaonvmeitouqingcu,siliangyixialenghengyisheng:“quqingchenyuyiguolaijitaqiaoqiao,haiyou,yihousidixiabuyaojiaotafuma!”

shaonvdelianshangshanguoyimoyane,zhuanshenliqu。

xiaohuanwaitoukanleyiyanhunmibuxingdeshenlangyiyan,xindiyouxietanxi,shuoqilaishenlangxiangmaojunmei,caihuahengyi,midaolebuzhiduoshaoguigeshaonv!

kebuzhidaoweishenme,gongzhuhaoxianghenbudaijianshenzhuangyuan,yezhengshiyinweizheigeyuanyin,shenlangcaihuibeihangongzidengrenyidunguanjiu…

ai!xiaohuanxinditanxiyisheng,lianmangzhuanshenxiangwaimianpaoqu,liuxiamanlianxianxuedeshenlanggulinglingtangzaidishang。

shuimengzhongdeshenlangganjuehenlei,tazuomengle,yigehenzhangdemeng,zaiqizhongtahaoxianghuashenlegurenyiban,conghaitikaishiyizhidaojinbangtiming,dezhongzhuangyuan,xinzhonggengshichouchumanzhi,xiangyaoyizhanbaofu。

henqiaodeshi,zheigegurenyejiaoshenlang,hetatongmingtongxing。

buguodaoleshenlangzhongzhuangyuanzhihou,huamianjiukaishimohuqilai,tayixijidezijigangqukanhuangbangjiubeijigerenludaoleyichupianpizhidi,suihouyouhongpaojiashen,yuyiminghenshijunmeidenvzichengqin。

dengdeng,zheigenvzibujiushimazijiyinzei,bingqiedalezijiderenme?zheijiujingshishenmeqingkuang!

mengyijiuzaiyanxu,yigemianrongweiyan,shenzhelongpaoderenpaizhezijidejianbangzhufulejiju,haowuyiwen,zheijiushihuangdibixiale,denghuangdilikaizhihou,yiqunchuanzhehuaguidenianqingrenweidaozijishenbian,jiushuibutingdebeiguanlexiaqu…

daolezheishi,huamianjiaranerzhi。

shenlangganjueqianfangyouyidaoguangliangchuanlai,yonglidezhengkaishuangyan,yizhangzhouzhoubaba,mamalailaidelaolianchuxianzaitayanqian。

“woqu!”

shenlangheleyitiao,xiayishidehuileyiquan,zhijiedazailelaolianshang。

“aiyou!”laozhetongkudeaihaoyisheng,shenzimengranxianghoudaoqu。

shenlangyejimangfanshen,zheishihoutafaxian,zijiyijiuzaisimihuisuo,danyijiehemenglidechangjing,zheilisihushizijide“hunfang”?

“chenxiansheng,ninmeishiba!”xiaohuanjimangzoujinlai,fuqidaozaidishangdechentuo。

“meishi,meishi。”chentuohuilehuishou,qingqingroudongleyixiafazhangdeyanquan,xinliandaoyishengdaomei,zuoweidangchaoweiyidefumaye,zijiaiyiquanyounengzenmeyang?

“fumayedeshentihenbucuo,gangcaibuguoshixinlixiaohaoguoducaifashengyunjue,wodaihuikaiyifuyao,fumayehejiciyejiumeishile。”

“duoxiechenxiansheng!”xiaohuanlianmangdaoxie。

“wufangwufang!”chentuoyaoleyaotou,dakaiyiyaoxiang,maitouzaizhuoshangxieleyidaoyaofangjiaojixiaohuan。

shenlangzheishihouyefanyingguolaile,tayidingquedingyijikending,zijichuanyuele,erqiehaiyibuxiaoxinjiuchengweilefumaye!